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← The Friday Column: “Let the dead bury their dead”
The Friday Column: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses cherish the marital bond?
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Posted on November 28, 2015
Jehovah's Witnesses pride themselves on esteeming the sanctity of marriage. But is this true in all circumstances?
Jehovah’s Witnesses pride themselves on esteeming the sanctity of marriage. But is this true in all circumstances?
This time last year, I began my exit from the Jehovah’s Witnesses. My fade towards inactivity did not go unnoticed.
A few fellow believers and friends approached me with a strong warning: “Be careful. Satan is working through your husband to discourage you from serving Jehovah.”
Why would they jump to such a harsh conclusion? Was he a violent man, physically prohibiting me from attending meetings? Did he yell at me with a raised voice discouraging me from preaching? Did he berate me over my faith, pushing apostate ideas instead of Bible truths?
The answer to all such questions is a resounding “no!” He was the same kind, loving, hard-working, honest moral man I had married. The only thing that had changed was that he, one year prior, had left the religion of his youth, without any wrongdoing, discipline or explanation.
His exit triggered a change in how fellow believers viewed our relationship. For one year, I was constantly reminded of the danger of having a willful unbeliever as a spouse.
As most did, I believed Jehovah’s people respected the family arrangement, including the marital union, even if one was an unbeliever. Yet, this was not my personal experience. While I sought to find a balance in my new role, I received great pressure to give up and leave my husband.
This left me with questions: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses break up families? Do they allow for separation on grounds other than adultery? Finally, why would fellow members insist that Satan was making a personal attack against me via my spouse?
To help make sense of what was happening, I engaged in personal research and reflection.
In October 2014, JW.org posed this very question: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Break Up Families or Build Them Up?
This was their answer…
As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we work to build up families, both our own and those of our neighbors. … In the Bible, [Jehovah] teaches principles that have helped people around the world to have marriages that are strong and happy.
The article continues by giving experiences showing how mixed-belief families were better off because one mate became a Jehovah’s Witness. The newly converted mate could apply Bible principles to settle conflicts and strengthen the marriage bond.
However, the article goes on to admit that conversion could bring about conflict.
Admittedly, sometimes it does. For example, a 1998 report by the research company Sofres found that 1 out of 20 marriages in which only one mate was a Witness had serious problems when that one converted.
Jesus foretold that those who follow his teachings would at times suffer family strife. (Matthew 10:32-36)
As I read the last paragraph, it felt untruthful; an outright conflict of the behavior and teachings of ones inside the organization (bold is mine).
However, the Witnesses do not encourage their members to separate from a marriage mate who is not a Witness. The Bible says: “If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is agreeable to staying with him, let him not leave her; and if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:12, 13) Jehovah’s Witnesses abide by this command.
Perhaps, if I had never been a witness and my husband had remained an unbeliever, congregation members would have provided me support and treated me differently. But, alas, no. Because my husband became an unbeliever, willingly and by choice, I received no such support.
Rather, I had to beg the elders for a shepherding call. At the time, I was desperate for some guidance and help. It was the strangest experience.
Quickly, the tone of the meeting turned. The elders tried to pressure me to reveal private details about my mate’s exit from the organization. I refused. They warned me that Satan would try to “shipwreck” my faith through the actions of, and interactions with, my husband.
I needed encouragement and spiritual counsel. To this end, they provided me with a print out from the September 2006 Watchtower entitled, “When a Loved One Leaves Jehovah.” It described my personal, perceived situation with such descriptive words as deep anguish, devastating, heartbroken and difficult.
The elders tried to confirm this fear by sharing the following excerpt:
So it is not surprising that humans would grieve over the spiritual loss of a beloved relative.
Indeed, the spiritual loss of a loved one is among the most difficult of trials that come upon true worshipers. (Acts 14:22) Jesus said that accepting his message would cause division in some families. (Matthew 10:34-38) This is not because the Bible message of itself causes family division. Rather, unbelieving or unfaithful family members cause a rift by rejecting, abandoning, or even opposing the way of Christianity.
I left that meeting a wreck, and the badgering from congregation members continued. Within weeks of him no longer attending meetings or preaching, members of the congregation, including pioneers, elders, and elder’s wives, began to remind me that my marriage was second to my life and dedication to God. Without asking how things were at home, they began to assume my spouse was interfering with spiritual things.
Over and over again, congregation members offered unsolicited advice: “God comes first, so be prepared to separate.” Further, some even offered to help me pack up my belongings.
Not once did I tell anyone he was preventing me from attending meetings, preaching, or living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, he was still in good standing and had not committed any wrongdoing in the eyes of the congregation.
Now, divorce is only allowed if one of the mates commits adultery. But three extreme circumstances allow for separation. As explained in the book, “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” Appendix:
1.Willful Nonsupport
2.Extreme Physical Abuse
3.Absolute Endangerment of Spiritual Life
Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.
Yet, this was NOT so in my case. Why would they try so hard to push me away from my mate? Truly, I believe it was out of fear that I would begin to awaken and leave off serving Jehovah.
My friends were constantly reminding me that my spiritual life was endangered and the only solution was to separate from my husband.
Sadly, I understood the fear that motivated them. For most of my life, I was told marriage could only succeed if Jehovah was a part of it.
“Threefold cord” is a figurative expression. (Eccl. 4:12) When applied to marriage, it includes the husband and wife, two strands, who are intertwined with the central strand, God. Being united with God gives a couple the spiritual strength to cope with problems and to achieve happiness.—w08 9/15, page 16.
Truthfully, the fault lies with those issuing instructions and enforcing the teachings while disguising these as helpful advice.
I am glad I listened to my heart and common sense. I am grateful I fought to preserve my marriage in the face of conflict and change. We spent time together each day, usually walking in the evenings. This helped to bring us closer.
Honestly, it wasn’t until my husband left that we began to have real, honest conversations. This helped me open my eyes to the truth about this harmful organization. I am no longer a blind drone obeying without thought or consequence.
Is my marriage built up? Am I happier now that I can communicate without fear? Do we have more time to spend together, which in turn strengthens our marriage bond?
Yes! My only regret?
That we did not leave sooner.
jane-redwood-signature
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← The Friday Column: “Let the dead bury their dead”
123 Responses to The Friday Column: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses cherish the marital bond?
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Cedars says:
November 28, 2015 at 5:37 am
I just want to apologize. This article for the Friday Column was meant to go up yesterday (Friday!) but due to complicated circumstances I was unable to publish it on time. I’m sure once you read it you will agree that it was better late than never! Thank you, Jane, for a cogent, insightful look at the strain “fading” can place on a marriage thanks to the “us vs. them” black-and-white thinking of the organization.
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Average Joe says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:43 am
No need to apologise Lloyd as your regular readers amongst know how busy you are, especially with your house reform work (how’s that going by the way?)
I watched your “giveaway” video last night and couldn’t believe the amount of nutters you get on there (Son of Thunder, for one). Don’t let those “Christians” get you down. Most of us value your efforts, even active JWs like me :)
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Jeffreycanning says:
November 28, 2015 at 12:05 pm
No need to apologize but i hope you know how much we appreciate this site…
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Eric Arthur Blair says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:04 am
Fantastic article Jane, you made the right choice. The Watchtower’s hypocrisy on this matter is quite stunning. They demand loyalty to the organisation at any cost, even riding roughshod over direct commands from the bible, like Jesus’ words at Mark 10:9: “what God has yoked together let no MAN put apart.” Of course, in usurping Jesus’ authority they violate just about every other principle and command in the bible too, and effectively invalidate themselves; they are guilty of everything he condemned the Pharisees for. It’s just disgraceful how many lives/marriages/families they are prepared to tear apart in their delusional quest for glory and self-promotion.
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Eric Arthur Blair says:
November 28, 2015 at 4:00 pm
When the Watchtower imposes man made rules that supersede god’s directions (such as Mark 10:9) they are in effect teaching you to obey MAN (them) as ruler rather than God. They would rather tear a marriage apart and keep at least one member captive than risk letting two people think and decided for themselves things which, at the end of the day, are only between them and their god. I find it ironic that this direction is to be found in a book they call “keep yourselves in gods love.” !
(I’m referring to this part of the article):
“Now, divorce is only allowed if one of the mates commits adultery. But three extreme circumstances allow for separation. As explained in the book, “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” Appendix:
Willful Nonsupport
Extreme Physical Abuse
Absolute Endangerment of Spiritual Life
Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.”
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Caltanzee says:
November 28, 2015 at 9:39 pm
Eric Arthur Blair. You said it all for me. You hit the nail right on the head !! It’s all about blind allegiance to the organization and abandon anything, everyone or anything else without due thought or consideration..whereas the scriptures say to prove all things and hold to what is fine..This lady knew she had a good and caring husband, and it was good that she did not allow herself to become deluded by misinformation into making a bad choice..most of watchtower policies are fantasy, whereas we lives in a world of reality.
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Winston Smith says:
November 29, 2015 at 1:26 pm
Insightful comments, Eric. I have often related this to Jesus illustration about the wicked tenant farmers (husbandmen, KJV) at Matthew 21:33-41. When the landowner sent his son to collect his fruit, the tenant farmers say, “This is the heir. Come let’s kill him and take his inheritance!” Notice the goal: to get that which only rightfully belongs to the son.
It seems to me that the organization wants to insert itself as the mediator between God and man, a position that only Christ can rightly claim (1 Tim 2:5). I think this is why Jesus has been pushed more and more into the background as this organization has developed.
WS
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Eric Arthur Blair says:
November 29, 2015 at 5:31 pm
Very true Winston, I completely agree and appreciate the application you make of Jesus’ illustration at Matthew 21:33-41 – the shoe definitely fits. It seems we are kindred spirits in pseudonyms also :)
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Winston Smith says:
November 30, 2015 at 7:11 am
Yes, Orwell’s writings played a key role during my awakening from this organization. 1984 particularly so.
WS
Malachi says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:13 am
Thanks for sharing your story Jane. My wife gets bombarded with ‘How’s Malachi? Tell him we miss him. We really miss his comments.’ constantly and the accompanying sympathetic, knowing look. I don’t think anyone has been so brash as to suggest that she should pack up and leave me, most of her associates are either family or close friends that have known us for many years and I think some suspect that something is up. What most don’t know is that she is planning her exit also and is trying to extricate herself from the old habits that formed with others over the years without looking too obvious. Fortunately she woke up really fast and while I’ve known for a number of years that it’s all a sham I just played along more or less until I found that there were a number of people locally who wanted out. Your article was very well written and researched and I’m sure others will find it useful also.
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Jane Redwood says:
November 28, 2015 at 7:03 am
I had this, too. In fact, at first I was devastated my husband stopped. I was bombarded with questions about him or comments like you mentioned. It made me cry. I just wanted someone to say they were happy to see me instead of “Tell him we miss him.” Finally, I changed the subject. I would say that he is fine and change the subject.
Finally he told me I could tell ones he was taking a break from.religion. I started using this at the 2014 International Convention. But they would cry. It was hard. I wanted to br there but I didnt want to be a sidenote.
I am glad your wife woke up. I hope to help ones by sharing my story of waking up after my mate left and how he removed the blinders without raising typical JW walls.
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Markie says:
November 30, 2015 at 11:29 am
People can be so petty. Just yesterday a sister came up to my son and said it’s so nice to see you we missed you. Mind you my son was gone for a weeks vacation and she was one vacation for two weeks. But she never even thought of the fact that she wasn’t there.
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anonymous4 says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:31 am
The Wikipedia article on Jehovah’s Witnesses repeats some accurate insights about Jehovah’s Witness practice. In Section 8 (Criticism & controversy), 8.1 – Free Speech & thought, mention is made of people (including ex-Witnesses) who compare the Organization to George Orwell’s “1984” novel;as well as calling the Watchtower Society “totalitarian.”
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anonymous4 says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:39 am
I just remembered (perhaps it subconsciously brought the novel to mind), in “1984” the totalitarian regime intentionally broke up a love affair between the 2 main characters.
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Average Joe says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:38 am
Thanks for a lovely article Jane and sharing your experiences. It really is a shame that there are so many judgmental JWs in a religion that professes love. Marriage is a divine institution so both mates should work hard to preserve it in spite of thoughtless, harsh comments from JWs with a shallow view of life and little respect for God’s gift of marriage.
Hugs for you both. AJ
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ruthlee says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:39 am
Do you remember the vow “What God has yoked together let no man put apart”. It gives the idea that no one should intervene or interfere in another person’s marriage. Seems these men want to sanction their own opinion. If a couple do separate it must be their choice no one elses. Too many people want to put their own spanner in the works. Jane I liked your article very much because the aim of your “friends” seemed ambiguous especially if they wanted to assist you in leaving your husband by helping you pack. That would be in direct opposition to the above mandate in the marriage lines. Suffice to say you personal situation gave the vultures plenty of gossip to feed on so you did a public service by allowing them to feed on your life. Funny how we become public property when going through trauma or crisis or just major change. It is all too incestuous for my liking because there is no such thing as a private life so there is no way to dignify another person. Shows me they are a shallow fleshly lot of people. No one who considers anothers right to a private life would deign to be so intrusive. It actualy shows the devi lhas work for idle tongues and hands. No wonder the nickname godbotherers sticks. Gadding about the houses with sodall to do but intrude on other peoples lives. Generally jws should go and get a proper job and butt out of other peoples marriages ruthless/ruthlee.
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Average Joe says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:49 am
Totally agree Ruthlee. As an elder it wouldn’t even cross my mind to stick my nose into someone else’s family business. I go by the UK Police’s policy: ‘never get involved in domestics!’ 😉
We are there to provide spiritual guidance and wellbeing, nothing more. When it comes to real problems (health, psychological, depression etc) then those are best left to the professionals. If a couple experience marriage problems then there are professional counsellors for that too and I can guarantee you that THEY won’t gossip about confidential details to their wives or other family members!
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JJ says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:44 am
Wow, thank you for this article!
I forwarded this on to my wife and asked her if this has been her experience. (I’ll hear later today, I’m sure).
I know that her elder-father and his wife definitely pressured my wife to leave me using his God-given authority because I intercepted many of his emails to his daughter, my wife.
My wife has returned and I know that she would agree our marriage has also never been better since I left the JWs. Hopefully she will start to put things together in her mind and by seeing that this is an organization wide ‘problem’, she will be able to avoid this pressure in the future!
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Jerry O Connor says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:50 am
Hello all.
This story is a carbon copy of my own. I lost my wife, my children, my friends, my home.and life as I knew it. I left watchtower and I had no inkling that I would loose everything. The love that watchtower preaches is conditional. Let no one be in any doubt as to this. They wreck families and leave a trail of desolation in their wake. Watchtower is nothing more than a cult that uses undue influence to an extreme. I hope that it and all other belief systems will be eradicated from the earth. Religion is a blight on mankind. It is for those not able to grasp the fact that death is the end. Belief in something without evidence that it exists takes naievety to its highest level. The word ‘belief’ should be.removed.from usage. The Universe is 13. 7 billion years old. Earth is 4.6 billion years old and we are here because of natural selection by evolution. This is a proven scientific fact. The first destruction of Jerusalem by the.Babylonians took place in 586 bce /587 bce. This is another fact and like evolution is backed by evidence. There is absolutely no evidence for a god of any kind. God did not create man, man created god out of primal fear and superstition. All religions are bad, no redeeming features in any. Ask any of them for solid evidence to back up their outrageous claims and you will find that none exists.
Jerry
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jeff canning says:
November 28, 2015 at 1:53 pm
well said jerry…
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Wendy says:
November 29, 2015 at 7:56 pm
Religion is an invention of man, not God. Being spiritual with a belief in an intelligent creator is different from being religious, which is nothing more than following the traditions of men. Believing that everything came from nothing takes much faith, as there is no evidence to either prove or disprove God’s existence.
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phoenix_rising says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:03 am
I was married young as a JW (not uncommon) around 19. My wife had the dream of fulltime pioneering. I worked hard and became vey adept at finance and by 25 was running my own financial institution. This allowed her fulltime pioneer and not work. She was used for assembly parts, conventions, etc.
I however was constantly chastised for focusing on secular work. Working 50+ hours a week. I would average 8 hours a month service time. But I was constantly felt to be second class and below everyone. The first year my wife and I were smooth sailing. She was reaping all the benefits and life was good! But I became under scrutiny when I would miss on average two Thursday night meetings a month simply because I was too tired. I would be tied in by phone. We owned a simple middle class house – she had a nice car and I had a used one. Money wasn’t exactly flowing – but most families require dual income these days to operate. We did not and we were at about the same level as your average JW.
In my heart I had no desire to pioneer. Zero. I found the ministry intrusive, awkward, and generally a huge waste of time. Especially when I would work long hours the last thing I wanted to do in my time off was hear some loopy old sister in the car ramble on about how many cats she would have in paradise. And if the new scrolls that would be opened would allow her animals to be resurrected.
I had many good friends in the hall – brothers – who I would spoil with grill offs, movie nights etc. Simple but a way to give poor brothers a chance to just relax. Well this all culminated to a head when the new CO came around and brought me and my wife into a room. He berated me with scripture after scripture about how I was storing up treasures on earth, how I was buying my way into paradise by using my wifes pioneering as a meal ticket, and how I was a “Fulltime pioneer of being good time charley.”
This taking away of power and belittling me had a bad impact on my wife. She began to demand I aux pioneer too. And not be viewed as materialistic. It was amazing to me in about six months she had a total “Us vs you” mentality. Anytime I would sleep in on Saturday while she went to work I was given the cold shoulder the rest of the weekend. You can imagine trying to reason and the arguments that came about when the very job that was supporting her JW lifestyle was also the problem. Fast forward two years later – we are sitting before two elders and I lay down the smack. “You want change? Fine. She needs to quit fulltime pioneering and get a job so I can step down to a lesser position to lessen my work hours. You either keep it the way it is – or we both change our lifestyle.”
There was a marking talk on Husbands who even within the congregation endanger their wives spirituality. The elders felt I was being selfish and robbing her of her dream and stealing from Jah. They began sending her articles on separation and eventually she moved in with another sister. Unbelievable. The mental turmoil I felt during these years was unreal. My happy, emotional, sexually normal and productive marriage had been slowly eroded to “Sell all your possessions – find a way to pioneer like your wife – and leave it in Jahs hands. Until then – you have been marked. ” We stopped talking, seeing each other, and she would always say “I hope you figure this out before Armageddon.”
So even within the congregation – the us vs you mentality can hit home. It certainly did for me. Is my situation the norm? I have no idea – but there were three elders who never once were reasonable – respected my headship – or stood with my decisions. Decisions I might add that were none of there business to meddle in.
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phoenix_rising says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:07 am
I meant when I slept in on Saturday because of working and she went out in service. Oops!
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Tara says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:27 am
sure you did.. you just waited until she went out the door and then ran round the house in your boxers and played on the Xbox 😉 lol. seriously though, that is terrible what they put you through. I can’t remember you saying if you and your wife are back together I hope she saw what was happening and woke up. Big hug hun.
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phoenix_rising says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:55 am
I will also never forget getting into arguments because I refused to go out in service on Thanksgiving and X-Mas day. I was like “Good lord! That’s so tacky!”
and then yes I would play X-box. lol
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ruthlee says:
November 28, 2015 at 10:57 am
Dear phoenix rising damned if you do damned if you don’t your crazy crazy story just shows the pressure the poor elders are under to bankrupt any one successful and generally working hard to provide. And of course that poor dear circus overdub has to keep the minions in check and berate you for being a good citizen and honourable husband. Guess what phoenix, if you had been a nasty man you probably would have got in the year book but being a good man they had to trample on you. Your foolish wife did not know how good she had it . Her freedom to knock doors all day at your expense and yet it all got sabotaged and all for what? Who won in your war who walked away happy in their victory? Your experience is wrong on so many levels it truly is beyond belief. The wicked moral guardians are shameful and disgraceful. I hope you got your life back on track and are happy now.On a last note the victims in this war have all lost something and now it is all coming out I wonder if there was ANY truth with this cowboy outfit! ruthlee
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Mara Jacobs-Proctor says:
November 28, 2015 at 10:44 am
Hi Phoenix, So sorry they put you through that. You might want to look at my post…as an older person who did have a husband who put concerns about making money aside because Armageddon was so close. That was 40 plus years ago. Let’s skip ahead to 2015… no Armageddon and no savings for retirement! We’re up the creek without a paddle! I’m sorry for your loss but I’m glad you didn’t do what we did!
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Garrett says:
November 28, 2015 at 3:55 pm
Wow dude.
Read your story.
I feel really bad for you.
So glad I’m outa the cult.
It sounds like you’ll have to get tough… take a real stand and see where the chips fall.
Best wishes
G
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Jo says:
November 28, 2015 at 4:13 pm
Well for one thing I can read between the lines is that you have an attitude problem with the females. What is this power that you think you have? And why do you feel belittled?
I am no longer a JW and my husband woke up to the sexist ways of the JWs. I don’t believe in headship, two way respect is all that’s needed in any relationship.
The little old ladies you are using as your example of annoyance might have lost children and long lost loves along the way, she might very well put all her love into her little animal companions, but why criticise her and why are you picking on a little old lady, why don’t you use as an example the old fart men who suffer enlarged prostates, flatulence, sits with their legs apart, and then has the audacity to perve on a young sister walking past?
I suspect your problem is not only interfering JWs but your own lack of relationship with your wife, stop seeing yourself as top dog and the all important male and just become a nice respectful person to yourself and those around you.
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Phoenix_rising says:
November 28, 2015 at 4:54 pm
^ this lol
I’ll respond later. But thanks for your thoughts. For the record I feel sisters or women are treated as second class in all ways in the JW. Read between the lines indeed – You might find one between a ring finger and a pointer with a judgemental responses like that.
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Sara says:
November 28, 2015 at 5:58 pm
Hello Jo,
Lol I so laughed at your comment, I too noticed the seeming importance of power and headship . But I so relate to your example of these old bastards of Elders and Ministerial Servants who constantly pass judgement on the sisters, they make you sick. as far I can read in the bible, man has been to his own ruin it’s just amazing how forgiving the females have been , I suppose we are always hoping they will change, lol, yeah right, fat chance!
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Caltanzee says:
November 29, 2015 at 5:22 am
Phoenix_risin, let’s hope your wife wake up to critical thinking just as Jane did, and to realize that she are being conned into obeying wicked sinfull men rather than God And Christ. For it was Christ who empathize to the deluded Pharisees that what God has yoked together no man should pull apart.Thus in this as in so many instances.watchtower directives goes contrary to the very teachings of Christ. I hope she soon come to realize that you were not the problem in the marriage, but that the real culprit was the undue influence and indoctrination of watchtower’s pharisaical spin doctors.
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Meredith J says:
November 30, 2015 at 1:40 am
Oh pheonix_rising. That experience kind of sounds familiar. This article makes you realise how much manipulation went on in marriages. How many Watchtowers did we get that explained that a married man with children should be not only reaching out for a position but also to be conducting the family bible study every week.
My husband had so much trouble with this for some reason. I think he didn’t like the idea of having a separate night just for bible study with the family. There was so much time dedicated to everything spiritual, it was one extra burden he had to think of. He felt burnt out after awhile and refused to do it, so I berated him for this. The Watctowers always encouraged this endlessly. They were obsessed about it. I feel so bad now when I think about it. It raised awful arguments which were very distressing for both of us. We fought about it for years. I even remember thinking he had become some sort of failure. That is so evil to feel like that about your mate without cause.
I cannot believe how pushy they were to be judgmental and bossy with our spouse. The whole religion was just criticism and dobbing someone else in. They certainly tried very hard to break up marriages. Yours is a classic example. They interfered with what God said that no man was to put apart.
What a horrendous situation you had to put up with. It must have been unbearable and to have your marriage snatched away from you by these evil people is beyond belief.
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Tara says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:17 am
I had to smile and nod my head at this article. My daughter married out of the truth and had a baby. Both of these acts led to her being df’d for close to two years. She came back because she missed her friends, nothing more. But now the visits have started. Every Saturday morning the elders and their wives can’t seem to hold their bladders whilst out in service and come knocking on her door – as you can imagine this is getting annoying. Last Saturday, as per an elder knocks on her door with his elderette in tow and the conversation gets around to her ‘not keeping your promise to perform your sacred duty and be out in service’…. yadda yadda yadda…. anyway they then start to turn it around to her husband and how he is keeping her away from the meetings and service and she must put God and them first…. as you can imagine when I saw her later that day she was livid. Did their visit encourage her to do more? Not a cat in hells chance. It made her dig her heels in and vow to not be home on a Saturday am. Now this ticks me off because it means we have to leave the house (I live in the suite and always leave on a Sat am) so as to avoid unwanted guests. This is upsetting her husband as you can imagine. He like to lounge around in his ‘shorts’ and play xbox (sigh’s) as they do lol.
p.s My son in law had put up ‘his’ Christmas tree the night before.
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Kat says:
November 28, 2015 at 5:20 pm
No JW wants to think, or allow themselves to think people dislike service and meetings. They naturally assume it must be an Unnatural force like Satan that controls the person. If you don’t attend meeting IT MUST be the unbelieving mate, Satan or some other person as no one would hate this foolish life of perpetual monotony.
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just asking says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:22 am
Can’t these guys leave people alone for once to make personal decisions?
Why do they always contradict what they write?
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ENLIGHTENED says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:34 am
This the the exact story of my life. I married a 3rd generation JW, he left in 1961 following the birth of our first child……..I was devastated. The elders warned me he would have 7 demons move in on him………I was in spiritual danger. They tried to break up our marriage. Thank goodness it didn’t happen. I left in 1986……stayed much too long. Didn’t want to hurt my JW family. Now they don’t speak, I am apostate worthy of death.
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ruthlee says:
November 30, 2015 at 4:14 am
no you are not! you are a sucess story no matter how long the story took to unfold.ENLIGHTENED if you still believe in god(your choice of course) you actually stuck to the divine mandate to stay together as you both made the vow , not the people who witnessed your marriage. By the way how are those demons who set up home in your place all those years ago? I bet you have had to make endless cups of tea to satisfy their need to intrude in your life! So thinking of it you are not worthy of death just the opposite but a life of a few regrets like all of us but life just the same. ruthlee
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Cherie says:
November 28, 2015 at 9:45 am
I think it just goes to prove that all JW relationships are conditional. Many JW men I knew were big-time control freaks and there’s nothing loving or kind about a control freak.
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Mara Jacobs-Proctor says:
November 28, 2015 at 10:22 am
Hi Jane, Thank you for the lovely article. This issue is something that I’ve given a great deal of thought to. I began my exit in the spring of 2014. It was then that I started to realize how WT teachings affected our 40 plus year marriage, and not in a good way. What led me to this conclusion was the fact that when I stopped all JW activity, I expected our marriage to get even more difficult. We were both JWs, but our marriage was filled with anger and resentment. At times I even felt like I hated my husband! But much to my surprise, he started to be noticeably nicer to me. I figured out that maybe some of it was ‘love bombing’ but the main reason was because he didn’t feel responsible, as my ‘head’, to control my behavior. There are no instructions of how to be a head of a family in real life and my husband would lean toward the extra fanatical application of things. That’s his personality. But it would not have been an issue if WT didn’t convince him that he had to control all decisions and actions of his wife in order to not be held accountable before God at Armageddon. He felt this responsibility very deeply.
A couple of examples: Our childbearing years were around the 1975 date. It was drummed into our heads that having children would show a lack of faith in God’s promises, that it was not the time to be having children. However, I desperately wanted children. We did finally have one child in 1983 but I wanted one or two more. We fought about this so much and for so many years. It was horrible. He was so cold hearted about his refusal. I thought of leaving but of course, as a good JW, leaving your husband in those days was not an option! He’s not much of a communicator so he never came out and said that WT had a lot to do with his decision, so I just thought he as a horrible, heartless person. When I left the org., I realized how much he was influenced by them and that he was a victim as well. That helped me to finally start to let go of the hurt and anger.
Another issue was finances. He was convinced that to try to make enough money to have savings and a good life style was materialistic. Armageddon was coming in the next few months!!! So why paint the Titanic? He passed up some wonderful business opportunities to ‘simplify’, as WT says to do. We potentially lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Now he’s close to retirement and we’re trying to scrape together enough cash to prevent our utilities from being shut off! We have nothing for retirement because we followed instructions from the GB and put our lives on hold because we were ‘so close to the end’.
These things and other issues drove a terrible wedge between us and just about destroyed our marriage. So NO! I don’t think WT creates good marriages. In these and in many other ways, as you mentioned, they destroy marriages!
One other thing I wanted to comment on was how WT misapplies Matthew 10:35,36. First all, he said nothing about coming between a husband and wife. And if you read the context, he was speaking about a time of persecution and how your own family could possibly betray you to authorities. He was not speaking about every day life. He did say to put him first, but the problem is that most of what the GB says Jesus wants us to do and thus we must throw our family away for, is simply the GB’s twist on his words and is not scriptural. They paint anyone who does not agree with them as mentally diseased apostates! If that won’t cause problems in a marriage when one person leaves WT, nothing will. And they blame the person who left, not their false teachings and policies. They are causing the problem, not the person who finally had the courage to stand up for what they’ve come to see is right. They seem to have skipped over the verses in Proverbs 6;16-19 where it says that one of the seven things that God hates the most is ‘anyone sowing contentions among brothers’!
It was helpful to read what you experienced as the mate of someone who left the org. I’ll keep these things in mind when dealing with my husband. I know he has had to field many, many questions about me and why I don’t come anymore. I know people are bewildered why someone who had been a witness for over 40 years wants nothing to do with it anymore. He comes home from an assembly with a list of all the many ‘friends’ who want him to say to hi to me for them. And who knows what the elders ask about me. It must be very unpleasant for him, being put on the spot over and over again, and I try to keep that in mind. And as your husband did, I don’t try to stop or oppose him. I don’t want him to do that to me so I don’t do it to him. But on the rare occasions he has brought the subject up, I have answered honestly and held nothing back.
I’m very happy for you and your husband that you both ‘get it’. As I mentioned, I feel my marriage has improved with just one of us leaving. I hope so much that he’ll just wake up one day. I can’t imagine how great that would be and the positive effect that would have on our marriage!
Guess I just needed to vent! Take care.
Mara
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Searchinglad says:
November 28, 2015 at 10:52 am
I broke down in tears…. I informed my wife I have major doubts just this past Monday. She does not know I’m mentally out.
Her reaction was sobbing and saying I ruined our perfect marriage…. And this is only because of questions that I said I had and after stressing I have no intentions of leaving her. I, me, personally am at fault for ruining our marriage??? Some how because I want to use my brain I am being tricked by Satan himself and are the cause of our marriage breaking down. Not the organization that trained her, brainwashed her, to react that way….
I fear what happens when she finds out I’m mentally out as well and start making moves to physically remove myself. Her father is very authorative and will make moves to get her and my kids to move away.
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Anonymous says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:07 am
I can relate to your feelings.
After thorough investigation to strengthen my faith, I concluded that I had to leave JW.
When I told my wife some weeks ago, her reaction was the same. The shock is so big, she doesn’t know if we can stay together.
Just be the best husband ever. As the bible says, your spouse can be won/converted without words, but by your behaviour.
That’s my strategy for now.
Don’t argue with her about your differences, it will drive you apart. Focus on loving her, I am confident the rest will work out in time.
Good luck!
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eyes opened says:
November 28, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Wonderful attitude! I wish you success.
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eyes opened says:
November 28, 2015 at 1:49 pm
Good advice from anonymous. I wish you success, searchinglad. Sorry I didn’t make it clear.
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Jane Redwood says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:38 am
The shock is great at first. When he told me, I flipped out. I was crying. I saw my future everlasting life with my mate vanish. I was crushed. I even selfishly worried about how we couldnt have gatherings anymore. Just be patient. Giver her time. And try to spend quality time with her. We walked every night. See my other reply below. Keep us updated. Hang in there.
I never thought I would leave. We were both born-in and very active. I pioneered for years and aux pioneered for years. My faith was who I was. But I did. 1 year later.
Kindly- Jane
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JB Reezner says:
November 28, 2015 at 1:19 pm
Searchinglad, what a tough situation. Anonymous’ advice sounds exactly right. I say flood her with assurances that you love her and don’t want to lose her or the kids, and that you have no intentions of impeding her spiritual pursuits. Maybe eventually add: There are many things about the Org that you believe simply could not be true if it had the backing of a wise and loving God. However, although you hope she asks you one day about those things, you don’t intend to try to sabotage her faith.
I don’t know. It “looks good on paper” anyway. I’ve never been in that situation, so please at least accept my moral support. I wish you the best (and you too, Anonymous).
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Anonymous says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:01 am
I just quit, my wife didn’t.
She really is heartbroken but wants to fight for our marriage.
Hopefully in one year she’ll be in the same position that you are now…
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Jane Redwood says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:31 am
I hope so, too. I was heartbroken when my husband quit. I broke down in tears for weeks. I would cry in my car after the meetings before returning home. I was overwhelmed by how many would ask about him or all of the advice given. The best thing that helped me wake up is that we walked almost every night. We talked. He never attacked the organization. He was humble. On many occasions he said that he may be wrong and hoped he was wrong and if I could prove it, he would listen. I began to research their literature. He would very carefully mention how he felt. I encouraged him to talk to me. I knew it was his feelings and he had a right to feel how he did. He said he was taking two steps back from religion and the organization. But he never shoved any apostate information down my throat. Rather he encouraged me to go to the meetings. Even when I started waking up, he didnt want me to quit for him. I had to be sure. So I would not be bitter. The first thing that happened is I wasn’t being invited out or included and I was very active. And when I saw that my husband lost all of his friends of 47 years without any concern, it affected me – even the elders did not visit. A ton of things I kept to myself. The elders even asked me if they should come, when and what should they say. Really? As a victim of abuse by a JW mother, I was affected by him telling me about the Candace Conti case. I looked up the court documents as they were not apostate. It was a kick-in-the-gut to learn the two witness rule, that left me being abused, was a policy and not a mistake by my local, elderly brothers.
I hope this helps give you some ideas. If you have a FB acct (or set one up with an alias as we did) feel free to friend us or message us for advice. John Redwood would love to give some tips.
As you can see, I have more to say and will continue to share so as to assist ones that left and still have a mate “in” the organization.
Kindly – Jane
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Born 2B Free says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:03 am
This really hits a nerve. My life has been shredded by JW meddling in my marriages. If my opinions differed from that of the elders, or whatever congregation members were making the most noise at the moment, they would go around me and tell my wife to act in harmony with their wishes, and not to cooperate with me.
A friend is currently having a rough time in his marriage and they refuse to help in any way because the elders had advised him against getting married and, in their eyes, he put himself beyond help by disobeying the elders.
It’s ludicrous and entirely unscriptural. They don’t respect marriage, and they don’t respect the family. The only thing that matters anymore is their stupid “elder arrangement” which they have convinced themselves lends the weight of Divine decree to every bit of counsel the elders give, no matter how ill-conceived or uninformed.
Sadly, many times they try to impose their opinions in areas that are far beyond the knowledge they possess. Many elders are simple working class people of limited education. I don’t have a problem with that at all, but they should realize that getting the national average number of field service hours per month and being appointed as elders does not give them any special insights into treating depression (a rampant near-pandemic in the organization), alcoholism, marital problems, etc. While I claim no more than a layman’s knowledge of psychology, even a cursory study of psych’ reveals that much of the elder’s “loving counsel” is laughably ignorant of the complexities involved in counseling.
When I was divorced, I asked an elder to help facilitate communication and, hopefully, save a marriage. He would not so much as make a phone call. Elders frequently will resort to saying that they hesitate for act for fear that they may be supporting me in erroneous behavior. Nothing like pulling your head into your shell and avoiding taking a stand on anything. Cowards!
Much like the author of this article, my greatest regret is the fact that I didn’t get out sooner. The toll in grief, emotional pain, the costs of divorce and the frustrations of being treated unjustly tore my life apart a the seams and, even now, my relationship with my family is hindered and I live alone in this world; in great part because of the “loving counsel” of “God’s organization”.
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Thinking of leaving says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:36 am
Re tara = I read your post with interest. Although I have never been married I have to say my experience to fading was the exact opposite to your daughters. I walked out the door just on 2.5 years ago after 40 years of been a loyal publisher. Not one elders visit and only 3 cong members could be bothered to knock on my door and find out how I was. Mind you 2 of those 3 people who visited they were out out in FS – so I guess go figure. Although I wanted nothing more to do with the religion (due to my research on the internet), I had never verbally expressed this and was just seen as an inactive publisher. It just strikes me as odd just to the lack of follow up they showed. Well Tara that was my experience with the JWs. Every time I hear of people been harassed and unwelcome visits I always like to mention this.
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Jane Redwood says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:48 am
That has been our experience, too. John left two years ago and myself, one. We just walked out, same as you. Not one visit from an elder. I was surprised. They didn’t even bring us the brochure this summer.
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Tara says:
November 28, 2015 at 2:02 pm
I was actually shunned the whole time my daughter was df’d. No one came to visit me until she was reinstated and then they started to come knocking… hypocrites that they are. In past posts I have given an account of things that happened plus the ‘oh we came to see how you are… oh by the way is it true you went to your df’d sons wedding’. They don’t care, they want dirt. I stayed home this am and went into a back room with the tv up and my granddaughter to play with. If they knocked I didn’t hear them. Just made sure the door was locked.
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covertfade says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:42 am
Jane, thanks so much for sharing your experience.
It highlights once again the difference between what the “official” line on a certain teaching might be (Marriage is sacred, stick with your unbelieving mate) and what the actual reality is in witness culture (So your mate is no longer a witness? Hmm, might want to pull the eject handles on that relationship.)
I’m very glad you and your husband were able to come through this intact. I had to leave behind a girl I was dating and had pretty much fallen in love with when I left the bOrg. I was willing to be with someone who had different religious beliefs to mine. Her, not so much, but I know that sadly this choice came from the brainwashing and not the person she was inside.
It’s sickening to think of how many broken relationships could still be whole and happy if it wasn’t for this cult. :(
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Jeffreycanning says:
November 28, 2015 at 12:00 pm
Oh yeah! Don’t we all wish we left earlier…
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Mikeinkona says:
November 28, 2015 at 12:13 pm
Thank you very much for writing your life story Jane. And thanks to Jerry and Phoenix and others. The common stories we share are enough to make anyone cry. The devastation that results when an organization and its rules and perceptions are held higher than the human needs we all have, is inevitable. I wish I could share all these posts as well as Janes heartfelt experience with my family. I cannot. My mom, wife,( ex) and my kids are blinded as to the truth of what has happened to them. I also, have lost all. Thank god ( just an expression ) I have a few caring people in my life. The woman who I am now with is loving and kind and does not just love me based on my beliefs or religion. I also feel like way too many years went by before extricating myself from this bankrupt cult. I knew things didn’t add up some nice I was a young man. I always bought into the party line…Jah sees all and will fix things in his own time. Oh well..in the meantime way too many good families are ruined. Born in JWs are not raised to know how to handle real life. We are at a disadvantage. It’s good to know that we all are not alone. But…shared bad experiences are still bad experiences. I wish you all well and a good recovery from this mind numbing, careless and judge mental cult. Let’s keep supporting each other. It’s good to feel the compassion and love. Aloha
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Sixpack says:
November 28, 2015 at 12:29 pm
As a faded hidden elder this struck a real cord with me as I saw so many trying to use the spiritual engagement as an excuse to leave husbands.
To me as someone who didn’t grow up in the cult I can safely say this religion hates marriage, especially of it’s not with two witnesses.
Thank you for sharing your story.
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JB Reezner says:
November 28, 2015 at 12:34 pm
Great article, Jane. I’m glad to know that things have worked out well for you and your husband, in spite of the barrage of attacks on your marriage.
Losing one’s ability to think rationally is such a sad part of cult indoctrination. I mean, even apart from the faulty belief system that’s inserted into one’s mind, a person’s GENERAL thinking ability and judgment can become so terribly stunted as the rational part of the mind erodes. As a result, even when the cult’s own doctrine doesn’t prescribe some illogical conclusion, or some irrational, destructive course of action, the individual’s mind already leans in that direction.
And then, there’s that other thing. The fact that a high percentage of cult members “wouldn’t have the sense God gave a goose” whether they ended up in a cult or not. (All present company on this site excluded, of course.) Those can really be some of the most dangerous ones. I’m sure we’ve all seen far too many stupid people in positions of authority hurt vulnerable, powerless JWs. Ugg, this cult has got to go.
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Willy says:
November 28, 2015 at 1:28 pm
The Watchtower changes regular people from human to emotionless drones that don’t care about all the bad that others endure. During a Thanksgiving Meal not one person mentioned Syria, Middle Eastern-Russian Crisis, the Belgian-French Massacre. All they said was:”
“Dear Jehovah please watch over your people all over the Earth, please help those taking a lead in the preaching and please watch over the Governing Body.”.
We had Average Jerry who committed adultery four times, and Daisy, she figured out how to drive all her men away once she tired of them or got bored. Jerry and Daisy both enjoyed privileges “holding microphones”, “lead builder”, “finance Kingdom Hall Big Dog” yet both of these Witnesses were the most wicked spouses ever. There’s a lot of Witnesses who stay together even though they hate each other, loveless fake relationships because their afraid of losing their social status these creeps think they have!
The Elders overlooked one Elder’s indiscretions for decades, he and his wife had seven kids and after using her up and boldly proclaiming his “undying love” by running off with a 24 year old Pioneer. Since he was so good at gardening the Kingdom Hall Complex, his punishment was short, less than a shoplifter or teen who confessed to smoking weed!
Only in the Jehovah Witness Religion can someone commit one of the worst sins and get back quicker than others who did not, divorce is prevalent and the poor sisters are left with such a poor gene pool of defective men! back among our ranks in one year. Only Jehovah’s Witnesses are the religion I’ve noticed on my four decades on Earth that must tell themselves constantly “we have the truth!”. Their marriage life shows the opposite, their treatment of family and friends defy’s all logic to believe if Jesus was around he would want a group of greedy, miserable and pitiful creatures so mentally disturbed!
Add in how bad this religion is for mates who think, ones who use their brain! One mate who uses the Bible and words of old Watchtowers to prove its a Scam, that puts lots of pressure on already fragile JW relationships. Keep up your good work, your articles are busting, making cracks inside the Watchtower’s bronze-clay feet. Your site plus aided by so many Internet truths is turning most Witness kids away from religion entirely and JWs wanting to please their religious messiahs put additional stress on the martial bonds when one of the mates are willing to cut-off their child after decades of love. Thank you for writing such a touching article of truth!
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jeff canning says:
November 28, 2015 at 2:10 pm
And one more thing… I was in a bad marriage, overseer knew of it, told visiting District Overseer, he had a quiet word with me out witnessing one day he said ‘Hang in there it will all be over soon and to illustrate he told me how the Brothers at Bethel (Australia) were gathering names of Brothers who work in the utilities so they can make a smooth transition when the end comes in (Months now not years) and the power and water won’t go off… that was around 1974ish. Glad I didn’t take his advice I been remarried and totally happy now for twenty years. Why did we ever listen to these clowns?
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dee says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:04 am
“……..he told me how the Brothers at Bethel (Australia) were gathering names of Brothers who work in the utilities so they can make a smooth transition when the end comes in (Months now not years) and the power and water won’t go off……”
Always did wonder how those JW Armageddon survivors were going to manage……
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isawthelight says:
November 28, 2015 at 2:45 pm
Don’t let a cult break up anyone’s marriage.They have this nonsense that one leaves Jehovah when they stop going to meetings.They have it WRONG. When one stops going to meetings he or she is leaving the cult,not Jehovah.They put Jehovah in it because they want you to think otherwise.Its not Jehovah. Jehovah is not even involved with their nonsense.Remember it is them that says the orgination is the channel of God.No one else says it.They say it because they are trying to even convince themselves.That is the way a cult operates. They heap praises on themselves because no one else does.They are a homebreaking cult. CASE CLOSED.
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Bill Hahn says:
November 28, 2015 at 2:47 pm
Excellent article Jane. I was in Johns position and the Elders forced a seperation which broke our family.
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John says:
November 28, 2015 at 3:42 pm
Thank you so much for writing this article. I’m so proud of you and your husband. I’m in the same situation. I woke up about 2 years ago but my wife is still a firm beleiver. I’m following your husband’s example in trying to be the most loving and understanding husband I can. I still am a very morally upright person and I respect my wife’s choice to believe in what she wants. Unfortunately I don’t think she’ll ever come around. But that doesn’t change the fact that our marriage is better than it ever has been
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Garrett says:
November 28, 2015 at 3:46 pm
Thanks Jane for your hard work on this piece and sharing your experience.
My how the Borg changes. My father was THE congregation servant in the 1950s.(there was only one “elder” per congregation.
Back then wife’s could only separate for an adulterous mate. As such, one sister in the hall and her kids received beatings and endless abuse by the husband……my father told her to separate but he was going against the organization… they couldn’t separate…..but eventually did…
Ahhhhhhhhh……….. BUT the light got brighter and then there were several reasons you mentioned for separation . How many women were beaten or killed because of the watchtower’s BS policies?
Common sense never trumps the GB. And the light always gets brighter.
I live for the fall of this cult.
Glad you made it out.
Breath the free air.
It’s wonderful.
Garrett
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Chiafade says:
November 29, 2015 at 9:36 am
Yes the damage is done and the organization never once APOLOGIZED for their erroneous ludicrous policies.
A mate HAD to be adulterous there were no other grounds for divorce. Even worse is that adultery was defined as a man sleeping with a woman. Vaginal intercourse ONLY. Which means that he could have anal intercourse with man or woman or have sex with a beast and she had no grounds for divorce.
I made a whole file on these ridiculous definitions from watchtower. Sick sick SICK stuff.
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Jacqueline says:
November 28, 2015 at 3:57 pm
It is always the witnesses off behavior and comments that awakens many. They don’t realize they are off. Why would you speak in another person’s marriage? I never allowed anyone to ask or say anything to me about my husband.
It got you out of that system. I am happy for you. Thank you for sharing an intimate part of your life with us. Enjoy yourselves and stick together.
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Debbie smith says:
November 28, 2015 at 6:30 pm
Great article. I’m happy for you both.
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Sheree says:
November 28, 2015 at 7:00 pm
While not exactly the same as my situation, there are many commonalities. I became a JW in my late teens while still living with my non-JW parents. Of course, this caused a lot of tension in my family and often I would feel I was being persecuted by my none-too-thrilled parents. It is also a peculiarity of being a teenager that one feels one’s parents are being unfair, so I had a double whammy of issues with my parents.
I lived with my parents for most of my 20s too. I couldn’t even begin to remember how many times people in my congregation told me things like “Satan is speaking through your mother,” or “Satan is using your parents to try to discourage you…” and I distinctly remember the worst instances: how at one midweek meeting I’d had an argument with Mum before going to the meeting and I was telling a brother about it and he said, “Oh well, Armageddon is coming soon and your mother will die and you’ll be rid of her.”
I stormed away from him in shock. That, of course, was the worst instance, but the many years I was with my parents were peppered with instances similar to what the author has experienced.
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Enuffsenuff says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:03 pm
The following is my wife’s experience. (I had my own troubles with elders, including being marked, writing letters about me that were false, ad infinitum)
She writes; My personal experience with Elders getting involved in my marriage is shocking. For 12 years I and my then spouse would end up in front of the Elders because of his violence in dealing with myself and my children. Every two years we would go and the Elders would “counsel” him about his tendency for violent fits of anger. At the end of that time the Police got involved and still I called the Elders to come help me. They arrived about 10 minutes before the Police and were witnesses to his arrest. Fortunately where I lived the Police automatically place a violence protection order/restraining order in place whether you want it or not. I specifically remember a Police Woman standing in front of me and she said, “You know it will only get worse. Do not remove this restraining order.” I thought about the previous 12 years and could see that she was right. It was getting worse. All those meetings with Elders produced nothing. A few weeks after his arrest my children and I went before the Elders to give witness to my now ex’s violence and abuse. Towards the end of our meeting, the Elders asked me to go to court and have the restraining order removed so they could help us “mend our marriage.” I was shocked that they would even ask since two of the 3 men were at my house when he was arrested. I told them “No, I can’t do that. If I do that he will be back in my home within 3 weeks and the same things would start all over again.” They told me that they only way they would help me is if I dropped the order since they didn’t want to violate the order by being a “go between”. Again I told them no. They concluded by telling me and my children they would not help us. And that is just what happened. They stopped talking to me or my children and even went as far as telling me not to come to the meetings if I had been crying because several found it distressing to see me so upset.
Never, never, never allow the Elders to get involved in your business. Later as I was relating to my Dad what the Elders had said, he told me (he had been an Elder for many years) “I am glad you didn’t drop it and are getting a divorce. I have been afraid for years that he was gonna kill you one day.” Now, I am happily married to a wonderful man and he and I, together, have faded from the Org. There are other even more complicated reasons that add to why that is so. But that’s for another day.
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ThePenthouseExperience says:
November 28, 2015 at 8:09 pm
I was reluctant to comment on this thread–not my cup of tea, but I will give some over-arching insights, namely, the “JW Commune of the Mind”. JW pride does not permit and counters with “we’re not a cult–we’re normal!! (obsession with appearing normal)
Just look how we get married and have kids??” Lord, Lord, did we not marry and multiply in your name?
However, if I trace parallel lines and line-up the Fundamental LDS (Jeffs), Islam, conservative fringe Christian churches and JW’s, I find one common trait–subservient requirement from women, right down to the requirement for head-covering. It may not be a burka, but many JW women and ultra-conservative Christian women will cover their head in church/KH, or while conducting/attending services.
Underlining the tone of subservient women, I note that the women mentioned above were most “presumptious” in doling out advice–sort of like they were “women elders”? Perhaps the men-elders let their women-folk run amuck in this congregation (haven’t quite mastered the art of bare-knuckle dragging through the kingdom hall aisles)? Also note that special pioneers and other women are undoubtedly translating their pent-up sexual energies into full-time service; in short, there is something unspoken behind their eagerness to see the breakup of a marriage–another single female means less pitiful stares in their direction (“poor spinster, dear, can’t hold onto a man”). Dare I get in touch with my female-side and mention the Hollywood film (the classic or the remake) “The Women” where an ambitious female orchestrates a breakup of a marriage to be outclassed by other females to reunite the couple? In this case, Jane would have left her husband, the husband by some strange coincidence returns to the Faith, one of these “spinsters” picks him off from the penitence pew, and Jane is left wandering what the h—?
Another facet of this, is the once-and-often highlighted dichotomy in Witness thinking–much to the delight of agnostics and atheist–where Jesus speaks of uniting families, and the Watchtower goes gangbusters with this, then Jesus contradicts and states He is here to divide families. Pretty ballsy of the Watchtower to put it in the same article for any family court attorney to pickup on it.
In this tale of woe and triumph here, the elders were doing their part as KGB henchmen while the neighborhood block leaders (“sisters”) seemed to be all over the map with self-serving advice.
In conclusion,
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Man from the lions pit says:
November 28, 2015 at 9:49 pm
Thanks Jane for sharing your personal but unfortunately not unusual and rare experience of life behind the curtain as JW.
Glad that all worked well at the end in your case in hope your article will help many in similar situation.
Ice is melting and global warming is real thus leadership of “our corrupt and unfaithful org.” loosing their footprint” thanks to site like this and articles like yours.
Best regards and big hugs
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vigilante consapevole says:
November 28, 2015 at 11:32 pm
http://www.zions.club/cosa/2015/09/06/039-cosa-vuol-dire-sposarsi-solo-nel-signore/
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 29, 2015 at 12:03 am
@phoenix_rising
WOW!! What a nightmarish example of KGB-style BRAINWASHING, coercion and undue influence!! No offence dude, but your wife is obviously a weak-minded Bimbo and you’re probably better off without her. Though in all sincerity I do hope she comes to her senses.
I posted earlier about comparisons of WT, to totalitarianism as well as to George Orwell’s allegorical novel “1984.” Don’t know if you’ve read it (synopsis on Wikipedia) but your experience reflects the story of the 2 main characters almost to a T (except for the threat of torture). Trust me though, your experience is not unique, in or out of the Watchtower Society. I have experienced a similar situation in “the World” (though I wasn’t actually married to the person). I can see how it went down, though. Just use simple “Alpha Male” psychology…You were being a “good guy,” having folks over for BBQs, movies and whatever, “sharing the wealth” so to speak. Naturally, this made you popular. Oh oh! Red Flag! Popular is no good in JW.borg if you’re just one of the peons! Only the elders (and their wives and kids) get to be the “Big Dogs”! Not to mention Mister Big Shot Superhero Circuit Overseer! Those Major Jerks obviously were threatened by your popularity, generosity and overall decency, and found a way to UNDERMINE you through the COWARD’s favorite technique: MOB CHARACTER ASSASSINATION.
In conclusion, the Devil with them, and, I’m sorry brother, but if your wife doesn’t shape up, the Devil with her too — the INGRATE.
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anonymous4 says:
November 29, 2015 at 12:18 am
P.S.
As for Mr. Bigshot CO’s comment calling you a “Good-time Charlie” or whatever (whatever that is supposed to mean), it is in fact the Elders, Circuit Overseers, District Overseers, Governing Body, etc. who get a FREE RIDE through life, almost continuously enjoying a “Good Time,” living in comfort and luxury, eating the best food, being treated like Royalty and having their asses wiped EVERYWHERE they go, with the folks in the trenches paying for it all!!!!!!!!!
So to Mister BIGSHOT, I say: The DEVIL with YOU, YOU BREATHTAKING HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 29, 2015 at 12:29 am
P.P.S.
Sticking your fat nose, your filthy fingers, and your stinking paws into other people’s lives tends to result in all those, and many other, appendages, being involuntarily amputated.
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 29, 2015 at 12:43 am
P.P.P.S.
@phoenix_rising
You concluded by mentioning that the elders never showed you proper respect — Is that so surprising, in that one who does not respect oneself, is incapable of respecting anyone else?
Reply
Grace says:
November 29, 2015 at 3:32 pm
This is how our story went when we woke up.
Me (crying): I’m so depressed with this religion, I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t believe this s@*t anymore. I’m sorry but it has so many ridiculous teachings that are conflicting with the Bible & I might as well have stayed a Catholic. I don’t want to stop you from being a Witness but honey I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry, please don’t let me affect your faith.
( I hadn’t read any apostate stuff at this stage)
My Hubby: I know you’ve been unhappy for years now. Every time we get ready for the meeting you suddenly get sick & I haven’t pushed you. I see the hypocrisy too & I don’t know how to fix it for us but I don’t want to stop believing in Jehovah. I’m going to stop going to the meetings for a while so that I can think things through.
We stopped going for about 3 weeks, he stepped down as MS & told the Elders that he wants a break from the meetings to sort out his family (me). They came in 2’s over the next few weeks trying to “shepherd” us (8 all up). By this stage I started to read lots of Apostate stuff & bought Combatting Mind Control, the thing that stood out to me with the book was the lying as I had seen so many Witnesses lie over the years & it’s the one thing that irked me.
The shepherding visits got a little heated at times because I threw all of my doubts to them (who is our mediator? the 2 witness rule? no beards, why? do non JW’s prayers get answered?). I kept the questions simple to see how honest they would be with their replies. I wanted my husband to see it for himself. I eventually told the Elders that they were treating me like a naive householder & that they were not telling truthful answers to my questions.
I would say that I was marked after that because no one came around, all friendships ceased & I was avoided when I was out & about. My best friend wrote me an email to end the friendship in the nicest possible way.
Meanwhile, they would take the opportunity to get hubby by himself, going to his work to try to con him in to going back but he could see through the BS by this stage. He said to me; “I never noticed before how much Witnesses lie & they don’t even realise that they’re doing it.” This was after we read Combatting Mind Control together & had discussed the lying a fair bit.
Another thing that happened was one of Elders & his wife came to help us (we were close to). I could tell her eyes were gazing around the house to see if I had something satanic around the house but I didn’t say anything so I just let that drop. Later, when we were talking she mentioned something about my hubby still wanting to serve Jehovah so I said to her that I am not going to come between anyone & their faith, even my hubby but I will not let this religion come between my family at the same time. She knew how serious I was with my eyes.
The rest just fell into place & now we say to each other on regular basis that were so glad we’re out. It just took stepping back & looking at the big picture without the bombardment.
Reply
JB Reezner says:
November 29, 2015 at 4:36 pm
Great story, Grace! I look forward to these happy endings becoming more common as the Org continues to unravel before the very eyes of its members– and the rest of the world. And give Hubby our best, as always.
Reply
Grace says:
November 29, 2015 at 8:13 pm
Thanks JB,
He said to say hi back.
Love your comments BTW.
Reply
Alexandria R says:
November 29, 2015 at 5:55 pm
Yes the society messes family up and messes couples up and ruins marriages. My sister’s son-in-law is disfellowshipped. He is bi-polar. This is the third time he has been disfellowshipped for the same thing, alcoholism. In the past he has tried to commit suicide. He barely survived that. But he is alive. He is manic depressed. I’ve never seen anyone so depressed. I notice it is as if my sister is turning her back on her daughter as well as her son-in-law because that is her daughter’s husband. My sister said to me she wont have nuttin’ to do with him. I told her she needs to keep communication open with her daughter about her son-in-law and keep her ears open in case her daughter may need help. Brain washed JWs are so stupid. Their common sense is taken away. Jesus Christ didn’t hate the people who were misled but he sure did hate the people doing the misleading. (pharasees) I’m frustrated with my sister. She chooses to be blind. She chooses to be manipulated. She wants to be controlled. The GB are idiots and that makes my sister a moron for listening to them.
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:26 am
Excellent point. There are too many people (and btw they don’t hafta be JW’s!) who do WANT to be controlled and brainwashed. It’s easier. Just let someone(s) else do all your thinking and life-decision-making for you. It’s easier and it FEELS safer and SEEMS less risky. What those FOOLS don’t realize is that the boneheads to whom they have handed over their lives to, are no smarter or wiser or knowledgeable or capable or competent than themselves. That’s why their “leaders” resort to spinning FAIRY TALES to lead the “sheep” by their noses. SAPS!
Reply
Doc Obvious says:
November 29, 2015 at 6:53 pm
Why Reduce the Number of Special Full-Time Servants? (http://tv.jw.org/#en/video/VODStudio/pub-jwbrd_201511_4_VIDEO)
Hello. Special Full-Time Servants (Bethelites, Special Pioneers, etc). The above video states the reasons for Watchtower is laying off brothers and sisters from full-time service. The Watchtower Construction work is the primary focus of Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Preaching is second place. Can you believe this? Does this sound like something Jesus Christ would promote? Watchtower claims they will be sizing down construction projects. I know a project they need to size down. That is the Warwick project. This massively expensive project is huge expenditure for Watchtower. In addition, Watchtower claims that they have branches that are over 30 years old and need to be replaced. For real? Many people live in houses that are between 30 – 90 years old establishments. Buildings in large cities are over 100 years old and businesses are able to work just fine in those establishments.
There are a couple of reasons why Watchtower has been having financial difficulties. Number one, is global construction projects. A home or business is the number one big purchases a human being can buy. The second is an automobile. The second reason is the high volume of legal lawsuits that are entering American court systems due to child abuse. The Jehovah’s Witnesses are the number one violator of child abuse. Over a 1,000 cases globally. These lawsuit settlements are taking a huge bite out of the financial stability of Watchtower.
But, is that the mistatke of Full-time servants? Absolutely not! The Full-time servants have spent countless of hours devoted to Jehovah God. Some have decades of faithful service and the reward of such great efforts is Watchtower layoffs and a that-a-boy/girl from the Governing Body. They also want you to pray for Jehovah’s help.
According to Watchtower, building of buildings is a form of sacred service. I have not heard of a building knocking on doors. A physical building does not talk to people. People talk to people. Personally, I feel that Watchtower’s construction is “dead works”. Also, this building work is a never ending dilema. With a 30 year construction cycle, it is never ending.
If you agree with above statments. It is time for you Ex-Full-Time servants to take control of your life and move forward in a skill taught by a local community college or technical institution. If you need some help in finding a skill, please take a personality test and match the personality with a job. Make sure the job is relevant and in high demand. Most community colleges have guidance counselers that can assist in administrating a personality test.
Also, there are some great books out there to take self-assement personality tests for finding a skill, they are “What Color Is Your Parachute? 2016: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers” (http://goo.gl/ePg3KW), “Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type” (http://goo.gl/91RKOi), “The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success” (http://goo.gl/tGBWoB)
Now is the time for you brothers and sisters to become a regular publisher and pursue your goals.
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← The Friday Column: “Let the dead bury their dead”
The Friday Column: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses cherish the marital bond?
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Posted on November 28, 2015
Jehovah's Witnesses pride themselves on esteeming the sanctity of marriage. But is this true in all circumstances?
Jehovah’s Witnesses pride themselves on esteeming the sanctity of marriage. But is this true in all circumstances?
This time last year, I began my exit from the Jehovah’s Witnesses. My fade towards inactivity did not go unnoticed.
A few fellow believers and friends approached me with a strong warning: “Be careful. Satan is working through your husband to discourage you from serving Jehovah.”
Why would they jump to such a harsh conclusion? Was he a violent man, physically prohibiting me from attending meetings? Did he yell at me with a raised voice discouraging me from preaching? Did he berate me over my faith, pushing apostate ideas instead of Bible truths?
The answer to all such questions is a resounding “no!” He was the same kind, loving, hard-working, honest moral man I had married. The only thing that had changed was that he, one year prior, had left the religion of his youth, without any wrongdoing, discipline or explanation.
His exit triggered a change in how fellow believers viewed our relationship. For one year, I was constantly reminded of the danger of having a willful unbeliever as a spouse.
As most did, I believed Jehovah’s people respected the family arrangement, including the marital union, even if one was an unbeliever. Yet, this was not my personal experience. While I sought to find a balance in my new role, I received great pressure to give up and leave my husband.
This left me with questions: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses break up families? Do they allow for separation on grounds other than adultery? Finally, why would fellow members insist that Satan was making a personal attack against me via my spouse?
To help make sense of what was happening, I engaged in personal research and reflection.
In October 2014, JW.org posed this very question: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Break Up Families or Build Them Up?
This was their answer…
As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we work to build up families, both our own and those of our neighbors. … In the Bible, [Jehovah] teaches principles that have helped people around the world to have marriages that are strong and happy.
The article continues by giving experiences showing how mixed-belief families were better off because one mate became a Jehovah’s Witness. The newly converted mate could apply Bible principles to settle conflicts and strengthen the marriage bond.
However, the article goes on to admit that conversion could bring about conflict.
Admittedly, sometimes it does. For example, a 1998 report by the research company Sofres found that 1 out of 20 marriages in which only one mate was a Witness had serious problems when that one converted.
Jesus foretold that those who follow his teachings would at times suffer family strife. (Matthew 10:32-36)
As I read the last paragraph, it felt untruthful; an outright conflict of the behavior and teachings of ones inside the organization (bold is mine).
However, the Witnesses do not encourage their members to separate from a marriage mate who is not a Witness. The Bible says: “If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is agreeable to staying with him, let him not leave her; and if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:12, 13) Jehovah’s Witnesses abide by this command.
Perhaps, if I had never been a witness and my husband had remained an unbeliever, congregation members would have provided me support and treated me differently. But, alas, no. Because my husband became an unbeliever, willingly and by choice, I received no such support.
Rather, I had to beg the elders for a shepherding call. At the time, I was desperate for some guidance and help. It was the strangest experience.
Quickly, the tone of the meeting turned. The elders tried to pressure me to reveal private details about my mate’s exit from the organization. I refused. They warned me that Satan would try to “shipwreck” my faith through the actions of, and interactions with, my husband.
I needed encouragement and spiritual counsel. To this end, they provided me with a print out from the September 2006 Watchtower entitled, “When a Loved One Leaves Jehovah.” It described my personal, perceived situation with such descriptive words as deep anguish, devastating, heartbroken and difficult.
The elders tried to confirm this fear by sharing the following excerpt:
So it is not surprising that humans would grieve over the spiritual loss of a beloved relative.
Indeed, the spiritual loss of a loved one is among the most difficult of trials that come upon true worshipers. (Acts 14:22) Jesus said that accepting his message would cause division in some families. (Matthew 10:34-38) This is not because the Bible message of itself causes family division. Rather, unbelieving or unfaithful family members cause a rift by rejecting, abandoning, or even opposing the way of Christianity.
I left that meeting a wreck, and the badgering from congregation members continued. Within weeks of him no longer attending meetings or preaching, members of the congregation, including pioneers, elders, and elder’s wives, began to remind me that my marriage was second to my life and dedication to God. Without asking how things were at home, they began to assume my spouse was interfering with spiritual things.
Over and over again, congregation members offered unsolicited advice: “God comes first, so be prepared to separate.” Further, some even offered to help me pack up my belongings.
Not once did I tell anyone he was preventing me from attending meetings, preaching, or living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, he was still in good standing and had not committed any wrongdoing in the eyes of the congregation.
Now, divorce is only allowed if one of the mates commits adultery. But three extreme circumstances allow for separation. As explained in the book, “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” Appendix:
1.Willful Nonsupport
2.Extreme Physical Abuse
3.Absolute Endangerment of Spiritual Life
Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.
Yet, this was NOT so in my case. Why would they try so hard to push me away from my mate? Truly, I believe it was out of fear that I would begin to awaken and leave off serving Jehovah.
My friends were constantly reminding me that my spiritual life was endangered and the only solution was to separate from my husband.
Sadly, I understood the fear that motivated them. For most of my life, I was told marriage could only succeed if Jehovah was a part of it.
“Threefold cord” is a figurative expression. (Eccl. 4:12) When applied to marriage, it includes the husband and wife, two strands, who are intertwined with the central strand, God. Being united with God gives a couple the spiritual strength to cope with problems and to achieve happiness.—w08 9/15, page 16.
Truthfully, the fault lies with those issuing instructions and enforcing the teachings while disguising these as helpful advice.
I am glad I listened to my heart and common sense. I am grateful I fought to preserve my marriage in the face of conflict and change. We spent time together each day, usually walking in the evenings. This helped to bring us closer.
Honestly, it wasn’t until my husband left that we began to have real, honest conversations. This helped me open my eyes to the truth about this harmful organization. I am no longer a blind drone obeying without thought or consequence.
Is my marriage built up? Am I happier now that I can communicate without fear? Do we have more time to spend together, which in turn strengthens our marriage bond?
Yes! My only regret?
That we did not leave sooner.
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← The Friday Column: “Let the dead bury their dead”
123 Responses to The Friday Column: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses cherish the marital bond?
← Older Comments
James Wittinger says:
November 29, 2015 at 10:34 pm
Who are these nut cases to warn you and suggest you leave your husband? That is disgusting and pre-judging things they know nothing about. You should have told them your husband left because there were too many opinionated bigots in the congregation. Then play dumb and ask them if they know what a prejudiced bigot is. You’re just asking, that’s all. Play dumb. Bury them.
Reply
Hakizimana Jean de Dieu says:
November 29, 2015 at 10:40 pm
Messing couples up and ruining marriages and they will call it if not mistaken: “Signs of Jesus’ Presence…”! We should not ignore “DIVIDE and RULE” rule which in my opinion has become “Confuse and Rule” in Jehovah’s Organisation.
Is there anyone who think Jehovah’s cherish marriage bond? I am he/she is totally wrong: (Hosea 13:16) . . .Sa·marʹi·a will be held guilty, for she has rebelled against her God. By the sword they will fall, Their children will be dashed to pieces, And their pregnant women will be ripped open.”
How could a god that cherishes marriage bonds and families inspire his “prophets” to write down such bullies… A coward god it must be!!!
Reply
tiger123 says:
November 30, 2015 at 12:25 am
Nice article
Here is an important suggestion for anyone when the elders attempt to cause a separation like they did with Zephyr and you are the innocent mate. Get a good lawyer immediately! Do not procrastinate. Have the law office mail the Kingdom hall and the individual elders involved of your intent to sue them for mental an emotional damge due to their slander. Do this before a marking talk is given and warn them that any such talk will be made note of and used as additional evidence.
Know this, the elders will contact the legal department and will get a rude awakening, Watchtower will not back them up. The lawyers in New York are not there for their protection. If the Kingdom hall is at risk, which it should be, depending on the part.of the world you live in, the elders will be told to leave you andy our family alone.
There is zero reason to be victimized by these idiots. They play on people’s ignorance of.the law. Yes, they have freedom to practice religion, and freedom.of speech. They also have accountability for their actions. The quickest way to stop any and all of there tactics is by using the laws that are designed to protect us from these types of things.
Please understand I know exactly their reaction, I put them through this and know from 2 of the elders 1 who is now a happy apostate. They were told to leave me alone and do nothing. The elder who is now a close friend was was shocked and angry when told that any of their actions if they were sued would fall on him and the other elders. WT wanted nothing to do with it. That was the beginning of his fade.
Please spread the word. There doesn’t have to be any more victims of elders prying, meddling and breaking up families.
PS In an earlier time when a man tried to take another man’s wife, he would get the h*!! beat out of him. The threat of legal action is the nicest and most civilized way to handle it.
Reply
Idontknowhatodo says:
November 30, 2015 at 2:43 am
Does that apply in UK?
Reply
tiger123 says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:40 am
Most good attorneys will provide you with a free initial consultation to consider the merits of your individual case. The laws in the UK and the US governing slander and libel are very clear. They do provide for injunctive relief (order to cease talking about you) from the one slandering you and financial restitution for both the cost of litigation as well as financial loss.
WT has no interest in dealing with the ignorant rants of local elder bodies nor getting in numerous legal battles over Ex JWs leaving the borg. It is far easier for them to leave you alone than face possible punitive damages for allowing a BOE to harass you.
In the end, remember 2 things.
1. JW’s have no authority in the country where you live, other than the authority you willingly give them. No one outside JWs care what the WT or BOE have to say.
2. Their decisions and especially any type of lying or wrongful meddling falls directly under the courts of the UK. The courts do have authority over WT, the BOE and all of its citizens. That authority cannot be ignored. Most BOEs do not readily acknowledge this due to ignorance. However, they get whipped into shape quickly by Watchtower, because Watchtower definitely knows this to be true.
Know this, Watchtower is not as concerned with financial loss as they are having to apologize for bad policy. Look at how they defend the indefensible in the child molestation cases rather than providing apologies and seeking to improve their arbitrary rules.
You can be certain that elders talk to much about judicial matters with their wives and their wives talk to much to others. WT knows this all to well and does not want to have their club exposed and the whole system reworked as it was in the 1970s.
Elders who meddle will stop immediately when faced with legal action, make no mistake about it.
PS laws in the UK only allow 1 year from the date of the slander or libel for you to file your case.
Best Wishes
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:47 am
Thank you for that practical advice. You’re right, in days gone by, things were settled a little more directly and efficiently. :) In today’s Age of Enlightenment, if you bopped someone in the nose for sticking it in your affairs, YOU are the “BAD GUY”!!! LOL…LMAO…LMAOOL :) :) :)
P.S. Jehovah’s Witness Elders & Overseers really are nothing but a mob of meddling busybodies. Someone suggested they all go out and ‘get a job’. Wiser advice I have never heard.
P.P.S. To those who fear dissociating themselves because they’ll lose “friends” and “family”, trust me, speaking from personal experience, YOU’RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM.
Reply
anonymous4 says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:55 am
I meant JW elders & overseers are nothing but a mob of meddling busybodies AND BULLIES.
Reply
Hakizimana Jean de Dieu says:
November 30, 2015 at 7:23 am
Why should expect from them what they do not have? These untrained people are used as robots through letter to BOE are merely ‘slaves’ who are used by an angered god which regrets to have created man in its image (Genesis 6:6)!!
Reply
Badshah says:
November 30, 2015 at 12:17 pm
“To those who fear dissociating themselves because they’ll lose “friends” and “family”, trust me, speaking from personal experience, YOU’RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM.”
How would you like to be 60 years old and have to start over again? I face the latter years of my life alone. If I could do things differently, you bet I would.
Reply
Holy Connoli says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:26 am
@Badash. You are right. Facing the later years alone and making new friend is pretty difficult when you are 60 years old. It is a difficult situation to be in and I feel for you a lot. Maybe you can just fade a little at a time and pop up at meetings once in a while to “SAVE FACE”? I am not sure what the answer is in your situation bc I do not know the entire ordeal but I know it is not easy for you or anyone else in similar situation. My heart goes out to you.
Maybe get involved with some social or exercise organizations, meet new people, Sports, study at school, prop courses anything different and meet new people. Even a “NORMAL” religion may offer something new. The JW’s and WT will chew you up and spit you out after a lifetime of association if you DARE to have a different view point or see things differently.
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Idontknowhatodo says:
December 1, 2015 at 8:54 am
I agree with you Badshah…. my first doubts arose when I was 20…I ignored them because I feared my parents…and now I have no one who is not a jw… I really adore my lovely and kind but disillusional husband…and I love my wonderful children…who would shun me if I just left…I could never cope with that situation…I got baptised at 13 after being brought up in a disfunctional witness home…Im 57 so you should ubderstand that 44 years a slave is very hard to break free from when you really have nowhere to go….I wish you well my friend…60 years is a lifetime of lies and my heart breaks for you.
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tiger123 says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:18 am
I Could not agree with your statements more.
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Markie says:
November 30, 2015 at 12:46 pm
This is not a practical suggestion. Slander is almost impossible to prove. Especially since your witnesses would be in most cases hostile witnesses. But maybe just the mention of it would work.
Reply
tiger123 says:
November 30, 2015 at 9:05 pm
In the case of proving slander, Jehovahs Witnesses are commanded to be truthful. We know that many are not, however WT has to gamble that you do not have witnesses and that they will prevail. Additionally conversations can be recorded in person, not over the phone. The in person conversations are admissable in the vast majority of courts. A smart Attorney can trap a liar with the evidence only bolstering the case to a victory.
To say a victory is guaranteed is not possible, however WT by far has way more to lose and would rather stay on firm footing than pursue someone that could shine a light on to their treachery. WT when given the option to avoid facing civil losses have almost always chose to back down unless the individual shows no desire to back off of their law suit.
As far as your comments that I have seen, they seem to be incoherent at best. Do you use multiple IPs to do hit and runs on these sites? Your grammer and vocabulary seem the same as a person who called himself Anthony.
PS Slander can be hard to prove when it is told to you in 3rd person. However you have a built in solid witness when talking about the person you are married to. Even if you sense that they will not cooperate, recording your conversations with them are solid proof of what is happening. Then a follow up confrontation with the slanderer armed with the information that you gathered can blow the case wide open. (Never share what you have with anyone but your attorney especially any recordings) Sometimes beating a bully like WT takes multiple attempts to solve, but once a legal precedent is set and a victory is gained WT is in deep and cannot recover.
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Markie says:
November 30, 2015 at 10:42 pm
It’s funny, I thought the same about your post. It’s seems your posts are rambling, incoherent and logically flawed. It also sounds like English is a second language to you. And it doesn’t appear like your an attorney as your assertions are ridiculous. You say that slander “is hard to prove when told to you in third person” shows right there a lack of legal knowledge. Check out the term hearsay. If you can apply it correctly to your erroneous statement then I will believe you may have some knowledge. It actually seems that your trying too hard to sound knowledgeable. My apologies if I sound to harsh. And I do admit that sometimes I don’t proof read what I am posting and spell check screws up my thoughts.
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tiger123 says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:10 am
Markie/Anthony “Enigma”
You already know like I do that your posts will be deleted, so I wont waiste time replying to your foolish comment. It is obvious that you are attempting to derail an offense against the WT, by commenting while a discussion is active, hoping to mislead people. You know that if your comments are deleted later it won’t matter because people do not come back and reread the posts.
You offer no help to victims, rather you seek to poison them with a baseless arbitrary rejection of their right to seek legal help.
Your goal is obvious, protect the Watchtower.
If you have anything else to say, show some insight and help people. Otherwise your feeble attempts at pretending not to be a member of the borg trolling this site is painfully obvious. Your beloved WT’s days have been numbered.
@ everyone else
You have the right to legally defend what is yours. Watchtower is the only entity that would try and get you to believe otherwise. They are arrogant. If the laws vary in your area, find out what they are and then establish your case with the assistance of a competent attorney where appropriate. Watchtower has long used your money to defend themselves against you with lawyers. Just as they have constantly sought advice from their attorneys about this site and it’s contents to attempt to stop the truth from getting out. You no longer carry the burden of contributing for their lawyers if you are no longer a JW. Find out what your rights are and exercise those rights, especially if your family is at stake.
The poet Dylan Thomas said it best.
“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light”
Fight for what is yours!
Roman Castañeda says:
November 30, 2015 at 3:50 am
My mom is in a similar situation. Her congregation has her back when and if she decides to leave my step-dad just because he’s from a different belief. He’s actually tried going to a few meetings, but he saw some things that were not at all right, and who can blame him. He is such a good guy. I respect him profusely. He doesn’t deserve to be treated differently just because he refused to follow my mom into the Jehovah’s witnesses.
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ruthlee says:
November 30, 2015 at 5:10 am
Don’t know if my original post got lost or will turn up if it does apologies now for repeating myself. I’m still at the fading stage. My husband thinks I will be out in about a year. I wonder if he is right. Like Jane we walk and talk a lot so that is good. He is even more active in the cong and like others I have said I would not oppose him. Our tricky situation is that we bred two superintelligent aspie kids for the borg but they don’t fit in lala land. I have said to him to be very careful in nurturing our children because you constantly damn higher education and promote window washing. This paradise he is so determined to work for will have very clean windows into eternity but no beautiful fragile minds who are capable of exquisite thought (in my opinion, god given). The continued trend to dumb everything down to one brain cell is not healthy and you as an org, you will reap what you sow . I hope I made him think because the way they fantasize about paradise now is all a bit silly, some are perpetually on bible studies and others are learning Hebrew whilst playing the piano and building log cabins. All those shiny windows and fat birds so lovely.Not a bible reading between them! I will maintain Jehovah’s Witnesses DO NOT read their bible or anyone elses for that matter. ruthlee
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Holy Connoli says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:16 am
@ruthlee. THE JW’s only read selective scriptures and apply it to whatever situation they desire. They barley speak of Jesus or if they do it is in
the sense of “EXAMPLE” only and not in the sense of a savior or having a personal relationship with him. It amazes me that in many articles they will not even mention Jesus anymore. Look at some of the study articles and you will see his name rarely mentioned. If you read the Greek scriptures and gospels it is overwhelmingly speaking of Jesus and the love of the Christ etc. no mention of Jehovah’s Organization at all.
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Hakizimana Jean de Dieu says:
November 30, 2015 at 6:07 am
It seems WTS is fooling everybody!! They are now teaching JWs Women to “imitate” Jael therefore making them “executioner for Jehovah.”! Who are they taught to kill? Their husbands who leave their faith are the fist target… How can you teach women to kill and say you values marriage bonds?
Read for yourself about the insidious attack on the family: http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2015566?q=%28jael%29&p=par
Only idiots can failure to understand the idea behind “imitating Jael”!!
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David says:
November 30, 2015 at 7:39 am
Very good comments, Today I was thinking the same thing that most of the comments highligh.
The governing body has replaced Jesus and God roles. In fact many have been disfellowpshiped and consequently treated as subhumans just because they loved truth.
So for example when you discuss the Trinity or about the pope position you research, study the Bible and come up with a conclusion.
If you use the same approach with understanding the organisation’s baptisimal questions or the interepretations of the overlapping generations and you love real truth you will surely understand that they have deverted from truth and reality.
You’ll not find in the Bible any reference that you need to follow any organisation to be saved or that Jesus refered to two generations.
The GB like many other questionable religious leaders build God in their image because their success comes first instead of love of truth and people.
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Rosie says:
November 30, 2015 at 8:09 am
The hypocrisy that stems from within the Org is disgusting. The above article is very true.
I know of two siblings who prior to becoming JWs had certain “issues” between them. They remained very close regardless of these issues and when they both became JWs, one went on to become an Elder and the other a Pioneer.
Years later the Elder discovered TTATT and left The Org. Dismayed to realise how they had been duped and brainwashed, he hastened to share his findings with his active JW sibling, who instantly cut all contact with him. The JW sibling then raked up all the issues that had happened prior to them becoming JWs and proceeded to hold these against the former Elder as well as castigating him as an apostate.
The former Elder developed a serious illness and was struggling. The JW sibling did not bother contacting him; showed no interest and offered no help or support, instead preferring to think that spending all their time pushing JW literature onto strangers was what mattered in life and was “what Jehovah would want”.
The JW sibling also had a daughter who had married a pioneer. After the pioneer husband also discovered TTATT and left the Org, the JW sibling immediately began nagging the daughter to leave her husband. So far the marriage is intact, but interestingly although there were problems in the marriage before, it was only after the daughter’s pioneer husband left the Org that the JW sibling tried to push her into divorcing him – as though it was the action of becoming an ex-JW that was what warranted ending the marriage.
I really cannot fathom how anyone can convince themselves that these actions are what the supposedly “loving God” (that they profess to worship), would approve of?
Deluded, hypocritical and without compassion I think.
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Markie says:
November 30, 2015 at 9:12 am
I think you all are missing the point. A sister should be able to cut the kitchen in half. In other words learn to take a punch, then pray to jehovah to become a better wife! Dont yiu remember the recent watchtower? Shame on you. And please keep in mind yesterday’s watchtower about the fine example of the brother that downsized his janitorial business and did it remotely. That was a wonderful example.
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JB Reezner says:
November 30, 2015 at 4:59 pm
Is your comment to be taken seriously, or was it a clumsy attempt at sarcasm? In other words, are you an asshole, or just an idiot?
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Markie says:
November 30, 2015 at 10:58 pm
Wow, are you stalking me? I guess it was too hard for you to understand my point. Your use of foul language and name calling makes your intellectual level apparent. Sounds like you listened very closely to the GB and did not pursue a higher education. You should be so proud of yourself. Also my I suggest that you reread the posting rules.
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JB Reezner says:
December 1, 2015 at 12:20 am
You’re purposefully argumentative and abrasive. Inexplicably, you’re confounded by the fact that–on a JW cult education/recovery site–you hear people speak disparagingly of that cult. You’re loving the attention you’ve gotten here in the past few days as a result of your passive-aggressive comments, and you want more.
Rather than replying to this with your idea of a clever comeback, just think about what I’m saying. If you can’t contribute to the peace and helpfulness of this site–and if most of what you read here irritates you–then this simply isn’t the place for you. Come back when you understand the need for a site like this– after you’ve been crushed by the cult, or have seen the people you care about crushed by it.
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dee says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:45 am
“You’re loving the attention you’ve gotten here in the past few days as a result of your passive-aggressive comments, and you want more.”
……….sounds like a case of Histrionic Personality Disorderhttp://psychcentral.com/disorders/histrionic-personality-disorder-symptoms/
Ocma says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:48 am
Well said. So tired of coming here and getting to the comments and having to scan over what that guy says (he has used a few different names now, hasn’t he?). This site is supposed to be a help for others, not a posting board for someone who enjoys being a jerk. I’ll continue to skip his comments. They’re a waste of time.
Badshah says:
November 30, 2015 at 9:23 am
Jane, thank you for the wonderful article. It was well-written and beautifully expressed. It was also very sad.
My wife and I have been separated for 1.5 years. She is a regular pioneer of long-standing, and I am an ‘evil apostate.’ I made the mistake of officially disassociating myself in 2013. After that things became very strained between us, in particular because she was shunning me in our own home. It was a very difficult time for both of us.
I finally moved out. One afternoon, before I left, she sat down in our living room with me, and started to talk. She said that we were both good people, loved each other, but just too different. She said we could still be friends, but the marriage was unsustainable. I was actually relieved because I totally agreed. Neither she nor I could change enough to make it work. That was the trigger for me moving out.
From that day onward, the doors closed between us. She has ceased all communication with me, and changed the locks on our home. The shunning is intense- way beyond what they normally call for. I realize now, that she is being counseled to avoid me at all costs. My former friends are doubtlessly advising her to keep me away.
Most religions have some sort of marriage counseling and support. The Watchtower tears people apart. I know now that we will never reconcile, and part of the blame lies squarely on this vile and destructive cult!
Thanks again for the article.
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ruthlee says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:21 am
GOODSHAH One soul sister’s heart bleeds for you.ruthlee
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rob says:
November 30, 2015 at 11:33 am
From what I personally observed when I was a witness, it was crystal clear that the religion was always to be number one in a person’s life. It was to be more important than the relationship between a husband and wife and more important than the relationship between parents and children.
I have heard it said that it is apparent that the watchtower doesn’t just divide families – it destroys families. It has destroyed my family as well.
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Holy Connoli says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:57 am
@ ROB. My wife and I are currently separated. She is a staunch Pioneer and is extremely headstrong JW and worships the GB and anything they say. All of our married years were difficult. She ALWAYS and still does put religion first and VERY much to the detriment of our relationship. That has been my biggest complaint. She would pioneer and not take care of any of her responsibilities as I would go off to work. She would spend money like an addicted drug addict. Whenever I would get upset about it she would spend more. I said then you need to quit pioneering and get a JOB! She would say oh no.. the end is so near why do we need more money? It was an is a vicious cycle. I could never have a normal discussion or open forum bc if I showed any doubt or reasoning against the Wacko teachings she would go nuts or cry etc. So after many years I just could not do it anymore as I watched her focus over and over on her “BIBLE Studies: KH projects, assemblies, conventions, and anything JW or WT and neglect myself and our kids. I could go on and on but I think you guys see the picyure. Oh yes, another thing… I got baptized in the mid 70’s as a 20 year old and got married quickly after that bc WT policy was if you date..you need to marry them..! She never wanted to have children either bc the end was so near and children would be a burden in the GT which was imminent in her mind and the minds of JW’s.
I had to “SNEAK” a few kids in during my youth or I would be childless today. Her dream was to pioneer and make converts.We continued to grow apart. I felt bad to see her crying when I would not go to meetings and faded away as a JW Elder. So a few months ago she decided to move out which she did and on her way out raided my bank account
which I held in both names for over $150000 US dollars! Nice Pioneer ha? I talked with the elders and despite that they told her not to leave she did anyway.
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Hakizimana Jean de Dieu says:
November 30, 2015 at 11:15 pm
The Governing Body knows where it is heading… Marital bonds are nothing before their hidden agenda. They have created what they call “Jael class” = “Other Sheep” ready to act as robots even in splitting marital bonds…
*** su chap. 16 p. 128 par. 15 What Will You Personally Do? ***
As is true of other non-Israelite worshipers of Jehovah, Jael pictures the “other sheep” who do good to Christ’s spiritual brothers. Regardless of what ties their close relatives may have to the world and its ruling class, the “other sheep” do not approve of oppression of Jehovah’s people by worldly rulers. Their loyalty is to the Greater Barak, the Lord Jesus Christ, and to his true followers. These of the Jael class do not personally raise a hand against the worldly rulers, but they use whatever is at their disposal to counteract efforts to oppress Jehovah’s servants. They do not hold back from making known that they are in full harmony with Jehovah’s purpose to destroy all of his enemies
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Hakizimana Jean de Dieu says:
December 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
“the Jael class… use whatever is at their disposal to counteract efforts to oppress Jehovah’s servants. They do not hold back from making known that they are in full harmony with Jehovah’s purpose to destroy all of his enemies”!! That’s where marital bonds are sacrificed as “the Jael class” supports “the John Class”!!
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dee says:
December 1, 2015 at 12:42 am
@Alexandria R
Has your sister’s son-in-law been able to get professional help from a counsellor/therapist/psychologist for his alcoholism, manic depressive bi-polar condition?
Whereas the WT does not forbid a JW seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist, it does however speak disparagingly of these professions as the following excerpts show and so JWs may not be inclined to seek help from these professionals who are trained to deal with these complex situations:
Watchtower 1990 September 1 p.15
“The sister then told her how a knowledge of Bible truth had helped her. She had lost an 18-year-old daughter in death and had gone into a state of deep depression for eight years. Neither psychiatrists nor costly medications helped her to overcome this depression. Several times, she said, she was hospitalized, but no improvement resulted. Her household was taken care of by servants because she herself was not able to take care of anything. She tried to commit suicide because she had lost interest in life. Nothing seemed to help.
Then, she told the lady, one day Jehovah’s Witnesses called and left her some Bible literature. That sparked her interest in God’s Word, and she began to read the Bible all the way through. Something started to change within her. She began to get up in the morning and take an interest in her household. She finally decided to take care of the house by herself and found she was able to do so. It was as though she had never been sick! This made her feel very happy.
She did not return to the psychiatrist. Her will to live was stimulated by her knowledge of God’s Word, and this proved to be the best medicine. She looked for Jehovah’s Witnesses, and they started a regular study with her. She also began to attend meetings, and very soon she got baptized. No longer bothered with depression, she now finds joy in serving Jehovah.”
Watchtower 1988 Oct 15 p.29
“What, though, about accepting treatment from a psychiatrist or a psychologist? This would be a personal decision to be made with due caution. … Of even more concern is the fact that some well-intentioned practitioners have given advice that flatly contradicts the Bible. … Does the physician understand and respect the beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses?”
Awake! 1975 August 22 p.25
“Is the turning of people from the clergy to the psychiatrists a healthy phenomenon? No, for it really is a case of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. They are worse off than they were before… That they are not the ones to go to for help when one is depressed and beset with all manner of problems is to be seen from the fact that suicides among them are twice as frequent as among the population in general… what is needed at such times is not worldly psychiatrists who may wholly ignore the change that the truth and God’s holy spirit have made in one’s life and who know nothing of their power to help one put on a new Christian personality. Rather, what is needed at such times is a mature Christian in whom one has confidence and who is vitally interested in one’s welfare and who will not shrink back from administering needed reproof or counsel so that one may get healed.”
Awake! 1960 March 8 p.27
“As a rule, for a Christian to go to a worldly psychiatrist is an admission of defeat, it amounts to ‘going down to Egypt for help.’ Isaiah 31:1. Often when a Witness of Jehovah goes to a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist will try to persuade him that his troubles are caused by his religion, entirely overlooking the fact that the Christian witnesses of Jehovah are the best-oriented, happiest and most contented group of people on the face of the earth. They have the least need for psychiatrists. Also, more and more psychiatrists are resorting to hypnosis, which is a demonic form of worldly wisdom.”
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Holy Connoli says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:42 am
@Dee and Hakiaimana Jean…You guys both nailed it on the heard and your research proves that the WT is a Cult withtheir archaic unscientific and un medical Ideas. It is like they are telling the JW R&F..”Just drink this Cool aid” and everything will be fine. We don’t need and professional help from Worldly people bc they are from the Devil and “WE” are the happiest people on earth! In my 22 plus years as an ACTIVE JW I never saw or experienced all of these HAPPY JW’s. I saw more depression and problems than I could deal with.
Great research guys.
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dee says:
December 1, 2015 at 1:36 am
Good going Jane,
Glad to know that you didn’t allow the JWs to destroy your marriage and that both of you are out of that life-destroying cult. You certainly haven’t lossed anything by leaving the JWs when you consider that there is a possibility that marital bliss may come to an end in the WT’s fairy tale paradise:
Watchtower 1952 Aug 1 p.478:
“When the mandate to fill the earth is fulfilled, when childbearing ceases, the marriage partners may continue their association together as life companions, OR THEY MAY NOT (caps mine), depending upon the divine will at that future, distant time.”
Reply
ruthlee says:
December 1, 2015 at 2:52 am
Remember somewhere it says jealousy is rottenness to the bones. Well the bones of this old religion are rotten and porous and fit for fertilizer. It seems to me if you have ANY advantage be it money, happiness, brains, even beauty, the org insists on undermining the best you have. It is like the greedy grave never enough. The thing is in this information age everything is being exposed for what it is and these edicts from HQ don’t stand up any more. I wonder how long before they stop harassing the gunfodder ie those who attempt to stray as it will be too much hassle and start to bite the party faithful. That will be an interesting turn of events. I have seen many marriages that seem fairly stable and happy, be picked on to undermine the couple. The usual jibe is they have too much leisure time together. Well good for them the more they miss those horrid meetings and spend time together the longer the marriage may last. Is that not what god wants? Strong families who actually know each other. Its a fact pioneer sisters know more about cong gossip than they do their husband’s interests because those meddlers are bored with their own family so target others. Then if really sneaky report back to elder hubby .So then who rocks the cradle of the baby cong?. I can only summize the disintegration of normal but struggling families may well lay at the door of the idle gossips as they cannot resist a soap opera. Soaps have been banned from viewing since the80’s so they create their own within the cong. Elders never deal with this because it gives them something to do on their day off . It’s all a bit daft if we stop and think about it. I think the best thing I have read in my journey out is make the best success of life outside the org, as that is the best victory. For those who can salvage their marriage I think it’s worth the try and at least you can say it was without the help of fussy sisters and sheepish elders its your hardwork and determination. How dignifying that would be. ruthlee
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Marcos says:
December 1, 2015 at 8:36 am
I’m no longer a JW and agree the cult is dangerous to all JW but I think the site is losing the focus and might lose credibility trying to find too many faults on JWs.
They are nice people but unfortunately they are blinds. Let’s help them to open their eyes.
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rob says:
December 1, 2015 at 8:56 am
Marcos, I agree with you that it is important to help people open their eyes, but it is also a very difficult task to try to rationalize with individuals, who when it comes to anything about this religion are sometimes irrational.
I have in the past tried to reason calmly with my relatives, showing them the reasons why I could no longer support this religion, and the only answer I ever recieved was “wait on Jehovah” He will make things right.
In the meantime I saw so many injustices and so many people who were thrown away and shunned by families.
In my eyes this religion was not a place that I felt was directed by God, but by man and lawyers. Unfortunately any further discussions I had with my relatives turned into inquisitions and suspicions of apostasy and so I simply stopped talking with them about the religion. Maybe I am a coward but in the end each individual must make their own choices and decide whether this religion is right for them.
Reply
ruthlee says:
December 1, 2015 at 9:20 am
An interesting comment about too much fault finding with the jws Thats maybe true but it is the behaviour of the nice people that has it’s effect on those that are harmed by the religion. I struggle to comprehend which came first the skewed doctrine or the type of people who believe that type of thing and then act accordingly. I think it’s hard to say. I heard an expression once “the disease to please” maybe that is why generally jws act so nice they genuinely want to please people, obey rules, have structure in life .However if it goes against decent human kindness and the unwritten laws of humanity the whole system becomes flawed.One lie begets another so you can still be nice but lie through your teeth.ruthlee
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New videos are constantly being uploaded to the John Cedars YouTube channel.
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16 Responses to Videos
KtotheRAD "Konrad" says:
August 25, 2013 at 6:55 pm
With every word they reveal and “impart” far more than they ever intended…
Reply
george says:
August 27, 2013 at 4:45 am
Sorry Cedars, I can only access the first video on my I pad. There are a lot of over sized play icons and they won’t work.
Reply
Luke says:
October 27, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Continue the good work on this site that expose what Watchtower Organization really are — a fanatic end-time driven cult that only serve interests of its leaders. I left this
cult three years ago for good. My only regret is that I had not left the Watchtower Cult earlier! On Easter Sunday this year, I was baptized in the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and received into Eastern Orthodox Church, apostolic Church that preserved the Faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.
Cedar, you have my blessings of your work on this site that
will yet help millions of JWs to see the truth of so-called ‘Truth’.
Reply
Fred says:
November 2, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Forget taking your numbers from a 1974 yearbook if you question the amount of those killed, interned, etc get the numbers from the Holocaust museum. You forgot to mention the ‘JEWS’ were and its quoted several times in the Watchtower publications as it is related in the bible, “ONCE GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE” but they did not remain that because of their actions. Your quotes from WT publications are based on the latter that they fell out of favour in God’s eyes. They therefor were NOT written in an anti-Semitic nature. Many Jews have become JW’s over the years are they lesser beings because they were of Jewish blood?…ABSOLUTELY NOT! All races are equal so this video in my opinion is twisted in its presentation. Not to mention the ridiculous claim of Rutherford’s so called love letter to Adolf Hitler. No blinders on here, I have checked the facts. Sorry but this video paints an untruthful twist of events and statements about the WT as regards the comments on the Nazi’s and Jews.
Reply
Palma says:
February 28, 2014 at 3:48 am
Hi everybody! Hi cedars!
I found this article about a discovery in egypt that brings light to the origin of story of joseph in the bible.
What do you think?http://www.davidovits.info/the-lost-fresco-and-the-bible-my-new-book-in-french/
Reply
Idris says:
March 27, 2014 at 8:12 am
Thank you for this page, it has been a great help to me, as I seek the truth of the word of God, however I noticed in the video ‘Does the Bible speak of ‘Paradise Earth’ the speaker quotes Luke 21v43 twice, regarding Jesus word on the cross, there should be a correction note as the verse he mentions is in Luke 23 v 43.
Keep up the good work
Reply
Julia Orwell says:
July 17, 2014 at 3:47 am
Been to internationals before and this elaborate souvenir thing is entirely new. The last one I went to in 2009, the last ones they had, had nothing like this so it’s not a matter of you having not noticed it in the past, it’s a matter of it being a new phenomenon.
I theorize that the wt motives for this involve keeping the masses busy and therefore obedient. Jws would volunteer to do this because there are no other legitimate outlets for creative expression. Armageddon being near has nothing to do with it: it’s about keeping the sheeple busy and happy. Making stupid trinkets is also a team building activity as it involves jws working together, thus reinforcing the herd mentality jws have.
Reply
frankie fernandez says:
February 27, 2015 at 4:44 pm
dear friends I was baptized in 1974. Thank God I am no longer a member of the WT. Free at last and oh what a relief it is. A member of my former congregation who I considerd my best friend molested a minor. There was a big argument amognst the elders on the judicial committee. One elder who was a maverick, wanted to notify the police. But, instead they followed the instuctions of the society. They kept this crime against the child, hush hush. So as not to tarnish the name of Jehovah. But in reality it was a coverup to protect the wt’s reputation. Meanwhile this poor child that was raped has to carry the heavy burden of a victim for the rest of thier lives without compensation and without justice. While the abuser has remaind a member in good standing. The congregation he is attending now has not been notified that he is a sexual preditor.
Reply
Holy Connoli says:
November 17, 2015 at 1:14 am
Frankie.If I were you I would turn him into the police now even though it may have been several years ago he committed this crime. Many sexual predators get turned in years later after the crime is reveled. At the very least he will be investigated and his Name will be mud for being a creep.
He deserves it and so does the WT for its NON protection of the flock and not caring for the victim but only their phony reputation.
Reply
Kirtley W. Burggraf says:
March 11, 2015 at 11:16 am
Tell me, since governing body members are elected (replacing someone who dies) at what point do do they become “divinely inspired” or “spirit guided”? Were they always thus in the lower ranks or does this just “happen” the moment that they are appointed? What’s Watchtower’s take on this?
Reply
Alone in MD says:
March 31, 2015 at 6:00 pm
Regards your video on the Memorial Service. I am one of those “non believers” married to a baptized witness. I go to just keep the peace but I’ve made it known that I consider this service one of the worst religious ceremonies that I have ever been to. “Anointed What”. Also it was announced at last years meeting that “this may be the last memorial service”. They are at it again. Thanks for the great videos.
Reply
frankie fernandez says:
May 10, 2015 at 9:50 pm
IF CHRIST WAS ENTHRONGED IN 1914, WHY ARE THE WITNESES STILL CELEBRATING THE MEMORIAL? CHRIST SAID THAT AFTER HIS ARRIVAL NO ONE WAS TO CELEBRATE THE MEMORIAL .ALSO HE SAID THAT THE DAY OF HIS PRESENSE, IT WILL BE LIKE LIGHTNING FROM ONE POINT OF THE EARTH TO ANOTHER. LIGHTNING TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF 3500 MILES PER SECOUND. SO IT WILL TRAVEL AROUND THE GLOBE IN LESS THAN A MINUTE. HE ALSO SAID THAT ALL EYES WILL SEE HIM. NOT LIKE THE WTS THAT SAYS WE ARE IN HIS INVISIBLE PRESENSE.
Reply
pj wilcox says:
July 31, 2015 at 3:21 am
I watched the latest video of the inept elder being questioned by the commission. Who prepared this man for testimony? You all are aware of the dentist who shot Cecil the lion in Kenya? Well his life is over. He is in hiding. What he did ,did not break laws in Kenya and his is in a world of trouble with public sentiment. But this elder being questioned is far worse. He covered deeds that drove people to think of killing themselves. Should he not go into hiding? Is his life over? Has he know conscience? Emotion, caring? You know the answer. Bet ya, damage control is working overtime on this.
Reply
Adrian says:
September 8, 2015 at 3:32 am
I think the Royal Commission videos demonstrate that fragility of the governance within the WT society. Yes, it’s an Australia branch issue but cross examination only points to the seat of control on which the governing body members sit. Everything starts and stops with the governing body, they set the policy but where are they? Sitting comfortably in NY watching from a distance ready to abdicate any responsibility whatsoever. A governing body governs and leads but I see no leadership I see the followers talking and being bashed around the head with questions, all too easy for the legal team.
However, it might just be me but does anyone else not see the lawyer’s gap in knowledge regarding the fundamental rationale for the WT society policies, they fall back in their comfort zone knowing that they can say ‘well we don’t have the authority to go beyond the bible.’
It’s this gap in knowledge of the legal representatives which the WT society exploit. I mean nobody is going to ask ‘ where actually did this translation come from anyway?’ What were the academic qualifications of the translators? Is there a possibility that you have interpreted things wrongly or even worse, translated things incorrectly? If there’s a possibility that your interpretation on how to deal with modern day child abuse cases in congregations may be flawed, then are you in agreement that your policies could result in lasting harm to victims of abuse? In my view that translation is the ‘elephant in the room’ every scholar knows it’s perverse but no one is holding this cult to account. So easy to say it’s all in the bible but should they really be saying it’s all in the NWT instead?
The WT society in the videos almost give of an innocence as if to say, ‘ but that’s what we understand from the scriptures’, and I think it works in their favor, but a savvy legal representative would do well to tease out the basis for the rendering of certain verses on which doctrine, policy and organisational decisions are based. So far the WT Society appears to be one step ahead because their authority is not a person but a book, which they are ‘only trying to understand and live by’. Expose the origin of the NWT and the basis for so many ridiculous uncaring decisions is called into question.
Reply
Rick Viger says:
November 10, 2015 at 3:26 pm
Thanks John for all you do with your videos.
I’m an ex JW for 40 years now. I hope your videos reach some witnesses and make them think. For all of you that have left Watchtower remember you made the right decision.
Reply
S.T. says:
November 24, 2015 at 9:48 pm
I was wondering if anyone has heard that Jehovah’s witnesses are telling there congregations that the end of this system could have only hours left? My sister who is a Jehovah’s Witness said they are preaching this at the congregations. Has anyone else heard this?
Reply
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20 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
The Friday Column looks at displays of indifference by some #jehovahswitnesses in the wake of the #ParisAttacks http://wp.me/p1TWXJ-2cw
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17 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
Some interesting numbers coming out of bethel for the annual report. If true, they confirm growth is at a total standstill.
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16 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
Have you heard ‘Still Sleepwalking Toward Armageddon’ by @SamHarrisOrg on #SoundCloud? #np https://soundcloud.com/samharrisorg/still-sleepwalking-01?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=twitter …
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4 Nov
AvoidJW.org @avoidjw_org
@cedarsjwsurvey responds to Mark Sanderson's "come home to Jehovah" November broadcast: http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/my-response-to-mark-sandersons-come-home-to-jehovah-november-broadcast … #wakeup
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13 Nov
AvoidJW.org @avoidjw_org
The Friday Column: Jehovah's Witnesses - a safe group for children with Autism?: http://jwsurvey.org/child-indoctrination/the-friday-column-jehovahs-witnesses-a-safe-group-for-children-with-autism …
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13 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
Jehovah's Witness caught with indecent images of young girls http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/leading-jehovahs-witness-caught-indecent-10438586#ICID=sharebar_twitter …
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13 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
JWsurvey writer James Strait explores the suitability of the JW faith for a child with autism... http://wp.me/p1TWXJ-2bE
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6 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
Guest writer John Redwood examines the authoritarian control exemplified in the latest Watchtower study edition... http://wp.me/p1TWXJ-2aT
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1 Nov
Great_ReTweeterRadio @Great_ReTweeter
Cult Awareness Video of the Week: @cedarsjwsurvey thoughts on JW Broadcasting 13
https://youtu.be/-3v6-oLtuhU
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1 Nov
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
My thoughts on JW Broadcasting 13, with Gerrit Lösch (http://tv.jw.org )... https://youtu.be/-3v6-oLtuhU via @YouTube
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25 Oct
Watchtower&Awakening @ApostateAwake
So the #ClocksGoBack.
Great, could someone let #Creationists know they can bring theirs forward a couple of thousand years?
Cheers guys.
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23 Oct
Susannah JW Reporter @JWReport
Dont bother to write to #Jehovahswitnesses here is what they are told to say #bonkers #Awake or just #wakeup #free http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/highly-secretive-talmudic-correspondence-guidelines-document-leaked-by-watchtower-insider …
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23 Oct
JW.borg @jw_borg
http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/highly-secretive-talmudic-correspondence-guidelines-document-leaked-by-watchtower-insider … very interesting guidelines for JWorg, regarding correspondence. Thanks @cedarsjwsurvey and to whoever leaked this.
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23 Oct
AvoidJW.org @avoidjw_org
Racial Segregation & Jehovah’s Witnesses http://avoidjw.org/2015/10/racial-segregation/ …
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23 Oct
Anthony @armathenia
Cheers to @cedarsjwsurvey and his insider getting this out. http://jwsurvey.org is bogged down, but check out his article soon.
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23 Oct
JW.borg @jw_borg
@HowardandCarlos @cedarsjwsurvey Big day for this leak. It splashed on reddit.....hard. The more people who know about this cult, the better
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23 Oct
Snoop-a-Loop @Alesiskorg
@cedarsjwsurvey didn't know a "true Christian" does not participate in tying of tubes/vasectomy unless life danger pic.twitter.com/eX957ltyjS
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23 Oct
Lloyd Evans @cedarsjwsurvey
Announcing the latest leak of highly-sensitive #Watchtower documents... https://youtu.be/BCqT4tvqzOg via @YouTube
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23 Oct
AvoidJW.org @avoidjw_org
Highly-secretive "Talmudic" Correspondence Guidelines document leaked by Watchtower insider: http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/highly-secretive-talmudic-correspondence-guidelines-document-leaked-by-watchtower-insider …
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