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Can you believe a JW when they are nice to you?
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status offlineAndriaSyxx
#21 [-]
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Sep 23 14 7:41 PM
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Being cautious is better than being paranoid. The girls DO have their father's genetic material floating about in there somewhere, so who knows .... maybe in this case the heart HAS been made fonder due to the distance!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlineCeili
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Oct 17 14 12:47 PM
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Hoo hoo, just a short update...
Well, it seems that they are getting closer again, father and daughters, through his op and recovery. When I was there now again, and he home from hospital, the girls came over every day.
And guess what, the older daughter went dancing with me. Wow wow wow. I loved having her with me, and she is a great dancer.
In the week I was there, neither of us has breeched the subject of JW. I wanted to, many times, but am so afraid of destroying this newfound delicate balance/interest/connection. I am so pleased that for them doors have opened, and for their dad, that he has a closer tie with them. Long may it last and evolve!!!
So that means for now my curiosity must take a back seat!
Sometimes I sense a slight emotional pull-back from the two girls, as if (and this is of course my interpretation) they are scared by their own feelings and courage.
And it's really an honor to see how love and the desire to belong to a complete family system can work it's magic. Fingers crossed!
So, at no point have they tried to get their dad into the JW, or me. If it was a struggle for them to refrain from doing so, then they have hidden it well. Either way, for me there is a bit of an walking on eggshells feeling, because of the attempt not to break anything that is just gently growing. :-)
In all of this, I have come to like them a lot!
Take care everyone,
Happy Halloween smiley: happy
Ceili xx
status offlineAndriaSyxx
#23 [-]
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Oct 18 14 6:36 PM
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Well now Ceili ... it seems the jdub ice is breaking! Hallelujah to that eh!!!
If you feel the need to sate your curiosity and don't want to rock the jdub boat with your friend's daughters ...... then come on in here and we'll help you out. We will be honest and tell you proper answers too. We're nice like that!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlineCeili
#24 [-]
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Oct 19 14 9:30 AM
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Whoop, Andria, thanks a lot! Because I am a bit confused about their behaviour.
They are
playing guitar
went dancing with a non-jw
went with their dad to his sisters, who they haven't seen in years (at the moment he can't drive after the op)
want to travel the world
go to rock concerts
didn't mention jw to me or him
One said she's interested in psychology
and acting
Well, if I didn't know any better, there would be no clue whatsoever that they are jws. After all I read on here, I thought that there would be. All I've seen so far was a jw leaflet when I briefly went into their house.
I'm afraid that if we were to talk jw, I'd see a completely different side to them. My friend told me that they are being taken out knocking doors as well.
And on Sunday mornings and some other day of the week, they go to meetings (is that how they are called)
Once, we talked about sci-fi. I asked them why all the young people are nowadays into vampires and stuff. They said that's not what they are about. At the same time, they read/play sci-fi games, and like spiderman...I said isn't that a contradiction, to which they said, well, we're such a mix, aren't we. Indeed!
Another anecdotal event which my friend told me is that their grandmother (non-jw) used to throw holy water at them. Imagine! One religion is crazier than the next.
When I asked him how come he didn't stand a chance about which religion his daughters would be 'thrown into', he said that fathers have no say in this country, and if the roles had been reversed (his ex non-jw, he himself jw), the daughters now wouldn't be. Meaning either way, the ex-wife would have won.
He said he just couldn't cope with more arguments. So the ex-wife got her way. (Did I mention she's what's called an 'elder'?)
By the way, I get on with her ok too. I don't have that much to do with her when I'm there, but on occasion I meet her. Again, no mention of the jw. She might assume because he is so set against them, that I am too?
Anyway, sorry for the long post! It moves me quite a bit, and so often I feel unsure.
Ceili xx
status offlineCeili
#25 [-]
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Oct 19 14 9:35 AM
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Just want to add that I feel a bit the mammy with them sometimes. Want to cuddle them and spoil them and protect them.
Who said that here again about mama bear's club? Yea, like that.
But they might not like me doing mammy stuff. I already worry about x-mas. I'd love to give them a pressie and card, but also want to be respectful of their beliefs, ah, see, I'm all in two minds about that one!
I don't actually respect that religion, but I do respect them, and the last thing I want to do is hurt them.
xxx
status offlineAndriaSyxx
#26 [-]
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5 days ago
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Ceili ... don't feel unsure. Share what you feel like honey ... it's better out than in you know! Just like a fart!
I'm glad that the girls are talking about more 'worldly' pursuits and not just banging on about their religion, getting married or going door banging as a pious-sneer! It could be the much needed baby steps for your friend to have his girls back on a more permanent basis! I truly hope so!
With regards to the Christmas gifts ......... until they are clearly out and about living life as it SHOULD be lived ... instead of giving them a Christmas gift which may make them feel really uncomfortable or send them running back to the religion from the fear of all things 'pagan' related ...................... give them a little 'it's great to get to know you' gift instead. And make sure it's NOT on December 25! You don't have to respect the religion as the religion has never earned that respect ... but I totally understand how you feel about giving them respect. It's all about baby steps honey!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlineCeili
#27 [-]
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LMAO, Andria - 'like a fart' hahaha
Thanks so much in giving me advice, never had a situation like this before, and don't want to send them running!
At the same time, I crave for a 'normal' relationship, you know, where I didn't have to think about behaving any different re. xmas i.e.
Next time I'm visiting with my friend, it's the younger daughter's birthday. Another 'how do I handle that one'!
He apparently already said to her that we would go out shopping and having coffee somewhere (the older sister is away at that time), and she seems to like the idea. Now, my gut wants to just go and get balloons and a card and cake, but....might not be wise if what you say could happen, that she might run to the 'safety' of what she knows best. Are birthdays considered pagan? *Looks sheepishly around* smiley: laugh
And here's another one: The older sister is away because she's meeting a boy (I guess Jw) in another country. They have communicated so far only by phone, once a week. I think, but am not altogether sure, that they are going to check whether they are compatible for marriage.
Are marriages 'arranged' somehow?
I said to her, you have always choices, this visit doesn't commit you to anything. And that the worst thing that can happen is that they don't like each other and she takes the next flight back home. I hope I have supported her without scaring her off...but she is a quite a sensible girl!
Thanks again for taking the time to talk to me,
take good care,
Ceili xx
status offlineAndriaSyxx
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Yes ... birthdays ARE considered pagan. When I was growing up ... the reason why I couldn't celebrate my own birthday or go to the parties of school friends (I was fortunate in having parents who allowed us to make friends with 'worldly' kids) ............. was that the first 'recorded' birthday present ever given, was John the Baptist's head on a plate ... at the bequest of King Herod's daughter. I stopped quoting that reason very early on and learned to say 'my mum and dad are Jehovah's Witnesses so I'm not allowed to come to your birthday party ... sorry'. Kids stopped asking after a while.
With the birthday ... go along with what her father has suggested. You can always get her something and give it to her another day, again similar to the suggestion in my last post ... only this time you can say something like "I saw this and thought of you!" and leave it at that. When she gets to the stage of openly talking about and wanting to celebrate her birthday ... that's when you can go the whole hog with a luscious cake topped with candles ... balloons ... flowers ... you name it!
With the older daughter and her meeting the online fella ....... don't forget that a lot of young ones now are looking for a way out and he may well be too! When I was a teenager .... a lot of the young ones paired up and were married very early on. One wedding I was a bridesmaid for ... there were two bridesmaids, two groomsmen and of course the bride and groom. Only the groom and I were over 18 and could sign the official legal stuff ..... the bride signed her wedding certificate but her parents signatures were already on there. They had to get another 'witness' over 18 to co-sign the official docs with me!!! Marrying young was the one way to get independence (of a kind) from the jdub parents ... and of course to have sex. Your friend's daughter will hopefully take your advice and realise the visit doesn't mean she has to give her life to him! I'm glad she's sensible .... that will keep her head and her heart in the right places!
It's always a pleasure to talk to you Ceili ..... you've been learning heaps since coming in here and will soon be able to hand out advice to others caught in the same position!!!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlineCeili
#29 [-]
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Ah, thanks Andria, but somehow I think the more I read, the more confused and suspicious I get! Without really knowing anything. And I don't really want to know, the bits of doctrine and beliefs I've read about are simply too absurd to get my head around.
However, today I'm upset. And need your insight again!
Yesterday, there was a meeting between my friend, the ex-wife (elder) and the two girls. About selling the house. The upshot is that it's not worth being sold, unless he would actually forego his claim on it, which is I think, 50 per cent since the divorce. He hasn't been told that that is what they would like him to do, but it's what he is hearing.
Since he is hard up moneywise, that would leave him with nothing. And it's only 6 weeks since his big heart surgery, and he is told that it's not 'ideal' that he is living there. (In a small section of the house, separated from the main house, that he had to do up with his money after the divorce, whereas the other three simply carried on in the main part of the house).
In other words, we don't want you, is what he is hearing. Needless to say, this adds a colossal amount of downward spiral to his depression. Seemingly the daughters didn't comment on what was said by his ex wife. I could hear how betrayed he felt, and kicked out, unwanted.... and I don't know now what to think about their being friendly. Maybe I'm getting paranoid, but I am fearing that they have put on a good show...to soften him up for what they are really after...the house.
It's not the first time he felt not wanted there anymore, and has heard similar comments in the past, and I know it's only his fear of not seeing his daughters anymore that keeps him there.
So, again, I have to somehow come to terms with fallout from jw activity. Because the little bits I know now about the jw, ... they seem resistant to evidence, proof, true compassion....oh, man! It's bad, isn't it.
There has been no answer to my latest email from the older daughter. Again, I fear that there is this hidden agenda....maybe I need to sleep on it. Just feel so so sorry for my friend. If I told him what I am writing here he wouldn't like it, because to him, the daughters can do no wrong. He's always protective of them, and that's why he is actually considering giving up his share of the house so that they have enough money to move somewhere they like (or keep the whole house, whatever).
So that's now really where I need your advice. Am I being paranoid to consider that they had a 'bigger plan'? I'm quite upset about it at the moment, so I don't trust my own judgement. Sorry, Andria, if this came across in a jumble, hope my ramblings make some sense! smiley: embarassed
Take care,
Ceili xx
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> Longest thread ever - ARMAGEDDON here yet?
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Longest thread ever - ARMAGEDDON here yet?
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status offlinepunkofnice
#1281 [-]
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Oct 14 14 4:09 AM
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There's plenty of time Somebody.........you will be able to contribute loads before 'armageddon(tm)' arrives...ahem.....if ever.
Regards Paul (MDA - Mentally diseased apostate)!
Just remember. Neither The Watchtower(TM) nor the elders(TM) nor anyone in the 'truth'(TM) have any authority over you. Once you accept this you're well on your way to living!
Paint jobs on some familiar magazines and 'dublications' of the washtowel are kept here >> http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/topic/17962/Some-Familiar-Publications-given-the-paint-job
I wish to see the Governing Body of Jehovah's witnesses(R) put on trial for crimes against humanity and face absolute justice. Why? Consider the un-Biblical an dangerous 'Blood doctrine', Shunning and the protection of paedophiles and you may see why I feel this way.
status offlineAndriaSyxx
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Oct 15 14 6:12 PM
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We have the forthcoming trip to the big smoke to see The Stones ..... NO big A until after that thank you very much! No wait ... then it's the fast road to Christmas and we have lights to put up ... a tree to decorate ... Gav's Mini Christmas Puds to make. The big A? Not today!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlinenobodyknows
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Oct 16 14 8:17 AM
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This whole Ebola thing has me scared ;). Doesn't the bible say there will be diseases and famine? Oh no, that must mean it's close!!!!
"(actually you are a wonderful SOMEBODY!)" ~ Punk
status offlinepunkofnice
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Oct 16 14 11:42 PM
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Somebody - Yes......and the ISIS thing too. I heard that a dubbie latched on to that too. Disease = It's 'soon(tm)'. Wars = It's 'soon(tm)'. Stub your toe = It's 'soon(tm)'.
Regards Paul (MDA - Mentally diseased apostate)!
Just remember. Neither The Watchtower(TM) nor the elders(TM) nor anyone in the 'truth'(TM) have any authority over you. Once you accept this you're well on your way to living!
Paint jobs on some familiar magazines and 'dublications' of the washtowel are kept here >> http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/topic/17962/Some-Familiar-Publications-given-the-paint-job
I wish to see the Governing Body of Jehovah's witnesses(R) put on trial for crimes against humanity and face absolute justice. Why? Consider the un-Biblical an dangerous 'Blood doctrine', Shunning and the protection of paedophiles and you may see why I feel this way.
status offlineBilly Sugger
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Oct 18 14 12:04 AM
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Well, I'll go t'foot of our stairs!!
It ain't here.
Well, I told the past to kiss my ass and turned and slammed the door.!!
Mike Estes 2012.
Free to be me.
Ian Gillan 1970
status offlineAndriaSyxx
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Oct 18 14 7:08 PM
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If they were all so worried about the end of the world being SO close ...... then their full on advertising campaign is rather a waste of money! jw . org everywhere ...... random links to jw . org if you put the two bits close to the . bit .................... jw . org cookies ... jw . org this and jw . org that ............. they must be spending millions!
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status offlineCeili
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Oct 19 14 9:45 AM
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True, Andria, what a waste it would be.
There seems to be constant conflict between some end that is near (no need to do anything or learn anything) and the need to gather more sheep to the flock (must do things).
Last night, watching the news, I jokingly said to my hasn't-got-a-clue-about-jw husband, that the jw are right, Armageddon is around the corner. He collapsed laughing.
And then he said, humans have a remarkable skill to fix things after breaking them. No Armageddon so. Thought I'd let you know. smiley: roll
Ceili xx
status offlinepunkofnice
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Ceili wrote:
No Armageddon so. Thought I'd let you know. smiley: roll
Ceili xx
I am gutted. Perhaps Hurricane Gonzales will change all that.
Regards Paul (MDA - Mentally diseased apostate)!
Just remember. Neither The Watchtower(TM) nor the elders(TM) nor anyone in the 'truth'(TM) have any authority over you. Once you accept this you're well on your way to living!
Paint jobs on some familiar magazines and 'dublications' of the washtowel are kept here >> http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/topic/17962/Some-Familiar-Publications-given-the-paint-job
I wish to see the Governing Body of Jehovah's witnesses(R) put on trial for crimes against humanity and face absolute justice. Why? Consider the un-Biblical an dangerous 'Blood doctrine', Shunning and the protection of paedophiles and you may see why I feel this way.
status offlineCeili
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Hoohoo, Punkofnice
True. Had a very weather-related Armageddon-esque episode this morning (it passed, though).
Rode the bike to the doctor surgery, because weather report said it will be dry today.
Got drenched on way back.
Does that count on the Armageddon scale?
Ceili xx
status offlineLinda.cavymadness76263
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Ceili- Of course it counts because things weren't as predicted so it must be a sign of times smiley: eyes because no one knows the Truth but them laughing devil
I wrote this someplace else Brain Fart last week when the town was doing a scheduled "Red Alert" for making sure the system was working - Omg, fence-rider put in all her drama about Armageddon and was ready to run some where safe.
status offlineAndriaSyxx
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Ceili ... Ceili ... Ceili ..... you go girl! You've got a good grip on the long lost Armageddon .... we are SO proud of you!!!!!
I can just see your sister putting her head between her legs and ready to kiss her ass goodbye Lin! We don't have a warning system like that in our town but we have lived in smaller towns when the sirens have gone off ... usually a bushfire alert and a quick way to get all the local firefighters together. I still have residual (very minute these days) split second shudders when I hear a storm is coming ... or a particularly loud noise scares me. D'oh!
Now ...... back to the Big A .............................................. not this Wednesday night as we have The Rolling Stones concert on! Can't wait for that.
"Life is too short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you!"
status onlineFiguringitout20
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What's your favorite Rolling Stones song? I hope you have time to answer. It's very stormy in our area today. So the big A might wipe us out tonight.
status offlineCeili
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Oops, just in need of cheering up, so maybe a little Armageddon could help here?
You know what, a mini-Armageddon, like, storm in the teacup kinda thing, might be just the thing for me now. Would shake me loose from worry, at least. Yea, where can I order an XXXS size Armageddon??? Like with Bruce Willis in it?
Have a nice, almost Armageddon-free evening, and Andria, enjoy the concert! We have a great future ahead of us - if the Stones made it to old age in whirling form, so can we.
xxx
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