AtheistNexus.org story about an ex-Jehovah's Witness

Greetings
Posted by Brian on December 27, 2009 at 11:04pm in Introductions
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Hello everyone, glad to be here.
 My name is Brian and for the first 25 years of my life I was a Jehovah's Witness. A few years ago I noticed some "inconsistencies" (actually, they were baldfaced assertions that even my washed brain couldn't accept) in some of the Watchtower Society's (that's the JW organization) teachings. I think I always had atheist leanings, and I remember I once told a friend that I'd probably be an atheist if I wasn't a JW. She didn't like that one bit and I had to backpedal.
 I think ironically that the JW approach to religion is what helped me consider the possibility that no God exists at all. They did such a good job in my mind of debunking the crap out of other churches that I truly believed that if the JWs weren't true, nothing else could be. Since then, I've done some studying and have come to the conclusion that the JWs are just as biblically off-base as every other Christian denomination; following the Bible really close in some areas and "interpreting" it away in others.
 What got me started on this path was actual dialog with atheists on social networking sites like digg and reddit. The JWs don't like their followers to entertain other religious viewpoints that aren't first pass through Watchtower Society filters (e.g. the actual beliefs but mangled, twisted, and chock-full of shit they just made-up). This unfiltered conversation kept "converting" me on more and more topics. It was getting harder and harder to reconcile what I was being taught at church to what I now knew to be the truth to the best of my knowledge; weaving the faith in with the facts.
 I always appreciated logic and reason, and one of the big things that led me to my baptism in the church was that I believed there was a logical basis for my belief. That appreciation is what eventually led me out of it, as I was no longer able to convince myself that my faith and the facts could be reconciled. One night, I was typing a comment on a website responding to a particularly poor Christian argument, and I typed the phrase "I'm an atheist." I stared at those words for a long time. In fact I left the computer and had to lie down for a while. I thought to myself "am I part of this religion because I believe it, or because I don't want to lose everything; my family, my friends, my entire social network?"
 I thought long and hard and decided that I should stop pretending and admit what I had gradually accepted over the past few months prior: I was an atheist. I finished my comment and clicked the "submit" button, and with that mouse click I sealed my fate.
 For those of you who aren't familiar, Jehovah's Witnesses aren't very keen on people outside the church (that is, when they're not trying to recruit you, if they are, they'll be incredibly nice to you), and when someone who was in the church decides to leave, all hell breaks loose. They practice strict shunning, a form that is more strict than the Amish. I personally know one former JW who was kicked out of his home for violating the code of conduct (sex before marriage) and refusing to marry a 17-year-old girl within six months of the deed's discovery. It tore him up for nine years until I showed him Crisis of Conscience and he was finally able to free himself mentally from the shackles of the JW religion. The JWs teach that even saying one word to a "disfellowshipped" person is a gross sin and even grounds for disfellowshipping the person who said it. They even tell their members to limit contact with excommunicated family members as much as possible, speaking to them only when absolutely necessary.
 Needless to say, my parents were very upset when they heard about my lost faith. My dad had me over for a "debate" but I wasn't prepared. I brought up a few points, but he just talked over me. I just nodded and kept quiet. Today, I probably would have fought more, but I didn't have the "experience" back then I have now. Surprisingly though, they kept it on the d/l to the elders of the church, on the premise that I would "behave" myself--i.e. not date "worldly" girls (and in my "status" I wasn't good enough for JW girls anyway, so basically no dating period), and no contacting long-lost excommunicated friends. After about a year of this, I started meeting up with hobby groups I found on meetup.com. Eventually, I started to like the "worldly association" that had always been condemned.
 Last year, I started dating the woman who became my wife this past September. In fact, it was New Years' Eve as I was playing WoW with one of the few JW friends I had left that my "indiscretions" were forced out in the open. From that point forward, I was shunned completely by my family. I find it funny. For over a year I told my parents over and over I was an atheist and no longer believed the Witnesses drivel, and it was the revelation that I was no longer a virgin that sent them over the edge.
 I think it's kind of an odd fascination with sex most JWs have. They have this saying that most people who leave their religion do so because of "immorality"--sex outside of marriage. I wonder how many of those "sex-crazed lunatics" were actually just people like me who had given up on the religion a long time ago and just started living our lives the way we wanted. I know they'd rather blame their declining membership on lack of "self-control" as opposed to people knowing the ins-and-outs of their doctrine and saying "yeeeeah...thanks but no thanks," so that's probably the purpose it serves.
 Anyway, sorry for the long post, and I promise I'll try not to bring up JW stuff all the time. I'm still recovering, but I hope one day to fully become an ex-ex-Jehovah's Witness.






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 Permalink Reply by Kalypso on December 28, 2009 at 8:45am
Welcome to A/N Brian. Reality is awesome!
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 Permalink Reply by Nate on December 28, 2009 at 11:41am
Greetings. I recognize you from one of the ex-JW forums. Nice to see you here, Brian.
I think I always had atheist leanings, and I remember I once told a friend that I'd probably be an atheist if I wasn't a JW...
 I often said the same and heard it from some others too. I really have a tough time understanding those that leave the Witnesses to end up in another religion.
I think ironically that the JW approach to religion is what helped me consider the possibility that no God exists at all. They did such a good job in my mind of debunking the crap out of other churches that I truly believed that if the JWs weren't true, nothing else could be. Since then, I've done some studying and have come to the conclusion that the JWs are just as biblically off-base as every other Christian denomination; following the Bible really close in some areas and "interpreting" it away in others.
 Very accurate observation.
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 Permalink Reply by Cardinal Bird on December 28, 2009 at 12:02pm
Thank you for sharing! I am sure you will find SEVERAL people on this site who share similar backgrounds and struggles. Our religious past has given us the opportunity to evolve as a culture of "mostly" ethical people. I try to tell my family that I agree with the good parts of the bible (Jesus had some nice things to say) from an ethical standpoint. But all the other junk is just BS! And, I don't need to believe it in order to have a wonderful, happy, ethical life.
 My positive spin on atheism is this: I love life more than the religious believers because this is the only life we have. One shot! I appreciate every day more than they do because I know that one day it will be gone forever. I wake up happier everyday now that I have reconciled in my own mind that there is no God looking over me. I don't have to lie to myself. They sort of understand?? Or maybe are beginning to?
 I admire your convictions and hope you continue to maybe one day change your familys views of your new way of life.
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 Permalink Reply by Skeptic on December 28, 2009 at 5:56pm
Great to have you here Brian!
 It's funny how every religion finds it so simple to debunk every other religion.
 One of the things I have said to my many Christian family and friends that always seems to make them stop and think is this:
 Do you think it is possible for someone to live their entire lives believing and following their holy scriptures, worshiping their god, praying and having their prayers answered, literally feeling god working in their lives etc. AND YET they are totally delusion? Is it even possible?
 Most people assume I am talking about them, so they say "NO, that's not possible"
 Then explain the 1.2 Billion Muslims on the planet. Or the 800 million Hindus. Of course it's possible. Everyone out there must be delusional, except you of course- what you feel is real. They claim to feel the same thing, but they must be delusional...
 Anyway, thanks for sharing. And congrats on taking the big step. We've all been shunned in one way or another, so you're not alone!
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Greetings
Posted by Brian on December 27, 2009 at 11:04pm in Introductions
View Discussions
.


Hello everyone, glad to be here.
 My name is Brian and for the first 25 years of my life I was a Jehovah's Witness. A few years ago I noticed some "inconsistencies" (actually, they were baldfaced assertions that even my washed brain couldn't accept) in some of the Watchtower Society's (that's the JW organization) teachings. I think I always had atheist leanings, and I remember I once told a friend that I'd probably be an atheist if I wasn't a JW. She didn't like that one bit and I had to backpedal.
 I think ironically that the JW approach to religion is what helped me consider the possibility that no God exists at all. They did such a good job in my mind of debunking the crap out of other churches that I truly believed that if the JWs weren't true, nothing else could be. Since then, I've done some studying and have come to the conclusion that the JWs are just as biblically off-base as every other Christian denomination; following the Bible really close in some areas and "interpreting" it away in others.
 What got me started on this path was actual dialog with atheists on social networking sites like digg and reddit. The JWs don't like their followers to entertain other religious viewpoints that aren't first pass through Watchtower Society filters (e.g. the actual beliefs but mangled, twisted, and chock-full of shit they just made-up). This unfiltered conversation kept "converting" me on more and more topics. It was getting harder and harder to reconcile what I was being taught at church to what I now knew to be the truth to the best of my knowledge; weaving the faith in with the facts.
 I always appreciated logic and reason, and one of the big things that led me to my baptism in the church was that I believed there was a logical basis for my belief. That appreciation is what eventually led me out of it, as I was no longer able to convince myself that my faith and the facts could be reconciled. One night, I was typing a comment on a website responding to a particularly poor Christian argument, and I typed the phrase "I'm an atheist." I stared at those words for a long time. In fact I left the computer and had to lie down for a while. I thought to myself "am I part of this religion because I believe it, or because I don't want to lose everything; my family, my friends, my entire social network?"
 I thought long and hard and decided that I should stop pretending and admit what I had gradually accepted over the past few months prior: I was an atheist. I finished my comment and clicked the "submit" button, and with that mouse click I sealed my fate.
 For those of you who aren't familiar, Jehovah's Witnesses aren't very keen on people outside the church (that is, when they're not trying to recruit you, if they are, they'll be incredibly nice to you), and when someone who was in the church decides to leave, all hell breaks loose. They practice strict shunning, a form that is more strict than the Amish. I personally know one former JW who was kicked out of his home for violating the code of conduct (sex before marriage) and refusing to marry a 17-year-old girl within six months of the deed's discovery. It tore him up for nine years until I showed him Crisis of Conscience and he was finally able to free himself mentally from the shackles of the JW religion. The JWs teach that even saying one word to a "disfellowshipped" person is a gross sin and even grounds for disfellowshipping the person who said it. They even tell their members to limit contact with excommunicated family members as much as possible, speaking to them only when absolutely necessary.
 Needless to say, my parents were very upset when they heard about my lost faith. My dad had me over for a "debate" but I wasn't prepared. I brought up a few points, but he just talked over me. I just nodded and kept quiet. Today, I probably would have fought more, but I didn't have the "experience" back then I have now. Surprisingly though, they kept it on the d/l to the elders of the church, on the premise that I would "behave" myself--i.e. not date "worldly" girls (and in my "status" I wasn't good enough for JW girls anyway, so basically no dating period), and no contacting long-lost excommunicated friends. After about a year of this, I started meeting up with hobby groups I found on meetup.com. Eventually, I started to like the "worldly association" that had always been condemned.
 Last year, I started dating the woman who became my wife this past September. In fact, it was New Years' Eve as I was playing WoW with one of the few JW friends I had left that my "indiscretions" were forced out in the open. From that point forward, I was shunned completely by my family. I find it funny. For over a year I told my parents over and over I was an atheist and no longer believed the Witnesses drivel, and it was the revelation that I was no longer a virgin that sent them over the edge.
 I think it's kind of an odd fascination with sex most JWs have. They have this saying that most people who leave their religion do so because of "immorality"--sex outside of marriage. I wonder how many of those "sex-crazed lunatics" were actually just people like me who had given up on the religion a long time ago and just started living our lives the way we wanted. I know they'd rather blame their declining membership on lack of "self-control" as opposed to people knowing the ins-and-outs of their doctrine and saying "yeeeeah...thanks but no thanks," so that's probably the purpose it serves.
 Anyway, sorry for the long post, and I promise I'll try not to bring up JW stuff all the time. I'm still recovering, but I hope one day to fully become an ex-ex-Jehovah's Witness.






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Replies to This Discussion
 Permalink Reply by Kalypso on December 28, 2009 at 8:45am
Welcome to A/N Brian. Reality is awesome!
▶ Reply

 Permalink Reply by Nate on December 28, 2009 at 11:41am
Greetings. I recognize you from one of the ex-JW forums. Nice to see you here, Brian.
I think I always had atheist leanings, and I remember I once told a friend that I'd probably be an atheist if I wasn't a JW...
 I often said the same and heard it from some others too. I really have a tough time understanding those that leave the Witnesses to end up in another religion.
I think ironically that the JW approach to religion is what helped me consider the possibility that no God exists at all. They did such a good job in my mind of debunking the crap out of other churches that I truly believed that if the JWs weren't true, nothing else could be. Since then, I've done some studying and have come to the conclusion that the JWs are just as biblically off-base as every other Christian denomination; following the Bible really close in some areas and "interpreting" it away in others.
 Very accurate observation.
▶ Reply

 Permalink Reply by Cardinal Bird on December 28, 2009 at 12:02pm
Thank you for sharing! I am sure you will find SEVERAL people on this site who share similar backgrounds and struggles. Our religious past has given us the opportunity to evolve as a culture of "mostly" ethical people. I try to tell my family that I agree with the good parts of the bible (Jesus had some nice things to say) from an ethical standpoint. But all the other junk is just BS! And, I don't need to believe it in order to have a wonderful, happy, ethical life.
 My positive spin on atheism is this: I love life more than the religious believers because this is the only life we have. One shot! I appreciate every day more than they do because I know that one day it will be gone forever. I wake up happier everyday now that I have reconciled in my own mind that there is no God looking over me. I don't have to lie to myself. They sort of understand?? Or maybe are beginning to?
 I admire your convictions and hope you continue to maybe one day change your familys views of your new way of life.
▶ Reply

 Permalink Reply by Skeptic on December 28, 2009 at 5:56pm
Great to have you here Brian!
 It's funny how every religion finds it so simple to debunk every other religion.
 One of the things I have said to my many Christian family and friends that always seems to make them stop and think is this:
 Do you think it is possible for someone to live their entire lives believing and following their holy scriptures, worshiping their god, praying and having their prayers answered, literally feeling god working in their lives etc. AND YET they are totally delusion? Is it even possible?
 Most people assume I am talking about them, so they say "NO, that's not possible"
 Then explain the 1.2 Billion Muslims on the planet. Or the 800 million Hindus. Of course it's possible. Everyone out there must be delusional, except you of course- what you feel is real. They claim to feel the same thing, but they must be delusional...
 Anyway, thanks for sharing. And congrats on taking the big step. We've all been shunned in one way or another, so you're not alone!
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