Grumbles from an Old Grouch blog posts and comments part 2

Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
 
“Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.“ Thomas Jefferson letter to Peter Carey (1787)
Quick disclaimer time again. This post is not about the basic philosophy of any major religion. They all basically boil down to “The Golden Rule”. How could someone be against that?
As I said in the 1st episode of this series, as well as in “The Theory of Evil-ution vs the Mythology of Creationism” post: “Some of my best friends are religious”. It’s true. They are. I have a number of devout friends who earnestly try to make the world a better place.
This isn’t about them. This is about the types of people and actions that give religion a bad name.
Fyi, iyadbi* (*if you’re a damn bit interested) the reasons I repeated it are 3:
1.It bares repeating. (As opposed to “bears repeating” which could refer to a couple of grizzlies farting in the forest.)
2.It allows me to jamb in 2 shameless plugs.
3.You may not have read the 1st episode. (Shame on you!)

THE 18TH CENTURY WHIZZES BY
I’m pretty much going to skip through most of the 18th century, with one notable exception. Not that there was an absence of bigotry and intolerance. Protestants still hated Catholics, Catholics still hated Protestants, Protestants still hated other Protestants, and everybody still hated the Jews.
There were a few events happening during the century that can kind of act as a guide to the greater picture:
◾(1700) New York and Massachusetts solved their Catholic conundrum by kicking out any Catholics in their jurisdictions.
◾(1701) North Carolina passed the Vestry Act, making Anglicanism its official religion.
◾(1708) Connecticut passed their 1st statute that allowed “full liberty of worship” to Anglicans and Baptists.
◾(1714) The Amana Church Society (aka the Church of True Inspiration) was founded. (You probably remember them because of their appliances.)
◾(1723) On a foreign note: China solved its Christian problem by banning Christianity.
◾(1725) Colonial Slaves got their own separate Baptist church in Williamsburg. (Btw, at the time there were 75,000 slaves in the colonies. This was out of the general population of 600,000.)
◾(1728) New York City got its 1st synagogue.
◾(1732) The only colonial Catholic Church held its 1st mass.
◾(1734) The 1st of 3 or 4 (depending on who you talk to) “Great Awakenings” commences.
◾(1741) The 1st of 3 or 4 (depending on who you talk to) “Great Awakenings” goes back to sleep.
◾(1743) Quakers start preaching against slavery.
◾(1743) Ben Franklin and some of his buds founded the The American Philosophical Society in Philadelphia.
(Members included a few people you might have heard of:  
—
G. Washington

—
J. Adams
 
—
T. Jefferson

—
A. Hamilton
—
J. Madison

 
—
T. Paine
—
J. Marshall

—
M. de Lafayette
Pretty much your standard founding fathers,except for M. de Lafayette who had a different roll to play.
◾(1766) Methodism came to the Colonies.
◾(1769)  Father Serra founded the first mission in California.
◾(1771) The State of Virginia jailed 50 Baptists worshipers for preaching the Gospel contrary to the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.
◾(1774) Massachusetts Baptists were put in jail for not paying taxes to support the Congregational Church. (Back in the “Hateteenth Century”, Baptists were one of the “Them” groups in the “Us vs Them” mindset.)
◾(1777) American Philosophical Society member, Thomas Jefferson, completed his first draft of the “Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom“, which states: “No man shall be forced to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever.” (Take that, tea potty poopers!)
◾(1785)  Another APS member, James Madison, penned “Remonstrances Against Religious Assessments” advocating separation of Church and State. (Hmmm, another “Founding Father” that didn’t toe the tea potty line.)
◾(1786) The legislature adopted the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, which disestablished the Anglican Church as the official church and prohibited harassment based on religious differences. (Good luck with that one.)
◾(1789) The Bill of Rights was ratified. The First Amendment reads: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.“
◾(1796) Andrew Jackson opposed the inclusion of the word “God” in Tennessee’s constitution. (Sounds rational to me.)
◾(1796) The Treaty of Tripoli was conducted. (A bit more on that a little farther down the page.)
Ok, now to that “one notable exception” I mentioned earlier:
THE PHILADELPHIA CONVENTION
One of the cherished myths of the current incarnation of the religious wrong is that the U.S. was founded as a “christian nation”. Like so many of their myths and beliefs, this one is essentially a bovine bowel movement.
Were the writers and framers Christians? Of course they were. Out of 55 delegates to the 1787 Philadelphia (aka Constitutional or Federal) Convention, 28 belonged to the Church of England, 8 were Presbyterians, 7 Congregationalists, 2 Methodists, 2 Lutherans, 2 Catholics and 2 Dutch Reformed.
And at that time and place there simply weren’t any socially acceptable alternatives. (Athesim did not fall into the “socially acceptable” column.) About the closest thing you could safely be was a Deist. (De·ism  n. The belief, based solely on reason, in a God who created the universe and then abandoned it, assuming no control over life, exerting no influence on natural phenomena, and giving no supernatural revelation.) (That’s kinda like knocking up a chick and then splitting before you have to change the diapers. In other words, “Big Daddy” is also “Deadbeat Daddy”.
In practice, Deists believed in a useless god, but not in any of his religious organizations (other than, of course, for social, political or monetary benefit). That doesn’t sound like someone who considers himself a “vessel of the lord’s work”.
American Deists included:
◾Ben Franklin “I wish it (Christianity) were more productive of good works … I mean real good works … not holy-day keeping, sermon-hearing … or making long prayers, filled with flatteries and compliments despised by wise men, and much less capable of pleasing the Deity.“— Benjamin Franklin, Works, Vol. VII, p. 75;
◾John Adams “Twenty times in the course of my late reading, have I been upon the point of breaking out, ‘this would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it.” From a letter to Charles Cushing (October 19, 1756);
◾Ethan Allen “I have generally been denominated a Deist, the reality of which I never disputed, being conscious I am no Christian, except mere infant baptism makes me one; and as to being a Deist, I know not strictly speaking, whether I am one or not.” Ethan Allen, Reason the Only Oracle of Man
◾George Washington “Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought most to be deprecated.” George Washington letter to Edward Newenham (1792)
◾Thomas Jefferson “History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose.“ — Thomas Jefferson letter to Baron von Humboldt, (1813)
◾Thomas Paine “Here it is that the religion of Deism is superior to the Christian Religion. It is free from all those invented and torturing articles that shock our reason or injure our humanity, and with which the Christian religion abounds.” The Writings of Thomas Paine (G.P. Putnam: 1896), p. 322.
◾James Madison (“The Father of the Constitution”) “During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.” Memorial and Remonstrance Against Religious Assessments (1785)
Foreign Deists included Alexander Pope, Adam Smith, Frederick the Great, Issac Newton, James Hutton, James Watt, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, Napoleon Bonaparte and Voltaire. And, going back a few centuries or millenia, there were people like Anaxagoras, Aristotle, Cicero and Leonardo da Vinci.

 
So, (1) were the “Founding Fathers’ devout churchgoers and (2) did they use the bible as inspiration in creating the nation? (1) Not so much and (2) meh!
(1) Most of the FF were what nowadays we would call “C&E” Christians*. *(Christmas & Easter attendees, oh ye of little faith.)
(2) I’m sure if you searched, you could find relationships between the constitution and the bible, as I’m sure you would find relationships between the constitution and most other major mythologies’ holy books.
You would also find influences such as
◾The Magna Carta: (1215) Limitations on governmental power; Due Process; Trial by jury of one’s peers. (Think 5th Amendment.)
◾The Mayflower Compact: (1620) The first American document to provide for a form of democracy that included principles of self-government and voting.
◾Thomas Hobbes: Deist (1588-1679) Hobbes believed in a strong central (i.e. national) government. His book, “Leviathon” (1651) established the foundation for most of Western political philosophy.
◾John Locke: Deist (1632-1704) Believed that people are all born with certain natural rights: life, liberty, and property and that government can’t take those rights away without due process.
◾Charles Louis de Secondat [Baron de Bréde et de Montesquieu]: Deist (1689-1755)Montesquieu was the 2nd most cited source (behind the bible) in colonial America, and the Baron liked checks & balances. (And, I ain’t talkin’ bank accounts.) He promoted the idea of separation of powers between 3 branches in government. (Which btw, was the form of government practiced by the Roman Republic back in pre-Caesar times.)
◾Jean-Jacques Rousseau: Deist (1712-1778) Rousseau’s book “The Social Contract” (1762) promoted liberty and equality and freedom of religion as well as freedom from religion. (As in separation of church and state.)
◾Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union: The first attempt at nation creation, the Articles of Confederation, was a humongous FAIL!! The failure proved a couple of things: 1) Tommy Hobbes was right. 2) Preeminent states rights is a recipe for disaster! (Btw, your high school history teacher lied to you. Washington was not the 1st President! He was the 15th. 14 men including Peyton Randolph, John Hancock, John Jay & Richard Henry Lee served under the Articles.)
You’ve probably noticed (Hell, I pointed it out often enough!) that deists were running rampid throughout the whole Constitutional process. Of course, Freemasonry was also running rampid. (And, I haven’t pointed that out, so I will.) For starters, 33 of the 55 delegates to the Philadelphia Convention were Freemasons.There were a lot of Freemason/Deists in the group.
A lot has been made about Freemason influence on the early government. And, especially in various designs ranging from the dollar bill to the layout of Washington D.C., this is rather evident. As to their religious influence? Freemasons believe in “the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man”. Beyond that it gets rather vague. They were more open-minded in their beliefs as evident in the Freemason/Deist crossover numbers.
So, I guess, in answer to my own question, if there was Freemason religious influence, it most likely echoed the Deist line, rather than the organized religion line.
Colonial Freemasonry has been visited more than a few times on the History channels. I recommend that you watch if you get a chance. The programs are fairly interesting if you’re a history fanboy.
To sum it up, (It’s late and I’m getting hungry.) the Constitution was not “inspired by god”. It basically drew on a number of progressive (for the time) ideas from various sources and assembled them into a very workable document that could grow and adapt along with the country. The FF, whatever their other attributes or failings were intelligent men who put the good of the country mostly above their own interests. Remember, this was the “Age of Enlightenment” and western civilization was breaking away from the autocracy of monarchies and religion.
Plus, as you might have noticed, Big Daddy, J.C. and the Sacred Spook aren’t mentioned anywhere in the constitution. The closest mention, “in the year of our lord”, was a common time reference in this era.
Now, the Religious Wrong may try to “weasel word” their way around the subject, but the coffin’s final nail came in the form of the 1796 Treaty of Tripoli. Article 11 states: “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion…”
Check it out yourself!

My work here is done.
Tune in next time when we get to the fabulous 1800′s with Mormons, more “Great Awakenings” and some of the damnedest takes on religion that side of the Church of God with Signs Following(that came in 1910, two episodes down the road.)
May the Force be with you! (Or, at least somewhere in the neighborhood).
Grouchy
 



 
 
 

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)

 
 Welcome to the 3rd episode of the “Religious Wrong” saga. This one covers an introduction to the religious intensity that was the 2nd Great Awakening. A lot of what is now, is because of what was then.
There’s not quite as many of those nefarious deeds that we all love to read about, but there’s quite a bit of “stage setting” with a few tidbits thrown in to keep the interest up.
After you peruse this, click on over to “Mormonism: The Big Con”. Lotsa weird stuff going on over there.
 

The Rise of “American” Christianity

The beginning of the 19th Century saw the advent of the 2nd out of 3 or 4 (depending on who you talk to) Great Awakenings. The 1st GA woke up back in 1734 and had gone back to beddy-bye by 1741. This one stayed awake from around the end of the 18th Century until it started getting sleepy again in the 1840′s. A few years later the country underwent a “3rd Great Awakening” (A “three-pete” or just insomnia?) I’ll cover the 3rd GA next post.

GA Denominational GrowthThis was a revolutionary time in religion. Church membership soared! Old groups like the Quakers, the Puritans (Congregationalists), and the Anglicans (Episcopalians), splintered into different factions or dropped by the wayside as groups like Methodists and Baptists passed them by. Methodism was a newcomer, having hit the shore in 1766. And, just a few years earlier, Baptists were one of the “Them” groups in the  “Us vs Them” mindset.
 
There were new churches and cults (sometimes it was hard to tell the difference) popping up all over the place, particularly in New England.Breeding GroundsThe 2nd (& 3rd) “Awakenings” had a lot to do with the resurgence of Millennialism. (It had been almost a thousand years since the last outbreak.)  Contrary to what it may sound like, Millennialism is not about the worship of the number 1,000. It’s the belief that another 1,000 years have passed, so it must be time for J.C. to make a comeback. (If you want to get nerdy about it, it was a type of Millennialism called Postmillennialism, but that’s getting nerdy about it.)
William Miller (1782-1848)—
William Miller (1782-1848)

William Miller
“I believe that the second coming of Jesus Christ is near, even at the door, even within twenty-one years,–on or before 1843.” William Miller, September, 1822  
Millenialism’s most famous advocate was one William Miller. (No, not Goldwater’s choice for veep, this William Miller was actually famous.)
In September of 1822, Willie published his conclusions, including the above quote in a twenty-point document. He later narrowed down the timeline a bit: “My principles in brief, are, that Jesus Christ will come again to this earth, cleanse, purify, and take possession of the same, with all the saints, sometime between March 21, 1843, and March 21, 1844.”
I’m not going to get into his convoluted reasoning behind this, mainly because it just doesn’t seem reasonable. However, if you’d like to take a crack at it, it’s called the “Day-Year Principle“. Check out the link, and proceed from there. (Good luck!)
By 1843, Willie had developed a hell of a following, with estimates as high as 500,000. Over 100,000 people sold all their belongings and waited to be “called up”.
As you may have noticed, J.C. didn’t show up. (I guess he was too busy, visiting Joe Smith). This led to the “Great Disappointment”.
Willie tried to explain that it was just a slight error in bible chronology, but J.C. was coming, he really was! Willie never wavered in his beliefs all the way up to his death, five years later. But, don’t weep too much for Willie, his legacy includes the 7th Day Adventist Church with over 16,000,000 members. (More on that group, next post.)
Btw, Millennialism is still around. Remember this guy?

 
There were a number of reasons, including psychological, as to why it all happened, but I’m not here to bore you to sleep with psycho-babble. (I do that enough of that without it.) Suffice it to say that this was a new country in a new land with a new type of government where new ideas were encouraged, and the country was feeling its wings.
A lot of Americans felt they needed a Christianity to match their dreams (real & day). They wanted a religion that appealed to their enterprising spirit and their enthusiastic patriotism. A few good words about the righteousness of being rich (aka “The Gospel of Wealth“), wouldn’t hurt either. C&N (W&B)Forget about Matthew 19:24: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” That didn’t apply to Americans. Americans were God’s new chosen people. Just ask them, they’ll tell you. (Btw, contrary to popular mythology, there never was a gate in Jerusalem called “The Eye of the Needle“. However, if there’s any money in it, there might be one now.)
Where there’s a marketable (i.e. lucrative) need, there are always those ripe and ready to take advantage. And the 2nd GA had its share (and then some). A number of their names are still well-known, like Joseph Smith & Mary Baker Eddy. Others such as Hiram Edson and Russell Conwell are not so well-known, but still very influential. I’ll have more to say about several of these individuals later in this and the next post. Joe Smith and his “Mormonites” are getting their own series: Mormonism: “The Big Con”. (Available just a short click away.)

With one or two exceptions, this post will deal more with the effects of the 2nd GA. rather than the causes. Some of those effects were positive, but some of them were very negative.
 The Do-gooders(+/-)
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”1Timothy 2:11-12
stampAmong the positives, was a stirring of the women’s movement. It got started when a preacher (Charles Grandison Finney) actually allowed women to pray in mixed gender settings. (Hey, a start’s a start! One small step for a woman, one giant leap for womankind and all that.)
In July of 1848, a group of Quaker women, led by Lucretia Mott and Elizabeth Cady Stanton (A non-Quaker and very skeptical Christian.) organized the Seneca Falls Convention, widely recognized as the start of the women’s suffrage movement.
Religion and the women’s movement were also critical in another 19th Century crusade: the temperance/prohibitionist movement.
 
“Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.” Ecclesiastes 9:7
drunk-for-a-pennyAlcoholism in 19th Century America was way out of control. In 1820, the per capita consumption was the equivalent of 7 gallons of 100 proof per year. Per capita covers every man, woman and child, so unless mama’s breast was booze filled, somebody was drinking baby’s share as well. Older children drank hard cider, wine, and whiskey for medicinal purposes, (cough, cough.) And, since women didn’t quite hold up their end of the drinking binge, men had to drink up the gap. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say male consumption was probably more like 10 to 11 gallons of Mr. Barleycorn. (And, that might be a low figure.)
As a frame of reference, the drunkest country in the world (Moldova) drinks about 4 gallons of whoopie juice a year, and Americans currently consume about 2 gallons. Eastern Europeans tend to be the heaviest drinkers and Islamic people, the lightest.
TemperanceThe clergy increasingly came to see drinking as sinful. (Of course, the clergy tends to see anything that’s enjoyable as sinful.) This time they may have had a point, but as usual they ended up going way overboard.
In 1825, Connecticut clergyman Lyman Beecher (Harriet Beecher Stowe’s daddy) preached and published a series of six sermons on temperance and it’s danger to the country.
Btw, Brother Lyman (a Calvinist fanboy) didn’t just hate John Barleycorn, he also abhorred Catholics and Unitarians. (So much for Christian fellowship.) And, he evidently didn’t get along with his fellow Calvinists too well either. He was charged with heresy in 1835.
Boston ministers and laymen founded The American Society for the Promotion of Temperance (aka The American Temperance Society) in 1826. By the 1830′s there were 6000 local temperance groups.
By 1840, U.S. booze consumption was down to 3 gallons a year, and by 1850, it was down to 2 gallons.
You’ll notice that so far it’s a “Temperance Movement”, not a “Prohibition Movement”. How it got from temperance to prohibition is a story for the next post. In a bit of foreshadowing, I’ll leave you with a date to puzzle over: November 25, 1846. (It was a Wednesday as I recall.)
Can you Carry the day? If not, stay tuned and I’ll inform the Nation next post.
Ok, so I’m lousy with puns. Sosumi! (But that’s a different byte of the Apple.)
I’d like to list the temperance/prohibitionist movement as a positive, and the temperance phase of it was probably a 8.6 (out of 10) on the badness – goodness scale. But the prohibitionist phase to come, had so many unintended negative consequences that it probably rates about a 2.3. (Although, the Mafia has an entirely different take on the matter.)
 
Wild in the Streets
“But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed” Galatians 1:8
If you’ve read the 1st two episodes in this series, you’ll have noticed that this country (or what would become this country) was originally based on intolerance rather than the other way around. By the 19th century this had mellowed a bit, at least between protestant groups. However, Catholics and Mormons were still high on the hate parade. (Mormons are not Protestants. At least that’s what they claim.) What made the situation worse is that religion started sticking its nose in politics. NEVER A GOOD IDEA!
One of the most well-known examples was the Know Nothing (They said it, I didn’t.) Party. They were also known in various places and times as the Native American Party of just plain ol’ American Party. I covered the rise and fall of this bunch of bozos in “The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)” They were primarily anti-Irish & German Catholic, except on the west coast, where they added Chinese to the mix.
Today, you don’t hear a lot about the “Know Nothing” movement,  but at their peak (1854), Movement members were elected Mayors of Philadelphia, Washington D.C. and San Francisco. They carried Boston and several other New England towns and cities; swept the Massachusetts elections and won the Governor’s race in California.
I’m running way long on this post (as per usual) so I’ll just cover one of their exploits:      The Philadelphia Bible Riots.
Bible Riots of 1844Starting in the 1830′s there was an influx of Catholic immigrants, primarily from Ireland and Germany. The Germans were trying to escape religious persecution back home and the Irish were just looking for something to eat. (Irish Potato Famine) These immigrants offended the “Real Americans” (white protestant English/Scottish descendants) and by cracky, they weren’t going to stand for it. So, in 1843, they got organized as Know Nothings and quickly got to feelin’ their friskies.
A number of the Irish Catholics moved to Philadelphia, “The City of Brotherly Love”. (As long as that “Brother” is a WASP.)
In those days, there were daily bible lessons in school. Of course, the bible had to be the “right one” (King James version). The problem was, Catholics had a different “right one” (Douay-Rheims version). Needless to say, this had a confusing effect on the young Catholics, who were still being indoctrinated with a different “truth”.

The local Catholic Bishop convinced the Board of Controllers (school board) to let Catholic students study their own bible and not be forced to join in other religious lessons at school. A year later, a rumor circulated that a Catholic board member told a school principal to stop teaching the bible or be fired. There doesn’t seem to be any truth behind the rumor, but what do rumors have to do with truth?
You might think this was a problem easily taken care of at a school parents meeting or a board meeting. That would be the rational way to do it. But, what does rationality have to do with a bigoted mindset?
On May 3, 1844 the Know Nothings decided to take care of the matter in the streets.Bible Riot MapThis riot lasted until the 8th. By the time it was finished (for the time being), 14 people had been killed, 50 injured and $150,000 damage done. ($3,700,000 in today’s greenbacks)
And of course, the grand jury impaneled to get to the bottom of the Know Nothing led riots, blamed the Irish Catholics for the violence.
But hey, the 1st riot was such a blast that the Know Nothings opted for a sequel.
In early July, after being warned about a planed attack on a Catholic church, the priest requested, and was granted, rifles from the Frankfort Arsenal to defend the church.
When the  Know Nothings heard about it, they assembled a mob at the church and demanded the sheriff confiscate the arms. After that was accomplished, the church was attacked with cannon the KN’s just happened to have at their disposal.
It took 5000 militia to finally stop the violence. This time there were another 15 people killed, another 50 injured. And, once again, the grand jury blamed the Irish Catholics for the riot.
The Know Nothings died out n 1860, split over the Civil War. (Always wondered why they called it the “Civil” War, there wasn’t a damn thing civil about it.) However, the KN’s live on in spirit, if not in deed (yet). Only now, we call them “baggers”.
 
 
The Road to Utopia
New Harmony(with apologies to Bing & Bob)
This was the century of Utopian experiments, almost all of which were religious in nature, and almost all of which collapsed quickly. To live in a Utopia, requires perfection, and it seems that humans just aren’t quite up to the task.
Harmony
In 1805, a German pietist society (The Harmony Society), fleeing persecution from Lutherans, set up a communist (little “c”, not big “C”) community in Butler Co. Pennsylvania, and called it “Harmony”. They sold the town (for a profit) 10 years later and built a second “Harmony” in Indiana. It’s now called “New Harmony”. They stayed there for 10 years and then sold it (for a profit) and went back to Pennsylvania. This time they named the town Economy. (Theirs was quite good, don’t you know!) And, this time they stayed until the sect dissolved in 1905.
The Harmony Society had one major flaw. Their numbers dwindled, because they practiced celibacy. (Which also kinda hurt recruiting efforts.) To them, Millennialists to the core, it was all good because they believed J.C. was coming back in their lifetime. (He didn’t, btw.)
Nashoba
1825 saw the start of the Nashoba Commune near Memphis, TN. The stated purpose of the commune was to buy, free and educate slaves. A very noble purpose, particularly for the time.
There were, of course, some small hitches: Since the commune purchased the slaves, they had to buy themselves out before they were freed. Then there was the problem of “Free Love” (about 140 years ahead of its time).
But here’s the killer: The free love was interracial. Not an easy fit in antebellum Tennessee. (Or, for a looooong time thereafter.) Needless to say, the neighbors were not too tickled with the situation. Funding for the commune dried up and within 3 years, it was gone.
“Free sex” turns out to be one of the more consistent factors in 19th century Utopias.Free Sex Whether it was called “free love”, “complex marriage”, “plural marriage”, “body sharing” or “pulling a train”, Utopia just didn’t seem like Utopia unless you could play “bang-a-broad” whenever you felt the urge.  (Need I mention that these were mostly male dominated Utopias?)
Oneida
Oneida was a religious commune in which everything, including bodies, was shared. (Small “c” communism was another consistent factor in most Utopias.) It was founded by John Humphrey Noyes in New York in 1848 and eventually grew to 306 members. (Btw, John Humphrey is the person who originally coined the phrase “free love”)
Oneida turned out to be one of the more successful Utopias, at least for a while. To support themselves financially, they made and sold travel bags, palm frond hats and other items, but they hit the jackpot with their silverware. (That’s probably why the name Oneida sounded familiar to you.)
Along with “complex marriage”, Oneida also advocated “male continence”. Vaginal sex was fine, as long as there was a “no-cum outcome”. (Plus, there were other “ports-in-the-storm”, or the lady could always lend a hand.)
The Oneida Commune did not subscribe to the general Millennialist thinking. They figured J.C. had already come back in 70CE, and it was up to them to jump-start the “Millennial Kingdom”.
In 1869 they started practicing stirpiculture. You might have heard of stirpiculture by its other name: eugenics. Since they were in the process of creating heaven on earth, they would need perfect people for their paradise. And, what better way to get perfect people than selective breeding. (And, Hitler wasn’t even a gleam in his daddy’s eye yet.)
In the end, sex was one of the primary reasons for its ultimate failure.
Let’s see, how do I put this delicately? Let’s try this approach:
When is pedophilia not pedophilia and when is it statutory rape? The first question was the subject of some serious Utopian debates, and the second was a matter of state law. The first question resulted in quite a bit of dissension in the group, and as a result of the second, Noyes split the country a step ahead of an arrest warrant.
After Noyes left, the commune abandoned complex marriage and reorganized as a joint-stock company, “Oneida Limited” (definitely not small “c” communism anymore).
The last original member died in 1950. Oneida still sells cutlery, but they no longer manufacture it in the U.S. (Asian labor’s sooo much cheaper.)
I’ll have more juicy tidbits about later Utopias next episode.
 
The beginning of the end

On Thursday, November 24th, 1859, Charles Darwin’s “The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection” was published. The 1st printing sold out the first day.
Origin_of_Species-624x498
 
Well, that about does it for this episode. Join me next time when we explore the “7th Dayers”, the “Scientific Christians” and “YHWH’s Witnesses” (If you’re pretending to use Big Daddy’s original name, use the name, not some bastardization of it.)
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Pat Boone, as interpreted by Alvin Stardust.


(I think I’m in love with one of the dancers.)

Behave, or be something, whichever floats your frog.
Grouchy
 

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
 
Congressional Claptrap
“It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.“ Missouri Repuglican Todd Akin – Aug. 19, 2012
A couple of quick disclaimers before I begin:
◾This is not a complete listing. Including all the congressional misdeeds would make for a verrrrry long post. For a more complete synopsis, check out the “Emily’s List” post “The War on Women: Day by Day“. That was my primary source for this post.
◾ You may find that this post is less humorous than most of mine. To be honest, it’s hard to find a lot of humor in restricting rights for women. But, you know me, I’ll give it my best shot.

“Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act” – Jan 7, 2011
Indiana Repuglican Mike Pence introduced H.R. 217, the “Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act,”, The bill would prohibit Planned Parenthood and over 100 other organizations from receiving any federal funds, even for pregnancy/STD testing, lifesaving cancer screenings and preventive care. This bill had 178 co-sponsors (3 “Gutless Blunders” (aka Democrats) & 175 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.
Federal Personhood Legislation – Jan 20, 2011

California Repuglican Duncan Hunter, and lead cosponsor Iowa Repug Steve King, introduced federal personhood legislation in the “Life at Conception Act.” (H.R. 374) This bill had 120 co-sponsors (all Repugs).


“No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act” – Jan 20, 2011
To celebrate the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, New Jersey Repug Chris Smith introduced HR 3, (HR 3 means that this is the 3rd bill introduced by the newly Republican controlled House of Representatives. So much for their “JOBS, JOBS, JOBS” campaign slogan.) called the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act,” The measure bans state insurance exchanges from covering abortion services. (Whatever happened to the “States Rights” mantra of the Repugs? Or does that only cover things that they want it to cover?) The measure would have also taken away tax credits to small businesses who spend their own funds on abortion care. It declared that an incest exception would only apply to minors, and it redefined rape as “forcible” i.e. “legitimate”. (And you wondered where Todd Akin came up with that idea?) John Boehner (ol’ “John of Orange”) said “it [H.R. 3] is one of our legislative priorities this Congress”  The bill passed the House on May 4. This bill had 227 co-sponsors (11 GB’s & 216 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.


“Abortion Non-Discrimination Act of 2011” – Jan 20, 2011
Louisiana Repug John Fleming introduced H.R. 361, the “Abortion Non-Discrimination Act of 2011,” (Shades of Orwellian doublespeak!) which would allow federally funded health care providers to deny abortions to their patients. This bill had 124 co-sponsors (5 GB’s & 119 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.


Planned Parenthood-gutting bill passed – Feb 18, 2011
House Repugs pass Mike Pence’s Planned Parenthood-gutting bill as an amendment to a larger 2011 spending bill.ed
Republicans pass the 2011 Appropriations bill reinstating the D.C. abortion ban – Feb 19, 2011
Repugs pass the 2011 Appropriations bill reinstating the D.C. abortion ban, defunding Planned Parenthood and eliminating the Title X family-planning program, reinstating the global gag rule, and eliminating funding for the UN Population Fund.


Steve King: “Planned Parenthood is Invested in Promiscuity” – Mar 1, 2011
Iowa Repug Steve King proclaims on the floor of the House of Representatives that “Planned Parenthood is invested in promiscuity”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vex77n65nJ0&feature=player_embedded

“Respect for Rights of Conscience Act of 2011.” – Mar 17, 2011

Repug Jeffrey Fortenberry introduced H.R. 1179, “Respect for Rights of Conscience Act of 2011,” This bill allowed employers to opt out of providing contraceptive coverage to their employees on religious grounds. This bill had 223 co-sponsors (10 GB’s & 213 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.

House Repugs pass budget bill H.R. 1473, with a rider banning post-20-week abortions in D.C. – Apr 14, 2011

With a government shutdown closing in House Republicans slapped a rider onto the budget bill (H.R. 1473), banning post-20-week abortions in D.C.. It also contained a resolution defunding Planned Parenthood, including Medicaid reimbursements for family planning services and funding for critical primary and preventive care. This “would result in 1.4 million Medicaid patients — predominately women –losing access to their health care providers” according to Planned Parenthood.

“Child Interstate Abortion Notification Act” – Jun 22, 2011

This act (H.R. 2299) outlawed the transportation of girls under 18 from one state to another for the purposes of obtaining a safe and legal abortion. NARAL Pro-Choice America said this would “endanger the health and safety of young women and threaten caring grandmothers with jail time.” This bill had 172 co-sponsors (5 GB’s & 167 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.


“Protect Life Act” – Oct 13, 2011
The house passed H.R. 358 The “Protect Life Act” would let hospitals deny women lifesaving abortion care. (Doublespeak strikes again!) This bill had 145 co-sponsors (6 GB’s & 239 Repugs) including Todd Akin & Paul Ryan.
“Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act” – Dec 1, 2011
Arizona Repug Trent Franks introduced the “Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act” (H.R. 3541) The bill would subject a doctor to up to five years in prison for failing to determine if race or sex is a factor in a woman’s decision to terminate a pregnancy. This bill had 98 co-sponsors (4 GB’s & 94 Repugs).
House Republicans pass FY 2012 – Dec 16, 2011
House Republicans pass the FY 2012 appropriations package with massive funding cuts to the Title X National Family Planning Program.
“National Pro-Life Waiting Period Act of 2012“- Jan 23, 2012
S.C. Repug Jeffrey Duncan of South Carolina introduced the “National Pro-Life Waiting Period Act of 2012,” (H.R. 3802). The bill mandated that abortion providers wait 24 hours after receiving written notification from a pregnant woman before performing an abortion.

Darrell Issa holds all-male hearing on contraception – Feb 16, 2012
House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Chair Repug Darrell Issa holds a contraception hearing featuring 10 witnesses, eight of whom are men and none of whom favor contraceptive coverage. Issa refuses to admit Democratic witness and Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke.
“Sanctity of Life Act” – Mar 15, 2012
Ron Paul introduced H.R. 1096, which defined human life as existing from conception – and declared that the word “person” shared said definition. (Can you say per-son-hood?)
HCR 112 (Paul Ryan’s budget) – Mar 23, 2012
Paul Ryan introduced his budget for 2013, which allowed insurance companies to continue to charge women higher premiums than men. It allowed them to deny coverage to women due to preexisting conditions. And it allowed them to refuse to cover maternity care. It also slashed Medicaid by 20% and converted it to a block grant. (Which, btw would cause over 14 million low-income Americans to lose coverage by 2021.) And finally, it slashed funding for child care, Head Start, and several other vital programs.
RNC chair Reince Priebus and the war on caterpillars – Apr 5, 2012
When Bloomberg TV’s Al Hunt’s asked Reince Priebus (RNC Chair)  about the Republicans’ War on Women, Rience replied, “If the Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that Republicans have a war on caterpillars, then we’d have problems with caterpillars. The fact of the matter is, it’s a fiction.” (Somebody’s not paying attention, OR HE’S LYING!)

Priebus strikes again – Apr 11, 2012
Six days later Priebus was asked on MSNBC about his “war on caterpillars”. His reply: “I’m not going to walk back, I’m going to double down on it. This war on women is a fiction the Democrats have created…” (So now he’s a “double down liar. As if no one would ever think to fact check his drivel.)
“Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2012″ – Apr 27, 2012
Florida Repug Sandy Adams introduced the Republican version of the Violence Against Women Act (H.R.4970), which removed long-standing protections for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. This bill had 40 co-sponsors, all Repugs.
Flood insurance and “Personhood”? – Jun 26, 2012
Tea Potty Repug (and Ron Paul heir) Rand Paul tried to sneak a personhood amendment into the federal flood insurance bill.

You may have noticed that there have been several  Democrats that joined the Repugs in a lot of this legislation. Almost every time it was the same ones.
A few of them (Jason Altmire [D-PA4]; Joe Baca [D-CA43]; John Barrow [D-GA12]) only co-sponsored 1, so I might give them a pass. There could have been external causes for their sponsorship.
But several of them are serial offenders (Madeleine Bordallo [GU0]; Dan Boren [D-OK2]; Jerry Costello [D-IL12]; Mark Critz [D-PA12]; Henry Cuellar [D-TX28]; Joe Donnelly [D-IN2]; Tim Holden [D-PA17]; Daniel Lipinski [D-IL3]; Mike McIntyre [D-NC7]; Collin Peterson [D-MN7]; Nick Rahall [D-WV3]; Mike Ross [D-AR4]; and Heath Shuler [D-NC11].)
On November 6th, when it’s time to take out the trash, dump these assholes in the compost pile. (It already stinks anyway.)
Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
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Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
 

A quick note or two before I get underway. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I refer to these assholes as Repuglicans as opposed to Republicans. I do that mostly out of respect for the Republican Party (now deceased).
With the exception of some Eastern “moderate” Republicans, the party has been dominated by conservatives for decades. This may sound a bit surprising, but I have no problem with honest, thoughtful conservatives.
The problem is that in today’s tea potty dominated party, there aren’t a lot of “honest, thoughtful conservatives”. The few that are left, are considered “RINO’s” (even Bob Bennett?) and driven out of office. On top of that, the remaining retards don’t seem to have any real answers to any real problems. And because they’re “RIGHT!!!“, they will not brook any compromise. PERIOD!!
Now, I’m not enough of a left-wing nut to think that Progressives have all the answers. But for the last few years, they haven’t had very much help.
 
(pt 2: MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE STATES.)

There are waaaay too many heinous acts to discuss in a post like this, so I decided to shrink it down a bit and hit just a few of the lowlights.
At first, I decided that I would do a “Bottom 10″. However, after going through NARAL‘s state ratings, I found that 18 states had totally flunked and six more that came damn close. (That “F” on their grade doesn’t stand for “Fantastic”!) Thus, the origin of:
THE DIRTY DOZEN & 1/2 (Plus another six because they’re cheap)
Since the Tea Potty/Repuglican takeover of a number of states in 2010, there has been a vast upswing in anti-woman legislation. To put a number on it, there were over 1,100 rights and health related provisions introduced in 2011 alone. Over 2/3rds of the enacted legislation imposed restrictions on abortions in the form of:
◾insurance restrictions in 3 states, bringing the total to 8;
◾waiting periods in 3 states;
◾clinic regulations in 4 states;
◾ultrasound requirements in 5 states;
◾bans in 6 states
◾medication abortion restrictions in 7 states

For much more info, check out the NARAL links up above, or go here to Politicususa.com where I stole found a lot of this info.
Before I start with our “winners”, let us salute those six states who gave it their best shot, but just couldn’t quite make the cut:
 
North Carolina
Governor: Demo.    House: Repug. (68-52)    Senate: Repug. (31-19)
A newly appointed Repuglican House member, a Pastor Larry Pittman by name, circulated an email to every General Assembly member advocating bringing back public hangings for abortion doctors. Pastor Pittman stated “If murderers (and I would include abortionists, rapists, and kidnappers, as well) are actually executed, it will at least have the deterrent effect upon them. For my money, we should go back to public hangings, which would be more of a deterrent to others, as well.” (Pastor Pittman, another poster child for the Religious Wrong!)
NARAL Grade: D+
 
Wisconsin
Governor: Repug.    House: Repug. (59-39, 1 Ind.)    Senate: Repug. (17-15)
Ah, Wisconsin! The state that once epitomized progressive politics, now gives us the likes of Scott Walker and his knuckle-dragging ilk. (Not to mention “Lyin’ Paulie Ryan”.)
SHAME ON YOU!
Wisconsin was one of the seven states that enacted laws severely restricting RU-486. (But not viagra. phew!) The law was one example of a “TRAP” (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) law. This resulted in Planned Parenthood suspending all non-surgical abortions. (If the federal government says you can’t outlaw abortion, go around the law and block it anyway.)
Wisconsin also came up with a unique solution to single parenthood: Label it “child abuse”. SB 507 states “In promoting those campaigns and materials, the [Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board] shall emphasize “nonmarital parenthood” as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect.”
One of the assholes….co-sponsors….assholes who co-sponsored the bill was Don Pridemore. He says women in abusive relationships, instead of getting a divorce and becoming a single parent, should “refind those reasons and get back to why they got married in the first place it might help“. (You thought I was joking when I mentioned knuckle-draggers?)
NARAL Grade: D+
 
Wyoming
Governor: Repug.    House: Repug. (50-10)    Senate: Repug. (26-4)
How’s this for starters: 96% of Wyoming counties have no abortion provider. (That’s 22 out of 23 counties.)
On the plus side, they do have a strong women’s movement that has been successful in stopping anti-choice measures for 20 years. The list includes:
◾Bans on abortions regardless of circumstances;
◾Mandatory delays;
◾Targeted regulation of abortion providers;
◾Criminalizing pregnant women with substance abuse issues;
◾Biased counseling;
◾Promoting anti-choice clinics.
However, Wyoming does earn their D+ because of a lot of anti-women legislation already on the books before ’92:
◾TRAP law (Enacted 1977);
◾
Restrictions on Low-Income Women’s Access to Abortion (Enacted 1985);
◾Abortion Refusal Clause (Enacted 1977);
◾Family Planning Refusal Clause (Enacted 1969, Amended 1988);
NARAL Grade: D+
 
Arizona
Governor: Repug.    House: Repug. (40-20)    Senate: Repug. (21-9)
For the life of me, I don’t understand why Arizona didn’t get an F-. (Maybe NARAL still hasn’t graded their latest shenanigans.)
My high school and college years were spent in Mesa & Tempe. I’ve grown up a bit since then and I thought maybe AZ had done the same.
I was wrong!
Along with a number of other Repug dominated states, AZ passed a post 20 week abortion ban (House Bill 2036) [PDF]. But Arizona, being Arizona, did theirs one better. According to bill, the pregnancy’s 20 weeks begin at the woman’s last menstrual period. In other words, a woman is knocked-up before she’s even fucked. (On the other hand, you could argue that the legislature, aided and abetted by the Wicked Witch of the SW (aka Jan Brewer), did the fucking.)
I disclaim responsibility for any grotesque images that last sentence might conjure up. It’s your head. ;-P

There was House Bill 2625. This allows companies to opt out of contraception coverage in their insurance plans for “religious” reasons. Since the two largest religious groups in AZ are Catholics and Mormons, and since both those mythologies are pretty much anti-contraception, you can guess the effect on working women. (Doesn’t the constitution say something about keeping your damn mythologies out of my government?)
And then there was Senate Bill 1359, the “Wrongful Birth” legislation that would prevent lawsuits against doctors who withhold information on health problems of a fetus.
Here’s the problem wrapped up in a scenario:
Your obstetrician is a very religious man. He’s opposed to abortion based on his beliefs. You are having a troubled pregnancy and you ask him if there is a fetal problem. Since he feels that telling you the truth means that you would probably opt for an abortion, he can flat-out lie to you and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. (One would hope that the state medical regulators would do something, but since this is Arizona………)
Before I leave Arid-zone, I’d like to point out that all Repuglican troglodytes are not of the “male persuasion”. As an example there’s Terri Proud, Tucson’s Tea Potty Rep.
I looked her up and there’s not a lot there (figuratively, literally, intellectually or any “ly” you’d care to mention, except maybe stupidly). She’s a 1-term rep elected in the 2010 tea potty boomlet.
She did manage to grab national attention with an email she sent out to her fellow legislators: “Personally I’d like to make a law that mandates a woman watch an abortion being performed prior to having a “surgical procedure”. (The equivalency of that would be for her to watch a brain operation before she has one installed.
NARAL Grade: D
 
Georgia
Governor: Repug.    House: Repug. (116-63, 1 Ind.)    Senate: Repug. (36-20)
I covered a bit of Joe-jah political weirdness in the The Peach Tea Potty (GA) section of “The Tea Potty (pt 7-The Local Locos)” but that wasn’t the only peach pit in the pie.
 Bobby Franklin introduced the first bill of 2011 in the House (HB 1), It was a doozy! The bill said that if a woman has a miscarriage (“fetal death” in Repuglicanese) without having a doctor handy, the unauthorized vaginal bleeding must be considered a possible crime of prenatal murder and be investigated by authorities.
Bobby also introduced a bill that would dictate that victims of rape and domestic violence must be called “accusers”. He had more than his share of “interesting ideas”. Check out the above link and you’ll see what I mean. Unfortunately, Bobby won’t be entertaining us any more. He died July 26, 2011. One down, too damn many to go! (Just kidding……..sort of.)
Lest you think Bobby was an aberration, let me introduce you to Repuglican Rep. Terry England.

For reasons I won’t go into, this strikes damn close to home. Let me just say, that this man(?) is a prime example of why I consider Joe-jah one of the “stupid states”. To state that women should be forced to carry a dead fetus to term because cows and pigs do it? With the two or three brain cells of his that are spasmodically functioning, he has convinced himself that it’s “God’s will”. His god, maybe. I’m not sure which mythological deity he worships. But a god like that, I don’t want a damn thing to do with.
NARAL Grade: D

TennesseeGovernor: Repug.    House: Repug. (64-34, 1 Ind.)    Senate: Repug. (20-13)
Joe-jah does not have an exclusive on weird obsessions with vaginal bleeding. Tennessee Repugs actually passed their “pre-natal murder” bill (House Bill 3517) [PDF]. And, since half of all fertilized eggs never reach full term, this could overwhelm “law” enforcement and the court system. Tennessee’s private prison manager (Corrections Corporation of America) probably loves laws like this.
Now, don’t get the idea that Repugnuts are totally humorless. For example, there was SB 3310 [PDF] (aka HB 3621). This measure dictates what can and can’t be said in K-8 sex education classes, but there’s a slight problem right off the bat: There are no K-8 sex education classes in Tennessee.
The main point of the bill seems to be the promotion of abstinence-only sex education. “Abstinence-only” is a favorite of the “Religious Wrong”, despite the fact that it doesn’t work. [PDF] States with “Abstinence-only” have much higher out-of-wedlock pregnancies.
And then there’s the section on discouraging “gateway sexual activity”. You know, things like holding hands and hugging and (gasp) kissing.  (After all, every “right” thinking person knows that holding hands leads to doing the “nasty”. And, don’t even think about kissing your mother.)
NARAL Grade: D
 
Now, on to the “Big League Bozos”.
Alabama
Governor: Repug.    House: Repug. (65-40)    Senate: Repug. (22-12, 1 Ind.)

‘Bama! (aka Troglodyte Central) may be “deep south”, but their views on women are about three “klicks” this side of Taliban territory. In fact, if you look closely, the ‘Bama fundies share a lot of commonalities with the Talibaners. I’ll explore that area very closely in an upcoming episode of “The Religious Wrong”. (Part 1 is currently available at your friendly, neighborhood “Grouchy” blog.)
For years, ‘Bama has had some of the most restrictive abortion laws in the country. Some of those laws predate Roe and are not only unenforceable, they’re unconstitutional.
They throw up roadblocks such as mandatory delays and biased-counseling requirements (Guess which side they’re biased toward.). They have gag rules. They target abortion providers with unique and unnecessary regulations. The list goes on and on.
Btw, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act had its origin in “Bama. Not the act itself, rather the discrimination that led to the act.
Ah yes, but what have they done to you lately?
Alabama SB 12: The Right To Know And See Act:
State Senator Alfred E. Newman……I mean Clay Scofield introduced a bill (SB 12) that would require the physician to perform an ultrasound, display the images and give a verbal explanation before performing an abortion. The woman would also have to submit to a transvaginal ultrasound. If you haven’t had the “pleasure”, let me explain: A probe is inserted into the vagina, and then moved around until an ultrasound image is produced. (In other words – “Rape by dildo”.)
But shuckins, Sen. Clayfoot-in-mouth says he’s jist tryin’ to be helpful, ’cause wimen jist don’t understand these here sorts of things. “So she sees that this is not just a clump of cells as she is told,” he said. “She will see the shape of the infant. And hopefully, she will choose to keep the child.”

Phil Williams, 1st term Repugnut Senator from Madison (wherever the hell that is) introduced a perennial religious wrong favorite – “the personhood bill” (SB-5). Personhood bills are so onerous that even Mississippi voters turned one down. (MISSISSIPPI FOR CRAPS SAKE!)
Not only does it outlaw the most used forms of contraception, it would ban or severely limit in vitro fertilization. And, it would mean that every miscarriage would be a potential crime scene.
All-in-all, a win, win, win situation. (At least as far as the fundies are concerned.) For women? Lose, lose, lose.
In another attempt to inject a bit of that “ol’ time religion” into the law books, Senator Phil introduced a “Covenant Marriage” bill. Covenant marriage bills purport to strengthen marriages. What they really do, is make divorce a long and hard process. Oh yah, and pop a little deity into the mix. Also, it gets us a few steps closer to the christian version of Sheria Law.
NARAL Grade: F
 
Florida
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (81-39)     Senate: Repug. (28-12)
In 2010, Florida House Repugs amended an unrelated bill (H.B. 1143) with a provision that required a woman submit to, and pay for, a sonogram even when there was absolutely no medical reason to have one (Btw, a date with a sonogram is going ding you for about $300 – $400.) And, of course, no exceptions for rape, incest or the mother’s health. (Those are just petty little details, anyway.)
You could opt out (in writing) of viewing the sonogram or listening to the doc’s description. You still had to have, and pay for, the sonogram but you could ignore the results. (On what planet does that even make sense?)
The Repugs also slapped another amendment that would have outlawed any private insurers funding abortions under the new federal health care plan. Most of those insurers were already covering elective abortion so they would have to stop the practice even if businesses and women wanted it. (But, according to Repugs themselves, government should not in any way interfere with business.)

The bill passed both houses and ended up on the governor’s desk.
Fortunately Rick Scott hadn’t bought the election yet, so Charlie Crist was still in charge. And, even though Crist is very anti-choice, he vetoed the bill, expressing concerns about making sonograms mandatory. (A contributing factor to his loss in the Repuglican Senatorial Primary, no doubt.)
 
The state also passed a “Choose Life License Plates“ bill (HB 501) This bill provides for annual use fees to be distributed to Choose Life, Inc., rather than counties. It allows  Choose Life, Inc., to redistribute portion of such funds to nongovernmental, not-for-profit agencies that assist certain pregnant women. According to the Florida Association of Planned Parenthood Affiliates says will “result in more funds being given to ‘crisis pregnancy centers,’ anti-abortion organizations that falsely market themselves as professional health facilities.”
Oh yah, and Personhood Florida is working to get a personhood measure on the ballot for 2014. Of course they tried to get on the 2012 ballot and failed, and before that, they tried to get on the 2010 ballot and failed. (You know the old saying: “If at first you don’t succeed, make an ass out of yourself.”)
NARAL Grade: F
 
Idaho
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (57-13)     Senate: Repug. (28-7)
Ah yes, Idaho-ho. My next door reminder that all of the “stupid states” ain’t south of the Mason-Dixon. (Must be the Mormon influence (aka “Utah wannabe”))
They too passed a law (SB 1165) that bans abortion after 20 weeks with no exception for rape. The bill’s house sponsor, Brent Crane (Repugnut-Nampa) said this about that: “the hand of the Almighty” was at work. “His ways are higher than our ways”. (Shades of Sharron Angle. see “Tea Potty (pt 9: Clowns & Commodians)“)
Let me get this straight.This strange mythological “god”. that people like Brent and Sharron and that dipshit in Joe-jah worship, is a sex obsessed sadist who gets his rocks off watching women get raped and impregnated or forever emotionally scarred by carrying a dead or tragically deformed fetus to term. And, not only do we let these people walk free, some of us are dumb enough to elect them to office? Damn! We’re shit deep in sheep dip! (I dare you to say that three times fast.)


Idaho Right-to-Life tried to get a mandatory ultrasound for abortion seeker bill (SB 1387) passed. In his sumation Senate Majority Leader Chuck Winder, Repugnut-Boise said “Rape and incest was used as a reason to oppose this. I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.” (Translation: Abortion seekers lie about being raped.)
NARAL Grade: F
 
Indiana
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (60-40)     Senate: Repug. (37-13)
Remember that “Wrongful Birth” legislation in Arizona? Well, Indiana has one of their very own (HB 1210). Indiana’s bill contains a lot more goodies than just that though:
◾It also effectively cuts off funding for Planned Parenthood;
◾It requires a mandatory ultrasound;
◾It sets up unique restrictions for abortion doctors;
◾It prohibits insurance companies under the federal health care plans from covering abortions.
And then there was Bob Morris (Repugnut-Fort Wayne). Bobby has this strange obsession with little girls. Particularly little girls that wear Girl Scout Uniforms.
What is it with some men and their uniform fetish? Never understood that. Now, whipped cream, I could understand.
Anyway, back to Booby….I mean Bobby. One day he read something on the internet. And, since it was on the internet (and, nobody on the internet would ever lie) it had to be true.
What he read caused him to oppose “extend[ing] legitimacy to a radicalized organization” (Girl Scouts) because they “promote homosexual lifestyles” and study “feminists, lesbians, or Communists” as role models while ignoring those with a religious background.”
(Where do they find these people(?))

NARAL Grade: F
That’s going to wrap it up for this episode. Once again, what I originally thought was going to be a 2-parter has grown into what looks more like a 4-parter. There’s just so much Rupuglican insanity in so many states, and I’m not even covering a fraction of the offenses.
Next time, we’ll continue tripping down the alphabet of NARAL’s flunking states. (Kansas is next.) Until then, don’t forget – You Can’t Spell ‘Grope’ Without G-O-P! (Of course, you also need an R and an E.)
Grouchy
 

 
 




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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
 
If you happened to pop on to this page, WELCOME! This is obviously a work-in-progress, so you’re witness to an ongoing process of creation. And, I have to tell you sometimes it’s kind of ugly.
Things get written or added sometimes just to catch a thought before it succumbs to a “senior moment”. Sometimes it’s just notes or passages I use for direction pointers. Sometimes I’ll set off on a trail and then decide I don’t want to go there. Or, I’ll  find a more scenic, (i.e. snarky) shortcut. Sometimes, what I thought was right, was wrong and I’ll change it before it becomes an official post. And, sometimes after I sober up, I’ll decide the muse was just yanking one of my extremities, so I’ll dump the whole section. In other words (or initials): WYSINWYG.

Kansas:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (92-33)     Senate: Repug. (32-8)
Kansas! I’m sure it’s a nice state (if you’re a farmer), although way too flat for me. And, I’m sure that most of the people are nice as well (in a late 19th century sort of way). But some of the shit that’s come out of Kansas in the last few years is just mind boggling. Since this isn’t about it, I won’t bring up their attempts to cram the mythology of creationism (aka “Intelligent(?)design”) into the educational system. However, I probably will in an upcoming episode of “The Religious Wrong”.
Kansas is (or was) the home and place of work for Dr. George Tiller.
Dr. Tiller as you may recall (it was all over the news, except maybe Faux) was an abortion provider in Wichita until he was murdered in church.
That was, of course, after his clinic was bombed in 1985 and Shelley Shannon shot him 5 times in 1993.
There also have been a number of Butyric Acid Attacks.
Incidences like this don’t happen in a vacuum. They require a conducive political atmosphere. And, that’s Kansas to a “T” (as in T.R.A.P.).
Yup, Kans-ass Repugnuts managed to pass a T.R.A.P. bill with their own unique “Kansas twister”.
On May 16, 2011, Governor Brownback signed the bill granting the health department authority to draft new rules specifically for abortion clinics. (There were 3 in Kansas.)
On June 17, the department issued the new rules and told clinics that they would have to comply by July 1.
The new requirements included installing more bathrooms, expanding waiting and recovery areas and adding larger janitor’s closets. Just getting the building permits would take longer than that. Also, clinics would have to be state certified before they could admit anyone. (There’s another 90 to 120 days.) And, naturally, any clinic in non-compliance would be fined and/or shut down.
 
(“The Health Care Right of Consicence Act”)
Kansas Republicans have unleashed a blitzkrieg on women’s reproductive rights. A Kansas house subcommittee will began considering a bill Wednesday that draws inspiration from anti-abortion laws in Texas, Oklahoma and Arizona. Reports HuffPo: “The bill includes provisions similar to those found in other state laws now facing federal lawsuits, including Texas’ requirement that the mother hear the fetal heartbeat, and Oklahoma’s mandate that mothers be told about a potential risk of breast cancer with an abortion. It also would replicate Arizona’s provision prohibiting tax deductions for abortion-related groups.” Women would also have to undergo a sonogram before having an abortion. The bill’s sponsor is Kansas’ House Federal and State Affairs Committee. The Kansas City Star reports that “The bill is one of four abortion-related measures pending in the Legislature.”
Kansas has also gotten into the Personhood Act by way of HCR5029, which states that, “the state of Kansas shall hereby guarantee the inalienable rights, equal protection and due process of law of every human being from the beginning of the biological development of that human being, including fertilization.” The bill was introduced by 25 state House members. Including one Democrat. The bill requires a two-third majority vote in both House and Senate to appear on the ballot in August.
In Kansas, H.B. 2598 would levy a sales tax of 6.5% on all abortion procedures, reports RawStory: “”Why not slap a $100, $200, $300 tax on an abortion?” Troy Newman, president of Operation Rescue, the largest anti-abortion advocacy group in Kansas, asked Raw Story on Friday. “I’m completely against most forms of taxation, but abortion is such an abhorrent procedure, I would like to see it wiped out with a $2,000 or $3,000 tax on every abortion that happens in Kansas.” HB 2598, punitive in nature like all GOP anti-choice legislation, would give doctors immunity from malpractice, do away with tax credits, and like Indiana’s law, force doctors to lie to patients about non-existent risks of breast cancer. It would also force women to listen to the heartbeat of the fetus before undergoing an abortion. RawStory underscores the financial burdeon created by this monstrous (68 page) bill, saying that it “could also make late term abortions to save the life of a mother, which can run up to $20,000, wholly cost prohibitive, even for middle class women.” This would effectively make this bill a “kill the mother” bill, a theme that runs through much of the GOP’s anti-choice legislation. Rick Perry crony Governor Brownback plans to sign the bill into law if passed.
Laws granting additional funding to so-called “crisis pregnancy centers,” expanding “conscience rights” of medical professionals (in Kansas, they’re calling it a “refusal clause,” and it applies mainly to abortion and contraceptive services), and another measure that at one point threatened the University of Kansas’ OB-GYN program are making their way through the state’s legislature, having passed at least one chamber. The “refusal clause” bill will allow doctors to lie to women about birth defects and withhold cancer treatment in the interest of saving the fetus. This week, the bill was stalled in the Senate.
NARAL Grade: F
Louisiana:
Governor: Repub.     House: Repub. (58-45, 2 Ind.)     Senate: Repub. (24-15)
Louisiana State Rep. John LaBruzzo, R-Metairie, in what he calls a direct challenge to Roe v. Wade, wants to make both women and doctors who have and perform abortions guilty of the crime of “feticide”. This “personhood amendment” (House Bill 587)would make no exceptions for cases of danger to the health of the mother, incest or rape but would for “medically necessary” abortions. Feticide is currently punishable by 5 to 15 years in prison. LaBruzzo once wanted to pay poor women $1,000 to have their tubes tied because he was afraid they were “reproducing at a faster rate than more affluent, better-educated people who presumably pay more tax revenue to the government,” says Nola.com. Update: HB 587 became HB 645 on May 25, 2011 and to the relief of sane people everywhere eventually derailed in the state House.
◾Louisiana seems intent on following the general Republican practice of taking extreme stances against abortion. Case in point: a new piece of legislation (SB 330), filed March 1, 2012 by Sen. Rick Ward III, D-Maringouin, would outlaw abortion by anyone but a licensed physician and label any abortion performed “by any individual who is not a physician licensed by the state of Louisiana” would be deemed a brand new crime: “dismemberment” (“aggravated criminal abortion by dismemberment” to be precise). Violators, reports Nola.com, “would face a prison term of one to five years, a fine of $5,000 to $50,000 or a jail sentence and a fine.” The bill “defines a physician as someone who holds a medical or an osteopathic degree from a medical college in ‘good standing with the Louisiana State Board of Medical Examiners’ and has a license, permit, certification or registration issued by the board to practice medicine in the state.”
◾Also in Louisiana, reports Planned Parenthood, “House Concurrent Resolution 54, by Rep. Frank Hoffman (West Monroe – R), aimed to encourage Congress to defund Planned Parenthood, but was tied up in Senate Finance at the close of the [2011 legislative] session” which ended June 23, 2011. Hoffman claims, reports Nola.com, that “that giving the organization federal funding for services such as screenings for breast and cervical cancer indirectly helps Planned Parenthood provide abortions.”
◾A last item from Louisiana: On July 6, 2011, Gov. Bobby Jindal signed into law Rep. Frank Hoffman’s HB 636. As Planned Parenthood reports: “HB 636 requires Abortion providers to post coercion prevention/abortion alternative signs and gives DHH the authority to develop a new abortion alternatives website. Visitors to the website will not receive comprehensive information about pregnancy options; agencies that provide comprehensive pregnancy options education or provide abortion care will not be allowed to post information on the site.”
◾A personhood bill in Louisiana sponsored by Republican State Rep. John LaBruzzo that would have banned all abortions in the state was defeated when a House vote sent it to the House Appropriations Committee, which shelved the measure. This is not the end, however, as this fall a referendum on a personhood amendment.
NARAL Grade: F
Michigan:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (64-46)     Senate: Repug. (26-12)

The full Senate is set to consider a bill that would make it a crime to coerce a woman into having an abortion. No word on whether or not similar standards apply to coercing a woman into a pregnancy she doesn’t want!
NARAL Grade: F
 
Mississippi:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (64-58)     Senate: Repug. (31-21)
◾In Mississippi Republicans think they have found a way to eliminate abortion in their state without directly challenging Roe v. Wade: Having said that he plans to make his state abortion-free (the state already has only one abortion clinic), Gov. Phil Bryant signed Mississippi House Bill 1390 on April 16, 2012, which requires all physicians who perform abortions to have admitting privileges at a local hospital and board certification in obstetrics and gynecology. Bryant said: “I believe that all human life is precious, and as governor, I will work to ensure that the lives of the born and unborn are protected in Mississippi,” Apparently, the lives of mothers aren’t important in Mississippi. State Rep. Adrienne Wooten (D-Jackson) told the men in the House:”Now, if you’re that concerned about unplanned pregnancies, go get snipped,” The bill takes effect July 1, 2012.
◾That’s not all from Mississippi. Planned Parenthood tells us that “In addition to the abortion law signed by Bryant today, on Tuesday the House passed a backdoor “personhood” amendment to a bill intended to protect Mississippi children. If enacted, the amended bill could outlaw birth control, infertility treatments and all abortions — no exceptions. After passing the House, Senate Bill 2771 is now in the Senate for a concurrence vote.”
◾In Mississippi, a ballot initiative, Measure 26 (The Personhood Amendment), would have, if passed (it fortunately did not) defined zygotes, embryos—even a fertilized egg—as a person. Women would have been unable to have an abortion even in the case of rape or incest – even if her life is in danger, and IUDs, birth control pills and other forms of contraception would have become illegal. Update: Mississippi tried it again: House Concurrent Resolution 61 aka “The Right to Life Amendment of 2012,” (HC 61) would “provide that the right to life is the paramount and most fundamental right of a person; to provide that the world ‘person’ applies to all human beings from conception to natural death.” TPM reports that the bill “was co-authored by three Republicans and one Democrat.” Fortunately, this bill died in committee on March 6, 2012; for the time being, women’s reproductive rights will enjoy a reprieve in Mississippi.
◾The following measures have been considered in Mississippi in the last year: a heartbeat bill, which would ban abortion after a fetal heartbeat could be detected, a personhood amendment, which would outlaw abortion because zygotes are totally people if the people say they are, and a bill banning “telemedicine” abortions, a bill criminalizing assisting a minor in having an abortion without her parents’ consent. Recently, Governor Bryant signed into law new regulations that threaten the existence of the state’s only remaining abortion clinic.
 
NARAL Grade: F
 
Missouri:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (106-56, 1 Ind.)     Senate: Repug. (26-8)
The following two bills may be up for public consideration in November: a bill that would only fund abortions for low-income women on public assistance if the woman’s life was in danger and force women pregnant due to rape or incest to pay for their own abortions themselves or carry the pregnancy to term, and a bill that mirrors the failed Blunt Amendment, which will allow a woman’s boss to determine whether or not contraception or abortion is covered by insurance.
The legislature also considered a bill that would have funneled $1.6 million to “crisis pregnancy centers,” which don’t provide abortion referrals but do provide proclamations that women who want abortions are hellbound and another measure that would have strengthened “conscience clauses.”
NARAL Grade: F
 
 
North Dakota:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (69-25)     Senate: Repug. (35-12)
On February 11, 2011, the North Dakota House of Representatives passed House Bill 1450; a bill which seeking to define a fertilized egg as a human being. As Planned Parenthood reports, “HB 1450 is backed by a national activist group, Personhood USA, working to make North Dakota the epicenter of a heated national debate.”
North Dakotans, on June 12, you’ll have the chance to vote on Measure 3. What will happen if it passes? Your boss will be able to deny birth control coverage, just because. So vote.
NARAL Grade: F
 
Ohio:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (59-40)     Senate: Repug. (23-10)
◾In Ohio, Janet Porter’s “Heartbeat Bill” criminalizing abortion and which was backed by Newt Gingrich and Michele Bachmann, passed the Ohio State House on June 28, 2011. “It prohibits abortions after only about six weeks, a time when many women do not yet even know they are pregnant,” said Armond Budish, leader of the Democratic caucus in the House. The bill is currently being held up in the Senate. See the latest update on Porter’s antics at Right Wing Watch.
◾Also in Ohio, The state budget, approved June 28, 2011 by the Senate, bars state hospitals from performing abortions.
◾In Ohio, Republicans are about defund Planned Parenthood, having made certain that Gov. John Kasich’s (R) mid-budget review bill contains language that prevents the organization from receiving federal funding worth $1.7 million because the funding is administered by the state Department of Health (blame and shame for the language should attach itself to Rep. Kristina Roegner of Hudson, Rep. Cliff Rosenberger of Clinton County and House Finance Chairman Rep. Ron Amstutz of Wooster). This is supposed to be a move to stop abortions but the money can’t be used for abortions (and only 3 of the state’s 37 clinics actually provide abortion services) so in fact it is a blatant attack on Planned Parenthood itself and therefore against Ohio women. Cleveland.com reports that “The budget bill is on a fast track, with majority-party GOP lawmakers expected to pass the legislation before Memorial Day.”
◾Ohio has joined the personhood amendment sweepstakes. Personhood Ohio is gathering signatures to add an abortion ban to the state’s constitution in 2012, defining as a person even fertilization of an egg. Even a fertilized egg apparently as inalienable rights. The measure would not only ban abortion, but contraception. Personhood Ohio hasn’t announced any plans to see to the caring of all the resultant births.
◾Personhood advocates there are scrambling to get enough signatures in order to get a personhood measure on this fall’s ballot. Their deadline is July 4. And lest we forget: last year, state legislatures attempted to get a fetus to testify in favor of a “heartbeat bill,” which. I can’t even.
NARAL Grade: F
 
Oklahoma:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (67-31, 3 vac.)     Senate: Repug. (32-16)
And then we come to “Okie home” (Hey, if you don’t like the stereotype, quit living up to it.)  The Oklahoma House of Representatives voted 94 to 2 to a ban on abortion’s later than 20 weeks of gestation similar to Nebraska’s in what it called the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.” Bill 1888 was signed into law in April 2011 by Republican governor Mary Fallin, who signed every anti-abortion bill that came to her desk in 2011. Oklahoma became the third state “to restrict abortions on the basis of fetal pain” (joining Kansas and Nebraska) reported the Oklahoman at the time.
◾O Oklahoma: an Oklahoma House committee (Republican, of course) has passed a personhood bill (of course), SB-1433, introduced on January 18, 2012. The bill, co-authored by Rep. Lisa Billy (R-Lindsay) would grant “personhood” status to human embryos, asserting: “The life of each human being begins at conception” and that “unborn children have protectable interests in life, health, and well-being.” On April 19, 2012, Speaker Kris Steele’s office announced that the bill will not come up for a vote. According to Sarah Morice-Brubaker at ReligionDispatches, SB 1433 died under the weight of amendments even “pro-lifers” couldn’t live with. According to the speaker’s office, Oklahoma has already “passed at least 30 various pro-life measures in the past eight years alone.”
◾In Oklahoma, eggs are about to become people. The bill (HJR- 1067) introduced on January 12, 2012, bears a resemblance to the recently rejected Mississippi law (see Measure 26 above, this category). Republican Rep. Mike Reynolds, the author of the bill, says it won’t apply to miscarriages or to cases where the mother’s life is threatened, but no exceptions are made for rape or incest (though he claims there are), and it would ban birth control and in vitro that “kills a person.” If approved by the legislature, the bill will appear on the ballot in November. The legislature convenes on February 6. Oklahoma requires only a simple majority in both House and Senate. Update: The Oklahoma Supreme Court has said “Oh no you don’t” by ruling that the proposed amendment violates a 1992 U.S. Supreme Court decision and “is clearly unconstitutional.”
◾Yes, you read that correctly. And no, there are no human fetuses in food. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have laws against them being there – if you’re a Republican, that is. The Associated Press reports that Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey, infamous for authoring failed bills, has proposed a bill “that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food, despite conceding that he’s unaware of any company using such a practice,” and even Republican Sen. Brian Crain, a self-professed “pro-lifer” and the chairman of the Senate Human Services Committee says, “I’d hate to think we’re going to spend our time coming up with possibilities of things we need to stop.” The FDA, of course, says it is “not aware of this particular concern.” Ridiculous as it sounds, the bill does also outlaw stem cell research.
◾An effort to add a “personhood” initiative to this fall’s ballot was unanimously deemed unconstitutional by the State Supreme Court back in April. In March, a state district judge ruled that the state’s mandatory ultrasound law was unconstitutional because it singled out abortion from other medical procedures, but the State of Oklahoma will likely appeal this to the State Supreme Court. Other legislative attempts to control Oklahoma’s ovaries have stalled, or fallen flat.
NARAL Grade: F
 
Pennsylvania:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (111-91, 1 vac)     Senate: Repug. (30-20)
In Pennsylvania, The “Women’s Right to Know Act” House Bill 1077, which was authored by state Rep. Kathy Rapp (R), is being called even more restrictive than Virginia’s transvaginal ultrasound bill. Raw Story reports: “The bill faces a vote in the full Pennsylvania state house in mid-March, when the legislature is back in session. A petition at SignOn.org has collected nearly 15,000 signatures opposing the legislation.” In keeping with the Republican practice of trying to slip legislation past the public, no public hearing was held. The bill does offer exceptions for victims of rape and incest.
NARAL Grade: F
 
South Carolina:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (76-48)     Senate: Repug. (27-19)
There’s a 20-week abortion ban on the table here, and legislators are currently considering a bill that would make it illegal for insurance plans offered on Affordable Care Act “exchanges” to offer any sort of abortion coverage. The state Senate has also passed a bill barring private insurers from covering abortion. Woo
NARAL Grade: F
 
South Dakota:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (50-19, 1 Ind.)     Senate: Repug. (30-5)
◾A law under consideration in South Dakota would expand the definition of “justifiable homicide” to include killings that are intended to prevent harm to a fetus—a move that could make it legal to kill doctors who perform abortions. The Republican-backed legislation, House Bill 1171, has passed out of committee on a nine-to-three party-line vote, and is expected to face a floor vote in the state’s GOP-dominated House of Representatives soon.”The bill in South Dakota is an invitation to murder abortion providers.”The bill, sponsored by state Rep. Phil Jensen, a committed foe of abortion rights, alters the state’s legal definition of justifiable homicide by adding language stating that a homicide is permissible if committed by a person “while resisting an attempt to harm” that person’s unborn child or the unborn child of that person’s spouse, partner, parent, or child. If the bill passes, it could in theory allow a woman’s father, mother, son, daughter, or husband to kill anyone who tried to provide that woman an abortion—even if she wanted one.
◾South Dakota wants to require “spiritual” counseling (House Bill 1217) at religious centers before allowing an abortion to take place. The bill was signed into law in March 2011 and challenged in court by Planned Parenthood and the ACLU in May. We still haven’t heard what the courts will decide in this case (though a federal judge has suspended most of the law in the interim) and Republicans aren’t waiting to find out. The South Dakota House of Representatives approved a bill on February 13 sponsored by Rep. Roger Hunt, R-Brandon that changes counseling requirements. Women seeking abortions will still have to wait 72 hours and endure spiritual counseling but now requires those counselors be licensed. The consulting doctor will now have to decide if it is likely the woman will develop mental health problems as a result of the abortion. As a side note, in both 2006 and 2008 voters rejected attempts to outlaw most abortions.
◾Also in South Dakota, H.B. 1166, which was enacted in 2005, was, says RHRealityCheck.org, billed as an “informed consent law,” but what it really mandated was misinformation, requiring doctors “to tell a woman seeking an abortion that she faces an ‘increased risk of suicide ideation and suicide,’ a claim for which there is absolutely no scientific or medical evidence.” On September 2, 2011, “Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals threw out important provisions of a South Dakota law that literally forced doctors to lie to their patients.”
◾A newly enacted law here mandates that women receiving pre-abortion counseling be told that they’re at higher risk for future mental health issues, even though the study that linked abortion and mental health issues has been proven false. Gov. Dennis Daugaard has also signed a bill that will bar insurance available on the state’s exchanges from covering abortion care. South Dakota women seeking abortion care are also required to visit a “crisis pregnancy center” before receiving care. CPCs are often linked to religious and anti-abortion groups.
NARAL Grade: F
 
 
Texas:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (101-48, 1 vac.)     Senate: Repug. (19-12)
 

In Texas, Rep. George Lavender, R-Texarkana, has proposed a bill (House Bill 2988) that would prevent any abortion except in cases of rape, incest or the life of the mother.
◾The Texas State House of Representatives has passed the Sonogram Bill (HB 15), a measure requiring women to get a sonogram before ending a pregnancy, forcing even victims of rape to have a sonogram at least 24 hours before the procedure. Gov. Rick Perry has signed the bill into law, which takes effect September 1, 2011. There are exceptions in cases of rape and incest. As Planned Parenthood reports: “While a woman can opt-out of seeing the sonogram image and hearing the heart tone, she cannot opt-out of a medically unnecessary sonogram, nor can she opt-out of the fetal description except within very narrow parameters for situations of rape, incest, judicial bypasses, and fetal anomalies.”
◾Also from Texas, the passage of SB 257, passed by House and Senate on May 5, 2011 and signed by the governor on May 17, 2011 provides for “Choose Life” license plates. As explained by Planned Parenthood: “The state will now produce “Choose Life” license plates and distribute revenue from the sale of the plates to anti-choice groups such as crisis pregnancy centers (CPC). The “Alternative to Abortion” program currently receives $4 million dollars a year in taxpayer money through the Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) that is distributed to CPCs. CPC are unregulated anti-choice organizations that do not provide any medical services and are known to spend nearly half of the tax dollars they receive on advertising and administrative costs, not client services.”
◾In February, a conservative judge allowed a law requiring a 24-hour waiting period and a mandatory ultrasound to go into effect. A doctor is also required to describe to the woman the image on the ultrasound screen. Because ladies are too stupid to know what a pregnancy is!
NARAL Grade: F
 
Utah:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (58-17)     Senate: Repug. (22-7)
Utah was all set to jump on board the vaginal ultrasound bandwagon but as the Spokesman reports, “Idaho Senate Assistant Majority Leader Chuck Winder, R-Meridian, said the original version of his [mandatory ultrasound] bill specifically mentioned that procedure, but he removed it. ‘It didn’t require it, but in my opinion it was confusing … so we took it out,’ Winder said.” However, the Idaho Statesman reports: “But Sara Kiesler, a spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood Votes Northwest, said the measure would still require transvaginal exams, though the explicit reference to the procedure has been excised.” The revised draft will leave it up to the patient and doctor “whether to employ an abdominal or transvaginal sonogram to the patient and her provider.” Says Winder: “That’ll be up to the physician and the patient as to what they want to do,” admitting the invasive procedure “went too far.”
This week, 72 hour waiting period law went into effect. Previously, Utah women seeking abortions had to wait 24 hours between having an ultrasound and having a medical procedure.
SLC is the most religious city in the country.
NARAL Grade: F
 
Virginia:
Governor: Repug.     House: Repug. (67-32, 1Ind.)     Senate: Repug. (20-19, 1 vac.)
In Virginia, RH Reality Check reports that “Governor Bob McDonnell found time to issue regulations for first trimester abortion providers that go well beyond any existing regulations seen in other states, including South Carolina, according to the Virginia Coalition to Protect Women’s Health.” Apparently, these “draft” regulations ” (SB 924) were formulated under an emergency process that bypasses public review and comment periods and standard economic assessments for new regulations and is undemocratic on its face.” They will be put into effect up to 18 months to 2 years in advance of any permanent regulations. In a blatant attempt to eliminate first trimester abortions, reports RH Reality Check, the regulations “contain what can only be called ridiculous mandates for abortion providers, such as requiring specific sizes of rooms and lengths of hallways which have nothing to do with either patient care or safety.” See also the article in Mother Jones about how these new rules would affect the Falls Church Planned Parenthood Clinic.
In Virginia, State Del. C Todd Gilbert (R-Woodstock) described abortion as nothing more than a “lifestyle convenience” for women during a debate in support of a bill (SB 484) that would require women to receive trans-vaginal ultrasounds before obtaining an abortion. The patient will be shown not only an image of the fetus but the audio of its heartbeat. The Virginia House of Delegates passed the bill, making Virginia the seventh state to require such ultrasounds. Texas and Iowa are also considering such measures. A recent development is the sudden oppositionby Governor Bob McDonnell to the trans-vaginal ultrasound provision. The bill now mandates external ultrasound. The bill will now go back to the Senate.
The state’s “personhood” law was defeated in February, but Republican Governor Bob McDonnell, who is not a doctor or a woman, signed into law a measure requiring a 24-hour waiting period and mandating that a woman receive an ultrasound before having an abortion. Silver lining, though, ladies — she can choose not to have one of those “trans-v” wands shoved into her vagina, if she wants.
NARAL Grade: F
Did you notice that every one of these 18 states has a Repuglican Governor and Repuglican control of both houses. (That’s why it’s called “The Repuglican War on Women”!)
 

 
The Republican blitz to shut down abortion-providing clinics is a national story

By Will Femia
 -
Thu Jul 11, 2013 1:47 AM EDT

28


The various state-level Republican battles in the national Republican war on women are typically regarded individually. Even among activists, the focus is on discrete instances: individual bills like Wisconsin’s recent #SB206, a spotlighted state like #StandwithTXwomen, or distinctive local features, like today’s #MotorcycleVagina from North Carolina.
But taken collectively, the national significance of state-level Republican anti-abortion legislative activism is clear. Where American women nationally voted overwhelmingly (55% to 44%, with the largest gender gap in Gallup poll history) against the Republican candidate who said he would be “delighted” to sign a federal abortion ban into law, what American women in Republican controlled states are actually getting since the 2012 election is a drastic dismantling of their reproductive rights.
Click for larger version
Video: State GOP war on women undermines national American will
 

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
 
Scurge: Like being the scum of the earth, when there is nothing worse than you. (No, the tea potty is not a good example. There are actually a couple of things in the world that are worse.)
Scourge: A cause of affliction or calamity. (This is where the tea potty is a good example.)
Socialism: A system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.(And one more definition, just for balance)
Plutocracy: Government by the wealthy.  (Coming soon to a Grouchy post near you.)In doing research for the tea potty series, I ran into their use of the term “socialism” a hell of a lot.
At first I wondered which type of socialism they were referring to. A lot of them seem to associate Nazism with Socialism. That’s probably because the official title for Hitler’s political movement was the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei aka National Socialist German Workers’ Party. (By the same reasoning, The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is a democratic republic.) The Nazis were fascists. There’s a huge difference.
Of course, a lot of baggers seem to think that socialism is communism. (Well, after all, there was The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics aka Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик.) To be fair, I’ll give them a half point on this one. Communism is socialism gone to extremes and then perverted. (Much like evangelicals are Christians gone to extremes and then perverted.)
I didn’t notice too many baggers railing against market socialism. (That’s the type practiced in the People’s Republic of China aka 中国.)
There were, however, a large number that railed against European socialism i.e. democratic socialism.
I finally came to the conclusion that most baggers were too damned ignorant to accurately define socialism if their lives depended on it.
All this socialist name calling did get me a bit curious, so I decided to check a few things out.
In looking around the world, the viable model for modern socialism is most likely democratic socialism. Market socialism will only last as long as the current Chinese regime lasts. And, to be honest, I give it six months to 20 years at the longest. (For various reasons, probably more like 8 -15 years.)
The most reliably democratic socialist countries are Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden. And, just for good measure, I’ll throw in our northern neighbor. (After all, they have socialized medicine among other left-wing maladies.) So, let’s take a look at the horrors of socialism that baggers dread so much:
All of these countries have a major public safety net that includes universal health care and pensions for retired citizens. As a result, Iceland has a below poverty line rate of 1.2%. Norway has a rate of 4.3%. Finland’s rate is 6.3% and Canada has  9.4%. The U.S. has 15.1% living below the poverty line.
The workers have greater input due to much higher union membership. Sweden has 82% and leads the world in percentage of union membership. Denmark and Finland are tied for 2nd place with 76% In 4th place, Norway has 57%. Canada comes in at 9th with 30%. The U.S. is down at #17 with 11.9%.
This is reflected in the ratio between income levels of the top 10% and the bottom 10%: Finland 5.6; Norway 6.1; Sweden 6.2; Denmark 8.1; Canada 9.4; U.S. 15.9.
Sure you damned facist, commie, socio….whatever. With wealth confiscation and tight government control of the economy you kill all incentive to succeed.
Despite what the baggers believe, every one of these countries have free trade economies. They also have little product market regulation. (There goes another right-wing myth.)
To top it off, the level of perception of government corruption is among the lowest in the world: Denmark is #2; Finland is #3; Sweden is #4; Norway is #6; Canada is #10; Iceland is #13 and the U.S. is #24.
Ok, but what about taxes, Taxes, TAXES. These poor people are taxed to death!
Yes, taxes are high in these countries. Overall tax burdens as a percentage of GDP are among the world’s highest. Denmark has an “out-of-pocket” rate of 48.2%; Sweden’s is 46.4%; Finland is 43.1%; Iceland’s is 41.4%; Norway’s is 41.0%; Canada is 31.1% and the U.S. pays 24.0%.
HOWEVER, in a twist of the old adage, “You pay for what you get.”: If you factor in health costs alone, that 24% “out-of-pocket” we pay jumps to 38.5%. (We pay more for health care than any country in the world. But, in health care results, we’re only #37.) Then, if you factor in the other benefits those countries provide (pensions that make S.S. look chintzy; free education including books, from primary up to post-graduate studies, etc.) our “out-of-pocket” rate jumps a hell of a lot higher.
Hey fella, Forget about that cheap education shit. We’ve got the best educational system in the world. Those puny countries just can’t compete with us.
Sorry, at the risk of boring you with more stats, we get our ass handed to us by these “puny” countries. For instance, Finland is #1 in math, #1 in science & #2 in reading. We’re #27, #22 and #33 respectively. For the rest of the scores, check out the above link.
And finally, I wondered how all this affected the citizens of the democratic socialist countries. 24/7 Wall St (not exactly a liberal or socialist organization) did a study of the happiest countries in the world. Five of these countries: Denmark (#1), Canada (#2), Norway (#3), Sweden (#6) and Finland (#8) made the to 10. The U.S. didn’t make the cut.
Ok, I get the picture. You just want to make this country look bad.
No, I just let the numbers speak for themselves. Actually, I was completely surprised when I started researching. And yes, we are #1 in some areas. The U.S. does lead the world in military spending, arms shipments to unstable countries, prison occupation and the previously mentioned health care costs. There are a lot more world rankings on sites like this one, but this post is rather stat-heavy as it is.
So, we should all turn into damned socialists? Is that it bunkie?
Not necessarily. This is not a one size fits all world. Or even a one size fits all country. However there is a lot to be admired in the way the Nordic countries pull it off. And, there’s more than one thing worth copying, such as single payer universal health, and free education as far as it can take you.
Of course, the “stupid states” would probably try to secede from the U.S.. And, this time it might be better to let them go. They’ve been trying to drag us down to their level far too long.
In the mean time, don’t worry baggers. For those of you that are still frightened to death by the merest whiff of socialism, I have help for you. It’s even in comic strip form, so hopefully your lazy minds can grasp it.Grouchy
 
 

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
( Pt. 1: THE EARLY YEARS)

 (As per usual with these posts, stupidity gets every iota of respect it deserves: Not a damn bit! So, if you think I’m being disrespectful to your beliefs, lower the stupidity quotient of your beliefs.)
 WHY AMERICA DRINKS COFFEE
To really understand the context of the “baggers”, we must begin before the beginning. To update Shakespeare: “A teabagger by any other pseudonym would emit a fragrance just as potently odiferous”! And, they’ve had a lot of different pseudonyms throughout American history.
If we were talking about the American conservative movement as a whole, we’d probably begin with the “American Loyalists” in the Revolutionary War. (Btw, they were “loyal” to old King George and the British Crown, not the revolution.) And, probably not coincidentally, were in far greater numbers in the southern colonies.
If we were talking about the right-wing wackos of the “Religious Wrong”, hell, we’d have to go back to the Puritans. They came over to escape religious persecution. Of course, as soon as they were in charge, they were just as bad as their former persecutors. (if you pay attention to history or even current events, you’ll notice that happens a lot!) The “Religious Wrong” screams for a separate post, and believe me, it’s going to get it.
But, we’re talking about the secular wing-nuts (admittedly with a great deal of cross-over), whose current main theme purports to be anti-tax (with more than a bit of racial and religious bigotry thrown in for spice). For this, let’s start with the seminal event in baggers’ imaginary lives. (I mean other than the election of that Commie – Islamic – Socialist – Nazi – African -Terrorist Loving – N…r – Asshole as President):
The one, the only, the original, never-to-be-forgotten, never-to-be-duplicated: (drum roll please)…………
!!!!BOSTON TEA PARTY!!!!
We’ve all heard the tale of the “tax-oppressed” citizens of Boston who finally had enough and struck a mighty blow for freedom by treating the sea life of Boston Harbor to some refreshing Earl Grey. (Actually, it was probably mostly Bohea.) It makes for a nice tale for 2nd graders and 2nd grade minds.
Problem is, there’s a lot of facts, but not a lot of truth in the story.
Oh sure, on the night of December 16, 1773, a group of men (nobody really knows how many) dressed as Indians (Mohawks, to be exact) and Negroes (in blackface?), boarded three ships and dumped their cargo of tea worth $18,000 ($502,000 with inflation) into the harbor.However, they weren’t “striking a mighty blow for freedom”, they were “striking a mighty blow for smuggling profits”.
Le’ me ‘splain.
Back in the 1770′s, the British East India Company had problems. Due to gross mismanagement, the company had too much of one thing (tea) and too little of another (money). If they’d have gone under, it would have hit a lot of the ruling class where it hurts the most (their wallets).
This couldn’t have come at a worse time. The BEIC was beginning to monopolize the opium trade and the profit potential was huge.Therefore, in 1773, Parliament decided the BEIC was “too big to fail” (sound familiar?) and decided to bail them out. They did this by dropping the duty on tea entering England and allowing BEIC to be its own exporter to the colonies, eliminating any middlemen. This combination allowed BEIC to sell their tea to the colonies cheaper than the tea being smuggled in from the Dutch.
Yes, the 3 pence (2 cent) a pound tea tax (which was used to pay the salaries of colonial governors and judges) was still in place, although it had been lowered 60%. Even with the tax, legally imported tea would be cheaper than the smuggled stuff which had been enjoying a 75 – 90% market share. (And Steve Jobs & Bill Gates weren’t even born yet.)
This didn’t set too well with John Hancock (he of the flamboyant autograph) and the rest of the tea smuggling “patriots”. But, since they couldn’t lead a revolt against lower prices, they tried a different tactic.
Despite baggers’ day dreams, they didn’t attack the tax aspect, they attacked BEIC as being an illegal monopoly. (Funny how big business doesn’t seem to bother baggers these days.) They also attacked the British government for being on the side of British business interests instead of on the side of colonial business interests. Samuel Elliot Morrison: Oxford History of the American People, p 203
It worked! (Republican spin-doctors would be so proud!) By the time the tea bearing ships arrived in Boston, the local taverns were ablaze with anti-British tea sentiment.
After that, it was a simple matter to set up a “convention” at the Old South Meeting House; make some unlawful demands on the Governor, which he refused (surprise, surprise); and then instantly (were they already wearing their costumes underneath?) rush out and storm the ships.
Yes, I know “Taxation without representation” was one of a number of rallying cries of the revolution, but it was really a lot more about representation rather than taxation. As far as taxation goes, the people in the colonies were paying a lot less than those back in England.
In the grand scheme of things, the price of tea in Boston wasn’t a real biggie, unless you were in the tea smuggling business.
In the end the !!!!BOSTON TEA PARTY!!!! had two major consequences:
◾It pissed old John Bull off! (That’s England, for you history slackers.) And, of course, Mr. Bull overreacted and passed the “Intolerable Acts“, greasing the war-bound skids.
◾The other consequence was a bit more ironic. After the party, it became unpatriotic to drink tea. (There went the smuggling profits.) In fact, tea drinking has never really recovered since. Nowadays, we mostly get our go-juice from a little red bean instead of a little green leaf.
“PASS ME THE SHOOTIN’ IRON, MA! THE REVENUERS ARE A COMMIN“!
We’ll continue with the 1st major crisis facing the young country; the “Whiskey Rebellion” of 1791-94. This is also known as “The Birth of the Bootleggers” according to Billy Ray Cyrus. History Channel: “Hillbilly – The Real Story”. (Of course, this is the man who gave us “Achy Breaky Heart” and Miley, so you might want to use your own judgement on that one.)
In 1790, the U.S. was one year old, and $75,000,000 in debt. (About $1,850,000,000 in today’s money.) Alex Hamilton had squeezed out about all the money he could from import duties, but needed MORE!
Thus was born the 1st domestic sin tax (excuse me – excise tax): The Distilled Spirits Tax of 1791 (aka “The Whiskey Tax”).
To be fair, it was an unfair tax. It hit the poor (the beginning of a long, long trend) frontier farmers hard, while leaving the rich eastern property owners pretty much immune. (The beginning of another long, long trend.)
I won’t go into details (you could look it up) but the rebellion included rioting, tar & feathering tax collectors (a fun activity in any era), house burnings and mail robbery. (I’m not sure if there was any “rail riding”, but it was fashionable at the time.)
In the end, the government won of course. Several hundred were arrested on various offenses; 24 men were indicted for high treason; 10 stood trial and two were convicted.
Not to worry. President Washington granted pardons and amnesties all around.
Despite the government victory, the tax itself was still almost totally uncollectable. In 1800, Tom Jefferson’s Republican Party (no relation) bested the Federalists and the tax was rescinded in 1802.
In retrospect, the Whiskey Rebellion would have been a better “seminal event” for the baggers, but then they’d call themselves “The Whiskey Party” (and probably have a lot more members).

 
pssst.
If you wanna make your own “shine”, follow this link.
Tell ‘em Joe-Bob sent you.
 
 
 
 
There wasn’t much of an anti-tax movement again until late in the 19th century. However there were a few pro-bigotry movements to take up the slack.
I KNOW NOTHING…….NOTHING!
Charging ahead to 1843, we stumble over the American Republican Party (aka in various times and places as the Native American Party or just plain American Party.) Most people refer to them as the “Know Nothing Movement”. While not it’s original intent, the tag pretty much sums them up.This one may belong more to the “Religious Wrong” post, because it was more religious (anti-Catholic) than secular in nature. However, it was wrapped up as an anti-immigration movement. (The immigrants that they were anti to were Irish and German Catholics.) And, it sure fits the bigotry side of this post.
From the 1830′s to the 60′s there was an influx of Catholic immigrants, primarily from Ireland and Germany. The Germans were trying to escape religious persecution back home and the Irish were just looking for something to eat. (Irish Potato Famine)
These immigrants offended the “Real Americans” (Protestants of English/Scottish decent) and by cracky, they weren’t going to stand for it.
So began the first official anti-immigrant movement in the U.S., although far from the last.(You know, if you think about it, the only people who ever had a really rational reason for being anti-immigrant were Native Americans (1st Nations) in the 15 to 1700′s)
At their peak (1854), Movement members were elected Mayors of Philadelphia, Washington D.C. and San Francisco. They carried Boston and several other New England towns and cities; swept the Massachusetts elections and won the Governor’s race in California. (The California contingent added another group to be anti to: the Chinese.)
One of the Movement’s catch phrases was “Keep America, American”. This same catch phrase was later used by the KKK in the 1920′s and by Mitt Romney in his 2012 Presidential Campaign.
Not satisfied with electoral gains, some members decided to add a little “action” to their agenda:In 1851, They tarred and feathered a priest in Ellsworth, Maine.                                            In 1854, they burned down a church in Bath, Maine.                                                            In 1855, they rioted in Louisville, Kentucky, destroying property, killing 22 Catholics and injuring many more in the process.
In 1856, now called the American Party, they ran Millard Filmore for President.

 
Millly had already been President from 1850 until 1853. His own party (Whig) had passed him up for re-election in favor of Winfield Scott. By 1856, the Whigs were gone and Fillmore had jumped to the American Party.
The party platform was pretty simple:                      Limit Catholic immigration;                                       Restrict political office to English and Scottish Protestants;                                                             Teachers must be Protestant;                                  21 year wait for citizenship;                                      Daily bible readings in public schools;                      Restricting liquor sales;                                            English usage only.
(Some of these planks sound kinda familiar. I guess some people never grow up.)
Milly got 23% of the vote & only carried Maryland.
By 1860, they were pretty much out as a political force, primarily torn apart over slavery (As was the rest of the country.)
And, that wraps it up for this episode!
This is going to be one of those multi-parters. My best guess at this time is that it’s probably going to be a four-poster. The history of the U.S. is replete with loonies and there’s so much fun stuff to write about. After all, baggers are just the latest branch off the nut tree and I’m still working my way up the trunk.

 
And, for those of you who think I’m tarring baggers by connecting them to your garden variety American racists and bigots, I’ll leave you with this:
 
 
Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
 
 (A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(Pt. 10 CLOWNS & COMMODIANS (And that’s not a misspelling) cont.)

 
Christine O’Donnell
Christine O’Donnell – gotta love her! Cute as a three-day old bunny and half as bright. And, she’s funnier than a busted condom.
She’s not afraid to take a stand on such vital American issues as porn: “When a married person uses pornography, or is unfaithful, it compromises not just his (or her) purity, but also compromises the spouse’s purity. As a church, we need to teach a higher standard than abstinence. We need to preach a righteous lifestyle“.
and masturbation: “The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can’t masturbate without lust.”  She’s also said that it was a “misconception that you, quote unquote, can’t legislate morality.” (Interestingly, that’s the exact same position that the Taliban takes.)
She also has the distinction of being the only U.S. politician that has ever denied being a witch.


Of course, nobody has ever asked Ms Brewer or Ms Bachmann. (And they should.)
 
Bill O’Reilly
“Billo the Clown” as Keith calls him.
Believe it or not, I used to work with this jerk. Of course, that’s before Bill became “BILL“. He was an anchor at a Portland TV station, and in fairness, he read the teleprompter quite well.
That’s all that most TV anchors are – news readers. They really don’t get out in the field and practice their craft too awful much. There’s a tiny bit more on this subject in my post “There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story” (Shameless plug #103,872,583)
You’ll recall that back in “The Tea Potty (pt.8)” (Shameless plug #103,872,584) I mentioned that Roger Ailes had learned his lesson about hiring journalists with integrity. Billo’s living proof of that.
He will push whatever Fox’s talking points are on any specific day. If gas prices go up under George “Duh”, then the president has absolutely no control over prices at the pump. If Obama’s president when it happens, It’s all Obama’s fault!
He lies. Then when he’s caught in the lie, he says he never said it. On May 19th, 2000 he said “We won Peabody awards!” He was referring to the TV tabloid “Inside Edition”, the program he anchored before Fox. When Al Franken pointed out that Inside Edition never won a Peabody, (It won the lesser Polk Award, and that was after he left.) Billo said “Guy says about me, couple of weeks ago, ‘O’Reilly said he won a Peabody Award.’ Never said it. You can’t find a transcript where I said it.”
He considers himself somewhat of a historian, but he’s not actually very good at history. His book on Lincoln is a good example There were multiple errors in it, including several references to the Oval Office which didn’t exist back then. The National Park Service refused to sell it at Ford’s Theater because of the inaccuracies.
I don’t think science is Billo’s strongest subject either. He probably never studied it at all or he went to school in Alabama. (or Arkansas…or Georgia…or Kansas…or Kentucky…or South Carolina.)
“I’ll tell you why [religion is] not a scam, in my opinion. “Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the tide goes in.”
“Okay, how’d the moon get there? Look, you pinheads who attacked me for this, you guys are just desperate. How’d the moon get there? How’d the sun get there? How’d it get there? Can you explain that to me? How come we have that and Mars doesn’t have it? Venus doesn’t have it. How come? Why not? How’d it get here? How did that little amoeba get here, crawl out there? How’d it do it?“
 
Sarah Palin
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce a lady who needs no introduction. She’s the 2008 Republican candidate for Vice President of the United States, the 1/2 Governor of Alaska, the all-time tea potty fave-o-right and, lest we forget, the winner of the 1984 Miss Wasilla Beauty Pageant: Ms Sarah Palin!  (Too bad about that habitual eye twitch condition. Kind of screws up her face funny)
Of course she has other claims to fame as well:
◾She’s a brilliant historian. She alone figured out that Paul Revere was actually trying to warn the British, despite whatever that Longfellow guy wrote. (June 12, 2011);
◾She has in-depth knowledge of the diplomatic world. For example, she knows about our secret pact with our North Korean allies. (Nov. 24, 2010);
◾She’s no slouch in the geography department either. “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.” (Oct. 5, 2008)
◾She’s the former star of her own reality show: “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”. (The show bombed, but not to worry, we still have Tina Fey.)
◾She’s a humanitarian! (Or is that a turkeyitarian?) She pardoned a turkey for Thanksgiving while other turkeys were being slaughtered right behind her. (Nov. 20, 2008);
◾But she can hunt down food for the table with the best of them.
◾She also loves hunting just for the sport of it, especially hunting wolves with a machine gun from a helicopter,
◾Need I add that she’s a valued member of the N.R.A.
◾And, to top it off, she looks great photoshopped into a bikini holding a rifle.
◾She’s a prime example of “You don’t vet, you don’t get”. (Otherwise known in political circles as “The Palin Effect”.)
In 2008, a seemingly semi-intelligent John McCain chose her over Willard as his running mate. (Which says loads about Willard.) Immediately every Republican male snapped to attention. (Or at least, a part of him did.)
At the convention, she proved that she is a good speaker. (Studying communications in all those schools helped out.) On the campaign trail she was great in stirring up the base, telling them exactly what they wanted to hear. The rest of the country however, started listening to what she was saying and came to a different conclusion. She was definitely “Not Ready for Prime Time.”
 
Rick Perry
Between George “Duh” and the Rickster, Texas pols are getting a reputation for being downright D-U-M-B! I mean, this man makes Sister Sarah seem semi smart.
Now, I do grant him a little slack here because he’s never had to run a race in which he actually had to know anything to get elected. This was his first time running outside of Texas, for crap sakes.
In Texas you can stir up the baggers (a sizable % of the population) by suggesting Texas could secede from the U.S. Or by calling the Chairman of the Federal Reserve a traitor. (Come to think of it, that works with the Repub Primary crowd just as well.) But, if you’re in a debate with six or seven other candidates (three or four of which might actually have IQ’s over 85), you need to get your shit together. At the very least, if you want to eliminate three departments, you should probably know their names.

The Rickster’s campaign was of the shooting star variety: Bright at first, but rapidly burning out and falling. In the end, he went back to Texas, which probably deserves him.Not to fear, the Rickster has a post-political future. Like Herman “have you seen my salami” Cain, he’s a natural born comedian. Check out the video below and you’ll see what I mean. It’s long, but it’s hilarious.

 
Rick Santorum
Rick Santorum – on a mission from god! (At least that’s what the voices told him.)
Yup, Saint Orum is another one of those politicians that say “god told me to run”. Of course, Michelle, Herman and the Rickster also said the same thing. And, as you might have noticed, they all lost. That proves that either god has a sadistic sense of humor or they’re all liars. (Personally, my money’s on door #2.) Now, Willard has never said that god told him to run, but then again, Willard is pretty secretive about everything.
Have you noticed that all the “god candidates” seem to be Republican. I may have missed it, but I don’t recall any Dems making those claims. (I guess god only talks to those who twist and distort his teachings for their own benefit. See door #1)
One thing you do have to say about Saint Orum – he has convictions and he sticks to them. I’d respect the shit out of that if some of those convictions  weren’t so “14th century” and/or damn scary.
What are some of those convictions? Here they are, straight from the horse’s mouth: (The nether one.)
◾“One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country” – Interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com (October 2011)
◾“Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.” –  On JFK’s 1960 speech about the importance of separation of church and state (October 2011)
◾“[Gay marriage] is an issue just like 9-11.” – Interview with the Allentown Morning Call (February 2004)
◾ “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical. And that is what the perception is by the American Left who hates Christendom.” – Campaigning for president in South Carolina (February 2011)
◾“If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” – AP interview (April 2003)
◾“If you haven’t cursed out a New York Times reporter during the presidential campaign, you aren’t a real Republican.” – Fox & Friends (March 2012)
◾
“I do have concerns about women in frontline combat. I think that can be a very compromising situation, where people naturally may do things that may not be in the interests of the mission because of other types of emotions that are involved… it’s probably not in the best interests of men, women or the mission.” – John King USA (February 2012)

◾
“It’s about some phony ideal, some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible, a different theology, but no less a theology.” – Talking about the president’s agenda at the Ohio Christian Alliance event  (February 2012)

◾
“President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob … Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image.” – speaking to a Tea Party group in Michigan (February 2012)

You might have noticed that I didn’t insert any snarky comments. Didn’t need to. That would be gilding the lily.
Btw, “gilding the lily” has  a Shakespearian origin:                                               “Therefore, to be possess’d with double pomp,
 To guard a title that was rich before,
 To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
 To throw a perfume on the violet,
 To smooth the ice, or add another hue
 Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light
 To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish,
 Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.” King John (1595) (Who says my posts aren’t educational?)
Finally, I’m not going to sink to the level of suggesting that you google “santorum”. Even I have some standards. (Granted, damn few, but some.) All I’ll say about that is that he got into some verbal fisticuffs and had his ass handed to him by a gay guy. (Sorry ’bout the visual image that conjures up. Well… actually, not really.)
 
Orly Taitz
Orly Taitz, the “birther queen” is a woman who gives Glenn Beck a run for his money in the stupid conspiracies department. Even Billo the clown calls her a nut. (And, he knows nuts. And fruitcakes too, for that matter.)
According to Orly, Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the U.S. and is ineligible to be President. In her fantasy world, he was born in Kenya.
She has other misgivings as well: “I am extremely concerned about Obama specifically because I was born in Soviet Union, so I can tell that he is extremely dangerous. I believe he is the most dangerous thing one can imagine, in that he represents radical communism and radical Islam: He was born and raised in radical Islam, all of his associations are with radical Islam, and he was groomed in the environment of the dirty Chicago mafia. Can there be anything scarier than that?”
Ooooh Kay! Let’s take a look at that statement, joke by joke:
◾“…I was born in Soviet Union, so I can tell that he is extremely dangerous”. (Well, I can understand that being born there could make you a bit paranoid, and she obviously is. But, because of that, to automatically know that someone you’ve never even met and obviously know damn little about, is dangerous? I think that’s pushing it just a bit.)
◾“…he is the most dangerous thing one can imagine” (Hmmm.  Actually I can think of two or three more dangerous things, and according to baggers, I have a non-functioning brain.)
◾“…he represents radical communism and radical Islam” (I’m trying to remember the last time radical communism and radical Islam wanted to do anything together, other than kill each other. Hell, I’m trying to remember the first time! Their world views are a tad on the conflicting side.)
◾“He was born and raised in radical Islam…” (In our world, Kenya is a presidential democratic republic with a population that is 47.7% protestant, 23.5% Roman Catholic, 11.2% Muslim, 1.7% indigenous beliefs and 2.4% irreligious. I’m not sure what the mix is on Planet Orly.)
◾“…all of his associations are with radical Islam…” (I’m not quite sure what she means by that, but she probably isn’t either. Does she mean Rev. Wright, Occidental College, Columbia, Harvard, the University of Chicago Law School, the Illinois State Senate and the U.S. Senate? Inquiring minds want to know!)
◾“…he was groomed in the environment of the dirty Chicago mafia” (That statement could cover just about everybody that lives in Chicago. Are they all creatures of the mafia?)
◾“Can there be anything scarier than that?” (Yes there can. People who actually believe this drivel.)
Taitz has made other Obama-related claims, including:
◾All of Obama’s gay lovers from his former church have been rubbed out, Chicago-style. (She didn’t want to accuse Obama of doing it, “But those are the facts!“)
◾Obama has dozens of Social Security numbers (Gee, I only have the standard nine.)
◾Taitz claims that a person who was cooperating with the FBI in connection with Obama’s inaccurate passport was “shot in the head”. (Has she ever identified him or provided any proof of that? I don’t think so.)
◾A Kenyan birth certificate with the name Barack Obama is authentic. (There have been a couple of them so far and they’ve been proven forgeries within 24 hours of their release.)
◾(Meanwhile, back on Planet Orly): The first thing Obama did as President was to donate money to Hamas so they could build some more Qassam rockets.
◾(And, while we’re still visiting):Obama’s FEMA is building internment camps for “Anti-Obama dissidents”. (Well, that solves their “bagger problem”.)
◾Osama bin Laden was killed years ago, with his body kept on ice. (I guess “Bush League” just forgot to tell us.) It was kept secret so Obama could divert attention from a court case {Taitz v Dunn} she litigated challenging Obama’s citizenship. She not only lost that case, The court observed that:
1.“Taitz failed to comply with the rules regarding proper service of opposition pleadings”
2.“Taitz failed to comply with the mandatory requirements outlined in the statutory scheme for bringing a timely election contest”
3.“Taitz’s complaint failed to comply with most basic rules regarding the format of contest statements”
This was by far not the only Obama related case she lost. She’s lost cases time after time after time after time. She’s lost in D.C., CA, HI, NH, GA, IN, and MS.
In fact, out of 148 cases filed by Orly and other birther bozos, they’ve already lost 138 of them with 10 pending. They took 70 of those cases to Appellate Court and lost all 70. And, they dragged 22 cases clear up to the Supreme Court. Care to guess how many they lost there? 22Btw, Orly got her law degree at Taft Law School. The State Bar of California Committee of Bar Examiners has registered Taft Law School as an unaccredited correspondence law school.
Taitz has also supported a number of other theories not directly related to Obama, including:
◾Goldman Sachs runs the United States Treasury. (I hate to admit it, but she could be right on that one.)
◾Representative Alcee Hastings and the House of Representatives are planning to build at least six labor camps. (Hey, I thought that was FEMA’s job.)
◾Hugo Chávez (of Venezuela fame) owns the software that runs American voting machines,

 
Allen West
Meet the ghost of Joe McCarthy. (Admittedly, a ghost with a very dark tan.)
Like McCarthy, West seems to see communists everywhere he looks. (And, like McCarthy, he doesn’t have one iota of proof for his accusations,)
For instance, there’s his take on congressional Democrats: “I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party that are members of the Communist Party”

Since this is the 21st century and communists aren’t quite the boogie men they were in the ’50′s, he’s updated to include Muslims: “We already have a 5th column that is already infiltrating into our colleges, into our universities, into our high schools, into our religious aspect, our cultural aspect, our financial, our political systems in this country. And that enemy represents something called Islam and Islam is a totalitarian theocratic political ideology, it is not a religion. It has not been a religion since 622 AD, and we need to have individuals that stand up and say that.” (March 2010)
And, he contends they are influencing our “national strategy.

And, after all, religious coexistence “would give away our country“.
He compares Democrats to Joseph Goebbels‘ propaganda machine. (Funny, but I have the same opinion of Faux Noise)
Goebbels, lest we forget, was a practitioner of the big lie as laid down by uncle Adolf: “…that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie…” Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, vol. I, ch. X
For that matter, he’s not too fond of the 1st Amendment: He says we should be censoring American news agencies.
Meanwhile back to the Democrats: “Conversely, the Democratic appetite for ever-increasing redistributionary handouts is in fact the most insidious form of slavery remaining in the world today, and it does not promote economic freedom.”
But, not to worry. He also claims to be “the modern-day Harriet Tubman“.
His solution to the Democrat/liberal problem: “…get the hell out of the United States of America.”
Oh, and btw: “I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.”
It’s my opinion that his military service may have warped his viewpoint a bit. Allan was a “bottlecap colonel” (lt. colonel) in the Army with a career lasting 22 years.
However, his career came to a screeching halt due to an incident in which a prisoner was subjected to a beatdown under his supervision; and in which he threatened to kill the man, and in fact, fired a shot which just missed the prisoner’s head. Allen was charged with violating articles 128 (assault) and 134 (general article) of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The charges were ultimately referred to an Article 15 proceeding and West was fined $5,000.
(Or, all those mouth farts may be just some weird side effect of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.)

Ok, that wraps it up for this episode and the entire series. It’s been a lot longer than my original idea of a 4-parter and I’ve learned a hell of a lot along the way. (Some of which scares the shit out of me.)
Anyway, I hope you’ve been enlightened (and entertained) along the way. Comments, as always, are cherished.
Take care of yourselves. I need all the readers I can get.
Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
( Pt. 2: THE “KNIGHTS” IN COTTON ARMOR)
It’s 1865 in the South and this is not the best of all possible worlds.
The South has just lost the war BIG TIME!
Major cities are in ruin. Great swaths of farmland are out of commission. About $3,000,000,000 worth of slaves have been set free. (That’s $3 billion in Yankee money. The Confederate stuff is now worth less than it costs to print.)
And, the greatest calamity of all – the “White Power Structure” is severely threatened! Those damn Yankee liberals, (i.e. Republicans) have the outlandish idea that Negroes have rights, including the rights to vote as well as hold public office. (My how times have changed.)
In most rural counties throughout the South, and in states like Mississippi and South Carolina, slaves constituted the majority of the population at the start of the war. In Alabama, Florida, Georgia and Louisiana, they were almost the majority. U.S. Census, 1860, Population, pp 598-599
The “powers that were” had reason for their trepidation. As a result of all this, within a decade there would be over 600 African-American State Legislators (190 in South Carolina alone) as well as 15 Congressmen and a couple of Senators (both from Mississippi). E. Foner: Reconstruction: America’s Unfinished Revolution, 1863-1877 pp 354-5 (1988)

Bought & paid for politicians were common (Some things don’t change much.), but former slaves had a different take on “Bought & paid for” as well as on the White Power Structure. If they were going to sell out, it wasn’t going to be to their former masters, and their former masters knew it.
SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE!!!! And, it was!
 
The KuKlux Clan (That’s what it was originally called.) was born on the day before Christmas, 1865, in Pulaski, Tennessee, a bitty burg just north of the ‘bamma border. Walter J. Fleming: Ku Klux Klan: Its Origins, Growth and Disbandment p. 27, (1905)
If you notice the pic, that’s more or less how they were dressed in the 1st go round. The white sheets came later. Also, cross burnings didn’t happen until the 2nd time around.
 
 
—
Grand Wizzer Nathan Bedford Forrest

The founders were ex-Confederate soldiers: Captain John C. Lester, Captain John B. Kennedy, Major James R. Crowe, Private Frank O. McCord, Richard R. Reed, and Adjutant J. Calvin Jones.
By 1867, their titular leader was Grand Wizard Nathan Bedford Forrest, ex-Confederate General (and slave trader).
The Kuke’s were just one of several like-minded (That is, if you concede they had functioning minds.) groups sprouting up around the South. For instance, New Orleans had the “Southern Cross” and the “Knights of the White Camellia” operated throughout the deep south. But, the Klan either had better p.r. or bigger blabbermouths. (A lot of those yokels couldn’t even spell secrecy, let alone practice it.)
This was the 1st incarnation of the group. There have been two more. In fact, the 3rd incarnation is still around, but mostly out-slicked by more modern renditions of the same old song.
The 1st incarnation didn’t stick around too long, but it sure raised a hell of a lot of hell while it did!
The first priority was to kill and/or intimidate the ex-slave population. (Didn’t make no never mind to them whichever one worked as long as them damn niggers quit voting and “kept to their place”.)
The 2nd priority was to do the same thing to them damned Carpetbaggers & Scalawags. (i.e. Yankee judges, teachers, doctors and more than a few unscrupulous lawyers and politicians) (As opposed to the unscrupulous Southern judges, lawyers and politicians.)
The Kukes were quite good at it, all dressed up in their pretty robes and pointy little hoods. (Or was it the heads underneath that were pointy?) Over 2000 ex-slaves were killed or injured in Louisiana alone. Several counties throughout the south had deaths running in the hundreds.
It worked! Over the next several years, Black voting pretty much evaporated.
In a few years, however, the Klan began to wear out its welcome. Several southern states started passing anti-Klan laws. In 1870, a federal grand jury declared the Klan to be a terrorist organization. In 1871, President Grant sent Federal troops after them. Several hundred Klansmen were captured, tried in federal court and convicted.
The Klan began falling apart all over the South. Members either fled, dropped into the background or joined one of the groups such as the White League or the Red Shirts that were formed to replace the Klan.
These groups too had their day. In one case (Red Shirts) “their day” lasted until 1900.
THEY’RE BAAAACK!
It’s the 20th Century. February 8, 1915 to be exact.
That bastion of liberalism (Hollywood) has just released an outrageous piece of propaganda disguised as one of them new-fangled motion pictures: “Birth of a Nation”.
In it, the Negroes (portrayed by white men in blackface) were big, stupid and sexually aggressive towards them “Southern Belles”.
Btw, there is one “urban legend” that is based on fact: males of African decent (on average) have bigger dicks then white American males. But then, so do South Americans, Middle Easterners and Canadians. Makes me wonder how much racism is based on “penis envy”. But, not to worry – we still beat the Chinese, Indians (of the India variety) and SE Asians. (And if you think I’m going to post a penis pic, forget it. I have a sneaky hunch you already know what one looks like.)
Back to the movie. (Sorry about the sidetrack. I know you are all worried about the fate of them “Belles”.)
Well, put your minds at ease. Riding to the rescue of the fair damsels, (oops, wrong period) I mean belles, were those glorious, glamorous “knights of the white cotton armor”: THE KLU KLUX KLAN!! (rah! rah!, whoopy! hurray! and various other forms of uproarious applause)
The movie is a classic. (#44 in American Film Institute’s “100 years…100 Movies”). For its day, it was an epic! a Masterpiece!! a BLOCKBUSTER!!! It was also unmitigated BULL SHIT!
The movie was based on “The Clansman” and was directed by D.W. Griffith, the son of a Confederate colonel. His sentiments showed just a bit. (A very LARGE bit!)
“As slavery is the great sin of America, so “Birth of a Nation” is Griffith’s sin, for which he tried to atone all the rest of his life. So instinctive were the prejudices he was raised with as a 19th century Southerner, that the offenses in his film actually had to be explained to him. To his credit, his next film, “Intolerance”, was an attempt at apology.” Roger Ebert: The Birth of a Nation (1915)
And, in fairness to D.W., the film was not outside the mainstream of American “prevailing wisdom” at the time.It was even endorsed by President Woodrow Wilson. (Quite a bigot himself.)
Of course, his office later issued a non-denial, denial that he did. (Take a swig of beer for every time you’ve heard one of those from a politician. But, please don’t drive for a few hours. There’s enough drunks out on the road as it is.)
Cheese, Man! You’re navigating a narration of the nation’s “naughties” and now you’re talking about a MOVIE? What’s your point Man???
The point is this: In an early indication of the power of the flickering image, the Klan became “all the rage”. Those cowardly, racist murderers morphed into the champions of the oppressed (white) people and the “Saviors of the South”.
Even worse, it inspired William J. Simmons to re-form the KKK later that year on top of Stone Mountain in Georgia. (Too bad they didn’t take the short way back down.)They now called themselves the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.
This was the “New & Improved” version of the Klan. Instead of just despising n****s, they generously expanded their hatred to include Catholics, Jews, Commies, unions and immigrants of the non-northern European variety.
(One of these posts, I’m going to have to discuss the usage of the “N” word. I could probably understand African-American sensitivity to the word, if they didn’t use it so much themselves.)
In 1920, the Klan was taken over by Edward Clark, a former journalist, and Betsy Tyler, a former(?) whore. In three years they built it up from 3,000 bigoted assholes to over 6,000,000 bigoted assholes. (There never seems to be a shortage of that type in the U.S.) This was at a time when U.S. Population was 115,000,000
In this incarnation, instead of being concentrated in the rural south, they were national in scope, although the mid-west had most of the non-southern kukes. Indiana members numbered 250,000 (30% of the white male population). They were in all the other states and Canada as well. And, they weren’t confined to the rural areas. Detroit had 40,000 members and Indianapolis had 50,000.
They were organized on a national level with the Grand Wizard as the nominal chairman with the Imperial Wizard as CEO. They were advised by a Kloncilium consisting of a Klaliff, a Klazik, a Klokard, a Kludd, a Kligrapp, a Klabee, a Kladd, a Klarago, a Klexter, a Klonsel, four Klokanns and a Night Hawk. (I guess they ran out of “Kl” words, although Klown and Klod fit quite well.)
On the Realm (state) level there was the Grand Dragon who was Head of Realm; the Realm level Imperial Wizard as the Realm’s CEO; and their Kloncilium was composed of 15 Hydras. The Congressional District level was run by A Grand Titan and his aides, the Furies. The Klavern (local) organization was headed by an Exalted Cyclopes.
Regular members were called Ghouls. (I have absolutely no problem with that!)
There were still lynchings and other assorted intimidations going on,
but the public face of the Kukes was a lot more p.r. related.
For instance, check out their 1925 Klan Manual. If you don’t read too close or don’t know the code words, it sounds like a swell fraternity of hale, well-met fellows who were deeply patriotic and very devout. What you saw was not what you got.
With their 6,000,000 membership and millions of ‘fellow travelers”, the Klan amassed a great deal of political power.They controlled legislatures in Indiana, Oklahoma, Oregon (oh, the shame of it) and Texas.

 
Indiana Governor Edward L. Jackson was an active member who used his office to facilitate Klan goals. Linda C. Gugin: The Governors of Indiana pp 274-279 (2006)
 
 

 
Alabama Governor David Bibb Graves was reported to be the Exalted Cyclops (local head) of the Mongomery klavern. Glenn Feldman: Politics, Society and the Klan in Alabama, 1915-1949 p138 (1999)
Alabama Senator, later Supreme Court Justice, Hugo Black was a member though mostly for political advantage. He was a liberal during his Senate tenure as well as on the court.
West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd rose from Kleagle (recruiter) to Exalted Cyclops before he entered politics. Ironically in his final years he rated a 100% from the NAACP. (Some people really do grow up.)
Early in his career, Harry Truman (my idol, ol’ “Give ‘em hell” himself) joined briefly for political reasons (he wanted to be re-elected). He reportedly never even went to meetings and in fact, became a target of the kukes when he allied himself with the dominant Kansas City political machine, which was predominantly Catholic. Plus, one of his best friends (and business partner) was Jewish.
As President, in 1948, Truman signed Executive Order 9981 which ordered the racial integration of the armed forces. The conservative/bigot reaction was almost exactly the same as their current reaction to the integration of Gays and Lesbians into the military. (Some people really don’t grow up.)
The above were all self admitted members of the Klan. Of course, if you believe the Klan (which I don’t) there were several other illustrious names on their roster:

 
Robert E. Lee (1st Klan) Other than a purported letter of support, there seems to be no evidence that he was ever active. Probably more of a “fellow traveler”, if even that.
 
 

Supreme Court Justice Edward White Somebody said that he told them he was back before “Birth of a Nation”. No corroboration anywhere on this one. He may have been in the first Klan, but since he was Catholic, definitely not the second.
 
 

President Warren G. Harding This is another somebody said that somebody said.  He was conservative and corrupt (Teapot Dome Scandal and other “not legal” naughties), but he was basically pro-civil rights, which would have made him a very bad fit for the bigoted bunch.

 
 
They also claim William McKinley and Calvin Coolidge, but this is getting boring.
They did manage to kill the 1924 Democratic nomination of Al Smith (of the Catholic Smiths) but Al nabbed the 1928 nomination (for all the good it did him.)
On August 8, 1925, they staged the largest march (50,000 participants) in Washington D.C. up to that date.

The header says 1928, but that’s incorrect.
So, with all that political muscle, why aren’t we living in “The United Realms of America”? (Here’s a hint: By 1930, Klan membership had dropped to 30,000.)
Wha’ hoppen?
For the answer to that we have to go “Back Home in Indiana”. (Sorry ’bout that, but I love to integrate song titles into things.)

D.C. Stephenson was the Grand Dragon of Indiana and 22 northern states. By 1925, the Klan was hot, its political power was rampant, and the money was rolling in. D.C. was proclaiming “I am the law in Indiana” and then he went and raped a woman and caused her death.
Stephenson, who preached the prohibitionist gospel and was a self-proclaimed “defender of Protestant womanhood” kidnapped, forcibly intoxicated and then raped his secretary Madge Oberholtzer which led to a suicide attempt and her eventual death.
Stephenson was convicted of 2nd degree murder and sentenced to life in prison.
In retaliation for his conviction, Stephenson released a list of public officials on the Klan’s payroll. The resulting uproar over the trial’s revelations and the subsequent trials of various politicians seriously eroded Klan support.
Then in 1927, the Alabama KKK launched a wave of terror against blacks and whites they accused of immorality and racial shenanigans.
Civic groups started publishing Klan membership lists. Newspapers started attacking the Klan. Sheriffs cracked down. Politicians ran like scared jackrabbits. The membership fled like rats deserting a s(t)inking ship.
All this signaled the demise of the 2nd Klan incarnation. They would be back, but never again be a force. Current membership is around 6,000.
Well, that wraps up this episode. Stay tuned for part 3 when we emerge from WWII into a brand new world of weird.
And, once again for those of you who feel insulted that I would link the Kukes to the baggers in this series, I’ll leave you with this:

Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
( Pt. 3: CIVIL RIGHTS, CIVIL WRONGS, CIVIL RUMPS)
1948
By 1948, the country had changed a lot from what it had been a couple of decades earlier.
The U.S. (and the world) had endured a decade long depression, followed immediately by a world war that left an entire continent and numerous nations elsewhere crushed and broken.
The U.S. had gone from a mostly rural, isolationist regional power to the preeminent world power, due primarily to it’s undamaged infrastructure.
1948, itself, was a year of changes:
◾In January, Gandhi was assassinated;
◾In February, The Communist Party seized control of Czechoslovakia;
◾In March, the Supreme Court ruled religious instruction in schools violated the U.S. Constitution;
◾In April, President Truman signed the Marshall Plan, pumping $6 billion into European recovery. (That’s about $54,300,000,000 in today’s moolah.);
◾In May, Israel declared its independence;
◾In June, the first astronaut (a monkey named Albert I) was launched from White Sands, NM, and the Berlin Blockade began;
◾In July, President Truman signed Executive Order 9981, ending racial segregation in the armed forces and the Democrats held their national convention.
And, that last little tidbit (the Democratic National Convention) is what brings us to ’48.
Once upon a time the South was solidly Democratic. (That’s “big D”, not “little d”. It was definitely not “little d”.) Once upon a time the Republican Party was the liberal party (party of Lincoln and all that) and the Democrats were the troglodytes.
That slowly changed over the years. The Democrats got smarter and the Republicans got dumber. (Or greedier, depending on your values).
The Republicans became primarily the “money” party of big business and the Democrats tried to be all things to all people (depending on where you lived). This is not to say that “money” didn’t buy more than a few Democrats (it still does) or that all Republicans were insensitive to average Americans. (The moderates hadn’t been pushed out of the party yet.)
On the political front, 1948 was not looking good for the Democrats.
In 1946, the Republicans had taken control of both houses and the majority of Governorships by campaigning against Harry Truman.
Many liberals in the party were dissatisfied with Truman and split to form the Progressive Party.
And, while the South was still rock solid Democratic, their Dems weren’t on the same wavelength as the rest of the party. While the rest of the Democrats (and the rest of the country) were moving forward in racial relations, the Southern Dems were still defending their Jim Crow laws.
The Jim Crow laws were enacted as whites regained control of southern government after Reconstruction. They were the basis of the disenfranchisement of blacks and “separate but equal” segregation. “Separate but equal”, doesn’t sound too bad, but it’s really akin to “fair and balanced” in that both are bald face lies.
(Btw, Mr. Crow was not a real person. “Jim Crow” was a derogatory name for blacks going back to the 1830′s.)
All this came to a head in the Philadelphia convention.
Hubert Humphrey, who was then mayor of Minneapolis, led the fight to insert a civil rights plank in the Democratic Platform. Even proposing to give equal rights to them “damn niggers” was just too much for the Southern contingent, so they stormed out of the convention. (Actually, they just walked out, but “stormed out” sounds so much more dramatic.)
Their next move was to set up their own party: the States Rights Democratic Party (aka “Dixiecrat Party”).
Make no mistake about it, the “states’ rights” they were championing were the rights to discriminate and oppress as they damn well pleased.
Their platform read in part: “We stand for the segregation of the races and the racial integrity of each race; the constitutional right to choose one’s associates; to accept private employment without governmental interference, and to learn one’s living in any lawful way. We oppose the elimination of segregation, the repeal of miscegenation statutes, the control of private employment by Federal bureaucrats called for by the misnamed civil rights program. We favor home-rule, local self-government and a minimum interference with individual rights.”
After reading this, it struck me how recent it sounds. Then I remembered. Most of it could have come straight out of a Paul speech. (Ron or Rand – take your pick.)
The Dixiecraps (er…crats) chose South Carolina Governor Strom Thurman as their standard barer and Mississippi Governor Fielding Wright as Veep.They then attempted to usurp the regular Democratic ticket on the southern state ballots, hoping to force the election into the House of Representatives, where they thought they’d get their way.
To this end they did manage to replace the Democratic ticket in South Carolina and Mississippi (surprise, surprise) as well as Alabama and Louisiana. In the rest of the south, they had to run as a 3rd party (which they were).
Unfortunately for them (fortunately for the rest of us) their grand plan fizzled. They ended up getting 1,175,930 votes (2.4%) and carrying Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi and South Carolina, which along with an electoral vote in Tennessee gave them a grand total of 39.By comparison, the Republican ticket (Tom Dewey and Earl Warren) got 21,991,292 votes (45.1%), carried 14 states and received 189 electoral votes.
And, my man Harry got 24,179,347 votes (49.6%), carried 30 states and received 303 electoral votes. (And made the Chicago Daily Tribune staff look like a bunch of idiots.)
Thus ended the States Rights Democratic Party, but not the “Dixiecrat movement”. Southern politics was about to change horses (but they were still heading up a box canyon).
1960
Another “states rights” party reared its ugly head in 1958. This one was called the National States Rights Party. As with the original, “states rights” was code for “keep the darkie down”.
The National Chairman was J.B. Stoner. (a “head” of his time?) (Sorrrrry ’bout that. Just couldn’t resist.)
Mr. Stoner deserves a sidebar. Hell, if I were scribbling this post back then, he’d get pages. But, he’s dead (2005) and gone and not missed a damn bit, so I’ll just hit the lowlights.
◾Prior to running the party, Mr. Stoner, had rechartered a KKK chapter in Chattanooga at the tender age of 18.
◾In 1958, despite his party duties, he still found time to bomb Birmingham’s Bethel Baptist Church. He was convicted in 1980 and after “taking it on the lamb”, he was caught and served 3 1/2 years in prison.
◾He stalked Martin Luther King just prior to Dr. King’s assassination and then served as a lawyer for James Earl Ray, the man convicted of the assassination.
◾In 1970, J.B. ran for governor of Georgia. The self-proclaimed “candidate of love” said that he thought Hitler was too moderate. He also said that being a Jew should be a crime punishable by death and that black people were an extension of the ape family. He was beaten in the primary by Jimmy Carter, but he got 40,000 Georgia votes.
◾To his credit(?), he did win a free speech fight with the FCC. He was allowed to say “nigger” in his campaign commercials.
Here’s a link to my source on this one. It’s an interesting obit.
In 1960, the party held a “secret convention” and nominated Arkansas Governor Orval Faubus for President. (If that name rings a bell, you’re either old or you pay attention to American history.)
The one thing Governor Faubus is famous for is for calling out the Arkansas National Guard to stop the integration of Little Rock’s Central High School. Unfortunately for the Governor, President Eisenhower pulled rank on him by nationalizing the guard and sending them home. Ike then sent in the 101st Airborne Division to protect the black students. The Governor responded by shutting down Little Rock’s high schools for the 58-59 school year. This became known as Little Rock’s “lost year”.
Obviously, Orval wasn’t elected President. He received 44,984 votes nationwide (.07% or 7 out of every 10,000 votes cast.
Kennedy (the Catholic) got 34,220,984 votes. (The entire “Know Nothing” movement simultaneously rolled over in their graves.) Nixon (the Crook) was an also ran at 34,108,157 votes. (Sadly, he’d return to torment us later.)
Needless to say, this wasn’t the horse that the South changed to, but it managed to limp along into the 70′s.
1964
THE SHIT HITS THE FAN! (But first, a bit of prologue)
It’s 1964 and there’s a southerner in the Oval Office.
That “damn Boston Catholic” got shot down in Texas by the mob, or by Castro’s men, or the CIA, or the FBI, or the KGB, or Woody Harrelson’s dad, or some sap suckered into it by some southern “businessmen”. Or somebody, anyway.
We’ll never really ever know. Too many political careers depended on the “Warren Whitewash” with its “magic bullet theory” being accepted. (To history and conspiracy buffs, Arlan Specter’s name will pop up real quick.)
The “magic bullet” for those who are wondering, referred to the theory that a single bullet had entered through Kennedy’s back, exited through his throat and then struck John Connally.There are more than a few problems with this scenario:
◾For starters, Oswald supposedly shot Kennedy from the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository. I’m not sure what the height of each floor was, but let’s go with 10 feet. So, that would mean that counting window height, the shot was fired from at least 53 – 54 feet off the ground.
—
© by James G. Howes, 1969
Therefore the bullet entry point had to be higher than the exit point. Now, anatomy wasn’t my favorite subject (OK, female anatomy was, but I’m not talking about that.) but I seem to recall that the back is lower than the neck.
◾The bullet then supposedly struck Connally in the back, broke a rib, exited his chest and shattered his wrist and then a fragment lodged in his thigh, thus causing seven wounds in the two men. So, the bullet went through 15 layers of clothing, 7 layers of skin, about 15 inches of tissue, struck a necktie knot, broke a rib, and shattered a radius bone. The “bullet” was later found on a gurney at the hospital after the assassination. As part of its “magic”, the bullet (CE 399) was intact with no blood or tissue on it. The bullet’s nose was normal and the tail had been compressed laterally. That begs a couple of questions: How did it manage to do all that and emerge (on the gurney?) with no blood, tissue or damage? And, where did the fragments found in Kennedy, Connally and the limo come from? Before you ask, yes they did do a ballistics check on the bullet and it was fired from Oswald’s rifle. The question is WHEN WAS THAT BULLET FIRED?
◾In 1978, a Neutron Activation Analysis (NAA) was performed on the bullet and the various fragments from Connally’s wrist, Kennedy’s head wound and limousine fragments. They all didn’t match. They seem to have come from different bullets.
Let me state that I am not a conspiracy nut. I really have no idea who did it or why they did it. But I know bullshit when I smell it. And this stinks to high heaven.
If you want to get into it, a good place to start would be this wikipedia link. If you want to dig further than that, follow their links to the original sources. (Warren Commission Report, FBI files, expert testimony, etc.)
OK, back to the topic of today’s tirade.
Before he died, Kennedy had introduced civil rights legislation that promptly got bottled up in the House Rules Committee by it’s Southern chairman and was essentially declared “DOA”.
After his death, the segregationist bloc in congress felt a bit safer. Kennedy was gone, the bill bottled up and there was a Texan in the Oval Office.
And then, everything changed.
In his first address to congress, after becoming president, Johnson told the legislators “No memorial oration or eulogy could more eloquently honor President Kennedy’s memory than the earliest possible passage of the civil rights bill for which he fought so long.”
Kennedy was an idealist, Johnson was a pragmatist. Having been Senate Majority Leader, Johnson knew which arms to twist and which asses to kick into line to get what he wanted. And, he wanted the bill passed and he wanted it passed NOW! It required a few procedural tricks, but they got it out of committee, passed by the house, and sent to the senate.
There, the new majority leader, Mike Mansfield, executed another trick or two to bypass the Senate Judiciary Committee and it’s Mississippi chairman. Instead of dieing in another committee, the bill was sent straight to the Senate floor for debate.
The “Southern Bloc” of 19 senators, led by Richard Russell of Georgia, launched a filibuster that lasted 57 working days. Strom Thurman (you remember him) blasted the legislation. “This so-called Civil Rights Proposals, which the President has sent to Capitol Hill for enactment into law, are unconstitutional, unnecessary, unwise and extend beyond the realm of reason. This is the worst civil-rights package ever presented to the Congress and is reminiscent of the Reconstruction proposals and actions of the radical Republican Congress.”
On June 10, 1964, after Richard Byrd finished delivering a 14 hour, 13 minute filibustering address (and while the Rolling Stones were recording “12 X 5″ in Chicago) the Senate leadership finally dug up the 67 votes needed for cloture. (Now, they can hardly ever even find 60.)
Nine days later on June 19, 1964, the Senate passed the final version of the Act, which was signed by President Johnson on July 2, 1964. LBJ’s Civil Rights Signing Speech.
The Act would finally affirm the famous (but, up til then, erroneous) line from the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal“
THAT DID IT! That damn Democratic Congress and that damn Democratic Texas turncoat could no longer be trusted. Meanwhile on the other (Republican) side of the street, Barry Goldwater (“In your heart, you know he’s right” or if you were a Democrat: “In your guts, you know he’s nuts”) was making sympathetic sounds.
(Before I continue, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should tell you that Barry is one of my political heroes. Those of you who have read a few of my posts know my general opinion of most politicians (leaches), but now and then there are some I actually admire. Barry is one of three Republicans who make that list, along with Fred Thompson and former Oregon Governor Tom McCall. Not that I agree with most of the political positions of either Barry or Senator Thompson. In fact, quite the opposite. However, both seemed to possess that political rarity – integrity. In Governor McCall’s case, I would be hard pressed to find points of disagreement. However, in today’s Republican party, McCall would be a dinosaur (and a pariah). He was a MODERATE! Also, in disclosure, there is a very loose connection with Barry and I had the privilege and pleasure of knowing and working with Governor McCall. Of course, I’ve worked with Bill O’Reilly as well. However, that was neither a privilege nor a pleasure. Senator Fred, I’ve never met, but would love to.)
Sidetrack over, back to the main path:
Goldwater’s Presidential campaign was heavy on “states’ rights”. However, in this case “states’ rights” wasn’t a cover for racism (at least to Barry). Goldwater had a history of supporting civil rights legislation. He had voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964 because he felt it was an intrusion of the federal government into the affairs of states and interfered with the rights of citizens to do business with whoever they chose. The South liked what it saw and thought it heard. Maybe, just maybe, this kind of Republican was more their style than those damn Dems.
In the election, Goldwater was the first Republican to win the Deep South (Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi and South Carolina). Unfortunately, the only other state he carried was his own (Arizona) and he lost in a landslide.But, the transition had begun.
(A quick note as I end this episode: This was originally supposed to be a four-parter. However as I researched, I quickly discovered that there were a lot more American loony tune movements than I had realized. And, believe me, I’m just covering a miniscule fraction of them.
This section was supposed to cover WWII to the beginning of the Obama hype machine. But it’s already quite long and I haven’t even hit 1968 yet. Therefore, I’m going to cut it here.
Next time I’ll cover the 1968 Democratic Convention/Anti-War Protest/Chicago Police Riot; the rise and demise of the American Independent Party; Ross Perot and a few other choice tidbits.
Then finally in episode 5 we’ll get to the party.)Grouchy

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2 thoughts on “The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)”
Carmen on March 19, 2012 at 13:23 said:
 
great website my friends, this is an awesome post, keep them ideas coming up…good luck.http://www.ojogosdomario.com
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Daveon March 19, 2012 at 15:18 said:
 
Thank you for the very appreciated comment. It’s this sort of response that keeps me motivated.
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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
1968
(I’m scribbling this part of the post on March 16th. On this date in 1968, Bobby Kennedy announced that he was seeking the Democratic nomination for President. I note this not so much in commemoration of Kennedy, but rather as a comment of how much longer these things go on now. Hell, the Republican clown show is nine months old already and still playing in “the sticks” although to a smaller and smaller audience.)
1968…….That was another one for the books.
On January 30th, the Vietnam Tet Offensive began. Although eventually it was a U.S. victory, perception-wise it was a loser.
People started turning against the war in droves, spurred on by scenes like this.
A Viet Cong officer is executed by the South Vietnamese National Police Chief
On March 31st, LBJ dropped out of the Presidential race. (Check out the video below. Believe me, it’s worth the six minutes.)

On April 4th, Martin Luther King is shot in Memphis. Riots erupted all over the U.S., some lasting for several days.
On June 5th, Bobby Kennedy was shot in Los Angeles after winning the California Primary. He died the next day.
August 5th – 8th saw the Republicans nominate Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon for President and Spiro “Nattering Nabobs of Negativity” Agnew for vice.
 
(Both eventually resigned in disgrace. Agnew, as part of a plea bargain to keep out of jail. Nixon, one step ahead of impeachment.)
Nixon had deployed his “Southern Strategy” in obtaining the nomination. Tricky Dick’s political strategist, Kevin Phillips, explained the strategy in a New York Times interview.
“From now on, the Republicans are never going to get more than 10 to 20 percent of the Negro vote and they don’t need any more than that… but Republicans would be shortsighted if they weakened enforcement of the Voting Rights Act. The more Negroes who register as Democrats in the South, the sooner the Negrophobe whites will quit the Democrats and become Republicans. That’s where the votes are. Without that prodding from the blacks, the whites will backslide into their old comfortable arrangement with the local Democrats.  James Boyd: “Nixon’s Southern strategy: ‘It’s All in the Charts’ New York Times (May 17, 1970)
It’s a cynical, lowest-common-denominator strategy, banking on the premise that the majority of southerners are racist bigots, but it worked beautifully. (Which, I guess, proves that the majority of southerners are racist bigots. Plus it explains a lot of those Tea Potty posters.)
On the last week of August the Democratic Convention/Anti-War Protest/Police Riot was held in Chicago.
 The Democrats were as divided as the nation over the war and other issues.
Of the 13 primary states, Gene McCarthy had carried 6; Kennedy had won 4 of the 12 he competed in. Hubert Humphrey hadn’t competed in any primaries, but he was the “safe” establishment candidate and he was nominated over some very strong objections.
And then there was George Corley Wallace. (Not to be confused with the comedian George Wallace. Believe me, this man was not funny.)
(No. That’s not “our” George, either. But, I just couldn’t resist. I mean, how often do you come by a neat old lobby card from a sci-fi serial. Plus, “our” George was a bit on the loony side as well.)
George was a “good ol’ boy” who gained national notoriety back in ’63, when as Governor of Alabama, he literally blocked the door to the University of Alabama in a lame attempt to keep four black students from enrolling. (Shades of Orval Faubus.) He moved out of the way when faced with U.S. Marshals, the Federalized Alabama National Guard  and Deputy Attorney General Nicholas Katzenbach. (Better that than sittin’ in the slammer over your “principles” I guess.)
This stunt should not have come as a surprise (and it didn’t). Georgie, in his inaugural speech as Governor, had uttered those immortal words: “I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.
Georgie did a little primary campaignin’ in ’64 against LBJ, but it didn’t do much good. He even offered to switch parties if Goldwater would choose him as veep. Goldwater chose Willie Miller of New York instead, so Georgie stayed a Democrat a bit longer.
And that, boys and girls, brings us to the American Independent Party.
The AIP was formed in 1967 by Bill Shearer and his wife, Eileen as a vehicle for George’s political ambitions. The party is still around – sort of. (It split into factions in 2008.)
After 1968, it promoted right-wing heroes such as Lester Maddox, Howard Phillips, and Alan Keyes. But looking at the election results, nobody really gave a shit. Plus, who needed a right-wing third party when they had the Republicans licking their ass. Btw, Bill Shearer himself ran for Governor of California in 1970. (He got 1% of the votes.)
But, this section is about 1968 and George Wallace (and more importantly, the racist bigots who followed him like a horny hound sniffing a bitch’s butt.)
To run as a Presidential Candidate Georgie needed a running mate. At first, he wanted Kentucky Governor (and ex-Baseball Commissioner) “Happy” Chandler. But, then somebody remembered that when Chandler was Baseball Commissioner, he supported hiring that nigger Jackie Robinson, breaking the unofficial “all whites rule” of America’s Pastime. So much for his prospects.
Then he tried (and failed) to recruit Colonel Sanders. (Yes Virginia, there really was a Colonel Sanders. And, his chicken was a hell of a lot better than the factory fowl his namesake take-outs dish out now.)
Finally, George picked General Curtis “bomb them back to the stone age” LeMay.
During the Cuban Missile Crisis in ’62, General LeMay was the Air Force Chief of Staff. In this position, he opposed the naval blockade, vigorously arguing instead for bombing the missile sites.
What he didn’t know, was that the Russian field commanders had been given authorization to launch if they were attacked. They had 20 intermediate range ballistic missiles (IRBM’s) with atomic warheads capable of hitting targets as far away as Washington D.C. or Dallas Texas. Plus, they had nine fully loaded tactical missiles. Richard Rhodes: “Dark Sun: The Making of the Hydrogen Bomb pp. 574-76 (1995)
If LeMay had gotten his way, several million southerners wouldn’t be with us today. (And, probably damn few of the rest of us would be around either.)
After the compromise (the Russians pulled their missiles out of Cuba, we pulled ours out of Turkey) that ended the crisis, LeMay still wanted to invade Cuba. As to the peaceful resolution of the crisis? LeMay called that “the greatest defeat in our history”.
(Oh, and if General LeMay looks or sounds familiar, you might remember him as Dr. Strangelove’s General “Buck” Turgidson, played by George C. Scott.)For his election strategy, Wallace and company decided to try the Dixiecrat play book, hoping to receive enough electoral votes to throw the election into the House of Representatives. (I think it was Einstein who said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.)
How he thought he could benefit from a House decided election, I couldn’t tell you. There was no way in hell that the House would ever give him the Presidency.
Anyway, it was a moot point. The final results of the election were: Richard Milous (Tricky Dick) Nixon – 301 electoral votes; Hubert Horatio Humphrey – 191 electoral votes (Poor Hubie. He never got the respect he deserved.) and George Corley Wallace – 46 electoral votes.
Remember my “horny hound” comment a few paragraphs back?
9,901,118 of them showed up to vote for Georgie and Curtis. Where did most of these racist bigots come from?
Wallace country (shades of green) by Congressional District
As you might have guessed (or if you peeked at the graphic) they came from the old “slave states”. Enough of them in Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia to give Wallace all their electoral votes.
Why all this racism over 100 years after the Civil War? My personal opinion is way too many generations of inbreeding. (Which would explain a lot of other Southern quirks as well.)
OK. That last comment was a tad over the top. (Or, under the bottom?) Obviously, they can’t all be products of inbreeding.
Also, to be fair, it isn’t just the “Old South” that seems to be getting stupider. Arizona and Kansas (hell, the whole “Bible Belt”) seem to be racing down that path as well.
There are a number of reasons why the South is the way it is. Way too many to stuff into an already overlong post. However, it would make for a good post of its own, so I think I’ll give it one. Just to give you a quick tease: A lot of the blame falls directly on the backs of Southern Democratic pols. (Stay tuned, sports fans!)
Likewise, I’m going to skip over the political rise of the Christian Right. That’ll be covered in the “Religious Wrong” post.
Instead, we’ll jump ahead 27 years.
1995 & beyond (And a little bit before.)
So far, in the first four “Tea Potty” episodes, most of the attention has been on the bigoted side of the proto-Baggers. Of course, if you ask a Bagger, they’ll tell you that it isn’t about race, it’s about taxes. (I’ll address that joke in Part 5, when we finally get to the Tea Potty itself.)
The major reason there hasn’t been more on the tax resistance side is that there hasn’t really been any major anti-tax movements since the “Whiskey Rebellion” of 1791. Oh sure, there’s been a lot of minor tax avoidance groups, but nothing really organized until the 1990′s.
 Enter: Ross PerotPerot himself, is a very interesting character on a number of levels.
As a boy, he made Eagle Scout in 13 months. As a Midshipman at the U.S. Naval Academy, he helped establish its honor systems. As a salesman for I.B.M., he made his yearly quotas in around two weeks. In 1962, he founded Electronic Data Systems. In 1964, he sold controlling interest to G.M. for $2,400,000,000. (That’s 2.4 billion, in case you’re counting zeroes.) In 1979, after Iran had imprisoned two of his employees, Ross organized and paid for their rescue mission. (That’s Ross Perot: 1; Jimmy Carter: 0)
I could go on and on, but you get the picture – Chuck Norris stands up when Ross Perot enters the room.
As the old idiom goes, Ross “had his eye on the main chance“. In 1992, the economy wasn’t doing too good (especially after the “rip-roaring” 80′s). And, as usual, according to some people, it was all the government’s fault because of its wild spending. Plus, distrust of politicians was gaining momentum. 24 states had put Congressional Term Limit proposals on the ballot. Even the Republicans would come out in favor of limits in their 1994 “Contract with America“. (And, damn it! They stuck with that position right on up to their own re-elections.)
Republicans were also pissed off at President Bush for bowing to reality and violating his “Read my lips. No new taxes!” pledge. I find that a bit puzzling since his predecessor, Saint Reagan, raised taxes 11 times. (And don’t get me started about Ronnie raising the debt level 18 times.)
Most major Dems ditched the Presidential race out of fear of Bush’s post Gulf War popularity, leaving the primary field (primarily) to Paul Tsongas,Jerry “Governor Moonbeam” Brownand Bill “Bubba” Clinton. Bubba won the nomination. (I’m glad he did.)
Anyway, with what he knew was a combination of weak and weakened competition, a winning platform and a receptive audience, Ross decided to jump in. (And play by his own rules, of course.)
Most politicians announce their candidacy in some historically or politically important location (like their home town). Ross used the Larry King Show.
His first step was to pull a “coy” act. On the February 20th, 1992 program,  (Ross’s 4th visit) Larry tossed the softball: “Is there any scenario in which you would run for President?” Perot replied that he didn’t want to run, but he would campaign if “ordinary people” signed petitions and got him on the ballot in all 50 states. (And there’s a swing….. and a hit…..and it’s going….going….over the wall and out of the park!)
Ross ran an “interesting” campaign, even dropping out in the middle for a while. But, Bubba stole his theme (“It’s the economy, stupid!”) and the Repubs weren’t all that pissed at Bush. Still, Ross ended up with 18.9% of the vote (and 0% of the electoral votes). That was the best that any 3rd party candidate had gotten since Teddy “Bear” Roosevelt and the Bull Moose Party.
One final thought on Ross and his “too much taxes and government deficits are the problem” meme. You would think that Perot would do well in what is now “Tea Bag Heaven” (aka the South).
You’d be wrong!The darker the green, the larger % Perot vote. (White is <10%; Darkest Green is > 30%)
Notice anything interesting about the map? Yup, Perot did poorest in the South. The best he could get other than in Florida and Texas was between 10 – 15% of the vote. (I guess future baggers weren’t all that worried about deficits under a white Republican President.)
But, the movement was becoming more important than the man.
Perot had touched a nerve with a lot of people. Thousands responded in every state (not so much in the south). They signed petitions, they got him on the ballot it all 50. And, after the election, despite his loss, they were feeling their oats. Plus, Ross had gotten over 15% of the vote which qualified for federal matching funds for the next presidential election.
In January of ’93, Perot announced the creation of United We Stand America, a political watchdog group. Their first goals were to set up chapters in every state and fight against the passage of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). (Ross’s pet dislike at the time.) Perot, of course, assumed the leadership role.
In 1995, the Republicans took the House of Representatives and co-opted many of Perot’s themes, but just couldn’t seem to do anything about term limits or a balanced budget.
Unhappy with Republican efforts to “get off the dime” and accomplish what he wanted, Perot banded together the various state organizations into a third-party. Then he moved UWSA’s paid staff over to run the party.
They wanted to name the new party, the “Independent Party”, but “Independent” was already taken. (Think Georgie Wallace and his ilk.) So instead, they became the “Reform Party“.
When the ’96 Presidential season rolled around, Perot went into his “coy act” again and called for others to take up the banner and run for President. The only taker seemed to be a former Colorado Governor named Dick Lamm.
Within 48 hours of Lamm’s bid, Perot announced that he just might be persuaded to take up the burden of running again.
After an acrimonious convention, Perot got what he wanted but at the cost of a party split. Lamm’s supporters claimed the Perot fixed the vote, so they walked out in protest and formed the “American Reform Party“.
’96′s election was quite a bit rougher this time around. For one thing, the Commission on Presidential Debates (formed, and controlled by the Democratic and Republican parties) changed the qualifications for debate eligibility, making Perot ineligible. (One of its stated purposes was to keep 3rd parties from participating.) Deprived of an honest debate on the issues. Ross was limited to half hour infomercials, complete with charts. (Lots and lots of charts.) He ended up with 8.4% of the vote, a fractured party and the death of his Presidential ambitions.
The Reform Party went on to have one signal success: Jesse (The Body) Ventura was elected Governor of Minnesota in 1968.
Jessie (born James George Janos) was a navy seal during Vietnam (although not involved in combat) serving with Underwater Demolition Team 12 and later with Seal Team 1. He was also an “outlaw biker” and member of the Mongols.
The next highlight on his Resume was as bodyguard for the Rolling Stones. In 1975, he became a wrestler, working his way up the ladder and later becoming a commentator for the WWF. (It got the “F” outta there and is now the WWE.)
He also found the time (and talent) to appear in a number of movies from “Predator” (The only movie ever to feature two future governors (Ventura & Schwarzenegger), as well as a Kentucky Gubernatorial candidate, (Sonny Landham). ) to “The Running Man” to “Major League II”.

In 1990, Jessie ran for mayor of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, defeating the 25-year incumbent, and serving for four years. (Brooklyn Park is also the home of Garrison Keillor, but that has nothing to do with this.)
In 1998, the Reform Party nominated Ventura for Governor of Minnesota. Jessie defeated then St. Paul Mayor Norm Coleman and Hubert Humphrey’s son, Skip (Hubert H. Humphrey III).
That about wrapped it up for the Reform Party. It’s still around (as is the American Reform Party) but nobody gives a shit.
George “Duh-bull-you” Bush was appointed President in 2000 and everybody quit caring about the deficits. (Which was a good thing for “Bush League”, because he increased it a record 42.7%.)
Ok, next episode, we FINALLY get the Tea Potty itself. Check back, it promises to be a great rump….I mean, romp. (Hell, I was right the first time.)
Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
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Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(pt 5): WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?)
—
“When Fascism comes to America, it’ll be wrapped in excess body fat & carrying a misspelled sign.”
Let’s get one thing out-of-the-way, right away. The Tea Potty is NOT a grass-roots movement even though they throw around enough fertilizer to grow acres and acres of grass. (The mowing kind, not the smoking kind, although there is a lot of smoke involved.)
I’ll get into the explanation of that in a bit, but first let’s examine the baggers themselves.
While there have been “Tax Day” protests for years, (I mean, come on, is there anyone who really likes taxes, other than Warren Buffett?) there was scant evidence of any organization.
Then, in 2007, Ron Paul “The Godfather of the Tea Party” organized a “money bomb” on December 16th, the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party.
As part of it, that hot bed of liberality, Eugene, Oregon held a rally.

Only 50 people showed up and it was really next door in Springfield (of “Simpsons” fame). But hey, for Eugene, (population:156,000+) that’s still pretty good.
(Btw, the original BTP was about smuggling profits, not tea taxes. Read “Tea Potty (pt 1)“ or any serious history book on the subject.)
So, where did the baggers come from? Did they slither out from under a rock or what? (From some of their distorted views and misunderstandings of history, you’d think so.)
Some, like Faux Noise’s Juan “Yawn” Williams, will tell you that the bagger movement grew out of the failed Paul campaign of ’08. (The tax talk of it, possibly. The “I don’t like government” part, probably. Some of his other provisions? I seriously doubt it. A lot of what he believes is not Tea Potty approved, although more than a few pot smokers agree with it.)
Some think it’s an extension of Ross Perot’s movement a few years earlier. (However, the geographics and demographics are wrong. Check out the map below or read “Tea Potty (pt 3))
Perot’s support in the 1992 election was rather minimal in the “slave states”, (except central Texas) and much heavier support in the west.
Some have suggested that the movement is not a new political group but simply a rebranding of traditional Republican candidates and policies. (Perhaps, if “traditional” means something less than 20 years old. This is not your grandfather’s (or even your father’s) Republican Party!)
And, more than a few people (including yours truly) view baggers as the Boomer Generation’s version of the Dixiecrats. (Complete with all the bigotry and stupidity.)
A good portion of the members (particularly in the “slave states”) come out of the radical “Christian Right” (aka “Religious Wrong”) movement.
In 2010, Gallup took a survey of baggers. Not too many surprises other than the fact that they claimed to be more educated than the average American. Actually, a closer look at the numbers reveals the claim is not necessarily all that accurate:
◾34% had no college background. (1% fewer than the general population.);
◾34% had some college. (2% more than the g.p.);
◾16% actually made it to graduation. (1% fewer than the g.p.);
◾15% had some post-graduate studies. (1% fewer than the g.p.);
By those numbers, baggers lead until it comes to being smart enough to get into, but not in diligence enough to actually graduate from college. (I guess it’s true, what they say about a little knowledge being dangerous.)
They are, of course, very heavily into the “well-off, old, white man” demographic. 50% claimed incomes of over $50,000, 50% of them were over 50 and 79% were non-Hispanic white. (Only 6% were black.)
Gallup also claimed they were fairly mainstream, but only in age, education and employment. (Which, when you think about it, really doesn’t mean too damn much overall.)
Oh, and they’re very non-mainstream on subjects like healthcare reform and abortion. (No big surprise there.)
About 4 out of 5 (79%) are Republican with 67% identifying as conservative.Another survey, this time by the conservative leaning Winston Group, added a bit more detail:
◾47% get their news from Faux Noise. (Which actually explains a hell of a lot.) 10% learn about the world from talk radio (The lunatic fringe of the lunatic fringe.);
◾While a large portion are among the chief beneficiaries of liberal enactments (i.e. Social Security, Medicare, college loans, etc.), they seem to dislike liberals a hell of a lot.
◾While the vast majority would not be affected if the Bush cuts expire for incomes over $250,000, 82% of them think their taxes will go up. (You know damn well that 82% of baggers aren’t in the quarter mil tax bracket, but I guess it hasn’t dawned on them.);
◾Oh yah, and they don’t like Obama. (In case you hadn’t noticed.)
A couple of things they all seem to share in common are a lack of real knowledge of history or macro-economics. Which is kind of funny, (funny strange, not funny ha ha) since they seem to think those are their strong points.
Most of these people fall into the same general 22-27% of Americans who always seem to be a bit out of touch with reality. They’ve been around for years and politicians have been playing them like tiddlywinks. The major difference nowadays seems to be organization.
Ok, so much for the camera fodder crowd. How’d this bowel movement get started and who’s on the ass end pushing?
There are a pair of “origin stories” and the startup is due in part to both with a lot of help (i.e. money & mouth) from vested interests.
If Ron Paul is the “Godfather of the Tea Party”, I guess Keli Carender is the mother.
On February 16, 2009 Keli, (aka Liberty Belle)  who was Political Director of the King County Young Republicans & Chairman of the Washington Young Republican Federation, organized the 1st TeaPee in Seattle and called for a “Porkulus Protest” against the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 on Presidents’ Day. (I guess she had no problem previously with Bush’s (i.e. Republican) bank bailout, but something a Democrat proposed to spur employment in the worst economic crisis since the “Great Depression”? Hell no! That’s socialism, or Nazism or elitism or some other ism she doesn’t have a damn clue about, I guess.)
Miz “Belle” is now National Coordinator for Tea Party Patriots, a group closely associated with Freedom Watch. A lot more dirt on both of these coming up a few paragraphs down.
The “Daddy” of the TeaPee is CNBC’s Rick Santelli.
On February 19, 2009, Rick  unleashed a rant is on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange against Obama’s proposal to help homeowners facing foreclosure refinance their mortgages.

“Do we really want to subsidize the losers’ mortgages?” he yelled.
He then suggested that he would organize a Chicago Tea Party in July, where capitalists would dump “some derivative securities into Lake Michigan.” (I’m not quite sure what dumping a bunch of agreements between two contracted parties to buy or sell an asset at a fixed price on or before a date of expiration has to do with taxation. But then, Rick obviously doesn’t have a clue either.)

That’ll wrap up this episode of this seemingly never-ending tale. This was originally the first part of pt. 5, but I had gotten to around 3500 words with more to come. Since I had promised myself that I would quit writing tomes (Can’t have too many readers falling asleep on me.) and since this was more or less a natural cut spot, I cut it.
Next time we’ll explore the various national and local groups and then finally we’ll finish up with a look and the movers & takers and the clowns & commodians. (And, that’s not a misspelling.)
Grouchy

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Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
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Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
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Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
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The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
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The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(pt 6: IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS ASTRO-TURF (Or was that Astro-Lube?))
Tea Potty groups are organized in various autonomous groups, much like the current KKK. (How’s that for guilt by very loose association? Kinda like the Obama-Ayers connection fantasized by the “wrong-wing Repubs”, ain’t it?)
Some of the groups are national, some are more local in nature. Let’s look at the national groups first.
Americans for Prosperity
The 1st stop in “Kookie Kuntry” is Americans for Prosperity. (I’m doing this alphabetically, in case anyone cares.)
For those of you with long memories, (clear back to the beginning of this post) you’ll probably remember that I stated: “IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS ASTRO-TURF (Or was that Astro-Lube?)” Well, this is a prime example of A-T/A-L.
Americans for Prosperity (AFP) is a front for Koch Industries and the Koch Brothers. (You’ll be getting to know them quite well by the end of this series.) It was started by David Koch and Koch Industries board member, Richard Fink.
Among other things, Koch Industries is against labor unions, (You know, the groups that got you the 40 hour week, safer working conditions, sick leave, paid vacations and holidays, along with a lot of other things.) environmental legislation, (clean air, clean water, etc) “Cap & Trade” which would make polluters pay for cleaning up their messes, (K.I. would prefer that you pay for any cleanup out of your taxes, not their profits.) and of course they’re vehemently against doing anything about global warming. (Probably because that would make their oil, gas, coal and chemical interests less profitable.)
In 2010, AFP organized a series of “Defending the American Dream” summits, advertised as populist uprisings against corporate power. (Without, of course, mentioning that they were being funded by one of those corporate powers.)
As David Axelrod (admittedly not a AFP fan) put it: “What they don’t say is that, in part, this is a grassroots citizens’ movement brought to you by a bunch of oil billionaires.”
The summits were used in part as training sessions for TeaPee activists and included the usual “for profit” right wing crazies and political hacks (i.e. Joe the Plumber, Andrew Breitbart, Andrew Napolitano, Sarah Palin, Willard Romney, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Bob McDonnell et al.)
Later,  Flint Hills Resources (a Koch Industries division), AFP and California TeaPees joined to fight for passage of Proposition 23. Prop 23 would have suspended AB 32 (aka the Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006). The Global Warming Solutions Act established a comprehensive program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in California. This was hurting the wallets of Koch Industries and several other serial polluters.
Koch Industries and their astro-lube group dropped well over $1,000,000 against Prop 23, running ads and organizing. They even set up shop as part of a Republican National Committee (RNC) “Victory Rally” held in Anaheim.
Americans for Prosperity and the CA TeaPees tried to frame it as a jobs issue. (As if they really gave a shit about working stiffs.)
The Tea Party Express and the Tea Party Patriots got themselves involved in the campaign as well, but I’ll deal with them later.
So, the very baggers who say they are opposed to corporate power, ended up doing the grunt work for those same corporations. (And you were wondering why I call these people stupid?)
In the end, despite the vaunted power of the TeaPee and despite the over $12,000,000 spent in support, Prop 23 went down in flames. It lost by a 23% margin.
Freedom Watch
In researching Freedom Watch, I kept coming across Freedom’s Watch (a Republican lobbying group) and Freedom Watch, the ex-Fox program hosted by Andrew “Truther”* Napolitano.
*A truther believes 9/11 was a government plot or cover-up or something nefarious like that They just can’t seem to agree on what.
As much as I dislike “Bush League & the Bozos”, 9/11 was not their doing. (Other than being “asleep at the switch” and ignoring the warnings they were given.) Although, they sure took advantage of it!
Anyway, the research was worth the effort.
Freedom Watch (the wingnut movement?) was founded by Larry Klayman in 2004.
I’m not quite sure if you can really call this a movement.  (In my opinion, it’s really more of a one man TurdPile.) Still, it pretends to play on the national scene, so it get’s included. Plus, Larr is so far out there, I’m not sure if it’s a money scam or if he really is that batshit insane. (I’ll let you decide.) In either case, he’s something else. (Just not sure what.)
Previously (in 1994) Larry had founded Judicial Watch. Judicial Watch is a kick in the nuts all by itself. They’ve sued everybody from the Clinton Administration (18 times), the Senate, the Department of Justice, the Secret Service and the town of Herndon, Virgina. (JW didn’t like the city’s “day laborer” program.)
Klayman left JW in 2003 to run for Senate in Florida. (He lost in the primary, receiving 1.1% of the total votes and coming in 7th out of the 8 candidates .)
Of course, being a person of habit, he turned around and sued Judicial Watch. He’s also sued Facebook (for one billion dollars) for not removing an anti-Israel Page fast enough. He sued the state of Florida on March 20, 2012 to keep Obama off the November ballot. (Have I mentioned that Larr’s a “birther”? Although, even Orley Taitz seems to question whether he’s just in it for the money) He’s represented a homophobic preacher in a suit against Rachel Maddow. (fifty million dollars) And he’s sued is own mother. (Not sure what, or how much, that was about.)
Of course, ol’ Larr has been sued himself a few times, including for non support of his own children. Not to mention, being suspended from the bar in two different states for misconduct. (Btw, Klayman is a Reagan Justice Department alumni.)
So what’s this “One Man Tea Party”‘s agenda?
Ol’ Larr wants to nuke Iran. He also wants to invade Mexico. He claims “Obama is a traitor!” and wants him tried for treason. And, he hates the Supreme Court (except when it rarely agrees with him).
He says that “Hillary, in concert with Deputy White House Chief of Staff Harold Ickes, Secretary of Commerce Ron Brown, chairmen of the Democratic National Committee Sen. Chris Dodd and Marvin Rosen, Vice President Al Gore and a host of other co-conspirators, traded away U.S. national security secrets and other “favors” to the Chinese for large campaign contributions to the Clinton-Gore 1996 re-election effort”.
And, being an equal opportunity hater, he also thinks Republicans are “Worthless cowards!” The list goes on and on.
But, that’s enough publicity for this asshole. There’s lots more of them to cover.
Freedom Works

FreedomWorks, started as a campaign entitled Citizens for a Sound Economy. CSE was set up by David Koch. (Remember him?) In 2004 it merged with Empower America to form FreedomWorks.
Dick Armey, who had been Chairman of CSE, became Chairman of FreedomWorks.
FreedomWorks was behind the creation of an Astro-Lube website (Angryrenter.com) which opposed the “Obama Housing Bailout”.
AngryRenter claimed to represent “millions of renters standing up for our rights”, but according to the Wall Street Journal (a Murdoch rag not known for it’s leftist leanings), the site is fake.
This is what the Journal had to say: “Though it purports to be a spontaneous uprising, AngryRenter.com is actually a product of an inside-the-Beltway conservative advocacy organization led by Dick Armey, the former House majority leader, and publishing magnate Steve Forbes, a fellow Republican. It’s a fake [Grassroots|grass-roots] effort — what politicos call an AstroTurf campaign — that provides a window into the sleight-of-hand ways of Washington.”
FW also opposes Obama’s attempt to reform the healthcare system. (Dick Armey’s lobbying firm represented Bristal-Myers Spuibb along with several other “big pharma” companies.)
They’re against the American Clean Energy and Security Act which aims to create clean energy jobs, save consumer energy costs, increase energy independence, and cut global warming pollution. (In fact, they’re against the whole EPA “thing”.)
And, they’re against smoke-free workplace laws.
(Probably because Philip Morris is one of their major funders.)
But, they’re not against everything:
◾They are for privatizing Social Security. (Financial groups can make a lot more of your money if it’s privatized.);
◾They are for a flat tax. (Give up your mortgage deduction among several middle class tax breaks so Richie Rich can pay even lower taxes.);
◾They are for expanding school vouchers. (So for-profit schools can be even more for-profit.);
◾Oh, and they’re for-profit for themselves. In 2008, for instance, they took in $4,346,030, out of which Dick Armey pocketed  $550,000. (Not bad for an 18 hours a week job.) The Vice President of External Affairs got $146,243. The Vice President of Interactive Technology got $145,157. (And, his is just a 17 hours a week job.)
Tea Party Express
The TeaPee Express seems as much a tour company as an actual movement. It’s main claim to fame are it’s bus caravans. In that way, it’s much like American Energy Alliance’s “American Energy Express” or AFP’s “Patients First Bus Tour”, or their “Hot Air Balloon Tour”. (I can dig the “hot air” part.)
But, they’re also a money player in campaign politics. They backed Scott Brown in Massachusetts ($285,000), Sharon Angle in Nevada ($400,000), Christine O’Donnell in Delaware ($250,000). They also dropped $600,000 on Joe Miller to unseat Lisa Murkowski in the 2010 Alaska primary. (It worked temporarily, but she came back and beat him in the general election by 11,512 votes as a write-in,) They also targeted Bob Bennett in Utah because he wasn’t “conservative enough”. (He only got an 84 rating from the American Conservative Union making him just the 28th most conservative Senator.)
So who are these people? Well, for starters, it was founded by Sal Russo of Russo Marsh & Rogers, Republican consultants out of Sacramento, CA. (So much for a “grass roots movement”.)
Until July, 2010, their spokesman was was Mark Williams. You may remember him from such comments as “Racists have their own movement. It’s called the NAACP.”
Or his comment on the Park51 Islamic Cultural Center: “The monument would consist of a Mosque for the worship of the terrorists’ monkey-god.” (Btw, Allah is the same “person” as the Hebrew YHVH and the Christian Jehovah; just a different interpretation.)
Or, maybe you remember him from his hilarious (he thought) NAACP letter to Lincoln.
The “letter”was too much, even for the Tea Party Federation. After TPX refused to fire him over it, the Federation fired TPX.
The TeaPee Express’s sponsors include AFP and the Our Country Deserves Better PAC. (Also a Russo Marsh & Rogers operation.) I’ve discussed AFP (aka the Koch Bros.) a few paragraphs ago. For, OCDB PAC, click on the link. TPX also has a lot of help from the “fair & balanced” propaganda mongers at Faux Noise.
Tea Party Nation Corporation
That’s right! It’s the Tea Party Nation Corporation! At least they’re honest about it. No phony shit about “grass-roots”.
The TPN was created by Judson Phillips in 2009. (More on Judson in a couple of paragraphs.)

On it’s home page, it describes itself thusly: “Tea Party Nation is a user-driven
 group (No! It’s a corporation.) of like-minded (i.e. low I.Q.) people who desire our God-given individual
 freedoms (An odd statement. If you read the bible, “God” usually comes down against individual freedoms.) written out by the Founding Fathers. (For instance, the vote should be limited to white property owning males.) We believe in Limited 
Government, (Things like clean air laws and food inspectors just get in the way.) Free Speech, (Unless we don’t like what you’re saying.) the 2nd Amendment (Guns, guns, guns, we love our guns.), our Military (Even bigger guns.), Secure 
Borders (We hate Mexicans too.) and our Country (At least our fantasy version of it.).”
Ok, obviously the snarks are mine and not on their home page. I just wanted to provide a little “code word” translation so you’d know what they’re really talking about.
What they seem to be is a corporate Glenn “Conspiracies-R-Us” Beck. For instance:
◾
Did Obama GIVE our top secret drone technology to Iran?
◾
Obama Is a Muslim Radical
◾
Obama Is Just Like Casey Anthony
◾
Gays Are Like Drug Addicts

In the midst of the biggest economic downturn since the Great Depression, TPN urged businesses to “not hire a single person” to protest the Obama administration’s supposed “war against business and my country.” They said that business owners should stop hiring new employees in order to stand up to “this new dictator,” the “global Progressive socialist movement,” Hollywood, the media and Occupy Wall Street.
Of course, this is all a reflection of the Judson Philips Version of reality.

At a rally in Thiensville, Wisconsin Juddy said “I will tell you ladies and gentlemen, I detest and despise everything the left stands for. How anybody can endorse and embrace an ideology that has killed a billion people in the last century is beyond me.”
He says “Obama and his regime are not real Americans“.
He claims “Obama to sell America to China.”
He calls Democrats “members of the Party of Treason” and says “liberals love dictatorships“.
He suggests Obama Only Killed Bin Laden To Help His Reelection
He blamed the Gabby Giffords shooting on “a leftist lunatic“.
He’s said that he wants to get rid of the Methodist Church. He says that he used to be a member, but left because it’s “the first Church of Karl Marx,” and “little more than the “religious” arm of socialism.” “The Methodist church is pro-illegal immigration. They have been in the bag for socialist health care, going as far as sending out emails to their membership “debunking” the myths of Obamacare. In short, if you hate America, you have a great future in the Methodist church.”
TPN’s main claim to fame (other than their nuttiness) is that they organized the National Tea Party Convention in 2010. (Btw, they did it “for-profit”. The tickets cost $549 a pop.)
The convention was not without it’s controversies (besides the money-grubbing). The Tea Party Patriots advised members not to participate. RedState.com (a conservative blog) described the convention as “scammy”. One of the co-sponsors (The American Liberty Alliance) withdrew its support. Michelle Bachman even backed out.
Not to worry. Sister Sarah showed up (for $100,000).
They tried a follow-up convention in “Sin City” (aka Las Vegas) in July of 2011. It was first postponed until October and then cancelled. The Venetian Casino ended up suing them for $642,144 in unpaid bills.
 
Tea Party Patriots Inc.
And then we come to the Tea Potty Patriots, which seems to exist mainly as a website.
They claim to “provide logistical, educational, networking and other support” to local Tea Potty groups. They were the guiding force behind the 2009 “spontaneous” anti-health care protests at Democratic town halls. Of course, they had a lot of help from “interested parties“.
On the Pats’ “about” page it states that: “Tea Party Patriots is 100% grassroots, 100% of the time.” (Except that it isn’t!) They lie, but that’s nothing unusual. TeaPee groups do it all the time and there are several lies on this page alone.
“The Tea Party Patriots’ mission is to restore America’s founding principles of Fiscal Responsibility, Constitutionally Limited Government and Free Markets.” (As well as a few other goals better left unstated.) I‘ll be taking a closer look at those other goals next episode when I examine some of their member units. (i.e. local Tea Potties)
The TeaPeePee was supposedly founded by Jenny Beth Martin, Mark Meckler, and Amy Kremer in March 2009.
Jenny Beth, (a former Republican consultant) claims she got the idea of forming the Pats after watching Rick Santelli’s tirade (see Tea Potty pt 5) on CNBC.
Jenny Beth accuses the government of being fiscally irresponsible. I have to admit she knows something about fiscal irresponsibility. Jenny and hubby declared bankruptcy owing $680,000 including $510,000 to the IRS.
Mark is a former punk rock DJ turned lawyer turned coffeehouse owner turned ski operations equipment manufacturer turned Herbalife “Distributor” turned internet huckster.
Sadly (for him, I guess) Mark is no longer with the Tea Potty Pat’s. The excuse for his leaving was a disagreement over buddying up with the GOP. At first I thought the real reason was that he was busted on a felony gun rap. But after reflecting a bit, I realized that couldn’t be it because baggers don’t really cotton to gun laws anyway.
Amy is now gone as well. After she also joined the Tea Potty Express, the Pats kicked her out.
This is where it gets a bit confusing. The TeaPeePee said they caned her because the TeaPeeEx is too closely tied to the GOP. Mark says he left because the TeaPeePee was getting too close to the GOP. And of course, Jenny Beth used(?) to be a Republican consultant.
So which is it? (a) Was Amy too Repub for Jenny Beth, or (b) was Jenny Beth too Repub for Mark? Or (c) is all this a bunch of bullshit anyway? (Inquiring minds want to know.)
The correct answer for the above question is (c)
You don’t believe me? Name any Tea Potty candidate that’s running as a Democrat. Go ahead. Name one! Google “2012 Democratic tea party candidates”. See if you can find any. I sure as hell couldn’t! Now google “2012 Republican tea party candidates”.
I rest my case.
Oh btw, the Pats are suing Amy and Amy is suing the Pats. (Aren’t family fights fun and informative to watch?)
The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that I said these three supposedly founded the TeaPeePee.
There’s more than a little conjecture that the temporary trio were basically fronts for Freedom Works. (David Koch, Dick Armey and the gang)  I’ve snooped around and although I haven’t found any smoking guns, I’ve found some that had been fired recently.
For instance, there was a leaked June, 2009 discussion about changing the TeaPeePee logo in which Amy said:
“Hey All, Not to be a pain, but this is not Tea Party Patriots logo to change. This is FreedomWorks’ logo and they have said they are keeping the original design. I do not know why this discussion is continuing.
If anyone feels that the logo needs to be changed, then you need to contact FreedomWorks directly. TPP (Jenny Beth) has already contacted them and shared their response with everyone.
TPP is not going to contact them again about the issue.”
Oh, and guess who controls the TeaPeePee’s mailing list -Tom Gaitens, (a FreedomWorks staffer).
I may be wrong, but it seems to that if you can dictate that a group can’t change a logo design and you control their membership listserv (mailing list), you probably pretty much control the group.
Ok, that’s it for this episode. There’s a lot more shit to expose and I really wanted to get to the local Potties this time around.  But even after splitting this post, I’m still up to 3300 words. So, stay tuned boys and girls, I’ll try to wrap up this saga next time when I’ll look at the local yokels, the movers & takers and the clowns & commodians of the movement.
I’d also like to take a look at where all the money comes from (and goes to), but damn are these groups secretive about who’s financing all this bullshit. (Although the name “Koch” keeps coming up.)
 Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(pt 7) The Local Locos
Hey, welcome back. This episode was originally scheduled to cover the major baggers and their puppeteers. But, since pt. 6 was running really long, I moved the loco (er… local) TeaPee groups over to pt. 7. The “Big Baggers” is now pt. 8 (Will this never end?)

Before I get into the local outhouses, I’d like to remind people what the baggers CLAIM to be about: Stopping excessive government spending and of course – too much taxation!

As to the spending/taxation bullshit, to moderately paraphrase (and embellish) a current web meme:
◾They didn’t get mad when Bush rang up 10 trillion dollars in combined budget and current account deficits. (And, this after having inherited a budget surplus from Clinton.)
◾They didn’t get mad when Bush borrowed more money from foreign sources than the previous 42 Presidents combined. (Bush had a long history of being bailed out by monied interests.)
◾They didn’t get mad when Bush embraced trade and outsourcing policies that shipped 6 million American jobs out of the country. (And hey, if you’re jobless, it’s your own damn fault.)
◾They didn’t get mad when we gave the 1%, over a trillion dollars in tax breaks. Those tax breaks would (we were told) “trickle-down” into massive job creation. (Btw, nowadays, when you hear a Republican say that something is going to “trickle-down” on you, it means they’re going to piss on you, but it probably won’t be a trickle.)
◾They didn’t get mad with the worst 8 years of job creations in several decades. (Turned out, Richie Rich kept the money. SURPRISE! SURPRISE!)
◾They didn’t get mad when Bush’s lack of oversight and regulations caused Americans to lose 12 trillion dollars in investments, retirement, and home values in the Wall Street crash. (After all, that was just market forces at work.)
◾They didn’t get mad when Bush & the Bozos lied us into a war and spent over 800 billion on it. (But damn, we just had to spread American values to the regional heathens. It’s our “God given duty”!)
◾They didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars in cash just disappeared in Iraq. (The word “graft” comes to mind.)
◾They didn’t get mad when the Bushies didn’t catch Bin Laden. (George “Duh” even admitted he wasn’t concerned about him.)

◾They didn’t get mad when we broke our own laws and tortured people. (We used to sentence torturers to several years of playing “rock hockey” in a federal play pen.)
◾They didn’t get mad when we let New Orleans drown. (Probably figured it had too many Democrats, and way too many Black Americans living there anyway.)
◾They didn’t get mad when over 200,000 US Citizens lost their lives because they had no health insurance. (Let ‘em die if they’re too cheap to buy insurance.)
They finally got mad when a (half) black man was elected President, and decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, job losses by the millions, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, and the worst economic disaster since 1929 are all okay with them, but helping fellow Americans who are sick… Oh, Hell No!.There are a number of deviations from their “spend & tax” mantra, and I’ll spotlight some of them later in the post.
According to the National Astro-lube groups, there are several thousand individual Tea Potties across the nation. What they don’t mention is that most of them are miniscule especially in comparison to the general population. In fact, the vast majority of these outhouses hold less than five people and a hell of a lot of them just have one idiot mooning the world. (Don’t believe me? Check out this interactive map and see for yourself.)
The heaviest concentration in relation to population seems to be in the old “slave states”. (Ain’t that surprisin’!) For instance, the largest local group in Tea Potty Nation is in Nashville TN with 402 members. In fact, 8 out of the top 25 TPN  groups are in Tennessee. (#25 is Memphis with 68 members)  Also, a lot of the groups seem to come and go (or change their name) rather rapidly.
These regional demographics are reflected in the House Tea Party Caucus. Texas leads with 12. Florida (home of retired old white guys) has 7. Louisiana has five and Georgia five. California is in next with four members (out of a 53 member delegation). Of the next three states: South Carolina, Tennessee and Missouri (three each), two are Southern slave states and Missouri was a border state. (As in Quantrill’s Raiders, “Bloody Bill” Anderson and featuring soon to be folk hero: Jesse James.)
I have neither the space, the time nor the interest to investigate each and every outhouse, so I’ll just hit some of the major stupidities.

 
Local, Regional & State Tea Potties:
Help Save Maryland (from deeply tanned people) (MD)

I’ll Kickoff this Kollection of Kooks by examining the only group in Maryland to be designated a “nativist/extremist group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
A “nativist/extremist group” is defined as a group that goes after people, not policy. Instead of advocating within the mainstream political process, they target and confront immigrants as individuals.

Help Save Maryland was founded in 2005 by Brad Botwin as an explicitly anti-immigrant organization, now it’s a Tea Potty. (Proud member of the Tea Potty Patriots, no less.)
(And, why is it that these people always love to display the flag as if they were its spokesperson, when it’s painfully obvious that most of these clowns don’t have a clue to what this country is supposed to be all about?)
HSM is also closely aligned with the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR). Among FAIR’s whack-a-doo propaganda items are such gems as:
◾Immigrants are engaged in competitive breeding aimed at diminishing white power (I think they’re just pissed because Hispanics have bigger dicks than gringos. See Tea Potty pt.2);
◾Immigrants are responsible for crime, poverty, disease, urban sprawl and racial tensions in the U.S. (Must be true, because we NEVER had those before they showed up);
◾Aiding starving Africans is counterproductive and encourages population growth (People not dieing from starvation do tend to have more offspring.);
◾Attacking Sen. Spencer Abraham (R-Mich.), an Arab-American, for supporting more visas for foreigners with high-technology skills. In radio and TV ads, it said Abraham’s proposal could “make it easier for [Arab] terrorists like Osama bin Laden to export their way of terror to any street in America.” (This is way too much bullshit to even waste a snark on.);
◾Unless U.S. borders are sealed, America will be overrun by people “defecating and creating garbage and looking for jobs“. (I guess “REAL AMERICANS” don’t shit, toss trash away or want to work.)
Help Save Maryland, has been holding protests outside the state headquarters of CASA, an immigrant rights group. However, they weren’t all that well attended. As an example, here’s their website invitation to one of those protests sponsored by HSM, FAIR and other xenophobic groups:

JOIN HELP SAVE MARYLAND, PEOPLE FOR CHANGE IN PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, FEDERATION FOR AMERICAN IMMIGRATION REFORM (FAIR) AND OTHER CITIZEN GROUPS!
 
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5, 12-1 PM, AT CASA OF MARYLAND’S LAWLESS DAY LABORER CENTER, 734 UNIVERSITY BLVD E (NEAR PINEY BRANCH RD), SILVER SPRING 20903.
 
LIVE COVERAGE OF OUR EVENT BY WFMD 930AM FREDERICK RADIO!
 
Don’t let the threat of a few raindrops and snowflakes scare you off.
The Rally Against CASA of Maryland and Illegal Immigration in ON!
HSM Members are driving in from Anne Arundel, Baltimore,  Baltimore City, Harford, Howard, Montgomery, Prince George’s, and Washington Counties.
Wow! A protest put together by at least three “grass-roots” groups and ballyhooed to the faithful through the web AND featuring live coverage by radio. Turnout must have been tremendous!
Well……..actually only one person showed up and he denied being a protestor.
And, it isn’t just the HSM Tea Potty that’s anti-immigrant.
In Washington State, Tea Party Patriot groups urged supporters to gather signatures for Initiative 1056, a measure similar to Arizona’s SB1070. The Columbus, Georgia Tea Party held a rally to support Arizona, after the state passed SB1070. Many other local Tea Party Patriot groups have also supported the Arizona anti-immigrant law, as has the national leadership.
And, Willard Romney calls SB1070 “A model for the nation“! (Of course, he might change his position by next week. Ol’ “Etch-a-Sketch” is like that.)

North Carolina Freedom (from federal laws) Project (NC)

The North Carolina Freedom Project is a Tea Party Patriots member. Interestingly enough, these “REAL AMERICANS” have promoted the idea of secession. (Wonder if Rick Perry got the idea from them or they’re all nuts on the same tree.)
 
In February, 2010, in a NCFP’s newsletter article entitled “Solutions to the Tyranny of National Government”, two solutions were offered:
◾Adopt a 10th amendment position of “state’s rights” (aka “Do what we damn well please and to hell with the U.S. government”.) See Tea Potty pt 3 for more on this bullshit;
◾Secession! Institute for Research & Education on Human Rights – Special Report “Tea Party Nationalism” pg 46 (2010)
NC Freedom also worked with another group, the North-Carolina American Republic, creating workshops, entitled “Restore our Republics.” These workshops pushed the fantasy that individuals can declare themselves citizens of the North Carolina Republic. The claim is that the “real government” that was taken away by the post Civil War Reconstruction Acts. In their interpretation, the Fourteenth Amendment is unconstitutional.
This idea did not originate with them. It came from the 1980′s Posse Comitatus and the “Republic of Texas” group in the 90′s..

The Peach Tea Potty (GA)

The Peach Tea Potty gives lie to the claim that “tea parties are all about excess spending and taxes”. This one seems to be “all about abortion”.
They’ve targeted 16 Georgia state Republicans as Republicans In Name Only. (RINO‘s, if you prefer).
What was the heinous deed they’re accused of perpetrating? Voting to overspend on a pet or superfluous project? Or (horror of horrors), voting to raise some rich person’s taxes?
Don’t be silly. The Peach Potty is pissed because these RINOs wouldn’t vote to cut the abortion time frame from 26 weeks, down to 20.
Oh, and their new BBF that sponsored HB 954? (You know, a REAL Republican.) That’s Doug McKillip (R-Athens) who, in his 2010 campaign advocated raising $1,500,000,00 in new Georgia taxes by increasing the income tax level for those making over $400,000 a year. And, even worse, he wanted to raise cigarette taxes a dollar a pack. (Damn government, taking away your freedom to smoke yourself to death!)
So evidently the Peach Potty doesn’t even pretend to be anti-tax, just anti-women.

Springboro Tea Potty (OH)
The extinguished looking “gentleman” on the left is Brian D. “Sonny” Thomas, the Springboro outhouse’s Head Bagger. (Or is that a redundancy?) Mr “Sonny” seems to be the Head Twit as well, as evidenced by some of his now famous tweets as shown below.
Can you say Racist?
Next up in Vocabulary Land: BirtherIn 2009, the twit wrote on Twitter: “I’m 110% against anyo (sic) of this fucking ObamaCare and will not acknowledge that son of a bitch either until he proves he’s a legally binding person who sit in that office. There’s a reason it’s called the White House.”
Among his other “greatest tweets” was this little jewel: “Did You Know There are Over 300 Fema Concentration Camps in The United States”. This tweet also included a link to an extremist website telling readers to “resist the new world order.”
In regard to his tweets, I thought about working in a “bird brain” reference. But, however apropos, it struck me as being a touch too much. (Then I sobered up and decided to slip it in anyway.)
In April of 2010, the rest of the Springboro baggers held an event: “Bringing Back Conservatism: Doin’ It Again in 2010” a bit north of Cincinnati.
Mr “Sonny” couldn’t make it. He was in jail at the time. But then, almost nobody else showed up either and they didn’t have that excuse. (I wonder if Mr “Sonny” was wearing the “White Pride” t-shirt that he wore in his Facebook pic.)
The Springboro baggers were expecting a crowd in the thousands. Actual attendance was in the very low tens. There went the opportunity to regale the multitude with such films as “Shadow Government” (about how the “government” controls your every move); “Camp FEMA” (about FEMA building “concentration camps” for unruly Americans); “Fall of the Republic” (about how an offshore corporate cartel is intentionally bankrupting the US economy); or that Birther crowd pleaser: “A Question of Eligibility“.
(What was it Molly Ivins once said?…..Oh, yah “Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant…..it tends to get worse.”)
Of course, the non-attendees also missed speakers from the John Birch Society (JBS has switched from being “anti-commie” to being “anti-Federal Reserve Bank”, but they’re still just stupid jerks.) and special guest star: James Traficant. (Fresh from a multi-year engagement in a Federal Playpen on corruption charges.)
As I said earlier, Mr “Sonny” couldn’t make his own event due to another engagement at the local crowbar hotel. Seems he has anger management issues. (Who da thunk it?)
He evidently beat up his son. (Ah yes, Tea Potty family values at work.)  Of course, in Mr Sonny’s defense, his son is half Hispanic. The son’s mother (not his wife, from what I can discern) had to get a protection order against him. He also threatened the life of a women that was assisting him in picking up his son for visitation. (Due to his previous actions, he wasn’t allowed to be alone with his son.)
As the police were looking for him, Mr Sonny tweeted: “Professionals advise ‘Arm yourself’ When Seconds Count – Cops are minutes away.”
But, that’s enough about this asshole. There’s more to come.
Wood County Tea Potty (TX)
The W.C. Tea Potty’s Head Bagger is Karen Pack. Ms Pack calls herself as a “A Christian, a Tea Party Member, a Constitutionalist and a Patriot” (but, probably not a “Ms”). What she “forgets” to call herself is a KKK supporter. Besides subscribing to the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan’s “White Patriot” tabloid, Thom Robb’s Knights of the Ku Klux Klan listed both her and her husband as  “official supporters.”
In an essay she called “An Ardent Plea,” Ms Pack wrote, “There is no seperation [sic] of church and state. There never has been. Only the historically ignorant or purposefully distructive [sic] will claim that there is. (Ms Pack really needs to read a history book that wasn’t written for Texas schools.)  There are people at work today who hate our God, despise our Country and will stop at nothing to destroy both Christianity and the United States of America.” (Yah, you read about atheist militants nefarious activities all the time in the “White Patriot”.)
She sees a war a comin’: “Morality, Christianity and God given rights are being massacred in front of us today and Christians are doing nothing to stop it. The evil running rampant today will inevitably lead to tyranny. History proves it. If the Christians of this nation continue to sit on their church pews and turn a blind eye to what is happening, is this not a denial of Christ and all the foundations of Christianity? Are we such cowards that we can’t proudly proclaim our allegence [sic] to the fundemental [sic] (I’m curious. Are all baggers bad spellers that just can’t figure out how to use a dictionary or “spell-check”?)  Christian principles that founded and built this nation? How long will Christians wait? How long will they be silent? How much of the Constitution must the enemy shred before they figure out that the Constitution is the only law left in the world that garantees [sic] their religious freedom? Will they wait until they outlaw Christianity like they outlawed prayer in school? By then, my friend, it will be too late to preserve our nation without bloodshed.”
(I was going to end this section with that last quote, but after reading it over again, that bitch pissed me off.
Those of you who have read “A bit about me (as if you really, really give a shit)“, know that I’m an atheist. But, as many of you also know, I have a great deal of respect for people who earnestly try to live the precepts of their various religions.
However, Ms Pack’s perversion of Christianity (complete with KKK overtones) is in stark contrast to Christ’s teachings. Where Christ taught love, Ms Pack and her ilk spew hate!
Sometimes I wish there really were a hell. It would be populated by people just like her.)

1776 Tea Potty (TeaPotty.org) (A division of the Minuteman Project) (Regional)
 Back in “Tea Potty pt 5“, I captioned a photo with “When Fascism comes to America, it’ll be wrapped in excess body fat & carrying a misspelled sign.”
Meet Dale Robertson!
Besides being wrapped in fat and standing around with a misspelled sign, Dale is President and Founder of the 1776 Tea Potty.
He is also a co-host of the “Tea Party Radio Hour”. As such, he likes to have guests like the noted anti-tax (and anti-Semitic) Martin “Red” Beckman. “Red” was introduced as “an authority on the Constitution” and a “great guy”. (“Red” couldn’t be too much of a Constitutional authority, since he contends that U.S. tax laws are illegal. And, other than to Nazis, how many “great guys” are holocaust deniers?)
Another of his guests was Pastor John Weaver. Weaver is a Bob Jones alumni with strong connections to the “Christian Identity” movement.  Among Christian Identity teachings:
◾Jews are a satanic force or the incarnation of Satan himself.
◾Colored people are not fully human;
◾Northern European whites are descendants of the “lost tribes of Israel;
◾America is the white man’s promised land. (I’m still trying to find out where the bible says that.)
Then there’s the email Dale circulated depicting Obama as a pimp. (Ahhh, tain’t notin’ racist ’bout dat.)
On his website, Dale claims to be an ex-Marine, a U.S. Naval Officer and an implied war hero.
Unfortunately for Dale, there’s such a thing as “The Freedom of Information Act”.

Assignments: Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego, CA; Headquarters Battery, 2nd Battalion, MARDIV, USMC Naval Air Station, Dallas, TX (What??? No Afghanistan? No NYC?)
Length of service: Active – 75 days (Hmmm, couldn’t even last three months with the big kids.); Inactive Reserve after Active duty – 157 days (Kicked his ass out in less than a year?)
Rank: Private First Class (Ya think he fudged his resume just a teeny, tiny bit maybe?)
In February, 2009, Dale issued a press release crying that he was broke. (Couldn’t even afford a dictionary.) No worries, here comes the cavalry. (err….excuse me, the Minutemen.)
The MM came in the form of two of their leaders: “Minuteman Steve” Eichler (Minuteman Project Executive Director) and Tim Bueler (Minuteman Project Media Director).
You might remember the Minutemen (or should that be Minoot men?) from such classics as the murder of Raul Flores and his 9 year old daughter. (Both U.S. citizens btw.) Or from the times in court when the leadership was suing each other for fraud. (Guess there wasn’t enough sucker money to enhance all their lifestyles.)
As for “Minuteman Steve” and Tim, there’s a lot of dirt on these assholes, but I’m running long (again). I do recommend checking them out. You might start with this link
1776 claims to be national with 6987 members (Aug, 2010). At most they are regional. Their top ten outhouses are primarily in the south and southwest, with no more than 30 members in any area.
They are the most macho though. 66% identify themselves as male, 27% as female. (And 7% as not sure???)
Before I write “fini” on this “Local Locos” episode, I’d like to leave you with the words of John Boehner (ol’ “John of Orange”, hisself) who has called these bigoted birther bagger boobs “great patriots“.
He also stated “It’s not enough, however for Republicans to simply voice respect for what the Tea Partiers are doing, praise their efforts and participate in their rallies. Republicans must listen to them, stand with them and walk among them.”
Nuff said!
Grouchy
 

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2 thoughts on “The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)”
trade show booths on July 7, 2012 at 22:14 said:
 
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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
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Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(Pt. 8 PLAYERS & TAKERS)
The Movement Manipulators (usually for their own benefit.)
Each of the following could fill a post of their own, but this “4-part series” has already blossomed into 8 and is heading into 9. Therefore, I’m just going to do minor thumbnails with links to more info. (Plus, to be completely honest, after all the research I’ve put in and learning what I’ve learned, I’m sick to death of these assholes.)
Sheldon Adelson
Since “Citizens United” basically set campaign financial reform back a few decades (quite a few), if a billionaire likes you, you’re a major candidate for President. (I just don’t quite understand why paid commercials are considered “free speech”!)
Meet Newt’s billionaire: Sheldon Adelson. Shelly is Chairman and CEO of the Las Vegas Sands Corporation, which include, among others, the Venetian and the Sands Expo & Convention Center. Vegas pays well (if you own the dice), and if you’re Sheldon Adelson, it pays VERY well. ($21,900,000,000 just since January, 2009)
Shelly is pro-Israel and anti union. He once told his company’s Vice-President of Legal & Governmental Affairs “Old Democrats were with the union and I wanted to break the back of the union, consequently I had to break the back of the Democrats“
Newt was a perfect fit in both those categories. (Fire union janitors and hire kids & solid support of Israeli hawks as just a couple of examples.)
Plus, they have a relationship that goes waaaaay back to 1995. Shelly probably figured that as 8th richest person in the U.S., he could afford his own President.
Since Newter lost the primaries (even after giving them his pandering best), Shelly has switched to Willard. As of the middle of June, Shelly said he was going to spend at least $71,000,000 on the election.
(Btw, even George “Duh” Bush called him “some crazy Jewish billionaire”)
 
Roger Ailes
If you’ve ever wondered what ails Faux Noise, you’re looking at him.
Roger Ailes got his big start in the 1968 Nixon campaign. (Why am I not surprised about that?)
Working as Nixon’s “executive producer for television”, Ailes manufactured a series of fake news events, then paid TV stations to run them as if they were real news. (Seems like ol’ Rog has been into fake news long before FOX.)
Fired by Nixon after the election, he later was put in charge of the newsroom for Television News Incorporated. TVN was a pet project of Joseph Coors, the archconservative beer baron. (Loved his beer, hated his politics.)
The business plan was to provide news clips that stations could use as their own for a small percentage of normal production costs. Once the stations were hooked on the discounted clips, according to its President, TVN would “gradually, subtly, slowly” inject “our philosophy in the news.” Btw, the network’s motto was “Fair & Balanced”. (Ring a bell?)
There was just one problem. TVN made the mistake of hiring professional journalists who revolted over such crap. One news director who quit said the network was a “propaganda machine.” Of course those that didn’t quit in protest, were summarily fired and replaced. (Roger learned never to make the mistake of hiring real news people again.)
I could (and probably will) do a whole post on Ailes, but right now, I just wanted to lowlight a bit of the origin of Roger and the “Fox Philosophy”. If you want more, you can check it out here.
 
Dick Armey
Richard Keith “Lil’ Dick” Armey is a Republican, a former Congressman from Texas (In the “Bush League” years, they called it “Tex”. The other half was in D.C.)* and a former House Majority Leader. *(I know. That was an old joke. But then, so am I.)
What he isn’t former, (although, he says he is) is a lobbyist. Yes, he left (or was pushed out of?) DLA Piper in ’09 after FreedomWorks made him an embarrassment to the lobbying firm. (And, believe me, it takes a hell of a lot to embarrass a lobbying firm.)


 
Btw, while he was Senior Advisor at Piper, Lil’ Dick promoted the interests of the People’s Mojahedin Organization of Iran (MEK), an Iranian Marxist organization aligned with Saddam Hussein that the State Department and the European Union have branded a terrorist group.
According to the Council on Foreign Relations, the actions MEK had a hand in include:
◾The killings of U.S. military personnel & civilians working on defense projects in Tehran in the 1970′s;
◾The 1979 takeover of the U.S. embassy in Tehran;
◾Saddam’ suppression of the 1991 Iraqi Shiite & Kurdish uprisings.
(You know, it’s a bit strange, but I haven’t heard Michelle Bachman or Allen West calling for an investigation of Lil’ Dick and his Marxist buddies. I guess if a Republican does it, it’s ok.)
After leaving Piper, instead of lobbying by wining and dining leaches……I mean politicians (nah, I was right the first time), he organized local Town Hall disruptions over “ObamaCare” on behalf of some of his former(?) clients. (And why is it dubbed “ObamaCare” when it really should be dubbed “RomneyCare”? It’s almost the spitting image of the plan Romney got passed in Massachusetts.)
There’s a lot more on Lil’ Dick’s FreedomWorks adventures in “Tea Potty (pt. 6). (Just a click away.) I also recommend this WaPost column by Dana Milbank for an insight on the Lil’ Dick’s wing-nut view of history. (I swear to Zoroaster, these people must have slept through history class. Either that, or never attended in the first place.)
 
Eric Cantor
Eric Canter – “the brains(?) of the GOP”, seems to think of himself as an economist. However, he has no credentials as an economist. His educational background is in Poly Sci (B.A.); Law (J.D.) and Real Estate (M.S.).
He also seems to think that numbers are more important than people (particularly the numbers on U.S. currency).
Of course, they’re only more important when there’s a 50% African-American Democratic President. During the “Bush League Years” of prodigious spending (on and off the budget), He was (not so) strangely silent.
So, who is Ricky? What, or who does he stand for or against? Let’s take a look at his record:
◾Voted NO on modifying bankruptcy rules to avoid mortgage foreclosures. (Mar 2009)
◾Voted NO on regulating the sub-prime mortgage industry. (Nov 2007)
◾Voted NO on letting shareholders vote on executive compensation. (Jul 2009)
◾Rated 100% by the US Chamber of Commerce, indicating a pro-business voting record. (Dec 2003)
◾Voted NO on enforcing limits on CO2 global warming pollution. (Jun 2009)
◾Voted NO on tax incentives for renewable energy. (Feb 2008)
◾Voted YES on deauthorizing “critical habitat” for endangered species. (Sep 2005)
◾
Rated 0% by the League of Conservation Voters, indicating anti-environment votes. (Dec 2003)
◾Voted NO on expanding the Children’s Health Insurance Program. (Jan 2009)
◾Voted NO on requiring negotiated Rx prices for Medicare part D. (Jan 2007)
◾Voted NO on giving mental health full equity with physical health. (Mar 2008)
◾
Rated 0% by the American Public Health Association, indicating a anti-public health voting record. (Dec 2003)
◾Voted NO on requiring FISA warrants for wiretaps in US, but not abroad. (Mar 2008)
◾Voted YES on allowing electronic surveillance without a warrant. (Sep 2006)
◾Voted YES on continuing intelligence gathering without civil oversight. (Apr 2006)
◾Voted YES on making the PATRIOT Act permanent. (Dec 2005)
◾
Rated 7% by the American Civil Liberties Union, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record. (Dec 2002)

Oh yes, then there’s his stand that dirtiest of dirty words: “Taxes“!
◾Voted NO on extending AMT exemptions to avoid hitting middle-income. (Jun 2008)
◾Voted NO on paying for AMT relief by closing offshore business loopholes. (Dec 2007)
◾Voted YES on retaining reduced taxes on capital gains & dividends. (Dec 2005)
◾Voted YES on eliminating the Estate Tax (“death tax”). (Apr 2001)
◾Reduce the capital gains tax . (Jan 2001)
◾
Rated 0% by the Citizens for Tax Justice, indicating opposition to progressive taxation. (Dec 2006)

So, if who you are is how you vote, Ricky is a big business loving, environment hating, asshole who doesn’t give a rotten rat’s rectum about your rights as a citizen or addressing the nation’s real problems. He is however, very anti-tax and anti-regulation if you’re rich and powerful. (Otherwise – not so much!) And, while he claims to be against overbearing government, that evidently doesn’t extend to government snooping into your private life.
In other words, he’s a TEA BAGGER HERO! (aka scumbag)

 
Jim DeMint
◾“Jimmy dahMint” is a South Carolina Senator, and (Michelle Bachman’s delusions notwithstanding) congress’ preeminent bagger. He’s also a prime example of a throwback to early in the last century (if not earlier).
Here’s just a couple examples:
◾Jimmy has stated that gay people and sexually active single mothers should not be allowed to teach in public schools. He was raised by his divorced mother who taught dancing. (I’m tempted, but I’m not going to stoop to wondering if she was sexually active.)
◾Jimmy has also stated that people with pre-existing conditions got better health care before Obamacare. (This despite the fact that almost 50,000 who had previously been turned down for pre-existing conditions were now eligible for insurance.)
That’s what he’s said, but what’s a lot more important is what he’s done.
◾He filed an anti-choice amendment to a bill related to agriculture, transportation, housing, and other programs. The DeMint amendment could bar discussion of abortion over the Internet and through videoconferencing, even if a woman’s health is at risk and if this kind of communication with her doctor is her best option to receive care. (He doesn’t want you talking about things he doesn’t like.)
◾He voted “To prohibit the use of funds for the prosecution of enemy combatants in Article III courts of the United States.” In other words, he wants people detained but not tried for crimes against the U.S. (Seems to me the Constitution has a bit to say about that.)
◾ He opposed a measure aimed at hiring veterans, calling it a “trick” by the Obama administration and Democrats. The amendment granted employers tax breaks worth up to $9,600 for giving a veteran a job. (Btw, he was the only Senator to vote against the bill. Even his bagger buddies voted for it.)
◾He voted against an extension of the payroll tax holiday and unemployment insurance benefits. (Seems he’s only anti-tax when it comes to the “big boys”.)
◾He blocked the confirmation of El Salvador’s Ambassador because she condemned homophobia. (She said something he didn’t care for. See above.)
◾He asked JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, who’s company lost over $9 billion in the derivative market, to “guide” Congress in creating friendly banking regulations. (Dimon and his ilk were the people that brought on the recession in the first place. However,  Jimmy thinks that the inmates should set the rules for the asylum. Hmm.)
◾He voted NO on repealing tax subsidy for companies which move US jobs offshore. (So much for baggers being for the working man (or woman.))

 
Foster Friess
If it wasn’t for the fact that he has so damn much money to throw around, Foster Friess would be listed in the upcoming “Clowns & Commodians” section. (Even his name sounds like a ice cream store or a Batman villain.)
As Sheldon Adelson was Newter’s billionaire, Frosty Freeze was Rick Santorum’s 1/2 billionaire. (He’s not quite in Shelly’s “Money League”.) Then, after Rick flamed out in the primaries, Frosty switched his money to Willard.
So who is this big buck bozo?
You might remember him from such “Blasts from the Past” as his “Bayer Asprin Birth Control Boogie” or his techno-rave ode to Obama: “I Hope His Teleprompters are Bullet-Proof.”
But there’s more to Frosty than those gems. Let’s take a look:
◾He’s a passionate evangelical. (You know the type: The earth is 6,000 years old! Women should be subjugated by their husbands! Every word of the bible is absolutely true including those 15 mentions of dragons. (And, the talking snake, don’t forget the talking snake));
◾He’s an Islamophobic who did a 5 1/2 minute promo for the Clarion Fund’s Anti-islamic video “Obsession”. Frosty also puts his money where his mouth is.  He financially supports Islamophobic organizations such as David Horowitz’s Terrorism Awareness Project and Frank Gaffney’s Center for Security Policy.
◾He thinks liberals are responsible for the 1999 Columbine shooting.
◾He thinks everyone should be intolerant. I shit you NOT! Just below is his 2007 commencement speech at Pepperdine University. (The intolerance bit is about halfway in the vid.)


 
Newt Gingrich
Ah yes! The Newter. This man has so much baggage, it would take a couple of boxcars to hold it all.
So, stay tuned sports fans, lotsa juicy tidbits coming up in a few paragraphs.
But first, a little history:
Way back in the neolithic past when I was growing up, we had two political parties in this country. They pandered to different constituencies, and of course they argued a lot (mostly for political benefit), but when push came to shove they usually compromised out a solution. (Although, a lot to the time, they just kicked the can down the road so someone else would have to pick it up.)
Underneath it all, they mostly got along with each other away from the podium and the reporters. Reagan and Tip O’Neill used to rag each other’s policies all day and then get together for drinks and bull-shooting sessions in the evening.
In the 90′s that changed. We entered the era of polarization that has culminated in our present situation. The catalyst? In my not-so-humble opinion: Newton Leroy Gingrich!
Newter (or Leroy, if you prefer) started off as a moderate Republican. He was Nelson Rockefeller’s southern regional director in ’68. But, Newter is a smart man. (Just ask him. He’ll tell you.) He’s smarter than the average bagger, but then again, so’s my dog. (And I don’t have a dog.) He was smart enough to know which way the political wind was blowing in his adopted state (Georgia.) and it wasn’t a moderate wind.
After a couple of failed attempts at office in ’74 & ’76, he was elected to congress in ’78. By ’89 he was elected minority whip, stating his intention to “build a much more aggressive, activist party.” Then he proceeded to do just that.
In 1990 Newter penned a memo entitled “Language, a Key Mechanism of Control” . The memo listed words he recommended Republicans use against Democrats and Democratic policies. Words like sick, disgrace, corruption, cheat, decay, failure, pathetic, destructive, radical, traitor, greed, lie, liberal, betray, unionized bureaucracy, permissive, bizarre and anti-family. GOPAC distributed it in 1996 to all Republican candidates so that they too could “be like Newt”. Doonsbury even did a strip on it that I wish I could show you (copyright laws and all that stuff). However, you can check it out here. (Btw, despite its name, GOPAC is not a Political Action Committee, it’s a 527 organization.)
I’m not going to comment on the 1994 Republican “Contract With America“, primarily because it wasn’t written by Newter, he just had some input.
Ok, maybe just a couple comments. Actually, one question and a comment;
QUESTION: Item #10 in the contract: “The Citizen Legislature Act”, called for term limits. Whatever happened with that once they got into power?
COMMENT: As to the rest of the “contract”? In 2000, the Cato Institute (soon to be a wholly owned subsidiary of Koch Industries) stated “the combined budgets of the 95 major programs that the Contract with America promised to eliminate have increased by 13%.”
In ’94, the Republicans got control of the House and Nuter……I mean Newter became speaker.
In ’95, Gingrich shut down the government. Not once, but twice. Clinton had refused to cut the budget in the way Republicans wanted and Gingrich threatened to refuse to raise the debt limit, causing the U.S. Treasury to suspend funding portions of the government to avoid putting the country in default. (Sound familiar?) Republican amendments would have also made it harder to issue health, safety and environmental regulations. (Another recurring theme.)
Or was that the real reason? While this was going on, Newter complained that, during a flight to and from Yitzhak Rabin’s funeral in Israel, Clinton had not talked to him about the budget and (horror of horrors) Newter had been directed to leave the plane via the rear door. (Hmmm, sounds about right to me. That’s how bowel movements are supposed to work.)
In his tenure as speaker (1995-99) he set a record: 84 ethics charges leveled against him, culminating in being the first speaker disciplined for ethics violations. It cost him a $300,000 fine (out of his own pocket, not campaign funds.)
After surviving a Republican coup in ’97, Newter stepped down in January ’99. It wasn’t due to the fact that he had been dancing the “horizontal mambo” with Callista for five years (while still married to Marianne) at the same time he was trying to impeach Clinton over cum stains on a dress. (Whatever a Republican does is fine. It’s only Dems that will burn in Hell. Plus, the man slated to replace him (Bob Livingston) was also playing “wrap the weenie” with someone who was not his wife.)
No, what Newter did was far worse: Under his leadership, Republicans lost seats in ’98 in the worst midterm performance since 1934 by a party not holding the presidency. (It was also the Republicans in ’34)
But, speaking of scandals – lets.
I’m not going to discuss his “oral activities” (and, I ain’t talkin’ speechifyin’). Even I have some standards (low as they may be)
Well…………maybe just one short quote: “We had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, ‘I never slept with her.’” – Anne Manning (who was also married at the time.);
Ok, got that out of my system. Let’s take a look at Newter and the Republican’s #2 favorite meme, FAMILY VALUES! (#1 is TOO MUCH TAXATION (of the wealthy.))
You’d think that Newter would be an expert on the subject. After all, he’s been married three times. (Jackie 1962-1981; Marianne 1981-2000; Callista 2000-????)
Newter was 19 when he married Jackie, his high school geometry teacher.
“We would have won in 1974 if we could have kept him out of the office, screwing her [a young volunteer] on the desk.” – Dot Crews, his campaign scheduler at the time;
“He walked out in the spring of 1980…. By September, I went into the hospital for my third surgery. The two girls came to see me, and said, “Daddy is downstairs. Could he come up?” When he got there, he wanted to discuss the terms of the divorce while I was recovering from my surgery.” – Jackie
Of course, Newter had a perfectly logical explanation for his actions: “She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife. And besides, she has cancer.”
What he forgot to mention was that he was already banging Marianne and had been for quite some time.
The hospital visit wasn’t the end of it, either. Shortly after the cancer ward visit, Newter stopped paying alimony and child support. Jackie had to take him to court, and her Baptist church needed to take up a collection to buy food for his kids and prevent the utilities from being cut off.
His marriage to Marianne ended about the same. After Marianne was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Newt got around to telling her about Callista. (It was probably about time. The two of them had been screwing for six years.) However, Newter didn’t ask for divorce this time. He asked her to have an “open marriage” where he could keep fucking both of them. (TAKE THAT, sanctity of marriage fans!)
Marianne refused, they divorced, and he married Callista (aka “The Botox Queen”).
Ok, that’s about it for the “fun scandals”. There’s a lot more dirt out there, but I’m running long as it is.
Of course, there were also lots of not-so-sexy scandals involving the Newter:
◾22 bounced checks in the 1992 House Banking Scandal;
◾Questionable book deals;
◾Taxpayer subsidies for a partisan campaign course;
◾Cushy jobs for Callista.
And finally, let me leave you with the words of the man himself: “It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.”
 
David & Charles Koch
I’ve covered a bit of the Koch Bros and their connections to Americans For Prosperity and other astro-turf groups in Tea Potty (pt. 6) and I have a strong feeling I’m going to do an entire post on them in the near future. (Assholes with this much corrupting power deserve no less.)
However, since I’m already 400 words over my self-imposed limit for posts, for right now, I’m simply going to point you to two excellent posts: This one at newyorker.com and this one at politico.com.
Check them out. You’ll be glad you did. (And, probably a little frightened as well.)
 One last trivia note before I leave the Kochs: David actually ran for Vice President in 1980 on the Libertarian ticket. Got 921,128 votes (1.1%). After that he decided that buying elections was easier than running in them.
 
Ron & Rand Paul
Ron Paul:
Ron Paul is very smart! (Doctors tend to be that way.) He’s as smart as (or smarter than) the Newter. Plus, he has something the Newter never even dreamed of – PRINCIPLES.
Granted, a lot of those principles are extremely anarchic, but principles just the same. Plus, to be frank (or george or jim), I happen to agree with some of them. A couple of things that I agree on include:
◾THE WAR ON DRUGS: Ron is against it because it’s government involvement and he doesn’t like government involvement in hardly anything. I’m against it because it’s a total and well documented failure. (Let’s be honest. At this point it’s carried on strictly for perceived political benefit and the enrichment of the “Prisons for Profit” crowd.) There are ways to combat the “hard stuff”, but lying about pot and prosecuting users ain’t among them. It’s actually counter-productive because people, especially youth, know they’re lying about pot and can then assume that they’re also lying about the hard drugs.
◾MILITARY INVOLVEMENT: This one we both mainly agree on, except he may go a bit farther than I do. This country jumps into wars for business or political reasons way too often. Check out “Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?)” for a lot more on that subject.
And then, there are his other stands that I don’t, or maybe just partially agree  with (usually for different reasons). WAY too many to list here and that’s not really the purpose of this bit. You can check out his votes and stands here.
I started off by commenting on his “smarts”.  While “the Ronster” didn’t win too many primaries outright (3 as of this writing), his followers have been pretty successful in winning an outsize percentage of convention delegates and taking over quite a few state party organizations while the public’s (and the press’s) attention was focused on the “winners”.
The bagger with his tri-corner hat covering up his tinfoil skullcap isn’t the face of the Republican party’s future, Ron Paul is.
Lots more on Paul, but you can google it yourself. This post is rubbing up against 4000 words.
Rand Paul:Nuff said!
Next (and last) adventure into the tea potty swamp: “Clowns & Commodians (and that’s not a mis-spelling!)”
Stay classy! (One of us has to.)
Grouchy

 

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
 
(A BALLSY  HISS-STORY OF THE “BAGGERS” AND OTHER LOONY TUNE MOVEMENTS)
(Pt. 9 CLOWNS & COMMODIANS (And that’s not a misspelling))
These individuals would ordinarily be considered comedy relief, except that they are just not that funny (unless you mean funny-crazy, not funny-ha ha).
 
Sharron Angle
Sharron Angle is a prime example of how far American politics has fallen. (And, it wasn’t all that lofty in the first place.)
This advocate of “2nd Amendment Solutions” (i.e. if you don’t like the election results, grab a gun and change them) was the actual real life Tea Potty Republican candidate for U.S. Senator from Nevada. She achieved that high position by beating out another Tea Potty favorite: Sue “Pay your doctor with a chicken” Lowden.
Now, we’re talking Nevada here, so you have to expect a bit of “kook” in their politics, but Sharron is “beyond the pale”. (Ever wonder what “the pale” is and what’s beyond it? Check out the answer here.)
Among her positions:
◾The Department of Education should be eliminated (She’s living proof that edjamacation is jist waisted on sume peapoles);
◾The U.N. is unconstitutional. (Ok, to be entirely honest, the U.N. isn’t mentioned in the constitution.);
◾Opposes abortion even in cases of rape or incest, saying it’s against god’s “plan” (So god plans on a woman being brutally assaulted and forced to fuck some asshole and get knocked up in the process? That’s just SICK!);
◾Doesn’t believe the Constitution mandates separation of church and state; (“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” – 1st Amendment)
◾Believes in separation of church and state in places like Dearborn Michigan and Frankford, Texas that have imaginary Sharia laws.
The list goes on and on, but I’ve got 14 more turkeys to baste.
I will say that Sharron is in favor of freedom of the press. As in freedom to ask the questions that she wants to answer.

Otherwise not so much.


She lost the election.
 
Michele Bachmann
If Michele Bachmann didn’t exist, comedians would lose a hell of a lot of source material. The woman is a walking joke. Unfortunately, the jokes on us. (Or at least on the idiots that elected her.)
Now, I will grant you that Michele is a farce to be reckoned with. She holds sway over a significant portion of the mentally lazy. And, of course, the “tame-stream media” loves her. (To understand why, check out “There Are Not Two Sides to Every Story” right here on the “Grouchy Blog”.) She even ran for President and won the Iowa “pay-to-play” straw poll.

Michele, like a lot of Republican candidates, say that god told them to run. (I wonder if he ever told them why.)
Of course, Michele says a lot of silly things:
◾“I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?” (I wonder which America she’s talking about – hers or ours?)
◾“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” (So there! ;-P)
◾“If we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” (50 cents an hour anyone?)
◾“But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. …. men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country.” (The Founding Fathers did not work to end slavery, they allowed it. And, John Quincy Adams was not one of the “Founding Fathers”. His father was.)
◾“I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. (For another “2nd Amendment advocate”, see Sharron Angle)
◾“Unelected bureaucracies will decide what we can and can’t get in future health insurance. That’s why they’re call death panels. (Shades of Sister Sarah.)
◾“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’” (The earthquake and hurricane she’s referring to only affected “red states”. Hmmmm. Maybe she’s right on this one.)

 
Glenn Beck
Glenn “Conspiracies-R-Us” Beck (formerly the host of “Captain Beck and the A-Team”) is a self-described “rodeo clown“.  Unfortunately, he’s just not that damn funny. (Unless you count “funny-in-the-head). He also thinks he’s Howard Beale and the ghost of W. Cleon Skousen.
He used to work at CNN (at the beginning of its decline) and then he jumped to Faux Noise. (A match made in heaven or that other place?) After his ratings tanked and, more importantly, 57 advertisers refused to be seen on his show, he was invited by Fox to strike out on his own.
Anyway, other than his Vicks Vapor Rub assisted crying jags, Captain Beck is famous for his conspiracy theories such as:
◾The dollar will collapse in the next few years and, lacking sufficient gold (I guess Goldline will have sold it all.) the government will create a new currency based on land and use Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to forcibly seize land from U.S. citizens. In order to control Americans who resist having their land taken, the government will get China to come in and keep order in exchange for “a piece of our oil, coal, mineral reserves, land.”
◾The nation’s problems are the end result of a 100 year old progressive conspiracy conceived by Teddy Roosevelt and Woody Wilson to produce a “socialist utopia” in the U.S. So far this has led to millions of deaths at the hands of the communists who are in on the deal. (Don’t ask me how the communists got involved in this. I have absolutely no idea. Although, my personal opinion is that a couple of synapses in Beck’s brain(?) misfired and this was the result.)
◾Obama wants to create his own civilian army that will be deployed to implement socialism or Marxism “This is what Hitler did with the SS. He had his own people. He had the brownshirts and then the SS.” The Transportation Safety Authority will become part of the “Civilian National Security Force” and then the mailmen will join and be armed, (Tell your pooch to be careful.) and then will become 200,000 sets of eyes spying on Americans.The global warming movement is about population control.
◾The U.S. is now an Axis country on climate change, on the wrong side of history. A proposed U.N. treaty on climate change would undermine U.S. sovereignty in favor of a communist world government. And, it’s all a scam because Beck claims the Earth has seen no warming in the past decade.
—
Click me for better view
Not only that, but Arctic sea ice is increasing.
◾Cap and trade legislation is a “redistribution of wealth” scam and would give the president emergency powers to take over industries, and some cap and trade supporters are treasonous.
◾The Arab Spring isn’t about politics, it’s is about world domination. It’s the first step towards the emergence of a Muslim caliphate that would control the Mideast and parts of Europe.

 
Jan Brewer
Behold the Wicked Witch of the Southwest! (Where’s Dorothy and that damned house when you really need them?)
I spent my high school (Mesa Union High – “GO JACKRABBITS!“) and college (ASU - “Where The Bold Saguaros Raise Their Arms On High“) years in AZ.
I was a Republican. One of my friend’s father was a Republican state rep and the family of the “love of my life” was friends with the Goldwaters. Carl Hayden had been Senator since forever (actually since 1927). There was a “Right-to-work” law (aka “Right-to-screw-the-worker” law) and nobody liked the “beaners”. In other words, the state was conservative, and for that matter, so was I. (Good little Mormon lad and all that.)
Eventually, I left (escaped) and grew up (started thinking). I’d always assumed over the years that the state had grown up as well. After all, they had elected Raul Castro (no relation) in ’75 and Bruce Babbit in ’78. Of course there was also Ev Mecham in ’87, but they dumped him mid-term.
However, looking through their recent history, it appears I was a bit over-optimistic about the “growing up” part:
◾They still have the “screw-the-worker” law. (They aren’t even required to give lunch breaks.);
◾They enacted the “Show Me Your Papers” Law. (Raul Castro was detained recently on suspicion that he wasn’t an American citizen. He was caught “driving while Hispanic”.);
◾Maricopa County has probably the most bigoted law enforcement officer since Bull Connor. (Hopefully for not too much longer. The Feds are closing in on the “Toughest Sheriff in America“);
◾They passed a law that says that pregnancy begins at the end of your last period. (Even before the “fun stuff” happens.);
◾They passed another law that allows employers to deny insurance coverage for contraceptives based on the employer’s religious beliefs. (Hey, if we’re going to give employers’ religious beliefs control over employees, I want to work for a Rastafarian.);
◾They re-elected Jan Brewer.
“Jan-the-man” believes (You can’t use the word “thinks” in a sentence involving her.) that:
◾Most illegal immigrants are “drug mules”. (With absolutely no proof to back up her ridiculous claim.);
◾Law enforcement agencies have discovered beheaded bodies in the Arizona Desert. (That was a lie repudiated by county coroner’s offices, county sheriffs and the U.S. Border Patrol.)
◾The chairman of the Arizona Independent Redistricting Commission should be impeached for gross misconduct. (The gross misconduct in question was drawing congressional districts so there would be competitive races between the Democratic and Republican candidates.)
And, then there was the “Giving Obama the finger” incident.
 
Herman Cain
Mr. Niner, Niner, Niner hisself. Herman is one of a couple of people on this list who could actually make it as an “on purpose” comedian. (As opposed to an accidental one.)
He’s got the look, he’s got the presence, and he has a sense of humor. (Warped though it may be.) On top of all that, he’s “cutting edge” (if you’re a Republican’t) For instance his “Koch brother from another mother” joke was hilarious and brought down the house at the Americans for Prosperity gathering. (And, this is a group that hates interracial sex.)

Then there’s his “Electric Border Fence” and “Tiger Woods for President” routines. And, who can forget his uproarious “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan“?
With the right writers, WOW! I could see him headlining the Gridiron Dinner in a couple of years. For that matter, think about a Comedy Channel lineup of Stewart, Colbert & Cain. Dynamite ratings almost guaranteed. Plus, no one would ever bother about his extra-curricular sexual activities. I mean, that sort of thing is de rigueur with celebrities, right?
 
Ann Coulter
You’ve already met the Wicked Witch of the Southwest. Here’s the Wicked Witch of the Northeast. (And still no sign of Dorothy or the house.)
Some of the wing-nuts on the right are just downright stupid, some fake it for monetary or political benefit, and some are just damn mean.
Ann Coulter is the “Queen of Mean” (Sorry Loretta Hemsley, but you’re dead anyway and your dog doesn’t miss you):
◾“I have to say I’m all for public flogging” MSNBC (March 1997)
◾“That was the theme of the Million Mom March: I don’t need a brain — I’ve got a womb” For Womb the Bell Tolls” (May 2000)
◾“God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and rape the planet — it’s yours“
◾“I think [women] should be armed but should not vote … women have no capacity to understand how money is earned” Politically Incorrect (February 2001)
◾“We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.“
◾“My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building.”
◾“Liberals hate America…Liberals hate religion because politics is a religion substitute for liberals and they can’t stand the competition” Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right (2002)
◾“I’m getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.” New York Observer (10 January 2005)
◾“Frankly, I’m not a big fan of the First Amendment.” University of Florida (21 October 2005)
◾“I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo.”
There are a lot more examples, but I’m getting nauseous. However, I do want to close out with one final quote: “The reason propaganda works is that most people are too involved or too stupid to recognize it as propaganda.” Left Is ‘out to Destroy the Country’ (2002)
Careful baggers, she shoots to ill!
 
Victoria Jackson
This person is an SNL alumni? Seriously? Was she ever actually funny or was this during one of SNL’s ratings nadirs when they were scrambling for anything or anybody?
(She what? Her shtick was to stand on her head and recite poetry? You’re kidding. Really? Well, that explains a hell of a lot. But I gotta tell ya, Lorne must have been really loaded the day he hired her.)
I think this video clip of Vicky says it better than any verbiage I could summon up.

If you really have to know even more about TeaPee Vicky, check this bio out.
 
Rush  Limbaugh
Why waste words drawing a picture of Rush B.F.L.* Limbaugh when he can say it so much better. (*B.F.L.: Big Fat Liar)
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Rush’s greatest (s)hits:
◾“The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.”
◾“Let the unskilled jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do — let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work.
◾“Feminism is about victimization. Don’t forget Undeniable Truth of Life Number 24. Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.“
◾“Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.”
◾“This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation…I’m talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of the need to blow some steam off?” [on the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal]
◾[To an African American female caller]: “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.”
◾“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”
◾“You’re a foreigner. You shut your mouth or you get out.” [referring to Latinos]
◾ “He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He’s moving all around and shaking and it’s purely an act. … This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn’t take his medication or he’s acting.” [on an ad by Michael J. Fox]
◾President Barack Obama “hates this country,” and his philosophy appeals to “people with miserable, meaningless lives” and “people who don’t count,”
◾The feminists / feminazis went out there and there was a period of time in this country where every man and every husband was a predator by virtue of his existence alone, by virtue of just being a man. This is what the feminazis taught.
◾“They’re 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?” [referring to African-Americans]
◾“I hope he fails” [referring to Obama in January 2009]
I think that pretty well covers it, except for the Sandra Fluke “incident”
Well, once again, this particular section has grown entirely too big for a single post. So (hopefully, for the last time) I’m going to split it into two parts. Next episode, we’ll dissect Billo the clown, Saint Orum and several other creatures from strange planets. (Speaking of which, wait till you get a load of Planet Orly.)
Until then, be nice to each other. We all need all the friends we can get.
Grouchy

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
 
How can you disbelieve evolution if you can’t even define it?
In a logical world, this discussion (It’s not a debate. A debate requires two at least moderately equal sides.) would not even be happening. But, as we all know, this is not a logical world.
Before you ask why I lump creationism with intelligent(?)design. Btw it’s also called creation science. (Creative – it may be; science – it is not!) Instead of focusing on divine creation, neo-creationism tries to find loopholes in evolution based on misconceptions, misunderstandings and outright lies! However, its underlying thesis is that some magical creature created the universe.
There is one redeeming factor to intelligent(?)design – some of their counter-explanations are downright hilarious. Check out how they think the Grand Canyon was formed.
Total lack of understanding of geology.
Also, I would like to dispel a misunderstanding promoted by creationists. According to them, the Theory of Evolution is just that – a theory. In other words (theirs) a guess.
To the average person a “theory” is a guess. However, in science a “theory” is an explanation based on empirical evidence (i.e. “theory of gravity”). Empirical evidence, in case you are wondering, is evidence that is found by direct observation, experience or situation.
So, creationists either don’t even understand the basic terms of science 101 (high school level) or they’re intentionally lying to boost their cause and/or their pocketbook. (Remember, there’s a lot of book and speaking money to be considered.)
Btw, in science, a guess is called a “hypothesis”.
OK, you atheist propaganda monger. I get the picture. You hate God and everything he stands for, so you’re going to stack the deck in this post.
First of all, it’s pretty hard to hate something that doesn’t exist. And secondly, I will accurately portray creationists arguments. (Mainly because I think they’re damn silly, and I have a weakness for silly.)
In fact, I think I’ll follow their lead and primary arguments, and list their major (stated) objections to evolution. Hell, I’ll even give you the links to their arguments. The only requirement is that you also peruse the rebuttal links. (That is unless you don’t want to be confused by facts.)
I’m not going to address every minor bit of creationist nit-picking (that would take a very large book) but I will provide links that will answer them. However, the subject is still going to require two good-sized posts on my part.
This 1st part is primarily concerned with creationist objections and evolutionist refutations. It gets a bit technical so I’m going to take the liberty of translating some of the more technical concepts, where possible, into language that real people speak. (I don’t want you falling asleep in the middle of a rebuttal.)
The 2nd part is a lot more fun, at least for me. It covers creationist claims. Now, no fair jumping ahead to the 2nd part. (You have to eat your veggies before you can have desert.)
One final disclaimer: I DO NOT have a problem with the religious philosophy of any major religion. They all basically boil down to “The Golden Rule”. How could someone be against that?
Also “Some of my best friends are religious”. (Couldn’t resist using that line, but it’s true.) I have a number of devout friends who earnestly try to make the world a better place.
This isn’t about that or them. This is about religious mythology.
If you’ve read “There Are Not Two Sides to Every Story” (Still available from your friendly local “grouchy” blog.) you know that I don’t believe every story has two sides based on facts. This is one of those stories.
Why am I so certain that there are not two sides to this story? Well, for starters, 99.85% of all scientists of the relevant fields of earth and life sciences in the U.S. agree that biological evolution is a fact.
Wait a minute bunky! What about all those scientists that disagree with evolution?
You mean the 700 or so out of 480,000? Well, if you want to include high school science teachers as scientists (as creationists do) the percentage may be lower, but almost all “scientific” evolution dissenters tend to be in unrelated fields. (That’s like me, a communications grad, commenting on the validity of quantum theory.)

As a prime example of scientific dissenters in unrelated fields, there is the case of one Dr. Henry M. Morris PhD. (1918-2006)
Dr. Morris, according to no less an authority than the Institute for Creation Research, is widely recognized as the founder of the modern creation science movement. (Of course, Dr. Morris founded the ICR, so you might want to take that one with a grain or two of salt.)
But, WOW! A PhD created creation science? I’m impressed. NOT! (The man’s doctorate was in hydraulic engineering.)
Mr. Morris (the PhD really doesn’t apply here) had absolutely no scientific qualifications in any earth or life science.
Plus, it turns out that many of those professors and scientists the creationists claim have never stated support for their cause. They may have questions about certain aspects of evolution, but questioning is what good science is.

Sir Fred Hoyle, a very famous British astronomer is often quoted for his opposition. Sir Fred had his own idea: “The Steady-State Universe“.
He felt one of the main problems with Big Bang is that it implied a beginning, which to him, implied a creator. (Can you say cre-a-shun-is-m?) Unfortunately for Sir Fred, later observations destroyed the underpinnings of his idea and instead, supported Big Bang.

Creationists Objections and Evolutionist Refutations
Let us proceed by examining what creationists call the holes in the theory:
1) The scientific origin of the universe is wrong!
The theory of a big bang has been shaken with unresolvable inconsistencies, such as an unexpectedly uneven distribution of matter in the universe and a need for dark matter.
Well, that’s a bit of an overblown statement founded on some rather shaky ground.
First of all, remember the Big Bang is a theory as defined in science. (It’s not “The Big Bang Hypothesis”!)
That means that it is backed up by “direct observation, experience, or situation”. (As opposed to the magical manipulations imagined by ancient shepherds while imbibing on the local loco weed a bit too heavily.)
For instance, there’s Einstein’s (ol’ “E=MC square” himself) general theory of relativity that implies that the universe has to expand or contract. Hubble’s Law states the more distant a galaxy is, the faster it’s getting away from us. Both of these have been proven by observation. (Think “doppler shift”.)
If you reverse the timeline and take it back, oh say 13,700,000,000 years or so it all shrinks down to a very, very, very, small, very, very, very compact point called a singularity. Steven Hawking: The Large-Scale Structure of Space-Time (1973)
The Big Bang model predicted that there should be universal (as in everywhere) cosmic microwave background radiation (CMBR) with a temperature of about 3 degrees Kelvin (-454.27 degrees Fahrenheit).
When the CMBR was finally observed in 1965, the temperature checked in at 2.73 degrees k (-454.756 degrees Fahrenheit).
The CMBR is evenly distributed to about 1 part in 100,000, approximately the amount predicted by Big Bang. (So much for “unexpectedly uneven distribution”.)
The only model that predicts the observed abundances of primordial hydrogen, deuterium, helium and lithium in the universe is Big Bang. (Creationism is strangely silent on the issue.)
Once again, I’d like to point out that these are not observations to fit the theory. They are predicted by the theory and observed in reality!
Inconsistencies are not necessarily unresolvable. The clumpiness of the universe, for example (if you consider 1 part in 100,000 all that clumpy) was resolved by finding unevenness in the CMBR.
Oh, and before I forget, there is the question of dark matter.
Unlike the other side of the discussion, we don’t yet know all the “divine smoke dreams” of the universe. The universe has been at it for 13,700,000,000 years. We’ve been seriously studying it for less than 500. And, only the last 100 or so with decent tools.
We don’t know what dark matter is yet. Hell, we didn’t even guess it existed until 1933. We know it has gravity and it doesn’t show up on any radiation spectrum analysis. One hypothesis (guess) says that it might emanate from a parallel universe. We just don’t know yet.
But you see, that’s the thing about science. It’s all about the pursuit of the unknown. Examining, hypothesizing, predicting, observing, checking, rechecking and rechecking again and finally confirming or denying.
Creationism refuses to be held to those standards. (Some stoned shepherds said it was true, so don’t question anything.)
2) How could living creatures come from non-life?
a) Pasteur and other scientists disproved the concept of spontaneous generation and established the “law of biogenesis” – that life comes only from previous life. Watchtower Bible and Tract Society “Life – How Did It Get Here?” pg 38 (1985)

There is no “law” of biogenesis. Despite the name, biogenesis does not have the status of a scientific law. (No matter what creationists try to tell you.)
Biogenesis says that life cannot be created from nothing. It does not say that very primitive life cannot form from increasingly complex molecules.
The spontaneous generation that Pasteur and others disproved was the idea that life forms such as mice, maggots and bacteria can appear fully formed. (They disproved a form of creationism.)

 
Besides lying about the “law of biogenesis”, the statement omits the fact that “spontaneous generation” was Christian creationist dogma at the time.
Augustine of Hippo (Saint Augustine to all you “true believers”) discussed spontaneous generation in “The City of God” and “The Literal Meaning of Genesis“, citing Biblical passages such as “Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life” (Genesis 1:20) as decrees that would enable ongoing creation.
 
b) Abiogenesis assumes life was created by processes still operating today, so new life should still be appearing today. Henry M. Morris “Scientific Creationism” pg 46 (1985)
Did I mention that ol’ Hank had no pertinent background in life (or earth) science? Well, here’s another place where his stupid is showing.
First, for those of you not intimately acquainted with abiogenesis, it is the development of living organisms from nonliving matter.
The processes may still be operating today, but conditions are vastly different then they were early in earth’s history.
When life appeared there was almost no molecular oxygen available. Oxygen is reactive and interferes with the formation of complex organic molecules.
And before life there was no life.Life today would devour any complex molecules before they could turn into anything approaching new life. (You don’t think so? Hell, there are bacteria that eat rock. If you think anything half way organic is immune, think again.)
3) How could life have started without a creator?
The most primitive cells are too complex to have come together by chance.  Henry M. Morris “Scientific Creationism” pp 59-69 (1985)
Hank’s back with another dazzling display of dumb!
Biochemistry does not occur by chance. It follows a strict set of rules as does all the physical universe. It inevitably produces complex products. Doesn’t even require a planet to work. The basic building blocks of life, including amino acids and other complex molecules are even known to form in space.

Also, nobody knows what the most primitive cells were like. All existing cells are the result of billions of years of evolution. The earliest self-replicators were very likely much simpler than those alive today. Plus, self-replicating molecules don’t need to be all that complex and protein-building systems can also be simple.
 
4) Physics proves evolution is impossible!
The second law of thermodynamics says that everything tends toward disorder, making evolutionary development impossible.  Henry M. Morris “Scientific Creationism” pp 38-46 (1985)
Strike three! With Hank, that PhD really does seem to stand for Piled higher & Deeper.
He’s lying of course. The second law of thermodynamics says no such thing.
It says that heat won’t spontaneously flow from a colder body to a warmer one (well, duh!) or, equivalently, that total entropy in a closed system will not decrease.
For those of us without a degree in physics, entropy is a measure of the energy that is NOT available for work during a thermodynamic process. A closed system evolves toward a state of maximum entropy. (In other words: everything eventually comes to a dead stop.)
The problem for ol’ Hank and his buds, is that the earth is not a closed system.It’s power source (the sun) is external. Sunlight, with low entropy, shines on it; and heat, with higher entropy, radiates off. This flow of energy, and the change in entropy that accompanies it, can and will power local decreases in entropy on earth.
If the low entropy / high entropy bit is a bit confusing? (Well, it was to me at first.) Think of it this way: You’re camping by a lake at night. You look across the lake and see the light from the campfires on the other side (low entropy) but the heat (high entropy) has dissipated long before it gets to you.
The only processes necessary for evolution to occur are reproduction, heritable variation, and selection. All these are seen to happen all the time, so obviously, no physical laws are being broken.
5) Evolution makes a monkey out of me!

 a) Human and dinosaur footprints have been found together in Cretaceous rocks of the Paluxy riverbed near Glen Rose, Texas.  Henry M. Morris “Scientific Creationism” pg 122 (1985)
The git just keeps on giving.
At Paluxy, the “human footprints” are really tridactyl (three toed) dinosaur tracks that have been partially filled in by natural processes. Once clean, they no longer look human. Plus, some of the “human” tracks are from 16 to19 inches long. (Must have been a hell of a huge human!)
b) There are no transitional fossils. Evolution predicts a continuum between each fossil organism and its ancestors. Instead, we see systematic gaps in the fossil record.  Henry M. Morris “Scientific Creationism” pp 78-90 (1985); Watchtower Bible and Tract Society “Life – How Did It Get Here?” pp 57-59 (1985)
Hank’s back again and this time he’s brought friends. (But they’re still just purveyors of west-end extrusions from an east-bound bull.)
There are quite a few transitional fossils, and more being discovered. (A transitional fossil is a fossil that shows a mosaic of features from older as well as more recent organisms.)
Are there gaps? Of course there are. The conditions required for fossilization occur quite rarely. But even so, we find gradations in fossils. Way too many to list here, so I’ll just concentrate on some human transitional fossils.
 
Australopithecus afarensis (3.9 to 3.0 million years ago (Mya)) Its skull is similar to a chimpanzee’s but with more humanlike teeth. Most (possibly all) creationists would call this an ape, but it was bipedal.
 
Australopithecus africanus (3.0 to 2.0 Mya) Its brain size (420-500 cc) was slightly larger than A. afarensis, and its teeth were even more human like.
 
 Homo habilis (2.4 to 1.5 Mya) was similar to Australopithecines, but used tools and had a larger brain (650 cc) and a less projecting face.
 
Homo erectus (1.8 to 0.3 Mya) Earlier H. erectus had a brain size around 900 cc, which grew to around 1,100 cc in later ones. For reference, modern human brains average 1350 cc. (Of course, not all humans use all of their brains all of the time.)
For more examples of transitional fossils (human and otherwise) click on the pic below.
(A) Pan troglodytes (modern chimpanzee)
(B) Australopithecus africanus (2.6 My)
(C) Australopithecus africanus (2.5 My)
(D) Homo habilis (1.9 My)
(E) Homo habilis (1.8 My)
(F) Homo rudolfensis (1.8 My)
(G) Homo erectus (1.75 My)
(H) Homo ergaster early H erectus (1.75 My)
(I) Homo heidelbergensis “Rhodesia man” (300,000 – 125,000 y)
(J) Homo sapiens neanderthalensis (70,000 y)
(K) Homo sapiens neanderthalensis (60,000 y)
(L) Homo sapiens neanderthalensis (45,000 y)
(M) Homo sapiens sapiens Cro-Magnon (30,000 y)
(N) Homo sapiens sapiens modern
OK, in fairness, the leading creationists distance themselves from the following “objection”. However, it just keeps popping up in anti-evolution propaganda and it is so down right hilarious that I just have to include it:
c) If we are descended from apes, why are there still apes around? (Or, as TalkOrigins rephrased it: “If many Americans and Australians are descended from Europeans, why are there still Europeans around?”)
I’ll let you work this one out all by yourself.
And finally, we come to the absolute clincher (if you’re a troglodyte):
6) THE BIBLE SAYS SO!!!!
a) God’s word, the bible, must be our ultimate authority. The bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it. Jonathan Sarfati “Refuting Compromise” pg 17 (2004)
b) The bible, being God’s revealed word, is without error or fault in everything it teaches, including what it says about creation, historical events, and its own origin. Scientific study of the earth cannot be used to overturn scriptural accounts of creation and the flood. International Council on Biblical Inerrancy “The Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy” (1978)

And it wouldn’t be right to finish this post without one last visit from good ol’ Hank:
c) Genesis must be literal; it is straightforward narrative. Henry M. Morris “The Literal Week of Creation” (1998)
I’ll get into this a hell of a lot more in pt 2 “People who don’t want their beliefs laughed at shouldn’t have such funny beliefs“.
For now, I’ll just do a quick demolition of the above.
a) This claim is guilty of “my way or the highway” dogmatism in the 1st degree. It has absolutely no basis for its conclusion other than “my view is the ultimate authority”. More than a few wars have been fought over this brand of rubbish.
b) I googled the International Council on Biblical Inerrancy, and much to my surprise (NOT!) it turned to be a collection of right-wing evangelical (or is that a double negative?) bible thumpers. But, that’s beside the point.
I’m not even going to comment on the social problems that any type of inerrancy causes. That would take far too long.
Instead, I’m just going to list a few instances of “inerrancy”:
◾The earth is immobile 1st Chronicles 16:30, has ends or edges Job 37:3 and has four corners Isaiah 11:12, Revelations 7:1;
◾Also, the earth rests on pillars 1st Samuel 2:8;
◾And, btw, it’s small and flat enough to be seen in it’s entirety from a mountain Matthew 4:8;
◾Rabbits chew their cud Leviticus 11:6 (I didn’t even know they had one.);
◾Insects including grasshoppers have four legs Leviticus 11:20-23 (Mutilated bugs anyone?);
◾Some four-legged animals fly Leviticus 11:21 (Well yah, dragons do. But they’re kind of mythological as well.);
◾Turtles have voices Song of Solomon 2:12 (Hmm, and all this time I’ve been listening to whales.)
Those are just a few of many, many examples, but this post is too long already.
And, since we’re speaking of “God’s revealed word”, the bible says a lot of other stupid things:
◾If you work on the sabbath, you should be put to death. Exodus 35:2-3
◾If you curse, you should be stoned to death. Leviticus 24:14-15 (Is it all right if I just get “stoned” instead? That would be a lot more fun.)
◾You should kill your child if he strikes you. Exodus 21:15
◾Women should be subjugated by their husbands. 1st Peter 3:1-7
◾Happiness is smashing children upon the rocks. Psalms 137:9
You know, this last list sounds an awful lot like Sharia Law to me.
c) Evidence that ol’ Hank didn’t grade well in English either.
Straightforward narrative does not imply literalness! Myths, fables, fantasies, parables, analogies and just plain writing exercises are all typically straightforward narrative. Simply saying that a writing is narrative does not indicate how to interpret it.
One last thing before I wrap up this post:
For those of you who think I’ve been picking on poor ol’ Hank (and I have). It’s because in my opinion, he’s either the dumbest PhD I’ve ever heard of, or he was lying to fatten his wallet. Personally, I think it’s the latter. (I hope our educational system isn’t that out of whack.) In either case, the man isn’t worthy of any respect. I don’t respect stupid, and I certainly don’t respect lying.
OK, we’ve got the heavy slogging out-of-the-way. IT’S MILLER TIME!
Take a break and on to pt 2. (It’s a lot more fun!)
Grouchy
 
 
 
 

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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
 
People who don’t want their beliefs laughed at shouldn’t have such funny beliefs.
Welcome back and congratulations for slogging through pt 1. This part’s a lot more fun. Plus, it doesn’t get all science-y on you. (Well, maybe just a little bit.)
Creationist Claims
Hmmm……..Creationism?…….That’s the one with the talking snake and the invisible man in the sky that loves you and orders you to love him back (while simultaneously kissing his backside) or he’ll make you suffer hell for all eternity. Right?
 (Or was that the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I sometimes have a hard time discerning the difference.)
But, I mean, it must be! The people pushing Creationism are Christian troglodytes.
(trog-lo-dyte: n. a) A person considered to be reclusive, reactionary and out of date. b) A cave man.) Both work in this instance, although cave men had bigger brains.)
These people believe that every word in the bible is direct from Yhwh’s mouth to your eye. (Think about that image for a minute or so.) Although, they can never quite agree which version of their mythology is the really, really, truly correct one. Btw, Yhwh is God’s original name. (Early Semites didn’t know about vowels, among other things.) Yhwh was sometimes referred to as “He who must not be named”. (There are other similarities to Lord Voldemort as well.)
There you go again! At least half of Americans believe in Creationism. Admit it!
Well, 50% has been claimed but according to Gallup, the highest percentage reported for “strict creationists” was 47% and that was 12 years ago. In the latest poll (December, 2010) the number was 38%.
In the same 12 year span, believers in evolution (with Yhwh’s help) remained around 36-38%, while “strict evolution” believers about doubled their percentage.
Of the “strict creationists” in the last poll, 60% were weekly church goers and 50% were Republican. What was also interesting was that 47% of those with a high school diploma or less believed in Creationism compared with 37% among college grads and 22% among post-grads. (I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on this comparison.)
But remember, just because you believe or have faith in something doesn’t make it real. Millions of people have had faith in Zeus, Ra, Enki, Odin, Igwekaala and Joe Pesci. (Joe was George Carlin’s personal prayer answerer. George said Joe worked out the same (about 50/50) as any of the others.)
The sad thing is that out of 34 countries, only Turkey scores higher in evolution doubters. (So much for science education in the U.S.)
OK, back to the Jewish-Christian creation myth, which btw is a mixing of the Babylonian creation myth (Enuma Elish) (which predates it by several hundred years) with Sumerian and other myths from even earlier. In fact, the word Eden’s etymology traces back to the 2nd millennium BCE. It was an Akkadian word (e-di-in) meaning steppe or plain. The Akkadian empire, of course was based in Akkad (later named Babylon).
Most real biblical scholars believe that the Torah, i.e. the Pentateuch; i.e. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers & Deuteronomy, was written on and after 621 BCE,
Since Moses was supposed to be born in 1393 BCE, no matter what the folklore is, he didn’t write the Pentateuch. That is, unless he was a schizophrenic writer and lived to be 1000 years old. The writing styles are very different in the various books or even chapters. (Genesis1 and Genesis 2 were not only written by different people, they disagree and contradict each other.)
Speaking of Moses, that reminds me of a question I’ve always had. How come the Egyptians, who were among the best record keepers in the ancient world, never mention Moses, the plagues or all those Hebrew slaves escaping over a temporarily dry Red Sea?
Seems to me the events would have caused enough commotion to at least be mentioned. You know, like the death of the Egyptian “first-borns”. I mean, come on, somebody had to notice.
Then there was the time the earth stopped spinning at 1000 miles per hour, waited “a whole day” and then restarted. Joshua 10:12-13 It’s the damnedest thing, but nobody else in the world even noticed that either. (Not the Egyptians, not the Assyrians, not the Minoans, not the Greeks, not the Chinese, not the Mesoamericans, nobody!) Of course, if it really had happened, everybody would be dead anyway.
But, that’s later on. Right now, it’s Genesis time.
I can think of no better way to accurately portray creationists’ beliefs than to let the source material speak for itself. I’m going to use the King James version primarily because that’s the one I grew up on and the language is more poetic. Besides, all the versions are “GOD’S WORD“! We’ll go at it verse by verse with comments (snarks) where appropriate.
GENESIS
Chapter 1
1     In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. (You know, I’ve always wondered – where did Yhwh stand, sit, lay down or whatever when he did that. If neither heaven nor  earth existed, where in Hell was he?)
 2     And the earth was without form (So, it was like a gas instead of a solid? Or, what?) and void (void: adj. Containing no matter; empty. n. a. An empty space. b. A vacuum.) (Now I’m really confused! Big Daddy created the earth, but it didn’t have any form and it couldn’t be a gas because there was nothing there??? Sounds to me like he created a big, fat nothing!) and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. (OK, the darkness I can buy, but if the earth was all a big nothing, how could there be a deep? Or a shallow for that matter.) And the Spirit of God (A disembodied spirit (ghost)? If I said I saw one of those critters, I’d be spending significant time hatching nuts at the state fantasy farm.) moved upon the face of the waters. (Waaait a minute! Where did the waters come from? We were just told there wasn’t anything there.)
 3     And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. (Just one quick question: If the sun, moon and stars hadn’t been invented yet, what the heck was the light source? A bunch of candles?)
 4     And God saw the light, that [it was] good: and God divided the light from the darkness. (Since darkness is the absence of light, what’d he do? Draw a curtain across the universe? Oops. Sorry, I forgot he hadn’t invented the universe yet. So what did he do and how did he do it? Or is this one of those “divine secrets” we’re not supposed to ask about?)
 5     And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. (Only fair. He who invents gets to name.) And the evening and the morning were the first day. (I’d congratulate the old boy on a hard day’s work, and maybe heaven was a chore, but earth was a big nothing so far.)
 6     And God said, Let there be a firmament (Firmament, if you’re not familiar with Middle English (I wasn’t) means sky.) in the midst of the waters (Again with the waters! I must have missed the part where it said he invented water.) and let divide the waters from the waters. (So…..he took a portion of the water he invented(?) and sent it off into space? Why’d he invent so much of it in the first place?)
7     And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which [were] under the firmament from the waters that [were] above the firmament; and it was so. (Ahhhh. Now I get it. That’s the explanation for rain. It’s water that got trapped up in space and is trying to escape back down to the bottom.)
 8     And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. (A bit of confusion going on here. Yhwh created the firmament today and called it Heaven, but verse 1 said that he created Heaven yesterday. Which is it? Inquiring minds want to know.)
9     And God said Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear; and it was so. (Well, that would explain those sea shells on Mt Everest, except that Yhwh hadn’t invented sea shells yet.)
10    And God called the dry [land] earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that [it was] good. (No snark on this one. Like I said, you make it, you brand it. And, it could have been worse. He could have named the dry [land] Fred. Then we’d all be living on planet Fred.)
 11     And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth; and it was so. (And there, boys and girls, we have the answer to an age old mystery. After all, if the herb preceded the seed and the tree preceded the fruit, it stands to reason the chicken preceded the egg. We’re still trying to figure out why he crossed the road.)
12    And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after his kind; and God saw that [it was] so. (Of course, that was the same day he invented poison ivy, oak and sumac, stinging nettle and skunk cabbage as well. This was not so good.)
13    And the evening and the morning were the third day. (If you think today was busy, just wait till tomorrow!)
 14    And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven (redundancy?) to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for season, and for days and years. (I’m going to hold off comment until days end, which is sundown, in case you haven’t noticed. However, keep in mind the last part of this verse.)
15    And let them be for the lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth; and it was so.
16    And God made two great lights;
 the greater light to rule the day,
 and the lesser light to rule the night:
 [he made] the stars also.
17    And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18    And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that [it was] good.
19    And the evening and the morning were the fourth day. (Today was light source day, probably because Yhwh’s candles were running low. Anyway, what really blows me away is that Yhwh created over 200,000,000,000 galaxies with an average of 100,000,000,000 stars each, just so we could have a calendar. And, he did it all in one day! Come on gang, that rates at least a standing ovation. Let’s hear it for the big guy.)
20    And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl [that] may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. (So birds originated in the waters? Well, I knew that there are flying fish, but I never realized….)
21    And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. (Is it just me, or do any of you detect just a slight bit of hubris going on here?)
 22    And God blessed them, saying Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. (If you think I’m going to insert a pic of animals having sex, sorry, but that’s too gross even for me.)
23    And the evening and the morning were the fifth day. (TGIF!)
       Ooo! Saturday morning. All my tiredness has gone away. (Oops, that’s Fats Domino. Sorry ’bout that.)
24    And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. And God saw that [it was] good. (Well, you got to admit, Yhwh was never shy about tooting his own horn.)
25    And God made the beast of the earth after his own kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth.
I’m going to interrupt for just a minute.
Sadly, many of the beasts, besides the dinosaurs, are no longer with us and deserve a brief mention.
Gone are the cockatrices: Jeremiah 1:17;
 
the satyrs: Isaiah 13:21;
 
the fiery serpents: Numbers 21:6;
 
the unicorns: Isaiah 34:7;
 
the leviathans: Psalms 74:13-14, Job 41 and Isaiah 27:1;
 
and the dragons: Malachi 1:3 and 15 other references.
 
 Also missing in action are vampires (sorry Twilight fans): John 6:53-57
 
and the zombies. Of course, the most notable zombies, by strict definition, were Lazarus and Jesus. (That ought to stir up a hornet’s nest or six.)
Many of the modern versions of the bible have changed these creatures into more believable ones. Which begs the question: Which versions are lying? The older ones including King James or the newer ones? But how can that be since they are all “THE WORD OF GOD!!!”?
OK, back to the book.
26    And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness  (OUR??? Is there more than one Yhwh, or is he going “royal” on us?) and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27    So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Which brings up another question: Did Adam & Eve have navels?)
28    And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, (Hey! Yhwh’s pro sex? Do wingnut evangelicals know about this?…..Never mind! I forgot! It was they who invented the “Missionary” i.e. “boring” position.) and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Repeats himself a lot, doesn’t he? I wonder if that’s caused by the onset of alzheimer’s.)
29    And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which [is] the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. (So, being anti-marijuana is against Yhwh’s wishes? Hmmmm, The Rastafarians are right!)
30    And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein [there is] life, [I have given] every green herb (see Rastafarian comment). for meat: and it was so.
31    And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold, [it was] very good. ( I swear, this dude’s ego is just not to be believed. Probably stems from a massive and deep seated inferiority complex.) And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. (Busy week!)
I’m not going to give the same treatment to the rest of Genesis. (This post would be longer than “War & Peace”.) But I would like to  make a few appropriate stops as we pass through.
 Chapter 2
You’ll be glad to know that Yhwh got to sleep in on Sunday. (Guess he didn’t have to be at church.) He’d worked all week, and he was bushed.
The first few verses are a recap of chapter 1. Except that the writer of chapter 2 forgot to coordinate with the writer of chapter 1, so there are several contradictions. I’d point them out, but I think I’ve beaten this horse to death already.
The rest of the chapter deals with the garden and it’s creation and location. The problem is that location doesn’t seem to exist. (Should have used “holy GPS” I guess.) Also, the subservient creation of womb-man is covered a bit differently than chapter 1.
Chapter 3
Enter the talking snake! And, did you know, not only could they talk (I wonder if they spoke with a lisp.) but they still had legs at this point? At least until verse 14: “Upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shall thou eat all the days of the life.” By inference, before then snakes didn’t crawl, so they had to have legs. Unless they just flew of course.
The snake spends the first few verses conning Eve into eating the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. (I find it interesting that Yhwh didn’t want Adam and Eve to know the difference between good and evil. Or maybe he didn’t want them to know any version but his. Religions are like that. A lot! Then again, maybe it was just plain knowledge he was begrudging them. Religions do that a lot too.)
Anyway, Eve eats the fruit (Nowhere does it say it was an apple.) and shares with Adam. Why is it always the woman that screws it up? (Remember Pandora and her box? Same end result.)
Yhwh finds out and kicks them out of the garden. Well, at least they didn’t die that day like he said they would. Genesis 2:17 (Which means either Yhwh was non-precient, or he was a liar. Your choice.)
Chapter 4
This chapter tells the story of Cain and Abel. Christian, Jew or Muslim, we’ve all heard the story. I’m going to skip to verse 17 because I’m curious about something.
By this point, Cain had moved to the land of Nod. I always thought that’s where you went when you slept. But, it turns out that Nod is not a real location. It’s the Hebrew root of the verb “to wander”
“And Cain knew his wife and she conceived, and bare Enoch” Wait just a minute here! If Adam and Eve are the parents of all humanity, where did Cain’s wife come from? She had to be his sister. (Can you say INCEST?) Evidently, this must have been the case for a few generations. (Nobody but family to dance the “horizontal mambo” with.)
Now, I’ve heard some creationists say that there was no incest. That Yhwh created special mates for a few generations so that Adam’s family wouldn’t have to indulge in that sin. The problem with that is that it’s not in the bible. And, according to creationists themselves, if it ain’t in the bible, it didn’t happen. (Plus, if Yhwh made people for sex, wouldn’t that mean that Big Daddy is really the original Pimp Daddy?)
The remainder of the chapter is all “begats” i.e. Enoch > Irad > Mehujael > Methusael > Lamech > etc.
Chapter 5
More begats with some very unbelievable life spans as well: 930 years (Adam); 912 years (Seth); 969 years (Methuselah); etc. Having a bit of knowledge of living conditions back then, I wouldn’t even believe 969 months (about 74 1/4 years using the lunar calendar.)
Chapters 6-9
And so, we come to our final stop. I only come this far because creationists use “The Flood” to explain away a lot of evolution.
Lets see……Utnapishtim (Noah) and the flood.
In the original Gilgamesh flood myth, it happened sometime before 2100 BCE. Jewish scholars place it in 2150 BCE.
That must have come as quite a shock to a lot of already existing bronze and iron age civilizations in Egypt, Ireland, India, Greece, Peru, Ukraine, China and a lot of other places. Funny thing is, every one of them forgot to mention it happening during their time. (Are you beginning to notice a pattern here?)
For those civilizations that did have a flood myth, the flooding always happened way back in their own distant past.
So yah, there are a lot of tsunamis and flash floods from various natural causes as well.
Some of the flood myths may be ancient tales of the flooding of the Black Sea. (circa 5600 BCE)
Another hypothesis proposed by the Holocene Impact Working Group, a group of very eminent scientists, (Google ‘em. You’ll see what I mean. Not a hydrological engineer in the bunch.) is that a meteor or comet crashed into the Indian Ocean (around 3000-2800 BCE) creating the 19 mile undersea Burckle Crater and generating a giant tsunami that flooded coastal lands.
But, the problem for creationists is that there is absolutely no credible physical evidence of a simultaneous world-wide flood, and there should be lots.
Plus to cover the entire earth (including the Andes, the Himalayas, etc) the water would have to raise it’s level over six miles. (Where the hell did all that water come from? For that matter, where did it go?)
Then there’s the ark, which brings me to a couple of things I’ve always been curious about:
1) How did Noah round up all the world’s animals? (Penguins too? He must have taken a quick trip to Antarctica. Probably stopped off in Australia to pick up some kangaroos and wallabies on the way.) Oh! That’s right! He did forget all the dinosaurs! (Damn, why couldn’t he forget the mosquitoes as well?)
2) How did he get all those animals on one little boat? I mean, just counting mammal, reptile, amphibian and bird species, that’s over 31,000 pairs (62,000 animals) and that’s not even considering the over 1,100,000 species of insects and spiders. (They couldn’t survive under water all that time so they had to go along.) I’ll give him a pass on fish, although most ocean fish wouldn’t survive in fresh water because of homeostasis. (All that rain would dilute the salt content of the upper ocean to fresh water level. If they went low enough to escape it, the pressure would crush them.)
Plus, the animals had to be kept from eating each other so enough food had to be taken along to last at least 230 days for 62,000 animals, plus all those insects and spiders. (I am a bit curious as to what they fed the spiders.)
And, what about all that shit? 200 men couldn’t keep pace cleaning it up. And Utnapishtim, I mean Noah, only had his family along.
Now, it seems to me that a menagerie that size would require at least two or three Ultra Large Container Vessels (1300 ft long, 183 ft wide & 50 ft draft) (Those “little” containers on the ship are box car sized).
However, the dimensions of the ark: “the length of the ark 300 cubits, its breadth 50 cubits, and its height 30 cubits” Genesis 6:15. This is equivalent to a length of 487 feet, a breadth of 81 feet and a total height of 49 feet. (1 Babylonian cubit = 19.5 inches.) That’s about the size of a World War II liberty ship.
But, then again, maybe it was a magical ark, much like the tents in the Harry Potter books that evangelicals hate.
Anyway, that about wraps it up for this episode. There’s a lot more to be said, but I’m not writing a book, just a very long post. For more info, follow my links.
I’ve had a lot of fun poking fun at creationist mythology. But, to be honest with you, I wouldn’t give a damn what these clowns believe if they didn’t try to force their stupidity on other people – especially impressionable school children. If there really was a Hell, there would be a special spot for these idiots.
May the farce be with you!
Grouchy

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5 thoughts on “The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)”
Mr. Evil on June 18, 2012 at 20:59 said:
 
You’re definitely the kind of person I’d like to have a beer with. Does this mean you’re running for president? jk
Your posts are the very much the same type of arguments I’ve used to awaken the willfully dumbed-down to no avail. The fear is so ingrained into their psyche’ that they are beyond redemption (pardon the pun).
One question I’ve always wondered about is why do religious people get defensive to the point of physical violence when confronted with the contradictions or outright falsehoods of the bible (or any other religious text)? Could it be that they hate finding out that they are dumb and resort to the ‘might makes right’ scenario? Or could they just be trying to score some style points with (their) god?
I’ll have a beer (or several) and ponder it some more. Thanx for a great website and your good humor!
Reply ↓
 
Daveon June 18, 2012 at 22:11 said:
 
Thanks for your kind words. Not running for president. Been around too many politicians to ever want to be one.
As to your question about religious defensiveness: The problem is that when you confront them, you are calling into question the (supposed) foundations of their lives and their defenses jump into high gear. Some of them have never learned that religion doesn’t make you a better person, you make you a better person. The worst of them are really afraid that you’re right they’re wrong, and they can’t even allow themselves to think about that.
As I’ve stated, I have no problem with the philosophy of any major religion, it’s forcing the mythology on people that I have major problems with.
Anyway, thanks again for your comment. I’m just starting out with this blog and encouragement helps a lot. Spread the word if you have friends that might enjoy ‘ol Grouchy.
Reply ↓
 
 

Idaho Spud on June 28, 2012 at 07:13 said:
 
I like how well you debunk religious BS and especially the humor you throw-in for no extra charge.
Some of your comments I’ve not heard before. One of my favorites is “A debate requires two at least moderately equal sides.” Excellent. Thanks.
By the way, I’m 70 and have been calling myself a curmudgeon for a few years now, but I like your phrase “an old grouch”.
Reply ↓
 

onyango makagutu on August 11, 2012 at 13:54 said:
 
this is very interesting. i like the illustrations and the brief comments accompanying the verses. theists should visit this site more and hopefully we will have some real change in the world.
Reply ↓
 
Daveon August 11, 2012 at 23:00 said:
 
Thank you for your kind words about the blog. Spread the word! I’m aslo on Facebook as “Grouchy’s Grumbles”. I try to update it several times a week with pertinent little tidbits and more of my mad ramblings.
Reply ↓
 
 
 
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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
 
Years ago (decades actually, but who’s counting) I was majoring in Mass Communications at Arizona State University. Several of the classes leading to that degree were of the journalism variety and one of the first things they taught us was that reporting the news required impartiality. (Are you listening, Faux Noise?………….Probably not!)
I remember hearing “A good reporter knows there are two sides to every story and tracks down both of them”.
Sounds great! Give the public both sides so that they can decide for themselves. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t even work in an “ideal world”, let alone the one we’re stuck with.
Let’s talk about “journalistic impartiality” as it exists in the “Tame-Stream Media”.
That’s “Tame-Stream Media“, not “Lame-Stream Media”. When Sister Sarah and her ilk use the term “Lame-Stream Media”, it’s usually in response to getting caught in another lie. That is, when someone actually has the guts to call them on it. Which brings us back to “Tame-Stream Media”.
To explain what I’m talking about, let’s start by examining a term that gets bandied about quite a bit (usually by wingnuts of the far right): “The Liberal Media“. This is a term that’s a prime example of “Orwellian double-speak” (You have read 1984, haven’t you?) It would be hilarious if it weren’t so sadly ironic.
The liberal media, other than a few outposts such as “The Nation”, the recently departed Current TV, some minor league alternative newspapers, and a few commentators here and there, doesn’t much exist. Practically all major media: broadcast and print, is owned by very large corporations with executives that tend to be pro-business (Surprise! Surprise!) and pretty conservative. And yes, that includes MSNBC! (Which explains a lot of the goings-on lately).
The New York Times’ masthead logo is “All the news that’s fit to print”, but that goes back to 1896. A more proper logo for most modern media is “Don’t rock the boat”! Besides the aforementioned corporate management, there are also advertisers to be considered.
Let me rephrase that a little more sharply: There is also advertising MONEY to be considered. If you expose Sarge’s Auto Service for using sub-standard auto parts and charging for brand names; or you get too aggressive after B-Pee kills a couple thousand square miles of sea life – well, they’re just not going to spend their bucks with your portion of the media, are they?
And, big media needs lots of bucks. All that gear and all that talent(?) and all those executive salaries don’t come cheap! So, best not to get too ambitious unless you are absolutely forced to. In other words, “Don’t rock the boat!” Distract the populi with garbage like the Casey Anthony trial or whatever part of her anatomy Britney exposed this time.
Then we come to reporters…………….
Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t conscientious reporters out there. Hell! I was one of them critters many years past. Unfortunately, there are far too many that are either too time pressed or too lazy to do the job correctly.
Let me give you a quick example: A few years ago, I was working with a neighborhood poverty group that was part of a larger city-wide umbrella group (PMSC). Part of my job description required me to be involved a bit with PMSC.
A controversy came up in PMSC and the Feds came in to check out the situation. I spent my days working with my group, PMSC and the Feds. When I would go home at night and turn on the local “news”, what was reported had nothing at all to do with what was going on. The TV reporters would come to meetings, stay a few minutes, interview the loudest complainers (sane or not) and then leave before the meeting concluded.
Comprehending and explaining the situation required time and hard work. Interviewing a nut-case made for good video. Guess which one won out.
Speaking of local stations, almost all (if not all) of them are consultant driven as oppose to news driven. You know the type: “If it bleeds, it leads”, every hair in place, perfect teeth, inane chatter between the “news” stories, pile of mediocrity. Lots of human-interest items and “soft” news. Nothing too complicated to where the viewer might actually have to think about it.
In fact, most news departments seem to have two mottos:
1.“If it’s news to (our town)….it’s news to us”.
2.“Don’t piss our advertisers off”!
Btw, Social Programs Are Funded To Fail, but that’s the title and topic of a whole ‘nother post I’m working on. (Hey, give me a break! I’ve only got two hands and a partially functioning brain and these things take time to research and write.)
Then there are the political reporters.
I have no doubt that a number of them are extremely competent and not at all like the type I described a couple of paragraphs back. However, let us take a look at a basic fact: Whether they cover local, state or national politics, success is built on access. Reporters spend their careers cultivating relationships with politicians. For that matter, politicians spend their careers cultivating relationships with reporters.
If the relationship clicks, the reporter gets lots of information. Information mostly of the “hurrah for me and/or my party” or “the other politician and/or party is an agent of evil” variety, but information nevertheless.
The politician, in return, gets a number of things. First and foremost he/she gets publicity. Not only publicity, but free publicity. not only free publicity, but self-directed, self glorifying free publicity. The very best kind! And, did I mention that it’s all free?
Reporters also come in handy for politicians in other ways. For instance, if a politician’s side is losing an argument legislatively, he can always leak “vital information” that just happens to bolster his particular side. That’s where a lot of those “unnamed sources” come from. Hedrick Smith, a world-class political reporter himself, describes the process with numerous examples in his book “The Power Game”.
Meanwhile, back to the reporter. In fact, for this exercise, you’re the reporter.
Here’s the situation: You’ve spent years developing a relationship with Senator Sam. It’s paid off numerous times when the “scoops” he gave you turned to be actual news. And, of course, you always made sure he came off well those times in which he wanted to be credited.
Then one day, you come across verified information that he regularly indulges in several activities he publicly condemns. It’s nothing really criminal (depending on which state it occurred in) but it does run contrary to the base that he’s built his career on.
His supporters, in this case, do have a right to know. But if you go with the story, you lose the relationship and a major source dries up, even if he wins the recall vote.
Do you go it or do you blow it?
You’re gonna go with it? Congratulations! You got guts, kid!
You write up (tape) the story and hand it to your editor (producer). He checks it out and since it’s “explosive” and about Senator Sam, he runs it up the ladder to the publisher (station manager).
Well, it just so happens that the newspaper’s (TV station’s) corporate owners have some business coming up with one of Senator Sam’s committees and the last thing they need is an irate senator asking embarrassing questions. So, maybe they’ll just let the story simmer for a bit. You know, just to see if anything else pops up.
Oh, and there’s this great opening at their Fargo N.D. paper (TV station) that you’d be just perfect for.
And then, of course, there are the “headline sluts” like Sister Sarah. (aka more populi distractions)
Most of the time when someone like her says jump, the media not only asks “How high?”, but also “Can I jump even higher?” Case in point: her little east coast political vacation stunt. She had the media jumping all over while she was publicly laughing at them for doing so.
And, when she brings up something like “Obama’s Death Panels” which were actually federally subsidized “end-of-life” conversations with doctors (something Republicans used to be in favor of), very few reporters called her on it. Of course, unless you’re a Faux Noise reporter, she probably wouldn’t talk to you. (Her Katie Couric interviews taught her that much anyway.)
Now, the unspoken (except Rodger Ailes did let it slip once) rational behind the coverage that she, and others like her, receive is that “SHE SELLS“! She sells more copies of the morning edition, the weekly news mag, the paparazzi publications, the talk shows.
She, and the others are “good for business”. Notice I didn’t say “good for the country” or “good for anyone at all”. Just good for the old bottom line. And, btw, “the old bottom line” is more of a conservative principle than a liberal one.
Oh, and on a side note – there really are “Death Panels”. They’re the private insurance committees that decide whether or not they will pay for life-preserving care.
So, what we have in the good old U.S.A. is a conservative corporate media structure that’s adverse to making waves (i.e. tattling on their money sources) and reporters whose careers (and salaries) depend on keeping a cozy relationship with the very people they’re supposed to be reporting on. And that’s just he regular media. Propaganda machines like the Murdock media empire (Fox News, NY Post, Wall Street Journal, etc.) are a whole breed all to themselves and really deserve a separate post.
With all this, the media still has to maintain the aura of impartiality and that’s where the “two sides to every story” angle comes in.
In many, many cases there really are two (or more) sides to a story, however in some cases there’s really only one side that’s actually based on fact.
What’s a poor “impartial” media outlet supposed to do in those situations?
In far too many cases, they simply seek out someone with an opposing viewpoint. Does it matter that the opposing viewpoint is based on misconceptions, distortions, outright lies, nit-picking and self-serving interests?
No. Not really. That just gets in the way of being “fair & balanced”.
There are several hot topics that fit in this category. The Theory of Evolution vs The Mythology of Creationism (aka Intelligent(?)Design) pops into mind, and I cover that in its own post. (Just a click away.)
For this post, I’ll use global climate change. Notice I didn’t say global warming. Whoever thought up that term ought to be left outside naked in a baseball sized hail storm. Yes, the overall global temperatures will rise, but not everywhere. It’s even possible that Europe may slip into an ice age.
OK, on one side of this story, we’ve got the consensus of the vast (and I mean VAST) majority of climate scientists armed with observations, studies and measurements. And we have the evidence right in front of us if we pay attention.
I’ve lived in the Portland, Oregon metro area for going on 40 years. I can look out from my deck directly at Mt. Hood. In those 40 years, I’ve watched Mt. Hood’s glaciers shrink a lot!
And it isn’t just here. It’s Alaska, the Alps, the Himalayas, the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets.
Plants and animals are migrating farther north (or south in the southern hemisphere) every year.
Summer begins just a wee bit earlier and lasts a wee bit longer almost every year. Long term weather patterns adjust and intensify. The American south, southwest and mid-west areas have been witness to that lately.
On the other side, we have individuals and groups that just might have a vested interest to protect. You know – like coal and oil companies, auto manufacturers, chemical companies. In fact, every industry that releases chemical emissions into the atmosphere, and of course, their paid-for scientists and politicians.
Speaking of politicians, there is also the type that see political as well as financial gain in claiming that it’s all a scientific and/or liberal hoax. A certain senator from Oklahoma comes to mind. And you know, I just realized that Oklahoma is an oil state. You don’t suppose…….
So anyway, here we have the two sides: One armed with verifiable facts, the other with unverifiable fiction.
Yes, media should examine both sides for veracity. However, media should not bestow a false equivalency to the two sides.
They do this by giving far too much air time or print space than the fictional side merits. Of course, the fact that most of these polluters just happen to be heavy advertisers has absolutely nothing to do with it. Or does it?
In their pursuit of “perceived impartiality”, saddled with vested interest conflicts, media has more or less abandoned objectivity and/or honesty.
Btw, there’s a lot more to be said about climate change and I will later. But, this post was supposed to be about media “impartiality” and I think I’ve at least scratched the surface on that one.
As always, your comments and criticisms are welcome. The intelligent ones will be responded to. The dumb ones will probably be ignored, mostly out of pity.
Grouchy

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One thought on “There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!”
Steph Taylor on January 3, 2012 at 19:05 said:
 
It is great. I love the design and the black on white. Wonderful information and great writing (not to mention intelligent politics). Congrats!
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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

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Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

Too Many People Vote!
 
Yeah, I know the common consensus (and the politically correct view) is that everyone should exercise their franchise and vote.
WRONG!!!!
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not against people voting. We’ve come a long way since the vote was limited to property-owning white males. We now have almost universal suffrage. I say almost universal because we make exceptions for age, legal status, incarceration and state of residence.
I would like to modify that. First of all, universal suffrage should be universal as it pertains to American citizenry. Everybody (including present and past incarcerated individuals as well as the young and the citizens of Arizona) has a stake in the outcome, so they should have a say.
I can already envision people getting their backsides up over letting criminals and kids vote. I’ll get to them in a couple of paragraphs.
Right now, I’d like to drop a couple “fact bombs” on you.
To quote fairvote.org “The right to vote is the foundation of any democracy. Yet most Americans do not realize that we do not have a constitutionally protected right to vote. While there are amendments to the U.S. Constitution that prohibit discrimination based on race (15th), sex (19th) and age (26th), no affirmative right to vote exists.”
“More than nine million American citizens are denied the same right to vote that they would enjoy if living in another part of the country. Several states deny voting rights for life to anyone once convicted of a felony. Children of American families living abroad often cannot vote when they reach voting age. American citizens living in Puerto Rico, Guam and the Virgin Islands can be drafted into the military but are unable to vote for their Commander-in-Chief. Congress governs the District of Columbia more directly than any other state, yet the more than a half million citizens living in the District have no voting representation in Congress.”
And that’s not even counting the assault on voting rights currently going on in almost every Republican controlled statehouse under the guise of combating almost non-existent voter fraud.
Interestingly enough, the far greater proportion of the potentially disenfranchised mostly vote for the other party. You wanna talk about voter fraud? Let’s talk about that!
Btw, check out FairVote’s website, they have a lot of very interesting thoughts on some of the reforms that need to be implemented. I’m going to propose a couple of my own which, of course, is the purpose of this tirade.
In my not-so-humble opinion, no matter what the U.S. Constitution says or does not say, VOTING IS A RIGHT OF AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP! It is not a “privilege” or a “state’s rights issue” as some of the hacks on the troglodyte edge of the political spectrum would have you believe.
Voting requirements should be uniform throughout the states and territories. Just because you live in one state instead of another is no dammed reason to be barred from voting.
Now, as to criminals voting? American criminals (past or present), no matter what their crime(s), haven’t had their citizenship taken away. They are still American citizens and should be free to exercise their rights.
As far as kids voting, I’m not advocating a “Gerber Block” of voters. There has to be some common sense applied to this. (A first for me, I know, but bear with me.)
Under Common Law, the age of reason is seven years old and children 14 and older are considered fully responsible. Since this is really a post about responsibility, let’s go with 14. I’ll explain why that’s not a bad idea a bit later in the post.
OK, the title of this post is “Too Many People Vote” and so far I’ve been expounding on expanding the number, not the other way around. So, it’s probably time to pull the old switcheroo.
As I mentioned a couple of paragraphs back, this post is really about responsibility.
My one exception (and it’s a biggie) to universal suffrage would be ignorance. Not stupidity, ignorance!
Ignorance is the absence of knowledge and can be cured. Stupidity is the abhorrence of knowledge and that seems to be incurable.
I will admit, however, that creating an exception for ignorance would also disenfranchise the stupid at least until they quit being stupid. (Yeah, like that’s really gonna happen.)
I believe that along with the right to vote, comes the responsibility to actually understand who or what you are voting on.
That doesn’t mean knowledge of your side’s “talking points”. That means an understanding of the candidate’s position on the issues of importance. That means having an idea of the impact, both positive and negative, of the measure you are voting on.
Too often the politician that gets elected or the law that gets passed or rejected, depends on the amount of money spent and the slickness of the ads.
All that money spent and all those slick ads don’t clarify the situation. They mostly magnify one side’s point of view to the detriment of the other. Plus, a good portion of the time, they subtly lie (lies of omission or “creative shading”) or not so subtly lie (lies of commission or “creative distortion”). All too often, the end result of money and slickness is people voting against their own self interests. They have a right to do this, but I’m getting damned tired of them dragging the rest of us down with them.
I have the remedy for that problem!
The United States has “Truth-In-Advertising” laws that require that
◾Advertising must be truthful and non-deceptive;
◾Advertisers must have evidence to back up their claims;
◾Advertisements cannot be unfair.
Unfortunately, these laws don’t seem to apply to political advertisements, and they should!
The solution to this problem is really very simple: (Although, I guarantee politicos will hate it.) Expand “Truth in Advertising” to include political ads and then enforce the laws.
Any political advertisement would have to be submitted to neutral fact-checkers along with proof of any claims or statements made before those claims or statements were disseminated.
This would have the immediate effect of eliminating a lot of those “negative ads” that we all profess to hate. (Except of course, when they boost “our side”. Then we secretly love them.)
I know in this country, we have a Republican dominated Supreme Court that thinks corporations are people and money is “free” speech. But all their twisted interpretations of the law doesn’t make it so.
Also, It seems like a very large percentage of Americans are not too happy with our current crop of politicians. (The current congressional approval rating is hovering around 13%.) A lot of people try to apportion the blame on several factors, but the truth is, there’s only one factor to blame: THE VOTERS WHO ELECTED THEM INTO OFFICE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
I have the remedy for that problem!
To begin with, what is needed is a balanced view of things political, and that requires a little work. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. After all, you are making decisions that are affecting your life and probably your money. And no, I’m not saying you have to understand every little minute detail, but a general understanding would go a long way in creating better laws (and better politicians).
My state (Oregon) issues a voter’s pamphlet for every election. I’m sure that most, if not all other states do the same. In the pamphlet is a list of the candidates and a copy of the measure(s) under consideration.
In Oregon’s pamphlet there is also a neutral, plain language description of the measure and it’s impact as well as arguments pro and con. The one thing lacking is a matrix of the competing candidates’ stand on the major issues of the campaign. The addition of that and a couple of hours studying the pamphlet would make for better elections with more positive outcomes.
Thousands of soldiers, sailors and civilians have died for your right to vote. Isn’t it worth a an hour or so (and not to mention – your duty) to get it right? Besides, it’s in your own best interests.
Oh gee! Sounds great, but not very practical. How the heck do you make this work? And wouldn’t it cost a lot to implement if you could make it work ? And what about safeguards and security?
First of all, let me introduce a given. THE COUNTRY IS HEADING TOWARDS VOTING ON HOME COMPUTER! It’s going to happen! It can happen now; it may not happen for a few years. But, it is inevitable – IT WILL HAPPEN! And, once it does, everything gets very simple.
Before I explain and before you start reminding me that not everybody has a computer to vote with. I already know that. However there are plenty of computers in schools, libraries and other governmental and private locations that could be utilized on election day without spending any more time or expense than it takes to go to a poling location and vote now.
Security and safeguards? No system is completely foolproof, but those objections were raised about Oregon’s “vote by mail” and that’s turned out to be a lot more tamper proof than some states’ balloting that I could mention – Florida and Ohio come to mind real quick. Plus, we have a whole industry devoted to making computer transactions safe and secure.
OK, here’s how its done: Once in front of the computer and logged in with your personal voting ID, you would answer 3 – 4 neutral questions (multiple choice?) about the measure or candidate you are voting on and then cast your vote.
And yes, if a 14-year-old can understand well enough to vote on a measure or politician, then he/she has proved their commitment to democracy. (Which is a hell of a lot more than a lot of today’s voters do.)
When the votes are to be tallied, complete with a paper trail (excluding voter ID of course), the answers are checked and if correct, the vote is recorded.
PRESTO! The results of an informed electorate. And isn’t that the ideal that we are supposed to be striving for?
Grouchy
p.s. I can’t wait to hear the rebuttal rationales as to why ignorant and stupid people should be allowed to vote. They should be hilarious.

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4 thoughts on “Too Many People Vote!”
Idaho Spud on June 28, 2012 at 06:50 said:
 
I’ve never before thought about criminals voting, and I’m thinking about it.
I’ve never before thought about 14 year-olds voting, but it sounds reasonable.
I strongly agree that ignorant and stupid people should not have their vote counted, and your method of determining who is & isn’t sounds good.
I strongly agree that we should have truth in political advertising, but it should be enforced much better than truth in product advertising is enforced. In my not-so-humble opinion, 95% or more product and service advertisements still lie and attempt to deceive.
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Idaho Spud on June 28, 2012 at 06:55 said:
 
By the way, I like your images (right-on George Carlin!), enough to save them.
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james on July 14, 2012 at 18:17 said:
 
Whenever computerized voting is finally implemented, perhaps a good way to help reduce ignorance (but not necessarily stupidity) would be to require all voters to take an online civics refresher course and pass a exam that shows they understood the course contents before they are allowed to vote. I think the refresher course should be required at least every 4 years, before each Presidential election. Your 3 or 4 questions should suffice for the other elections.
I think non-English versions of the online course should be made available to those citizens whose command of the English language is less than complete. Lack of proficiency in a particular language does not automatically mean someone is ignorant of the issues at hand.
And if you can’t read the course material on the computer screen because you are illiterate (in any language)? You should have to learn how to read before you can take the course, pass the test & vote. If you refuse to learn how to read in any language? That’s stupidity and it disqualifies you from voting.
Exceptions would be made for the visually impaired, using screen readers. I’m not sure that letting the recalcitrantly illiterate use screen readers in lieu of acquiring basic reading skills would do enough to promote a more informed and intelligent electorate, but I’d be willing to reconsider if a good argument is made for it. As for learning disabilities – well, it’s probably not a P.C. position, but if someone is too mentally deficient to learn how to read, then they also do not need to be voting.
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Daveon July 15, 2012 at 10:26 said:
 
James, thank you for your insightful comments. As usual, I agree with you about 97%.
I think requiring online civics courses every four years or so, while theoretically a good idea, wouldn’t work in reality. The problem is that when you need to have a large group undergo a radial change, you have to make that change as small and as easy as possible. Even then you have do it in small incremental steps. And, even then you are going to encounter massive resistance by a minority. Yes, you can always force it down their throats, but that’s extremely counter-productive.
The questions and the ballots should, of course, be written in any language needed, with support for the visually impaired. As far as the “recalcitrantly illiterate” go, I’ll have to think about that one for a while. I suppose it would depend on the individual circumstances. Also, being that my post was about political illiteracy and responsibility, I’m not sure how far I want to expand that. Like I said, I’m going to have to think about that one.
I invite you (and everybody, else for that matter) to check out Grouchy’s Grumbles (https://www.facebook.com/GrouchysGrumbles) on Facebook. One of the primary reasons I set it up was for ongoing discussions of GFaOG posts.
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Grumbles From an Old Grouch
"I'm not everybody's 'cuppa tea'…….But, then again, I don't try to be!"

Search  
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit)
Biblical Beasts & Boogymen [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Fryin’ Ryan – What You Really Need to Know About Paul Ryan (b.y.o. nausea pills)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 1)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 2)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” Special Report (pt 3)
Mormonism: “The Big Con?” A “Religious Wrong” SpecialReport (pt 4) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Repugnut Thoughts (Mine, not theirs (pt. 1))
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 2: The Turd Blossom Rationalizations)
Repugnut Thoughts (pt. 3: Ayn Rand, Graveyard Voters & Matthew 7:16)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 1: 2nd Amendment Bullshit)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 2: To Heller & Back)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 3: Collateral Damage)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 4: The Usual Suspects)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 5: More of the Usual)
The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION
The Religious Wrong (pt 1: The Puritanical Years)
The Religious Wrong (pt 2: The Hateteenth Century)
The Religious Wrong (pt 3: The Great(?) Awakening)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 1: Oh, my Akin Ryan)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2: Meanwhile, back in the states.)
The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
 
Before I get started with this, I’ll point out the obvious: I am NOT an expert on military matters!
I am however, an avid student of history and events and I’m blessed with an active, inquisitive, rational mind. (I’ll admit there’s some debate about that last part, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) Also, I’ve been around long enough to be able to separate the chicken shit from the bullshit. (And, believe me, I’ve stepped in plenty of both.)
One more quick thing before I begin: This is a loooooong post. So long that it’s two posts. But then again, this is a biiiiiiiig subject. Plus, there’s lots of links to my sources. (I don’t pull this stuff out of my ass you know. I leave that sort of thing to politicians. It’s the one thing they’re good at!) And, as most of you know, if you’ve slogged through my posts before, I’m a “stream of consciousness” kind of writer. (I writes ‘em as I thinks ‘em.) So, we’ll be exploring a few side paths along the way.
Also, (OK, that’s two things.) Please hold off all the “damned – liberal – Nazi – commie – intellectual – simple-minded – socialist – soft on defense” comments until you read both posts. I think you will find I’m not all that soft on defense. As for the rest of it? Knock yourself out! I’ve been called a lot worse. I only ask that you actually know what the terms mean before you use them. (Which eliminates teabaggers aka “dumbfucks”.)
OK. That’s out-of-the-way, let’s commence.

Generals always want to fight the last war. It’s the one they know best.
Prime examples: France in World War II prepared to fight World War I again. You know how that turned out. In Viet Nam, we were trying to fight the Korean War (excuse me, Korean Police Action). That didn’t work out so well either.
Despite the fact that the American military is really set up to meet and defeat the Russians on the plains of Germany, the odds are that’s probably not going to happen.
You can replace Russia with China or any other country with a large military, and plains of Germany with another location, but you get the idea.
The Cold War is over and it’s a whole new world out there.
Now, the military will tell you they’ve modernized to meet the times. Other than the high-tech toys aspect, that’s mostly bullshit. If you don’t believe me, take a look at the way the American military is organized. We’re still set up to beat those “Damn Ruskies” or “Chinese Commies” with their huge standing armies.
What blows me away is that Sun Tzu is required reading for War College students. You’d think they might absorb some of what they’re reading. (OK, to be totally honest, they do absorb some of it, but that’s mostly the parts that celebrate their preconceived notions.)
Big massive land, sea or even air battles are most likely pretty much a thing of the past. There are a lot of reasons for this. For starters, it’s just too damned expensive, too damn dangerous and doesn’t make sense anymore, plus it’s unnecessary.
And, speaking of bullshit, (see 3 paragraphs up) I’m reminded of Army recruitment slogans. (Always good for a giggle.)
During the 70′s it was “Today’s army wants to join you”. I was in the army and for the life of me, I can not remember one instance in which the army ever expressed a desire to join me in what I wanted to do.
For the next two decades, it was “Be all you can be”. I guess that one works if all you can be is a professional hit man. But, other than the mob and the military, there’s not much call for that nowadays.
My personal favorite (2001-2006) was “An army of one”. Ask any professional military person what would happen if the military consisted of individuals and you’d probably get one of two reactions: A look of sheer terror or they wouldn’t be able to stop laughing for at least ten minutes.
Now the slogan is “Army strong”. I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck that means.
Got that out off my system, let’s get back on target:
Too Damned Expensive:
In 2010, the U.S. was responsible for 42.8% of the total world military spending. Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI) Yearbook 2011
That’s way out of line by any rational standard!
In 2010, the U.S. military budget (the part they let you know about) was $693,000,000,000. That’s about $2,215.83 for every man, woman and mother-lovin’ child in the country. Keep in mind, that doesn’t include Military & Government Intelligence (somewhere around $50,000,000,000) and other “Black Box” fun stuff.
That’s more than six times the amount spent by the next country on the list (China). In fact, we spend more than the next 15 nations on the list combined. (China, France, The United Kingdom, Russia, Japan, Germany, Italy, Saudi Arabia, India, Brazil, Australia, South Korea, Spain, Turkey, Canada, Iraq & Israel)

But wait, there’s even more: If you include total defense-related expenditures (DOD, FBI counter-terrorism, Veterans Affairs, Homeland Security, Intelligence satellites, veterans pensions, other mandatory defense spending and debt interest incurred in past wars) it comes to over $1,000,000,000,000 ($3,200+ per m, w, & m-lc). And that’s just for one year.
And that still doesn’t include paying private contractors to do stuff the military used to do.
Out of that $693 billion, over $140 billion was for procurement. Some of that was for new toys, but most of it was to  replace no-longer-serviceable equipment plus bombs, bullets and other disposables.
My point is that there are not too many countries (if any) that could afford to field a competitive force. Hell, it broke the USSR trying to keep up, and they were a major economy.
We have more than 3,000,000 military personal – active and reserve. Except that the “reserve” has been awfully “active” the past few years.
The only country that has a larger active duty force is China, but they’re proponents of the “human wave” aka “cannon fodder” style of battle. During the Korean “Police Action” (don’t you just love military euphemisms) that worked (sort of). Nowadays, it’s just a death warrant. I’ll explain why later in the “Too Damn Dangerous” section of this post.
And yes, some countries like Viet Nam or Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (talk about Orwellian double-speak) have huge reserves. Viet Nam has 5,000,000 and the fake Democratic Republic has 8,200,000. But neither of these are much of a threat outside their base of operations.
In both cases, these numbers include vast numbers of police, paramilitary and “home guard” citizens. They would all require a lot of additional training before they’d be a credible fighting force. In other words, they’re basically cannon fodder.
We have military personnel stationed (that we’ll admit to) in Afghanistan, Antigua, Australia, Bahrain, Belgium, British Indian Ocean Territory, Brazil, Bulgaria, Columbia, Cuba, Egypt, France, Germany, Greece, Greenland, Guam, Indonesia, Iraq, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kenya, Kosovo, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Malaysia, Marshall Islands, Netherlands, Netherlands Antilles, New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Saint Helena, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Spain, South Korea, Sweden, Thailand, Turkey & the UK. (Bet you’ve never even heard of some of those countries, but we’re there.)
And btw, isn’t our military supposed to be primarily defensive? (You know, in case the bad guys feel like invading us.) What the hell does that mission have to do with Kyrgyzstan?
Also in the “overkill department”: China has about 240 nuclear warheads, France has less than 300. The U.K. has about 150 or so and Israel somewhere between 75 & 200 (they don’t like to talk about it). India and Pakistan have around 90 or so each. North Korea has the material for up to 12. Russia has about 2400 left over from the Cold War……and……
Wait for it…………

The U.S. has over 5,000!
That’s enough to make the demise of the dinosaurs seem like Sunday at a church picnic. (Without all the “grab & grope” behind the bushes.)
In that same “BIG MILITARY, BIG BATTLE” mindset is our Ground-Based mid-course Defense anti-missile system.
Do we need an anti-missile system? Yes! We do need some sort of missile defense. Who knows, Kim Jong-Un might just be crazy enough to try to take out Seattle. The missile would probably stray off course and hit Coos Bay, Oregon, (Coosbania to you muppet fans) but those people need protection too.
The question is, how massive a missile defense does it really need to be? In the near future, I don’t see a major threat.
What about China?
Not in their self-interest! Their self-interest is power, specifically staying in power. With their huge population, hungry for what they see on TV, they are an emerging economic power. Keeping the public focused on consumerism instead of corruption, they are a little more secure for a while longer. (Hey, it works on us.)
A little something like a major, self fought war would disrupt supply channels among many other not-so-nice side effects.
Plus, and much more importantly, Chinese leaders were around during the Cold War. They watched the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. face off for over 40 years. Probably the main thing that kept the fuse from being lit was the M.A.D. (Mutual Assured Destruction) policy. Both countries knew that whoever threw the first punch, their own countries were “toast”! (Very, very burnt toast.)
It was MAD!!! But, it worked!
China knows the same thing would happen to them. However, the thing is that it doesn’t take 5,000 warheads to accomplish that.
If a city is hit with a nuclear bomb (and unfortunately, I think one will be eventually) it probably won’t be in the form of a missile or air attack anyway. More likely, it’ll be in a backpack carried by a suicide bomber. That’s a lot cheaper and a lot harder to stop.
The main threat isn’t opposing world powers, it’s smaller, unstable nations like North Korea or Pakistan.
North Korea’s delivery system is incapable of hitting anything farther than the NW (and not too accurately at that distance).
Pakistan is focused on India, so we wouldn’t be their first target. And, even if they had the delivery capability, (which they don’t) they wouldn’t be around to launch another round. (Remember those 90 warheads that India has.)
And if Iran goes nuclear? “Cause you know they’re damn well trying to.
Well, then they go nuclear. There’s really no way we could stop them unless we pull an incursion on them. And let’s face it, our Middle East incursions haven’t worked out too well so far.
I am sure that Iran will use the bomb to try to increase its power and influence in the area. But, would they actually use it? I don’t think so.
Iran’s leaders are extreme religious zealots and proof positive that humanity is not that far removed from cave man days, but I don’t think they are stupid enough or insane enough to do it. Martyrdom is for underlings, not for them.
Suppose they do try to take out Tel Aviv.
They launch an IRBM (Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile). By the time the missile reached apogee, Israel would have launched a good portion of those 75 – 200 warheads on every major city, religious and military target in Iran.
Tel Aviv might be gone, but Iran would be uninhabitable for the next several hundred years at the least.
The other major threat is terrorist groups.
What terrorist groups? Take your pick: from the extreme right, or the extreme left; from religious terrorists or ethnic terrorists; or even from “just a cut above” run-of-the-mill extortionists. There are enough of each that would jump at the chance to make a statement or a hell of a lot of money.
The point is, that none of these threats require a humongous missile shield or a “fight two or three simultaneous wars” military capability.
Wait a minute! Aren’t we the “world’s policemen”?
Excuse me, but when did they hire us for the job?
And, how much are they paying us?
And don’t hand me that “We’re defending FREEDOM!!!” bull crap.
A good percentage of the time, we’re defending business interests. (Don’t tell me you think the 1st Gulf War was about Kuwaiti freedom? Not unless Kuwaiti freedom is spelled O-I-L!)

Then there’s the “Banana Wars” (1934-35). (United Fruit Company had some very powerful friends in high places.)

The Spanish-American War (1897-98) (We wanted Cuban sugar and we got the Philippines as a bonus.)

 
The overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom (1893) (think: Dole) We formally apologized for that in 1993.

 
The Mexican-American War (1846-48) (Hey, Texas was just sitting there and we got California just in time for the gold rush.)

Some of the time, we slowly stumble into wars. (Viet Nam ring a bell?)
Some of the time we’re lied into them: Iraq’s “weapons of mass destruction” and their purchase of yellow cake uranium. (Never existed and didn’t happen.)
Some of the time it’s for political reasons such as defending our dictator against their dictator. (South vs North Korea; South vs North Viet Nam) Not that ours was much, if any, better.
With respect to the last examples, don’t bother bringing up that tired old “Domino Theory”. The damn things really didn’t fall over, did they?
Here’s a trivia question for you. Who was the last President that served their entire term without initiating some sort of military action, either foreign or domestic?
No, it wasn’t Hoover. He used the army (led by Douglas MacArthur and aided by Dwight Eisenhower) against American war veterans on July 28, 1932. (you can look it up!) And don’t forget, the aforementioned Banana Wars happened on his watch as well.
I’m pretty sure it was John Quincy Adams. (and he left office in 1829).
Military action seems to have evolved into a “right of passage” thingy for American Presidents.
 Too Damned Dangerous:
This section is going to be a lot shorter. As would any war that consisted of massive pitched battles.
Here’s the scenario: You (country: US) are setting up for a major battle with the enemy (country: THEM).
You have a fully manned (approx. 13,700 soldiers) and equipped (mechanized infantry, armor & artillery) division. You have satellite surveillance, full air support and the most modern gear that billions of dollars can provide. You h…
There’s a blinding flash and heat unexperienced this side of the sun.You…….have…….nothing!…….No armor!…….No artillery!…….No soldiers!…….No You!
You’ve just been hit by a tactical nuclear device. If you’d had the time between the flash and the heat, it might have dawned on you that it just might not be a good idea to amass this many assets in a confined area.
Tactical nukes are great for one thing – they are extremely efficient cannon fodder and gear eliminators.
Doesn’t Make Sense Anymore:
I’ve covered several of the reasons in the previous couple of sections, but for the sake of structure and organization, (and for those of you with short attention spans) I’ll reiterate:
Astronomical costs ($3,200+ per person/per year; 42.8% of total world military expenditures) in a country with serious financial and infrastructure problems. Even if we cut our spending in half, we’d be spending triple what our next war-spending rival spends.
Lack of foreseeable “Super Foes”. (Nobody’s really up to the task right now.)
Large scale emplacements easily destroyed by tactical nukes. (Never put your eggs in a small basket. Somebody might shit on it.)
A different variety of enemies than in “the good old days” of WWII and the Cold War, requires a different variety of responses. (“Oh, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd.”)
Unnecessary:
I’ll use Afghanistan and “The War on Terror” with a bit of Iraq (not to be confused with the aforementioned “War on Terror”) for this section.
It seems that every few days,, we read that another Taliban or al Qaeda leader has been “introduced to the reaper”.
How many of these timely deaths are due to troop action in the field? Actually, not very many of them.
A large percentage are due to people in air-conditioned rooms thousands of miles away playing video games.
Of course, those “video games” really aren’t. They are remote piloting controls for Predator and Reaper drones.As of June of 2011, drones had taken out at least 16 senior members of al Qaeda along with 15 mid level leaders and a much larger number of lower level personnel. By August, the number of senior members was up to 18. In September, we took out three more. And so on and so on.
And then there are the “Special Ops” teams like the Green Berets and Navy Seal Teams.

At this point in time, almost everybody has heard of Seal Team Six. (Mr. bin Laden finally found out whether there were virgins waiting in heaven to service him and is probably damned disappointed.)
What almost everybody hasn’t heard of is the incredible job the special ops teams did at the beginning of the Afghanistan operation. A few hundred CIA and special forces personnel bought up the Northern Alliance who were already in revolt against the Taliban. They gave them money and equipment including laser target designators and coordinated their efforts with air support.
When Kabul fell in November 2003, there were less than 1000 Americans on the ground in Afghanistan. Gwynne Dyer, “Hardcore History” Show #25 – The Dyer Outlook.
We didn’t need a huge army to topple Afghanistan, just a few hundred well-trained specialists working with motivated locals and aided by air strikes.
Does that mean we don’t need some sort of standing army? No, Afghanistan is not a “one-size-fits-all” situation. Nothing ever is. But, it does mean that there are more efficient, less costly (in money and blood) ways to look at these things.
Wait just a damn minute! What about all the troops that are required to keep the peace? It’s taken so many in Afghanistan and Iraq that some have been back two or three times.
If they’re keeping the peace, I’d love to know where they’re keeping it. I haven’t seen a whole hell of a lot of it around lately. (Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.)
First of all, tell you what. Next war(s) we get into, let’s have a “post hostilities strategy” that’s based on reality. I think the last time that happened was WWII.
I’m sure that you all got very acquainted with Rosie Scenario (whore that she was) back in 2 oh oh 3:“The Iraq War won’t cost a lot of money!” “We are prepared for every contingency!” “We won’t need a lot of troops!” “We will bring peace and freedom to Iraq!” “We will find WMDs!” “We will be welcomed as liberators!” “We have the best plan available for victory!” “The war will transform the Middle East!” “It will be easy!” “It won’t take long!”
So yes, it has taken a hell of a lot of troops to maintain order. Let me rephrase that: try to maintain order. But, you see, that’s the thing of it. When you are an occupying force it takes a hell of a lot of troops and a hell of a lot of casualties.
In the last decade we’ve lost over 7,000 troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Civilian deaths (some combatants, but mostly just people in the wrong place) exceed 137,000 according to the Watson Institute for International Studies at Brown University. And, that’s a low estimate compared to a lot of others.
If you throw in the fighting in Pakistan, which we are funding, equipping and providing funding for, the number rises to over 236,000 deaths.
Btw, military-speak for people in the wrong place is “collateral damage” as in “acceptable collateral damage”.
War costs (so far) fall somewhere between $3,000,000,000,000 – $4,000,000,000,000.
(THAT’S  3 TO 4 TRILLION DOLLARS)
At the lessor amount, that’s $12,711,864.41 per civilian casualty; at the greater, it’s $16,949,152.54 per civilian casualty. (Who says “Life is cheap”?)
THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!
Maybe the best thing in most (but not all) cases would be to go in like we originally did in Afghanistan, and then step back and let the people (whose country it actually is) work out their own future.
Give aid, with lots of oversight, when and as needed. (But NO TROOPS!).
In other words, almost everything we didn’t do in Afghanistan or Iraq. Of course, then Halliburton, Blackwater and a lot of other contractors wouldn’t have gotten nearly as rich. And, we wouldn’t have lost so many trillions of dollars, and more importantly, so many thousands of lives.
Yah, I know. If we do it that way we are going to lose some countries. (As if they were ours in the first place.) If we’re going to “lose” them (to whom, I don’t know) then we’re going to lose them.
Remember how we “lost” Viet Nam?
Now, we’re working with them in areas ranging from counter narcotics to aviation to security to human rights to trade. In fact, we’re trading partners to the tune of over $18,000,000,000 a year. (After China, we’re their largest trading partner.)
But, it’s our sacred duty to build “DEMOCRACY”! (i.e. install “American business friendly” governments.)
That’s a neo-con bullshit line if there ever was one. A lot of people in a lot of countries are in a situation where a quick transition to “DEMOCRACY” isn’t practical or even makes sense. Once again, this is not a one-size-fits-all world.
A better idea might be to work on our own democracy. Darwin knows, it could use some infrastructure maintenance.
If democracy is “what everyone in the world wants”, they’ll come around without us trying to lead them by the nose. Remember what Sun Tzu said: “A leader leads by example, not by force”.
Also, propping up a local strong man is not good karma in the long run, medium run or even short run. Do it and you’re going to eventually (or not so eventually) get kicked in the balls.
Didn’t we learn any thing from Iran – 1953-80? Or, for that matter, from the USSR in Afghanistan – 1979-89?
Here’s a fun and enjoyable project for you: If you want to understand Afghani mentality and why we lost the war as soon as the army moved in, read James Michener’s 1963 book “Caravans”. Seriously. The man did his homework as usual.
(Oh, and we have lost the war. It just hasn’t sunk in yet.)
One last thing while I’m more or less discussing Afghanistan: WHY THE HELL ARE WE STILL THERE? We went in to take out Osama and al Qaeda. Osama is fish food and al Qaeda has mostly gone to Pakistan. Even the CIA admits that.
To once again quote Sun Tzu: “There is no instance of a nation benefiting from prolonged warfare.”
BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! Got any solutions or do you just like to gripe a lot?
Yah, but you’re going to have to check out pt 2 for that.
Go grab some more coffee. I’ll wait.
Grouchy

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The Repuglican War on Women (pt 2b (or not 2b): Meanwhile, back in the states. cont.) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
The Scurge(?) or Scourge(?) of Socialism
The Tea Potty (pt 1: The Early Years)
The Tea Potty (pt 10: Clowns & Commodians cont.)
The Tea Potty (pt 2: The “Knights” in Cotton Armor)
The Tea Potty (pt 3: Civil Rights, Civil Wrongs, Civil Rumps)
The Tea Potty (pt 4: From Vietnam to Ventura)
The Tea Potty (pt 5: Who the hell are these people?)
The Tea Potty (pt 6: In the beginning, there was Astro-Turf)
The Tea Potty (pt 7-The local Locos)
The Tea Potty (pt 8: Players & Takers)
The Tea Potty (pt 9-Clowns & Commodians)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 1)
The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism (pt 2)
There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story!
Too Many People Vote!
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, Seriously. Why?) (pt 1)
Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 

Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)
 
Let’s see. Where was I? Oh yah:
BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! Got any solutions or do you just like to gripe a lot?
(Glad I pretended you asked!)
The premise of these posts is military bloat and why it doesn’t make sense. But, we do need a military, no matter what some of my peace-loving friends may think. We just don’t need such a huge one.
We’ve got admirals and generals who’ve spent their whole life careers studying wars and stratagems. If we could actually get by with less, they’re smart enough to know it!
Admirals and generals always want more personnel (and equipment) it’s part of their job description. And yes, our admirals and generals are intelligent! (Ass kissing isn’t the only prerequisite for all those stars.) But, let me posit this:
In WWII there was an officer for every 10 enlisted person in the military. Now we have 1 for 5.1. The Marines are 1 for 9, but they’re the exception.
In WWII the Army had 14 generals for each active division. Now they have 30. The Navy had 1 admiral for every 130 ships. Now, it’s 1 for every 2.2 ships!
If we cut down the military, we don’t need a lot more generals and admirals then we don’t need right now.
Do you really think they are going to cut their own livelihood. Or worse, be demoted back downstairs? (Not in any reality that I’m aware of.)
Plus, there’s too many excess generals and admirals for them to all be hired as lobbyists. (Well, maybe not. But, is that a good idea? That’s one of the reasons our expenditures are so high in the first place.)
Let’s get back to defending America as opposed to defending American business or defending pet dictators or defending some screwed up political mind-set! (neo-cons anyone?)
Let’s start with a basic concept: Quality over quantity. (aka A lean, mean, ball-crushing machine!)
In this scenario, there are five main (but fully integrated) components:
1) Ground-Based Operations;
2) Sub-Sea Operations;
3) Air Control;
4) Special Forces;
5) Coastal Operations.
The last two of these actually need to be expanded from their present numbers and I’ll get to those in a few paragraphs.
1) Ground-Based Operations
To my warped way of thinking, the Marines are a great model for Ground-Based Operations. The major problem is that they are a bit too tied to the navy, which is semi-obsolete.
What about the Army, fella? They’ve always been the “Big Dog” of the armed forces. And, what the hell do you mean, the Navy is semi-obsolete?
Army first.
It’s scenario time once again boys and girls:
You stumble into a bar fully and equally populated with Marines and Army personnel. As a result of excessive interfacing with Mr. Daniels, Br. Beam, Old Grand Dad and a Wild Turkey or two, a brawl breaks out between the services. Do you really have any doubts as to who’s going to “win” the fight? I mean, seriously?

I’ve been through army basic training and I’ve seen what the marines go through in basic. Ours was a two month vacation in comparison. If we are going to cut down the size of our standing military, we need better, tougher military personnel to start with. And to me, that means Marines. Or at least Marine types.
As to the exact numbers needed for Ground-Based Operations, I’ll leave that to much more knowledgable individuals. (But not the generals, they always want more, never less.)
However, it seems to me that if integrated, with upgraded training (physical & mental) and equipped with those fun, state-of-the-art toys that we all love, we could shed a large portion of our 751,095 (give or take) active and 648,616 (give or take again) reserve personnel and not sacrifice strength. Plus, there are other advantages to be discussed a bit later in the post.
Of course, that means that we’ll come up short when it comes to “peace-keeping”. But, we’ve been coming up short in that department anyway. We’ll just have to restructure so that it’s much more efficient (and maybe even work).
And, what’s with the 243,172 civilians the Army Needs??? The Marines don’t need ‘em. They do their own damned k.p.!
Now Navy.
2) Sub-Sea Operations
Remember the “Too Damned Dangerous” section way back in pt 1? Well, this may come a shock to some, but the scenario works out the same on water as it does on land.Of course, the ships are spread out a bit more since it takes more space to maneuver, so you just use bigger bombs or more smaller ones. MIRVs (Multiple Independently Targetable Reentry Vehicles) are great for that sort of thing.
Surface fleets in the day of almost universal short-ranged missile availability and atomic proliferation have been promoted to potential floating coffins.
They’re still useful (for a while) in smaller conflicts, but if we had to face someone like China or Russia, everybody’s surface fleet would be pretty much gone within 24 – 36 hours (if that long). So why do we keep “sinking” billions into them???
It’s time to “sink the fleet”!
By that I mean expand underwater capabilities and phase out the floaters.
There is still (and always will be) a need for sea power. But, better stealthy sea power than exposed sea power.
Almost everything we can do above the waves, we can do under the waves, except for launching manned war planes. And manned war planes are another dying breed. More on that in a few paragraphs.
Btw, while I’m talking about carrier-based planes, the U.S.’s in-service carriers comprise half of the world’s total number including in-service, in-reserve, those under construction and those being rebuilt.
Ours are Super Carriers, each one of them about two to nine times the size of any other nation’s carriers.

And, before I forget, we have three more Super Carriers on the way at $9,000,000,000 each (not counting $5,000,000,000 R&D): The USS Gerald R. Ford (2015); the USS John F. Kennedy (2018) (Shouldn’t they be naming a PT boat after him instead?); and the unnamed CVN-80 (2021). Plus seven more planed for construction later. (Sinful waste of taxes and people, if you ask me.)
So, even with a beefed up sub-sruface presence, the elimination of a large percentage of the surface fleet and the support personnel needed, would drastically cut the Navy budget. (Not to mention a hell of a lot of excess admirals.)
3) Air Control
Live pilots vs pilotless drones. I’ve heard the arguments back and forth over the years, and over the years, live pilots have been steadily losing ground (or air, if you will) as drones get smarter and more versatile. Drones are far more maneuverable (machines handle g forces much better than humans) and artificial intelligence (AI) is getting better and better. Plus, without a human to accommodate, they are less complicated, smaller and less expensive to build.
For instance, the F-22 Raptors (below) cost about $354,900,000 per.
For that same $354,900,000 you get 11 state-of-the-art MQ-9 Reapers ($30,300,000 each) and get $21,600,000 back in change.Oh, and drones are safer and more comfortable for the pilot. Remember, he’s safely in some air-conditioned room many, many miles away, playing a video game. (And, did I mention there’s a lot less bailout involved as well.)
There is still a need for some piloted planes, but in a very short time span, the only reason to have them will be human ego. The rare exception to this might be piloted helicopters in non-battle (i.e. rescue) situations, but even these will eventually be outmoded.
In summation (of this part): Upgrading our air power (going drone) will produce savings in men, material and MONEY!
I personally think we won’t save as much as we will with Ground-Based Operations. You still need support for all those drones and support for the supporters. (But hey, a billion bucks here, a billion bucks there and pretty soon it adds up.)
Ok, now that we’ve gotten the “cuts” out-of-the-way, let’s talk about some “adds”.
4) Special Forces
Military special ops programs (Army Green Berets, Navy Seals, Marine Silent Warriors & Air Force Special Operations Command (around since ’83 and still no nickname)) are part of the United States Special Operations Command (USSOC). (The military loves its initialisms!)
Its mission is to provide fully capable Special Operations Forces to defend the United States and its interests, and plan and synchronize operations against terrorist networks(i.e. unconventional warfare and counter terrorism). Currently (they tell us) there are about 58,000 on active duty.
Yes, special ops have had their fails! (Just ask Jimmy Carter about Operation Eagle Claw.) But, they’ve also had their wins (Some you may know about, some you may never.) and as I’ve noted before in this posts, some of the wins have been spectacular! (Osama and the Taliban were impressed!)

Speaking of Operation Eagle Claw, (aka “The Disaster in the Desert” or “Who knew sand storms and helicopter engines don’t mix?”) it did do some good. It was the impetus for the formation of USSOC.
After the investigation concluded that the unworkable (and not very coordinated) command and control structures of the various military branches was a major cause of the screw-up, they brought them under a unified command. (Which, in my not so humble opinion, they should do with the entire military.) I’ll cover that in another post on another day. This post’s long enough.
Ok, before you get bored to sleep, that’s enough history! You all get the point that our special ops forces are coordinated. (And, that’s a good thing.)
A good portion of the conflicts we find ourselves in for the past few years have been primarily gorilla wars (i.e. Viet Nam, “Operation Iraqi Freedom” (recently changed to “Operation New Dawn”) (Ya gotta love those military code names.) Afghanistan and some others we don’t like to talk about.)
As I’ve already implied, the best guerrilla (unconventional warfare) fighters we have are “Special Ops”. Also, as previously noted, one of their primary missions is counter terrorism and they are reputed to be among the best in the world. (Mossad may be better, or that may be just a case of better p.r..)
Based on the fact that their primary missions are the current future of war, this is an area that needs to be beefed up rather than cut. (“Quality over quantity”, “lean, mean, ball-crushing machine” and all that.)
Hold on there, you anti-American commie-Nazi-hippy! Our Special Ops are the best because they only take the best. If we expand, we’ll have to lower the standards.
That statement presupposes that all the “best” join the military in the first place. Having been in the military, I can tell you that is definitely not the case.
What needs to be done, is make special ops appealing to the “best”. Bring in Republican “spin-doctors”, they’ve been convincing large swaths of Americans to vote against their own best interests for decades. (But, whatever you do, keep the Army sloganeers way the hell away.)
As usual, I don’t want to play the exact numbers game, but it seems to me that with the right bait, you could double the size and not sacrifice standards at all. This would give us a much expanded capability as well as reduce the need for a far greater number of “not-the-best” troops.
5) Coastal Operations.
Back in “2)“, when I was kicking the Navy in the nuts, I made a case for dumping the surface fleet. That case does not hold for coastal defense. The primary reason for the exception is that Coast Guard boats don’t bunch up.
The Coast Guard has 11 missions:
1.Coastal security;
2.Drug interdiction;
3.Aiding navigation:
4.Search & rescue;
5.Marine safety;
6.Living marine resources;
7.Defense (of course);
8.Migrant interdiction;
9.Marine environmental protection;
10.Ice operations;
11.Law enforcement.
I don’t know about you, but after reviewing their missions, I can’t find one reason to cut their size down. In fact, I can see about 11 reasons why it should be beefed up.
Plus, we can save some bucks if the Navy transfers some of their ships to the CG. (Although, I really don’t think the CG would have a lot of use for Super Carriers.)
That’s all fine in theory, but it’s “pie-in-the-sky”! Ain’t never gonna happen! Way too many vested interests!
Trying to change the status quo is never easy and quite often risky. Remember Billy Mitchell! (If you don’t, it might be a good idea to brush up a little more on American military history. You never know when it’ll come in handy.)
Having said that, Americans always eventually adapt to changing situations. Usually kicking, clawing and screaming, (I’d i.e. teabaggers, but that’s just too damned easy.) but adapting nevertheless.
And, (for all you sports fans out there) you don’t take that first step, you don’t win that marathon.
Just for kicks, as one of those first steps, it might be a good idea to set up a commission to take a look at possibilities.
Oh goodie! Another commission! Just what we need. That ought to solve the situation real fast. NOT!
Hold on. As with all my “screwy ideas”, this one isn’t exactly mainstream.
First of all, the commission would consist of widely acknowledged military experts in fields ranging from special ops to naval to transport. HOWEVER there are some conditions:
1.Two thirds of the commission has to be civilian. (You don’t put the inmates in charge of the asylum.)
2.None of the civilians may be current politicians. (Keeps out most of the political posturing.)
3.None of the civilians may be lobbyists or have any financial connections with the industrial side of the Military-Industrial Complex. (Helps alleviate conflict of interest problems.)
4.The commission reports to the President. However, the commission answers to nobody, including the President. (It has to be totally independent.)
5.After the commission reports to the President, he/she alone decides whether to accept or reject it in its entirety. (Congress can’t come within 50 miles of this. This is just too damned important to let politicians fuck it up.)
I know that all of these stipulations are going to narrow the pool, but we’re a big country. We’ll have enough qualified experts.
As to #5: Yes, presidents are politicians, (duh) but they are in charge of the military.
Accept the report, or reject it – either one will take a great deal of guts (which, unfortunately, have been kind of lacking lately). But, if it enters the body of congress, it’ll be like filet mignon going in and shit coming out.
OK, big dreamer. I got the stopper: What are we going to do with say a million laid off military personnel? There ain’t enough jobs for civilians, let alone ex-military. Countries have fallen in situations like that.
Well, if we are not spending all those billions of dollars every year on enriching the Military-Industrial Complex, we could spend the majority of the savings on infrastructure. That would create a hell of a lot of jobs, which in turn, would have a vast ripple effect in the creation of even more jobs in support. All this, while having the added advantage of safer roads, bridges and dams; better equipped and staffed schools; and better police and safety training and equipment.
A portion of it, of course, would be earmarked for retraining. (Not too much call for cannon cockers in civilian life.) As a model, think “GI Bill” and what it did for WWII vets, (as well as the nation as a whole) especially education-wise.
The rest of the extra money would go a long way towards getting our country’s financial affairs back in order.
Damn big spending liberal! Why not give back the money as lower taxes?
Always a possibility of course. And, after we get things to where they should be, it’s probably the thing to do. But that’s then! This is now! Besides, the truth of the matter is, considering what we expect government to do for us, the taxes we pay are totally in line. Plus, if you’re rich, you already have the lowest tax rates in history for your income bracket.
Alright, marathon readers. That about wraps it up. Thanks for hanging in there.
However, before I go – Are there any unthought of holes in my grandiose theory?
I’m sure that there are. And, that they will be rapidly pointed out to me. As I have repeatedly said, I’m not an expert. However, I strongly contend, and events seem to bare me out, that this is the direction we need to go before it’s too late.
Grouchy

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3 thoughts on “Why Do We Have The Most Powerful Military In The World? (No, seriously. Why?) (pt 2)”
james on July 14, 2012 at 19:20 said:
 
With much less need for the ‘military industrial complex’ to be producing all those yesteryear dinosaurs of gigantic weaponry, they can refocus their efforts on bringing back domestic manufacturing. Everything does not need to be made in China for the lowest possible cost. I’d much rather pay a little more for American-made goods. Problem is I can hardly find any.
Free enterprise and making a profit is fine up to a point, but not an obscene profit that off-shores the good jobs and extracts all the resources and wealth into the hands of a small number of mega-corporations. This leaves the majority of American citizens in hand-to mouth low wage service jobs (if they are lucky), or abject poverty (if they are not) with few other options except the military (if they aren’t 4F) or our ever expanding prisons (another internal militarization of a sort that is a big problem).
Refocusing the military industrial complex (impossible to just get rid of it, although we might wish to) to ensure that most of our various supply chains and manufacturing operations are domestic and that we have plenty of training and good skilled jobs that pay a living wage for our citizens will go a lot farther towards ensuring the future safety and prosperity of Americans than the hyper-militaristic interests we currently have driving the train right off the tracks.
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Daveon July 15, 2012 at 09:58 said:
 
Very well stated.
The only thing I might have a small quibble with is whether Americans would be willing to pay what it would cost for something made in the U.S.A. by people making a “living wage”. We’ve gotten so spoiled that we think we are entitled to pay as little as possible and to hell with the poor splunks working for next to nothing.
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jameson July 17, 2012 at 11:49 said:
 
Yeah, but that’s a bad habit we need to unlearn. One possible way to frame it for those who have a hard time putting two & two together:
What If your brother in law works in a machine shop making some object your small business wants to purchase, wouldn’t you rather know that the higher price you pay for that object is going towards paying your brother in law a living wage so he can keep your nieces & nephews properly housed & fed? Or would you still want to pay less for that object and know that some exploited serf in asia (or wherever) in a sweatshop made it and didn’t get a living wage?
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